


underwater

by jennierubies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Consensual Infidelity, Death Threats, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Infidelity, M/M, Mild Smut, Moral Ambiguity, My First Fanfic, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Rating May Change, Shy Kim Junmyeon, Slow Burn, Threats of Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, all mistakes are my own NDHFDS, book editor junmyeon bc i said so!, but not /too/ slow i promise OFIJDHUF, he gets ... pushed around a lot, platonic relationships are valid, revenge porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 86,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25233391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennierubies/pseuds/jennierubies
Summary: Kim Junmyeon has the perfect life from the outside looking in. He’s engaged to be married, works his dream job, and has a group of friends that support him — anyone would be foolish to think that he wasn’t happy. It’s obvious that his relationship isn’t going as well as he likes to pretend, but Junmyeon holds out hope that it will all change.Zhang Yixing is a charismatic lawyer with an impeccable reputation. Junmyeon doesn’t expect to meet him, but when the two cross paths, he begins to see the cracks in his “perfect” life that he chose to ignore. He’s searching for love in the wrong place, and Yixing’s honeyed words blur his vision. Soon, Junmyeon finds himself in an illicit affair with the man. Even when he thinks he’s keeping his distance, he just can't get enough.The affair brings about undetected consequences that Junmyeon would have never imagined. But there’s one thing he has seemingly forgotten: what’s done in the dark always comes to light.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Original Male Character(s), Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 100
Kudos: 120





	1. one

“Is she actually coming here?” Jennie’s hands clasp together. “Lee Jieun is really going to be signing with us?”

The young copy writer’s features brighten when Junmyeon nods his head, and she squeals in excitement. Junmyeon remembers how much Jennie loved Jieun’s work — she had her poetry books on hand at all times, often reading and rereading them when she enjoyed a quick lunch at her desk. The pages of the books were crinkled from constant ear marking and pink gel pen hearts in the corners to mark which poems were her favorite.

The last time Junmyeon caught a glimpse of the book, nearly all of the pages had a pink heart.

“I can’t believe it — she’s going to be here… I could edit her work! I don’t think I can contain my excitement. I might have a heart attack.” 

Jennie’s hand flies up to her chest and over her heart, taking in a few deep breaths despite the wide grin on her face that has yet to disappear.

“Yah, Jennie,” Junmyeon scolds teasingly. “Seulgi is already out today. I don’t need you gone too.”

“I know, I know.” She glances at her watch. “She’s just so…  _ wow _ .”

Before he gets the chance to say anything more, Jennie is already rushing back to her seat and excitedly flipping through the worn poetry book. Junmyeon is rather fond of the young girl, mostly due to her radiation personality and the fact that he saw her as the younger sibling that he never had.

When he encountered Jennie for the first time, she was nervously sitting in the lobby of Haneul Publishing, biting on the corner of her perfectly manicured thumbnail. She had come in for her interview, and was reading over her resume as if she had forgotten something. What stood out to Junmyeon was the Louis Vuitton handbag that was placed securely across her chest and her feet donned a pair of shoes with bright red soles.

She looked like a rich girl out of place, but the second that she bowed to their boss at perfect angle and grinned gummily, Junmyeon knew that she wasn’t the typical rich kid. Jennie is a hardworking girl who clearly took pride in having her own job. Although she was dropped off in a darkly tinted Range Rover every morning, she was always willing to stay late or come in early if needed. 

In short, Jennie was one of the best on his editing team.

Junmyeon hums contentedly, turning back to his computer to finish preparing for his final meeting of the day. He was looking forward to working with Jieun as well considering that he’s heard nothing but good things about her, and he was happy that she chose Haneul after ending the contract with her previous company. He had questions about why this happened, but he hasn’t had the chance to ask. 

He stands from his desk to head to the conference room, collecting his laptop, tablet, and a few files when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Once he sets up his place at the table, he slips the gold device from his pocket. 

There was only one person he was looking forward to seeing in another three hours, so of course a small smile appears on his face when their name appears on the screen.

Seojun

_ I’ll be late tonight. Go to bed first. _

His smile immediately drops from his face. His lips twist as he starts to bite the inside of his cheek, and before he can stop himself, he’s already typing out a furious message. His thumbs tap against the screen, wanting nothing more than rip him a new one, but when he’s three lines in, he realizes how stupid this was. He knew that his complaints were only going to fall on deaf ears, so he pressed backspace and dumped himself into a chair. It was increasingly aggravating to return to an empty apartment or to receive empty texts, but somehow Junmyeon continues to put up with it.

Junmyeon

_ Okay. Be safe and I love you. _

Junmyeon puts his phone away as his colleagues begin to file into the conference room, and he’s soon engrossed in the meeting. His phone doesn’t vibrate for the rest of the workday. 

  
  
  


The rest of his coworkers had called it a night a few hours, but Junmyeon has switched his contacts for his glasses as he continues working. He should have called it quits by now, but he can’t ignore the deadlines that are looming over his head. He can’t ignore the red flags waving in front of his face either. He pushes his glasses to the top of his head to rub at his tired eyes, and reaches into the desk drawer to use the eye drops that he kept there. He continues to work through the last few chapters of a new manuscript, and rests his chin in the palm of his hand while scratching across the paper with his red pen. He attempts to focus but his heavy eyelids are betraying him, but the sound of high heels clicking against the floor makes him sit up quickly and look towards the sound.

Rounding the corner is Irene Bae, Haneul’s CEO. 

Irene is a woman of elegance, and it shows in everything that she does. Her waist-length hair is always straightened or curled to perfection, and despite her small stature, she commands a room the moment that she steps into it. Jennie often mentions how Irene sounds like a woman who could narrate audiobooks with her soothing voice, but she also knew how to be the life of the party when she needed to be. Irene’s left ring finger sported a gorgeous ring that he knows cost more than he could imagine, but he’s never met her husband. 

She only talks about him on occasion, and the only thing that Junmyeon knows is that he recently purchased a new home for them in UN Village. 

“Junmyeon-ah, what are you still doing here?”

She’s using the authoritative voice that she only reserves when someone is doing something dumb, and she challenges them to say something stupid.

_ Shit _ .

“Um, I wanted to get a headstart on some stuff,” he attempts to be nonchalant. “You know, lighten the load for the team as much as possible.”

Irene eyes him cautiously. “Are you sure you’re not avoiding going home?”

Junmyeon doesn’t know where the hell she got her keen sense from, but he doesn’t like it. Although she’s his boss, the two had a relatively close relationship and he would even go as far as referring to her as a friend. Somehow, she’s always been able to call him out on his bullshit, and he has to admit that she’s the only person who does it without making him feel like crap.

He sheepishly adjusts his glasses. “Seojun is working late again.”

He swears that he can hear Irene’s teeth grind together. A slight wave of tension fills the space between them, and he knows that Irene is looking at him with a solemn look. Junmyeon uses the excuse of working late to get a headstart far too often for it to be a coincidence now. He would have found a way to walk around Seoul for a few hours to kill some time, but considering that the cold winter was still lingering about, he figures that staying at work late is better than freezing his cheeks. It sounds bad, but it doesn’t bother him as much as she thinks. 

Or, as much as he would like to believe.

To Junmyeon, working later means that he can spend fewer hours at home alone, and Seojun would be home sooner. Even now, as the clock strikes 9:12pm, by the time he goes home, makes himself something to eat, and takes a shower, he’ll be in bed and Seojun will be a few hours from coming home. His justification makes sense as long as he doesn’t mention it to someone else.

Someone like Irene.

“Junmyeon, it’s  _ Friday _ . You know I appreciate your hard work, but I want you to go home. Get some sleep and enjoy your weekend.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but he feels a slight burn behind his eyes.

Maybe it is time for him to call it a night.

Irene adjusts the collar of her coat and grabs the large Dior tote that she placed on one of the desks. “Go home, Junmyeon. I mean it.”

“I’ll see you on Monday.”

Junmyeon straightens his desk as best as he can before turning off the desk lamp and computer, sliding on his coat. Although the day isn’t as cold, nights have a tendency of dropping in temperature, so Junmyeon makes sure to dress accordingly. He packs his things down into his tote bag and leaves the building not too long after Irene. As he slips on a beanie, he gets the chance to wave goodbye to Irene as she slips into the backseat of a sleek black Tesla. Thanks to a touch of lighting, he catches a small glimpse of a man whose face is hidden, and the light dims just as Irene leans to close the space between them.

He makes his way home slowly, taking in the scenery. Growing up, Junmyeon hadn’t lived in the city until he went off to college, and he sometimes gets wrapped up in the lights and bustle despite the cool weather. He knows that he can’t walk the distance from his job to the apartment that he shares with Seojun, so after making it to the end of the street, Junmyeon hails a cab and takes a silent ride home.

His finger taps against the keypad to gain entry, and he can’t help the soft smile that appears on his feature. The couple decided for their code to be their anniversary, something that neither of them would forget. Junmyeon had been ecstatic to move into the apartment with the love of his life, and he especially likes the way that Seojun’s cologne wraps around him when he steps into the apartment.

Although they were only renting the spacious apartment in Gangnam, they’d already made the decision to buy a home together once they were married. Junmyeon was looking forward to the day, and was always tempted to look at which homes were for sale. They are both busy in their respective careers, though, so Junmyeon was in no rush. He knew that he was ready to marry Seojun if the ring on his finger was any indication, and couldn’t wait for the day that he finally became Park Junmyeon. 

Even the thought of it makes his cheeks burn.

He changes into his pajamas and towels at his hair after his shower while watching his ramyeon cook. He wasn’t as hungry as he thought he’d be, so the instant noodles and some rice would be enough to end his night. Junmyeon fills the otherwise silent space by finishing the episode of the drama that he had fallen asleep on. He’s been watching  _ Itaewon Class _ for a few days now after his coworker, Park Chanyeol, recommended it to him. He was still on episode two, but he likes it thus far. 

Junmyeon eats slowly, dumping the rice into the pot once he runs out of noodles. Whenever he would eat with Seojun, the older man would always get frustrated when he would do this, not understanding why he would do such a thing. Junmyeon was never one to waste good ramyeon broth, so he figures dumping rice into it was a good way of finishing it all. The memory makes Junmyeon chuckle, but his laughter dies down — it’s not the same without it actually happening.

The night ends early for him after washing his few dishes and slipping into bed. He scrolls through his Instagram, watching a couple of his friends’ stories and liking a few pictures before he gets bored and decides to call Seojun one last time. He figures that the least he could get out of him is a goodnight call.

He bites his lip as the phone rings once and then twice. “The person you are trying to reach—”

He groans and slaps the phone down onto the bedside table. He really has no ground to stand on if he gets upset, mostly because Seojun did tell him that he was going to be busy. He was hoping that he could hear his fiance’s voice at least for a little while before going to bed. He wanted to hear his voice for the first time that day.

  
  


Junmyeon wakes before his alarm, slighted by the fact that he’d woken up early on a Saturday. He groans and squeezes his eyes shut, curling in on himself and shivering at the cold air that lingers in the bedroom. He wants nothing more than to be able to sleep for at least an hour longer, but the chill in the room makes it nearly impossible. There’s a complaint on his lips, and he’s just about to let out a whine when he feels a solid figure press against his back.

The hairs on the back of his neck stand up when a kiss is pressed to the shell of his ear.

He stretches out his legs before curling them back in, loving the way that Seojun molds to his back. Junmyeon reaches behind him to gently brush his fingers in the male’s hair.

“Mm, Seojun,” he hums while rolling over to seek more warmth. “I missed you.”

Seojun kisses the top of his head and his forehead. “I missed you too.”

He opens his eyes again and looks up to face his fiance. Junmyeon attempts to lean in to kiss him, but he’s slapped with the strong scent of Soju. It makes his empty stomach turn, and he gently pushes away from him. His eyes shut for a minute, and he brushes his hair off of his forehead.

“H-Have you been drinking?”

Junmyeon doesn’t expect a heavy groan in response, and Seojun rubs his temples in annoyance. He knows that he just asked the wrong question, and he hates the way that it has changed the atmosphere around them. “Yah, why are you making such a fuss so early in the morning?”

He swallows. “I wasn’t making a fuss. I was just—”

“You’re always starting something with me Junmyeon,” Seojun scoffs. “Can’t we have a peaceful morning in bed without you looking for a reason to scold me? It’s getting on my nerves.”

Junmyeon sits up. “I’m not scolding you. What, is it a crime to ask a question?”

“What the fuck are you on? I never said it was a crime— what the fuck, Jun.” He watches as Seojun pushes himself out of bed, and Junmyeon draws his legs close to his chest. “Don’t do that shit. You pick fights with me and as soon as you hear something you don’t like you try to make me feel bad.”

“I’m not making you feel bad and I didn’t pick a fight! Like I said, I was asking a question.”

Seojun is already snatching his coat from where it was draped at the foot of the bed. “I’m leaving.”

Junmyeon’s arms unlace from around his legs and he scrambles to the end of the bed in an attempt to stop him. He manages to grip the back of Seojun’s shirt, tugging on it gently to make him stop. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He apologizes in a haste, and presses his lips together. If Irene or his friends were a fly on the wall, they’d call him pathetic. Junmyeon waits until Seojun finally turns around before he speaks again. “I’m sorry… please stay? I really,  _ really _ missed you last night.”

He bites his lower lip as he watches Seojun for a few moments. Slowly, his brows relax and the tension melts from his face with Junmyeon’s repeated apologies. This wasn’t all that uncommon, Junmyeon attempting to defuse a situation even if it wasn’t his fault. Seojun drops his coat back onto the bed before moving his hand to gently grip the back of Junmyeon’s neck while his thumb strokes his cheek. The scent of the Soju on his breath still makes Junmyeon’s stomach coil in on itself, but he knows better than to say anything more.

“How could I say no to a pretty thing like you, hm?”

Despite his better judgement, Junmyeon’s cheeks burn a deep shade of red. He lifts his chin to let their lips connect and Seojun gently nips at his lower lip. Junmyeon cringes at the mix of his morning breath and the alcohol on Seojun’s, but he allows himself to be pushed down onto the bed. Goosebumps rise onto his skin as Seojun slowly undresses him, and his skin is kissed by the chill in the air. Their morning is filled with soft breaths and warm touches, Junmyeon’s back arching away from the crumpled sheets and his fingers gently tugging on Seojun’s hair. 

He whines into the side of Seojun’s neck, dark bruises sucked onto his skin as he comes tumbling down from his high. As intimate as the morning had been, Junmyeon soon finds himself curled on his side and facing away from the bathroom. His frame is wrapped up underneath a blanket as the bedroom is filled with the sound of Seojun taking a shower. The steam is slowly seeping under the door and into the bedroom, but Junmyeon welcomes the warmth. He’s deep in his thoughts when the sound of his phone chiming pulls him back to reality.

Seojun

_ Don’t worry _ .

_ I’ll be there soon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, hello I'm Toni (as of 2 October 2020 I've decided to start going by my irl nickname)! This chapter was more of establishing things, but it will pickup soon!
> 
> I'm so excited to be posting my very first work onto AO3 and in the EXO fandom! I have been contemplating for a while, but finally decided to jump in head first. I love the ship of Junmyeon and Yixing, so I hope that I give them some justice and provide something interesting to the tags! 
> 
> I obtained a lot of inspo for this work from the Taiwanese drama Before We Get Married, but it's primarily focused on the infidelity and morally ambiguous characters. That being said, this doesn't mean that I condone cheating! I simply wanted to explore moral ambiguity and dilemmas that everyday people can face at times. Although he's not introduced in the first chapter, I do want to say that Yixing is a bit ... assertive, but I promise that it's not going to cross over into anything potentially triggering.
> 
> Since I can do what I want, Yixing is 6'2" and Junmyeon is 5'10", bye.


	2. two

A lump has been in Junmyeon’s throat since he read the text that clearly wasn’t for him. He remained curled on the bed as he watched Seojun emerge from the bathroom to get dressed. Seojun dressed and styled his hair perfectly, fussing over a small piece that wouldn’t stay in place. He sprays himself with the Dior cologne that Junmyeon had bought for him, and kisses Junmyeon’s forehead without so much of another word. 

Junmyeon was overwhelmed with the silence that followed Seojun leaving, so he decided to pull himself out of bed. Although his morning started on something of a sour note, he wasn’t going to let it spoil his weekend. Junmyeon, being as gullible as ever, wants nothing more than to trust Seojun. Sure, he is continuously brushed off to the side, but Seojun had never given him a reason not to.

It could have been a colleague or a friend.

After another thirty minutes of laying in bed, Junmyeon finally decides to get up and do something. He shoves the sheets into the washing machine and puts on a fresh set. He takes another shower both to warm up and to freshen up before he washes his face and blow dries his hair. He dresses comfortably for his day, deciding on a pair of black trousers, a black graphic tee, and a slightly oversized dark green knitted cardigan. He styles his honey colored bangs with a middle part, slightly curling the ends to get them out of his eyes. Before long, he slips on a pair of sneakers in the cabinet by the front door and grabs his bag, heading out of the door.

He spends the mid-morning running a few errands. He stops at the post office and makes a quick stop at the bank. He makes a pit stop for a small Iced Americano, and he stops into a stationary shop to see if anything new has been released. The store, Good Moon, has become one of Junmyeon’s favorite stores. He’s had a small obsession with stationary since being a Korean Language and Literature student, and always stops to see if there’s anything new he would like to add to his collection.

Junmyeon takes thirty minutes browsing around the store, collecting pastel colored sticky note packs and random pens that he _had_ to have. The cashier is busy ringing up his order when his phone vibrates.

Jongin

_Where the hell are you!?_

Junmyeon shoots off a quick text and thanks the cashier before leaving to hail a cab. He makes his way to the restaurant where he was supposed to be meeting his friends. Rooftop Kloud has easily become one of his favorite restaurants, and he especially loves coming with his friends. Originally this had been the place where Seojun took him on their first date, and Junmyeon had been in awe of the view. The restaurant had good food and even better drinks, and his frequency led him to meet him to meet the group of friends that he held dear.

Within a few months of getting to know each other and their personalities, they were planning and taking vacations with each other, and have grown closer since then. At times, Junmyeon refers to them more like family than friends since they’ve spent holidays with each other’s families over the last few years. Junmyeon was led to the rooftop behind the hostess with perfectly dyed grey hair, and it was Jongin who stood from his chair to greet him first.

“Myeonie’s here!” He announced, much to the chagrin of the other patrons.

Kim Jongin was a loud man, and had no problems getting in your face. Jongin had come from a poor family, but now works at a renowned teaching hospital as a registered nurse, so he has a bit of a habit of being a little boisterous due to his success. His personality could be a little overwhelming when you first meet him, but he also had a big heart and a silly laugh. It was easy for Jongin to make friends, and he liked to think of himself as something of the group’s de facto leader. No one dared to challenge him on that.

Junmyeon makes himself comfortable between Jongin and Lee Chungha. 

There’s an immediate stinging slap to his arm.

“Ouch!”

“Yah, there’s more where that comes from,” the small blonde huffs. “Where the hell have you been?”

“I’ve been working! Not all of us got lucky and ended up marrying a multi-millionaire.”

To say that Chungha lucked out in the relationship department would be a massive understatement. She married her longtime girlfriend, conglomerate chaebol Lee Sunmi after a highly publicized relationship and engagement. The two had gotten married at a lavish wedding in Bali, and Chungha looked every inch a princess while Sunmi stunned in a perfectly tailored tuxedo. Chungha embraced her role as a housewife, dressing as such and often hosting extravagant parties at her shared home with Sunmi. She wore shoes that donned red soles, there was never a piece of hair out of place, and she was often the first to slap her black credit card onto the table to pay for the meat when she was a little too tipsy.

“You still could have called, oppa. I’d send you texts all the time— was Seojun sucking the life out of you?”

Junmyeon’s jaw slacks. “Stop. I’m sorry, okay?”

She squints. “Apology accepted.”

The two share a laugh as the waitress returns with his drink, a Makgeolli Strawberry Cocktail. She also places a few appetizers on the table for the group to share. He watches his friends as they argue about some show that he definitely wasn’t watching, and munches on a few French fries as his friends shift the conversation to their plans for that evening.

Jongin claps loudly. “I can’t wait to get drunk tonight. You say your friend is rich, right Soo?”

Kyungsoo nearly chokes as he sips on his Johnnie Walker. “And what if he isn’t? What are you gonna do then?”

The shorter man with a deep voice is Do Kyungsoo, another member of the group. He works as a lawyer at a private firm in Seoul, and was always the one to bring the friends back down to earth when their imaginations got too big. Now, that wasn’t to say that Kyungsoo didn’t join in on the antics because he definitely had a habit of doing that as well— he just knew how to hide that side of him when with his friends, but he easily became the life of the party after he got a few drinks into his system.

“I’d still fuck him,” Jongin shrugs. “All of your friends are so hot.”

“You are the most vulgar man I have ever met,” Hwasa chimes in. “How are we even friends with you?”

Ahn Hwasa was a woman who played no games. She currently works at a skincare company in the content development department, and was constantly bringing new face masks and serums for the group to try. Hwasa, much like the rest of them, liked to have fun whenever they went out, but she absolutely despised obnoxiousness. It makes Junmyeon wonder how she was friends with Jongin in the first place.

Her tone is jokingly disgusted as she talks to Jongin, as they’ve all gotten used to him and his peculiar manner of speech. Junmyeon’s brow arches as he dusts salt from his fingers with a napkin. He didn’t know what the plans were, and he had no clue who Kyungsoo’s friend was either— this is what he gets for not answering Chungha’s texts, he presumes.

“Wait, who’s your friend?”

“Zhang Yixing,” Kyungsoo sets his empty glass aside. “He’s getting transferred back from Shanghai so he wants to celebrate. Leave it to Yixing to want to have a party.”

Junmyeon repeats the name silently, and a foreign feeling tingles on his tongue.

“Are you coming tonight, Myeon?”

He averts his attention to Hwasa. “Sure, I can come. I don’t have any plans tonight.”

Chungha gasps loudly. “Oh my God, oppa! You should _totally_ come. We all haven’t partied together in a long time. I’ve missed dancing with you.”

Junmyeon chuckles softly, and his cheeks burn pink. “Okay, okay. I’ll come.”

  
  
  
  
  


Later that night after Junmyeon took a nap and received yet another text from Seojun that he was going to be getting home late, Junmyeon made his way to the address that Kyungsoo sent to him. The music coming from inside of the club was loud from the moment that he pulls up in his taxi, and with the way that the people are dressed while waiting outside, then he’s sure that it wasn’t a cheap place to rent for a night. 

He thought it was a little much to be celebrating a return to Seoul at a club, but he assumes that it’s probably been a long time since he went to Shanghai. With his hair styled off of his forehead for the first time in a long time, he was a bit nervous as it had been a while since he went out to a club. He decided to dress as best he could as he was never sure of what to wear to a club, deciding on a pair of black skinny jeans with a rip across the right thigh and a black silk printed shirt from Saint Laurent. A pair of black patent-leather boots tie the outfit together.

Junmyeon walks up to where Chungha is waiting outside. “Oppa, come on! You’re the last one here!”

Chungha instantly loops her arm with his, and they’re let in by the bouncer. He trails a bit as they enter the overwhelmingly loud club, weaving carefully through dancing and drunken bodies. The blue lighting casts a strangely calm ambiance over the partygoers as the duo head towards the back of the clubs where the rest of his friends had been waiting.

“Wow, Myeon, you look so good!” Hwasa grins as she approaches, wrapping him up in a tight hug. “You should wear silk more often.”

Jongin comes over, and instantly thrusts a drink into his hand. “It’s the _job_ , H. He wears sweaters and cardigans like some soft boy from a webtoon.”

“You say that like you don’t wear scrubs every day,” Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “Did you come to talk about my clothes or did we come to party?”

“Oh, fuck yes!”

Soon, the friends are indulging in drinking their cares away for about an hour. Junmyeon is able to forget all about the text message that he saw earlier that morning, and entangles himself with his friends as they join the crowd of dancing bodies. There’s some popular song playing throughout the club, and Junmyeon stays close to his friends so as to not give off the wrong impression. Granted, he is wearing an engagement ring. It’s been a long time since he was able to release his inhibitions and truly relax without much of a care in the world, so he drinks down a cocktail while Chungha dances with Hwasa and Jongin is tangled with someone.

The group has separated from each other, so Junmyeon takes this as a chance to slip out to the bathroom. The music faces as he heads down the hallway, and the slightly cooler air sticks to his slightly sweaty frame. There’s a couple making out languidly in the corner, the woman’s leg hiked up against the man’s waist and her arm draped around his neck. With the way that they’re dressed, Junmyeon wonders if they’re a celebrity couple looking for a simple night of fun.

He’s about to push open the door to the bathroom when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Junmyeon moves out of the way as someone is coming out, and he leans against the wall while a soft smile appears on his features when he sees it’s from Seojun.

Seojun

_Headed home early. Have fun tonight._

He had been a little surprised that Seojun was going home before him, but Junmyeon wasn’t going to question it. In his inebriated state, he felt warm all over and like a giddy school child. He quickly types out a reply before shoving the phone back into his pocket. He watches the moving silhouettes separated from him by a ten foot hallway, and he wonders what his friends are up to.

“Not having fun?”

Junmyeon startles a bit when he’s pulled from his thoughts, and he blinks a few times to focus. When he looks up, he comes face to face with the most handsome man he’s ever seen. His tanned skin glows under the soft lighting, and his inky black hair is styled perfectly out of his face. There’s a look of concern on his features, and Junmyeon is sure that he’s staring at him as if he were a statue in an art museum. From where he is standing, Junmyeon can see that the man’s hair is a bit wavy at the back, and it has the perfect amount of volume. The man is dressed casually, but still manages to stun as he’s wearing an all black outfit that’s complemented by a slightly oversized Valentino emblazoned denim jacket. 

Junmyeon blinks rapidly. “What?”

The man grins, showing off a perfectly placed dimple in his right cheek and the straightest teeth he’s ever seen. “I was asking if you weren’t having a good time.”

His head shakes. “No, no. It’s not that— I was just taking a quick break. It’s all a little overwhelming.”

The man moves closer as the kissing couple slips past. Junmyeon unintentionally takes in a whiff of the man’s cologne, and is instantly mesmerized. He presses his lips together and swipes his hands against his jeans.

“Don’t go out as much?”

Junmyeon’s head shakes again. “My job keeps me a little busy these days. I think my friends party enough for all of us.”

This earns a laugh from the stranger. Junmyeon doesn’t know why he’s being so open with him, but he’s sure that it has to do with the cocktails swirling around his system. He sinks his teeth down into his lower lip as he looks up at the man, and it’s in their close proximity he can tell that there’s a considerable height difference between the two. Junmyeon’s forehead aligns with the man’s nose, and he doesn’t know why a sudden feeling of intimidation washes over him. He clears his throat quietly and he feels his cheeks warm.

“You’re cute when you blush.”

Junmyeon’s eyes nearly fall out of his head. It’s been a long time since he had gotten a compliment from someone else, and even something as small as being called ‘cute’ made his heart flutter. It’s been a long time since he received a compliment from Seojun, so the stranger calling him cute was enough to make his cheeks flame darker. Junmyeon doesn’t take his eyes off of the taller male, and notices when the man’s eyes flicker down to his lips. 

“I-I’m sorry. I must be holding you up from your friends,” Junmyeon finally speaks. 

It’s the man’s turn to shake his head, and his shoulders roll into a nonchalant shrug. “Nah, they’ll be alright waiting a little longer. I think they said that some asshole’s having a party so they probably got wrapped up in that.”

Junmyeon’s brow quips. “I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks that party is pretentious.”

“Oh?” Junmyeon steps a little closer when the crowd begins cheering to hear the man better. “What makes you say that?”

Junmyeon’s eyes roll. “Come on, who _really_ needs to rent out an entire club just to have a party? A _welcome home_ party at that. A house party with a lot less people would have made more sense, and it would have been a lot cheaper.”

“You’ve got a point,” the man chuckles. “I’ll make sure to tell him that.”

The conversation between them dies peacefully, and Junmyeon feels his breath hitch in his throat. He hadn’t realized how close the two were to one another, and Junmyeon can hear his heart beating in his ears. He bites the tip of his tongue, and is frozen in place when the man brushes a few loose tendrils of hair out of his face. Junmyeon’s breathing speeds up then, and with their faces a few inches away from touching, his senses finally kick in.

Junmyeon presses his hands against the man’s chest, and turns his face downward to avoid the kiss that was bound to happen. He feels weirdly bad that he rejected him like that, but Junmyeon knew better than to do this. 

“I’m sorry. I-I gave you the wrong impression. I should go.”

“Wait—”

Without so much as a goodbye, Junmyeon pulls away from the man and makes a beeline towards the exit. His breaths are short and choppy, and the heat of the club is sticking to him uncomfortably. He doesn’t stop walking when he hears Hwasa’s voice calling out to him, and he doesn’t even know how he made it outside without tripping over his feet. He feels like he’s drenched in sweat, and although it was rude of him to push the people around him, Junmyeon needs to get out of the club before he has a panic attack.

Once outside of the club, Junmyeon is thankful to be alone save for the bouncer. His hands land on his knees as he takes in a few deep breaths. What on earth possessed him enough to make him nearly kiss someone that definitely was _not_ his fiance? God, he feels like an asshole for even letting himself get caught up like that. There’s no way that he let a few cocktails cloud his judgement like that, and he wants nothing more than to go home.

He manages to get a cab, and slips into the car after waiting for about fifteen minutes with the bouncer. During the ride, he sends a message in the group chat to let them know that he wasn’t feeling well and decided to end the night early. He feels bad for lying, but he also knows that he could never admit to why he was actually leaving. Once he arrives home, Junmyeon untucks his shirt and toes off his shoes, pushing them aside before moving further into the apartment. 

Junmyeon sheds out of his clothes and puts on a random set of clothes. He does this quietly as Seojun is sleeping, and uses a makeup wipe to clean his face before sliding into bed. He visibly shakes when Seojun wordlessly rolls over and wraps his arms around him. Junmyeon is uncharacteristically stiff as he rests on the bed, and he finally manages to relax when he feels Seojun’s warm lips press against his jawline. 

He turns over into Seojun’s arms, and instantly feels them lace around his waist. Seojun kisses his forehead, and Junmyeon feels Seojun slowly coming out of his sleep state. He feels bad for waking him up, but the feeling of his arms around him makes him feel at ease. Seojun’s warm hand comes up to gently cup his cheek.

“Are you alright?” Seojun’s voice is laced with sleep.

“Yeah, I think the party was just a little too much. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

He can see Seojun shake his head in the dark. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Junmyeon closes the space between them and kisses Seojun gently. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	3. three

“Look alive, everyone!” 

As always, Irene’s expensive heels announce her presence before she rounds the corner. She enters the open-plan workspace with a grin on her face and her hands clasped together. “Ms. Lee will be here within the next hour, and I expect for _everyone_ to be on their best behavior.”

She shoots a slightly pointed look at Jennie.

“Yes ma’am!”

The entire office has been abuzz since it was announced that Jieun would be coming by to sign her contract. Jennie was sure to vibrate right out of her seat from excitement, and despite Seulgi attempting to come off as nonchalant, Junmyeon could tell that she was looking forward to even a glimpse of the critically acclaimed author. Junmyeon chuckles softly when he catches Jennie patting down her hair from the corner of his eye. He has thrown himself into work for the last few days, even popping in on Sunday in an attempt to clear his mind. 

He knows that nearly kissing a stranger shouldn’t be lingering over his head _that_ much. It hadn’t happened, even if he had been in the space (and mindset) to do so. He was glad that his senses finally kicked in so he was able to get himself out of trouble, but he couldn’t ignore the pool of guilt that continues to build in his frame.

At least he knows that he’ll never see the man again.

Junmyeon decides to focus on what’s at hand— welcoming Jieun to the Haneul family without issue. Since he got to work that morning, Junmyeon has buried himself in his work without a break to ensure that he was ready for the conference. He reads over the documents that he was planning to give Jieun about their editing process, and when he sees that it’s error free, he prints it and places the documents into a Haneul branded folder. Junmyeon decides to reward himself with a cup of sweet cream cold brew.

While he’s in the breakroom, Junmyeon fills a glass cup with ice and grabs a metal straw from the drawer. He’s pulling his unsweetened cold brew and sweet cream creamer from the fridge when he’s startled by Byun Baekhyun, Haneul’s top publicist.

Baekhyun was known for taking authors and making them feel like movie stars or idols. Within six months of signing to Haneul, Baekhyun would have everyone talking about them in some way. Whether it be via media outlets, social media, or have a guest segment for them on some of the best shows in Korea. Their books would skyrocket to the top bookseller lists instantaneously. Junmyeon has to give credit where it’s due, and Baekhyun was beyond good at his job. The only thing that Junmyeon dislikes about him is his personality— he had a snide way of speaking to him whenever the two crossed paths. To Junmyeon, he hoped that one day the two would get past their animosity, but it was evident that Baekhyun didn’t feel the same way.

It makes sense, considering that Baekhyun is Seojun’s ex-boyfriend.

Junmyeon inhales softly in an attempt to fake that he’s not startled by the man’s presence, and moves back to the waiting glass to prepare his drink. He can hear that Baekhyun is on a whispered phone call, so hopefully this means that he can quickly assemble his drink and leave without incident. He’s pouring the creamer into the glass when a loud clap cuts through the silence.

“Well, well, _well_. If it isn’t the stunning Kim Junmyeon.”

He can hear the sarcasm dripping from Baekhyun’s tongue, and he tries his best to ignore it. “Good morning, Baekhyun.” He bows his head slightly to be polite. 

“Yah, Junmyeon-ssi. Is that the way to respond when someone compliments you?”

Junmyeon sips his drink. “That wasn’t a compliment and you know it.”

The slightly shorter male steps closer to Junmyeon, promptly invading his personal space. He can see that Baekhyun has a light shimmer on his eyelids, and had he not had a murderous look in his eye, Junmyeon would have complimented him. Although Junmyeon is only a touch taller than Baekhyun, the man exudes a powerful aura, and it was one that no one could ignore no matter how hard they try. Junmyeon averts his attention for a short second before Baekhyun backs off and tilts his head.

“No, it was! I promise. You always look _so_ good,” Baekhyun gasps dramatically. “The gold of your engagement ring is _really_ complimenting your skin tone today. It would be even nicer had it not been the _exact_ same ring that Seojun bought me for our second anniversary.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know if the truth is somewhere in what Baekhyun said, but it doesn’t mean that his words don’t sting. His weakening stoic demeanor finally falters. The ice in the glass clinks unceremoniously due to his shaking hand, and he places it on the counter to avoid spilling it. “You’re lying,” Junmyeon finally says.

Baekhyun shakes his head and his eyes feign innocence. “I really wish I was, but I think I have a picture of it somewhere,” he pauses. “A Cartier ring is exactly what Seojun would get for someone he loves— matter of fact, for someone he loves for the _moment_. Before you know it, he’ll be stolen from you by some wide eyed slut just like yourself.”

Junmyeon swallows thickly. “I didn’t—”

“Don’t even deny it, Junmyeon-ssi. You’ve been playing your little innocent act for far too long, and I don’t believe for a second that you met him by chance. You start working here and suddenly he’s breaking up with me? Then, in a little less than a month you’re openly kissing him in the lobby like some whore waiting for a fix,” Baekhyun lowers his voice. “You may have gotten the ring that was supposed to be mine, but he’ll leave you too. Mark my words.”

Junmyeon’s breathing returns to normal from the shallow breaths he'd taken when Baekhyun finally leaves the breakroom. He inhales rapidly, turning to grip the countertop in an attempt to ground himself. Junmyeon was having a terrible afternoon when Seojun came to pick him up on that day in question. He was still only an editorial assistant at that time, buried under a stack of tasks that the editorial team didn’t want to do themselves. On top of that, he was sent out to get complicated coffee orders for six people.

He had only vented his frustration to Seojun, but he hadn’t expected for him to show up offering him at least a ride to the coffee shop instead of leaving him to walk. Junmyeon only kissed him because he didn’t know how else to thank him, but he didn’t think that Baekhyun had seen them. This wasn’t the only instance that Baekhyun liked to hold over his head. 

Junmyeon dumps his coffee into the sink, no longer in the mood to drink it, and left the breakroom after getting himself together. Luckily, Jennie and Seulgi have gone to lunch, so he’s able to wallow at his desk for a while before the meeting starts.

  
  
  
  


He manages to push the confrontation out of his head and swallow the lump in his throat by the time it’s time for the meeting to start. Junmyeon collects everything that he’ll need, ranging from extra pens, notepads, and the documents for Jieun and her lawyer. They’re expected in a little less than thirty minutes, so he heads off to the conference room to set up. Irene prided herself on being one of the few publishing houses that offered total transparency with their authors when it came to them signing into the family, and it was one of the many reasons why Junmyeon loves working there. 

He pushes open the glass doors, mind focused on quickly setting up. Usually, it’d be their interns Chaeryeong and Jaemin who would set up for the meeting, but he relieved them of their duties to get an early lunch. Besides, he was in desperate need of _anything_ to distract him from the intrusive thoughts swimming around his head. Junmyeon is getting ready to set down the papers when a figure makes him nearly jump out of his skin. He pulls the stack of items closer to his chest as if that would provide protection. 

The figure is turning as Junmyeon bends into a bow. “I-I’m sorry. I thought the room was—”

“You tend to apologize a lot, don’t you?”

Junmyeon shoots up into a standing position, his hair fluttering against his forehead when he hears the familiar voice. The only difference is that it’s not loud to be heard over the pulsing music filling a club. Instead of being dressed as casually as he had been only a few nights ago, now wearing a crisp Tom Ford that was perfectly tailored to fit his form. Junmyeon clears his throat in an attempt to interrupt his own staring. 

The man approaches him and takes the papers from his hands, placing them on the table. 

“I, um— what are you doing here?” Junmyeon asks when he finds his voice again.

“I’m here for work. A friend needed me to fill in for him,” he leans against the table casually. “I didn’t think I’d run into you, though. It’s very rude of you to have left like that.”

Junmyeon’s cheeks flame. “I’m sorry,” he starts distributing the papers and items to distract himself. “The alcohol was clouding my judgement. I gave you the wrong impression that night.”

“The wrong impression?”

“I’m engaged.”

“So, all it takes is a few drinks and you’re ready to kiss someone else?”

“That’s not what I—”

“That’s what I’m hearing. Are you saying that you _didn’t_ want to kiss me?”

Junmyeon swallows. “Yes.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

The sound of the door opening thankfully makes the man drop the conversation, and Junmyeon lets out a soft breath. Kim Jisoo, the receptionist, is opening the door for Jieun who is followed by Irene, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol. Jieun’s face lights up when she spots the taller man.

“Yixing-ssi, I didn’t think you’d be here. What happened to Siwon-ssi?”

“His wife wanted to go to the hospital. They think the baby is coming sooner than expected.”

Junmyeon visibly chokes from his place and feels his heart drop right into his shoes. This was Yixing? Kyungsoo’s friend? His heart pounds in his chest as Irene instructs for everyone to take their seats after exchanging introductions and pleasantries. He sinks down into a seat beside Chanyeol, and makes sure to avoid Yixing’s gaze throughout the meeting. Embarrassment is slowly rising into his frame when he thinks back to that night at the club, and he wants nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. 

“Junmyeon-ssi?” 

He snaps out of his thoughts when he realizes that it’s Jieun speaking to him. He bows his head in a silent apology, and Baekhyun snickers.

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

Jieun smiles politely. “I was wondering if it’s okay for me to reach out to you when I’m feeling iffy about something. My last agency always kept everything a secret.”

“Yes, of course,” he sits up in his seat. “We like to keep our authors in the loop when we’re editing their work, and we especially reach out if there are any major suggestions or changes that we may have in mind. We don’t want to reconstruct or destroy your vision. We want to keep your authenticity over anything else.”

Jieun turns to Yixing, and the two seem to communicate through their eyes before she turns back with a grin stretching across her face. “I think I’m ready to make Haneul my new home! I’ll have Yixing look over the fine print before I officially sign anything, but I love everything that you all have told me. The last thing I want is to be royally screwed over like I was at my last agency.”

Irene beams. “I’m so happy to hear that!”

Junmyeon bows to everyone once he, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun are excused from the meeting and Irene finalizes everything with Jieun and Yixing. His back feels hot as he’s sure that Yixing is looking at him, so he exits quickly with his things pressed securely against his chest. He bids goodbye to Chanyeol as he’s about to head back to his desk, but is cut off by a sharp quip from Baekhyun. 

“Don’t forget what I told you, alright.”

Junmyeon’s eyes shoot down to his feet as Baekhyun leaves the hallway. “Are you alright?” Chanyeol asks just as his phone rings.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

  
  
  
  


His work day finally comes to a close when he sees that the clock on his computer is ticking closer to seven in the evening. Despite the trouble that he’d run into at the hands of Baekhyun and unexpectedly seeing Yixing again, he finally had something to look forward to when Seojun texted him to say that he’d pick him up from work. It had been a month or two since Seojun was the one to initiate plans for them, so Junmyeon was full of excitement as he took the elevator down to the lobby. They hadn’t planned for anything fancy, only deciding that they’d get takeout and watch a movie, but it was exactly what Junmyeon needed after such a stressful day. 

He leaves the elevator and passes through the security gate when he spots Seojun, but the look on his face isn’t what Junmyeon expected to see. His paced footsteps slow, and he waits with bated breath as Seojun approaches him. He doesn’t like the energy that’s radiating off of him, and Junmyeon feels himself shrinking.

“Are you about to tell me something I don’t want to hear?”

Seojun sighs. “Something came up at work. You’ll have to catch a cab home.”

Junmyeon visibly deflates and grips the strap of his bag. “Why did you come here to tell me that? Did you just want to upset me in person?”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what? You were the one who said that we’d finally have a night together. You and me, no work interruptions and you’re _always_ breaking your promises with me.”

“I know what I said, Jun.”

Junmyeon knows that he should stop when he sees Seojun’s jaw flex, but his mouth is working faster than his emotions can stop him. “Why are you cancelling on me again? What’s so important that you can’t ignore it for one night and spend it with me instead? Are you getting some sick kick out of making me more upset after an already stressful day!?” 

“Lower your tone,” Seojun all but growls, and Junmyeon presses his lips together. “Catch a cab. I’ll be home later.”

Junmyeon is frozen in his spot when he feels a slight burning at the backs of his eyes, and Seojun makes his way out of the building. He follows and nearly trips over his own feet as he does so, calling after him. The cool air nips at his face and it stings his eyes, but it’s almost as if Seojun is purposefully ignoring him as he slips into the car and is peeling away from the curb as if he hadn’t heard Junmyeon calling his name. 

His jaw ticks as he watches the car blend into traffic, and he tries his best to keep the tears from falling. All he wanted was one night with his fiance— was that too much to ask for? To finally be put first for once and not be cast aside? He scrubs a hand against his cheek when a stray tear spills, and he shoves his hands down into his coat’s pockets as he makes his way down the sidewalk. The walk home would be tiring, but it would feel better than the tangled web of emotions that he was experiencing right now.

Junmyeon walks for about ten minutes before approaching the edge of the curb to hail a cab. He steps away though, when a black Porsche Panamera rolls into view, and he shades his eyes from the nearly blinding headlights. Junmyeon moves away from the car, knowing that this was _not_ a cab, but the passenger side window rolling down makes him stop.

His eyes widen when he sees it’s Yixing sitting behind the wheel.

“What are you doing here? I thought you would have been gone by now.”  
  


“I was on my way home when I saw you. Do you need a ride?”

Junmyeon shakes his head. “N-No, a cab is fine.”

Yixing doesn’t say anything else, but instead turns on his hazard lights before stepping out of the vehicle. A wave of discomfort washes over Junmyeon as he’s unsure of what the man is about to do. “What are you doing?”

He pulls open the passenger door. “Get in the car, Junmyeon-ssi.”

“No! You could hurt me, and I’ve only known you for a few hours at best.”

“Junmyeon-ssi, don’t you think we should get to know each other?”

He attempts to shut the door as his answer, but Yixing is evidently much stronger than him. Has he always been this weak? His eyebrows furrow, and he looks up at the taller man.

“Get in the car.” There’s an authoritative lilt in his tone, and Junmyeon feels something drop in his lower stomach.

“I’m not getting in the car, Yixing-ssi. You could… you could eat me for all I know.”

Yixing chuckles. “As nice as I’m sure that would be for you, we haven’t known each other for that long.”

Junmyeon’s jaw slacks, and he feels heat creeping onto his cheeks. His heart is beating within his ribcage, and he’s once again frozen under the fiery gaze of Zhang Yixing. His fingers tighten around his bag’s strap once more, but he finally looks at him. His grip tightens around the bag’s strap once more, but he’s not necessarily _afraid_ of Yixing. If anything, he doesn’t understand how someone can be that attractive, but also make all of the blood in his body shoot into his head. Junmyeon took care of himself, and he liked to think that he was an attractive man, but Yixing was on another level.

Finally, after a few more minutes of pondering, Junmyeon slips into the car.

He’s been in luxury vehicles before, but they all feel weirdly unwelcoming and as if he’s not worthy of even looking at one. The seat is warm and although he made no move to adjust it, the seat molds to him as if it were made for him. His eyes scan over the black interior of the car, taking in all of the fancy modifications when the driver side door opening pulls him out of his thoughts. Yixing clicks on his seatbelt without another word, and pulls away from the sidewalk with ease. Junmyeon places his bag on the floor and puts on his seatbelt as well, digging his teeth down into his lower lip. It’s then that he realizes he hadn’t given Yixing his address, but he opens his mouth to say something else.

“Can we…” his voice trails. “Can we drive for a while? I don’t feel like going home right now.”

Yixing nods, and turns up the soft R&B on the radio to fill the otherwise silent space. It’s a song by Colde that he hasn’t heard before, but he likes it. He watches as the lights of Seoul pass by in a soft blur, and rests his chin in the palm of his hands. His thoughts are continuously racing, but they’re gratefully interrupted when Yixing speaks up.

“Why don’t you want to go home?”

Junmyeon sits back. “I just… I just didn’t didn’t want to be there right now. Why did you pull over?”

“It looked as if you weren’t having a good day, and cab drivers can be assholes at night. To tell you the truth, Junmyeon-ssi, I’ve taken an interest in you.”

His face burns pink, and he falls into a short coughing fit. He gently pats his chest in an attempt to calm himself down, and clears his throat. “Yixing… you know that we can only be friends.”

“Who said I was asking for anything more?”

Junmyeon’s cheeks flush, and he averts his attention down to his lap. Yixing laughs, and a pout forms on his face. The taller man was an interesting character, and Junmyeon would be lying if he said that he wasn’t interesting. He drives in that attractive way that people tend to do— his left hand grips the top of the steering wheel as the other rests on the console between their seats. At the tips of his fingers in the cup holder is a half finished Americano. Yixing’s voice isn’t ridiculously deep, but his laughter is airy and reflects in his eyes. Junmyeon returns his attention to the scenery before him in an attempt to stop himself from staring.

“Can you take me home now?”

Yixing puts the address into the GPS and they’re soon making the familiar drive to his apartment building. He doesn’t know how he feels right now, and he doesn’t want to go into a dark apartment, but he can’t avoid it. Yixing was able to provide him with a little bit of companionship before he had to go home, so he’s appreciative of that. He keeps his attention on the passing scenery before the car slows down when it pulls up in front of the building. There’s a few cars in front of them, so Junmyeon grasps his bag to get out. He wants nothing more than to go into the apartment and bury himself under the sheets of the cold bed. 

“Thank you for the ride.” He slips out and closes the door behind him, but he takes a double take when he sees a valet approaching. It’s then that he realizes that Yixing had gotten out of the car as well.

“Take good care of her, yeah?” 

The young valet nods. “As always, Mr. Zhang.”

Junmyeon watches the interaction with wide eyes, and he’s speaking before his brain can tell him to shut up. “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing? I asked you to drive me home, not follow me into my building. What kind of pervert are you?”

Yixing’s brows furrow, but he chuckles heartily. “Junmyeon-ssi, I’m not following you. I live here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update because I love this story so much! I haven't said it enough, but thank you to everyone that has commented and given kudos thus far! It really helps me with writing the next chapter, and thank ya'll so much for nearly 50 hits! We're only three chapters in and I have a lot more up my sleeve for Sulay, but this means the world to me! 
> 
> See ya'll in the next update!


	4. four

Junmyeon blinks and it’s the weekend again.

There’s a dull ache in his lower back thanks to Seojun thinking he needed to apologize for three nights in a row with rough sex. He never officially apologized for cancelling their plans, but instead slipped into their bed and woke Junmyeon up with kisses against his neck. Junmyeon didn’t enjoy himself and he was still annoyed with Seojun, but he thought this would make him feel better. Of course it didn’t, and he half heartedly returned Seojun’s kiss goodbye when he left just a couple hours prior. It’s funny.

Seojun can keep his promises with his friends and coworkers, but can’t do the same with his fiance.

Junmyeon laughs bitterly at the way he seemingly has to pull teeth for an  _ ounce  _ of Seojun’s attention. He’s continuously giving Seojun every bit of himself, and he doesn’t know how much more he’ll be able to give. Even with all of the problems that they have, constantly fighting or Junmyeon being left alone, he doesn’t know if he could bring himself to leave.

When they crossed paths four years ago at that restaurant, Junmyeon had been new to the feelings that he was experiencing. While in college, Junmyeon didn’t have time to date. He had been accepted to college on an academic scholarship, so only his tuition was covered. In terms of housing and basic necessities, he had to pick up a late shift at a local convenience store to make ends meet. During the day, he attended his classes and went to his social clubs, but at night he worked at the convenience store until the early hours of the morning.

Once he graduated and moved to Seoul, Junmyeon immediately started to look for work. He took on the editorial assistant position at Haneul only seven months after moving, and it had been exactly what he needed to move into a spacious studio. He finally had time to be social, so when he met Seojun one afternoon at some swanky restaurant with Jongin, he initially struggled with getting over his initial shyness. To put it simply, Junmyeon wasn’t experienced in anything outside of kissing, and Seojun was his first boyfriend.

Seojun gave Junmyeon the worldly experience that he has now. He took him on trips, took him to restaurants he wouldn’t have ever been able to afford, but in those same years, Seojun seems to have changed for the worse. Ever since he proposed a year ago and obtained his position at the bank, Junmyeon wonders if he’s even a priority anymore.

He cooks by himself, and eats by himself.

He’s lucky if Seojun sleeps in the same bed as him for more than six hours. 

To put it simply, Junmyeon is stressed. He doesn’t want to give up on his relationship, but he’s emotionally and physically drained. He constantly puts on a brave face whenever he’s around his friends, but he wonders if they’re catching on. Junmyeon thinks it’s better to deal with their problems now instead of when they’re married, but that makes him sound dumb, doesn’t it?

He spends the better part of the morning lounging around on the couch as he doesn’t have plans on leaving the apartment. The oversized tee shirt swallows his frame, and helps him appear as small as he felt. He buries himself under a blanket as the drama playing on the television is watching him more than he’s watching it. Junmyeon sits up with an annoyed huff when he hears the doorbell chime throughout the apartment. He kicks his legs out in frustration and stands from the couch with the blanket wrapped around him before he goes to answer the door.

He should really make a habit of checking the camera.

Junmyeon pushes the door open, but he shrieks and snatches it back when he sees that it’s Yixing standing on the other side of the door. The doorbell rings again, and Junmyeon takes a few steps back to look at the camera. Even though he can only see Yixing and not vice versa, he feels as though the man’s eyes are piercing his soul. He looks down at his attire and wonders if he should change, but he decides to not keep the man waiting. He takes a few steady breaths and tosses the blanket over the back of a nearby chair while attempting to brush down a few stray pieces of hair.

He presses the intercom button. “What are you doing here?’

“Open the door, Junmyeon-ssi.”

“Not until you tell me why you’re here.”

Yixing sighs. “I came to see you,  _ duh _ . I don’t know your fiance.”

Junmyeon’s face scrunches at his quip. “You’re not funny.”

“Your tone says otherwise. Open the door.”

Junmyeon audibly whines but obliges, opening the door once more to let the older man in. He feels weird, though. Although he’s letting Yixing into the place that he shares with his fiance, Junmyeon stresses over the few dishes in the sink, the blanket tossed haphazardly on the chair, and the bowl of half-finished microwave ramen on the coffee table. He unconsciously tugs on the hem of his shirt, kind of wishing that he changed out of his shorts and into a pair of sweatpants instead. 

He pats down his hair once more.

“Aw,” Yixing’s voice cuts the silence. “Are you trying to make yourself pretty for me?”

“N-No, I was…  _ nevermind  _ what I was doing! What are you doing here, and how did you find out where I live?”

“It’s not that hard getting that information from the receptionist, Junmyeon-ssi. Besides, are we not allowed to hang out just because you’re engaged to someone else? That sounds weird.”

“Why would you want to hang out with me? We don’t even know if we have anything in common.”

Yixing moves further into the apartment. “Don’t you think we should find out if we do?”

Junmyeon bites his lip as he’s unsure of what to say, and he sees Yixing roll his eyes playfully. His heart just about falls out of his ass, as that simple gesture had probably been one of the hottest things he had never seen a man do. His heart rate speeds up, and he turns away because he knows that his face is flushed. 

Yixing leans a hip against the kitchen island and Junmyeon speaks up. “Why would you want to hang out with  _ me _ , though? I’m not all that interesting.” 

“Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I’m at home on a Saturday afternoon. The most interesting thing I’ll do today is take a shower.”

This draws laughter from Yixing, and it makes his dimple stand out. “I think you’re more interesting than you let on.”

Junmyeon is sure that he’s face has turned beet red, and he turns away in an attempt to hide his face. Was he openly flirting with Yixing or was his brain trying to trick him? He feels weird, standing awkwardly in his kitchen with him. It would be rude to kick him out so suddenly, so he decides to offer him a seat on the couch and a glass of water. 

It’s then that he notices Yixing’s attire. From the last few times that he’s seen him, Yixing is always dressed so well. His style reminds him of what he would see on the various Instagram accounts that he follows. Junmyeon has continuously tried to emulate the style, but even when he  _ thinks  _ he has the confidence to do so, one look in the mirror and he’s changing back into a trusty pair of jeans and a sweater. Yixing, on the other hand, dresses like he just finished a shoot with  _ Esquire _ or  _ GQ _ . For once, his black hair isn’t styled off of his forehead and instead hangs down into his eyes with perfect little waves to the tendrils.

He looks strangely  _ soft  _ and Junmyeon can’t tell if he likes it or not.

“Do you see something you like?”

Junmyeon blinks and stops chewing at his cheeks when he realizes that he’s been caught staring. “I-I… I wasn’t—”

“Are you about to lie to me, Junmyeon-ssi?”

The hint of faux innocence in Yixing’s eyes makes his eyes sparkle, and Junmyeon’s face goes hot for the millionth time that day. Junmyeon grabs his blanket as a weak means of defense, and covers his head with it out of embarrassment. He can hear Yixing cooing at him, and he covers his ears.

“ _ Stop _ . You’re making me blush.”

Suddenly, the blanket lifts and Yixing is staring him right in the eyes. “So, you admit that I make you blush?” He reaches forward and gently pinches Junmyeon’s cheek.

“Uh—”

“Choose your words carefully, pretty boy.”

Junmyeon’s breath is caught in his throat, and he finds himself trapped in a staring contest with the other man. His eyes trail from Yixing’s rosy toned lips, to the gold cuff chain earring on his right ear, and back to the eyes that haven’t left his face. He sucks his lower lip between his teeth and he’s sure he’s physically vibrating when Yixing reaches up to pull the lip free. He feels hot underneath the blanket, but there’s also a strange feeling building in his frame. “You—”

“Hush.” 

Yixing grips the back of his neck and pulls him in close, their lips pressing together in a searing kiss. For a minute, Junmyeon is sure that he looks like a drama lead, eyes wide like a gaping fish. He’s stiff, and he places his hands against Yixing’s chest to push him away, but they snake around his neck to pull him in closer. Their lips move together with ease, and they probably look like two children with the way they’re kissing underneath a blanket. Junmyeon feels Yixing’s hands slide from down to grip his waist, and groans at the feeling of him nipping at his lower lip.

The older man’s lips separate from his and trail down to his neck. Junmyeon gasps, and his fingers grip the fabric of Yixing’s sweater. His legs part as he leans back to rest against the couch, and his head tilts back to grant him more access. A soft moan spills from his lips as he feels Yixing’s hand slid between them, and he tightens his grip on the sweater. His lips part, and it grows hot underneath the blanket. 

“Junmyeon.”

His fingers slip into Yixing’s hair, and he tugs on the tendrils. “Please… don’t stop.”

“ _ Jun _ .”

His body jerks, and his eyes pop open as he sits up from a cold sweat. He feels soaked from head to toe, and his skin sticks to the leather on the couch. He feels as though someone has dumped a bucket full of ice water on him, and he takes in a few deep breaths to calm himself down. From the corner of his eye, he sees Seojun with a worried look on his face and a furrow to his brow.

“Baby, are you alright? You were whining in your sleep.”

Junmyeon nods when Seojun presses a hand against his forehead. “I’m fine, yeah. When did you get home? How long have I been asleep?”

Seojun chuckles softly. “About ten minutes ago. I brought food from that chicken place you love at Seoul Station. I figured I wasn’t out of the dog house yet, so I finished up early.”

“Ooh, thank you,” he smiles lightly. “I’m going to freshen up really quick.”

Junmyeon stands from the couch and slips off to the bathroom, shutting the door gently behind him. His hands fall to the edges of the sink, taking in a few deep breaths as he looks at himself in the mirror. His hair is sticking to his forehead from sweat and his face is flushed, but he can’t believe he  _ actually  _ dreamed about that. How could he nearly have a sex dream about a man he barely knows? In an attempt to bring color back to his face and calm himself down, Junmyeon splashes his face with some cold water and runs his fingers through his hair. Once he’s satisfied, Junmyeon leaves the bathroom and joins Seojun in the living room.

Seojun has spread the food out on the coffee table, and Junmyeon is mesmerized by the scent. He sees that Seojun has gotten comfortable during his time in the bathroom, having changed his work attire to a simple pair of black sweatpants and a tee. Junmyeon heads over to join him, and drapes himself on the man’s lap. 

“Hm, baby. You’re a bit clingy today, aren’t you?”

Seojun turns his head and presses a kiss against his forehead.

“Do you not like it? I missed you a lot today.”

“No, no. Now, I never said that.”

Junmyeon grins. “Then feed me chicken, please.”

  
Seojun chuckles and decides to indulge Junmyeon in his antics. The two spend the next few hours on the couch, watching back to back films, and stuffing themselves full of fried chicken, tofu bibimbap, and cheese tteokbokki, washing it down with a couple cans of beer. Although Junmyeon is appreciative of Seojun wanting to spend time with him, he still can’t get over how this  _ one _ evening is more time they’ve spent together than they have in the past week. He relishes in it as he knows that this won’t last forever nor happen when he wants it to, but he can’t ignore how real his dream about Yixing had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop- ya'll don't hate me too much, do you? 👀


	5. five

Jongin 

_PPPPAAAAARRIIIIISSSSSSS 2021!!!_

Hwasa

_J, it’s 9am._

_I can hear you screaming._

Chungha

_Are you still in bed?_

Hwasa

_Chungha, it’s 9am._

Jongin

_Alcohol, why are you up?_   
_Did Sunmi call you lazy again?_

Chungha

_Yah! She never called me lazy, she called me a sloth!_

_I have a hair appt. I’m going back to black._

Kyungsoo

_I’m at work and my phone keeps vibrating in this meeting._

_Save the chat for later!_

Hwasa

_No one told you to become a lawyer and get stuck in meetings._

Junmyeon

_Can we hold off on the vacation convo?_

_I’d like to join but I’m swamped right now. :(_

Jongin

_No, hyung._

_My excitement is boiling over right now!_

If there’s one thing Junmyeon loves about his friends, it’s the fact that each year since they became friends, they’ve been going on an annual trip. The annual trip started with a small weekend to Jeju, and since then, they’ve managed to keep up the tradition. Following Jeju came Bali, then Copenhagen, and after last year’s trip to Toronto, they began planning this year’s trip to Paris. 

For the past few years, Junmyeon has continuously tried to get Seojun to come along, but he never wanted to. Surprisingly, it was the one time that Junmyeon didn’t get upset about not spending time with his fiance as he was happy to spend more time with his friends. While growing up, Junmyeon hadn’t gone on vacations as much as his classmates, often limited to road trips to his grandparents’ house in Busan. 

His friends continue to bicker in their group chat as Junmyeon silences his phone with a chuckle and shoves it into his desk drawer. Shortly thereafter, Jennie comes over with Seulgi right by her said.

Junmeon doesn’t know what they’re up to, but they both have a devilish glint in their eyes.

“What did you guys do?”

“Sunbae, we didn’t _do_ anything.”

A grin breaks out on Seulgi’s face. “We finished editing Park Chaeyoung’s book!”

“Unnie, _I_ was supposed to tell him,” Jennie pouts.

Seulgi’s eyes roll, but not in a malicious way. “We made it a joint effort,” Seulgi grins as she sets the marked manuscript on his desk. “We pulled all-nighters and had way too much coffee in the last month, but we did it!”

Junmyeon thumbs through the first few pages of the manuscript with faux suspicion, seeing their notes scribbled in Jennie’s distinctive red gel pen and Seulgi’s blue ink to differentiate their note taking. He looks up at the girl with his eyes squinted, and the girls look as though they’re about to burst from excitement. He folds his arms across his chest and leans back in his seat to build the tension, but he easily gives in to their whims.

“Alright, alright. I’ll pay for your lunch today,” Junmyeon chuckles, earning a giddy cheer from the duo. “I expect for you two to enjoy yourselves, okay?”

“Of course! We’ll eat well.”

Jennie accepts the cash, and they both tip into perfectly angled bows. The two quickly grab their purses while determining what they want to have for lunch, and soon their conversation is fading out of the office. Junmyeon has a little more work to do, getting through lengthy phone calls, correspondence with the art department for a book’s cover, and drafting editorial letters. He has a steady pace going, so when Irene messages him through their office’s messaging system, he’s a little bummed about the break in focus. He heads to her office, and gently raps his knuckles against the glass door, but he’s greeted by an Irene that he rarely sees.

Her usually pin straight hair is pulled off of her shoulders into a messy ponytail, and her fingers are typing a mile a minute on her keyboard. She looks as though she’s already had enough coffee to satisfy her for the rest of the week if the empty cups of Vanilla Flat White was any indication. Junmyeon lingers near the door for a minute, nibbling at his lip.

“Um, I can come back later if you’d like.”

“No, _no_. Please have a seat, and I’m sorry for being so rude. I’ve been pulled in every direction since I got here at seven. I need you to do something for me.”

Junmyeon sits. “Sure, anything.”

“I need you to pick up Jieun’s contract from Yixing’s office.”

He feels his heart stop, but if it truly happened, he would have fallen right out of that chair. He was kind of hoping that he wouldn’t hear that name for a good seventy-hours, but he ultimately failed only thirty-seven hours in. Thankfully Irene is focusing on her laptop, so she doesn’t see Junmyeon turn into a ghost. He was doing his best to forget the dream he had, throwing himself into his work and spending time with Seojun in a terrible attempt to help, but the thoughts continue to flood his memory like a tsunami. His chest grows warm as he presses his knees together, fingers picking at his pants.

“C-Can’t Chaeryeong or Jaemin do it? I’m kind of busy today,” Junmyeon is only lying a tiny bit.

“I would love to ask them, but Jaemin had a family emergency and Chaeryeong has a test today,” Irene sighs. “You know I wouldn’t ask if I weren’t in a bind.”

Junmyeon can tell that Irene is frazzled, and she typically doesn’t look this way. She’s usually a woman who has it all together, but she has a few days where she suddenly is buried by work and stuck in her office for hours on end. Junmyeon can remember having to bring her lunch a few times because she’s trapped in hour long phone or video calls.

He nods stiffly. “I know, I know.” It’s not fair to cure the names of college students, so he bites his tongue instead. “Text me the address?”

A subtle smile appears on Irene’s face when her phone rings, but she sends him the address from her laptop. Junmyeon bows and stands to leave the office just as she answers the phone.

“Oh, honey. Why didn’t I listen to you when you said I could be a housewife?”

Junmyeon collects his things, leaving the building and reading over the address as he does so. It’s not too far from his building, but it’s too far to walk, so he decides to catch a cab. Once he’s settled into the backseat and the driver pulls off into traffic, Junmyeon attempts to calm his nerves.

Yixing was _just_ a man.

A man he nearly had a sex dream about.

He’s _only_ a person.

They’re nothing more than friends, even if they don’t see each other that often.

Yixing is a friend he wants to touch.

He’s a friend he wants to kiss.

If it were possible, Junmyeon would punch the little devil on his shoulder. 

He has no more time to wallow when the cab pulls up to a sleek building. Junmyeon pays the driver and gets out, instantly feeling a wave of intimidation as he stands in front. The courtyard is filled with people in smart suits, chatting amongst themselves, eating lunch, or talking on their phones. The building with CHOI & ASSOCIATES on a futuristic looking backlit sign lets him know that he’s in the right place, so he takes careful steps towards the building, but he soon realizes that’s a bad idea when he’s nearly trampled by some celebrity’s security team. The tall men in dark suits and equally dark sunglasses surround whoever the woman is, her face hidden by a mask and expensive sunglasses.

Junmyeon steadies himself and enters the building through the gold revolving doors, heading towards the receptionist’s desk. She’s a pretty girl with sharp features, and her dark hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail; the darkness of it contrasts well with her lightly tanned skin. When she looks up, her otherwise stoic demeanor fades.

“Hi, welcome to Choi & Associates, I’m Yeji! How can I help you today?”

“Um, I’m Kim Junmyeon from Haneul Publishing. Bae Irene wanted me to pick up a contract from Mr. Zhang Yixing.”

Yeji nods once she has the information, typing on her keyboard for a second before a gentle smile appears on her face. “Oh, there you are. Let me give you this,” she places a guest pass on a lanyard for him to take. “Mr. Zhang’s office is on the twelfth floor, the very last office on the left. If you get lost, the receptionist Lisa will point you in the right direction.”

Junmyeon thanks her and heads to the elevator.

He squeezes into the back of the elevator with some employees of the building, gripping the lanyard in his hand as he watches the digital numbers above him rise slowly. The elevator stops a few times on it’s ascend, letting out a few people at a time as he feels the stuffiness release every time the door opens. Junmyeon continues to keep himself calm, and once the doors open to the twelfth floor, he steps out.

It’s been a little over a week since the last time Junmyeon physically saw Yixing, and he’s not entirely sure of what’s about to happen. Will he get the contract and leave without a conversation? Would he take the contract and never see him again? Junmyeon squares his shoulders and checks in with Lisa before heading towards the office. He stands in front of the dark glass door with his hand hovering, nervous to knock, as he reads ZHANG YIXING, ESQ. etched in gold lettering. Despite the small wave of confidence that he had when stepping out of the elevator, Junmyeon’s shoulders drop and he knocks gently against the door.

“Come in.”

His heart begins to thump erratically as he pushes open the door and enters Yixing’s office. The space is brighter than he expected, thanks to floor-to-ceiling windows and pleasant overhead lighting. Junmyeon shuts the door with a gentle click. Yixing’s large glass desk is perched off to the side, a large bookcase filled with books and knick knacks settled behind it. There are two navy toned armchairs in front of the desk. His eyes scan over to a small lounge area, consisting of a brown leather sofa, a coffee table accented with a fake plant, and two rust toned upholstered arm chairs. Despite all of this to look at, Junmyeon can’t take his eyes off of the man leaning against the edge of the desk.

He’s dressed as casually as a lawyer would, and Junmyeon doesn’t know whether to breathe or pass out. Yixing is styled in a pair of black ankle slacks that hug his physique in all the right places, and the sleeves of a crisp white button down shirt is folded up to his elbows as he reads over whatever stack of documents is in his hands. Junmyeon wrings his hands together and swallows.

“Uh, I-I came for Jieun’s contract,” he finally speaks up.

Yixing finally looks up, and Junmyeon is surprised when he doesn’t get a teasing retort from him. Junmyeon bows politely, and he can only assume that he’s busy, so he finally unglued his feet from the floor and approached the taller man. Yixing moves around his desk and searches under a stack of documents before pulling out the Haneul branded folder. 

“We made a few notes about what Jieun didn’t care for, but other than that, she’s happy with everything you all have offered to her.”

Junmyeon accepts the folder and holds it close to his chest. Yixing’s stoic demeanor makes Junmyeon uncomfortable, and he presses his lips together in thought before speaking carefully. “Are you okay?”

Yixing doesn’t look at him, and it hurts. The atmosphere surrounding Yixing makes Junmyeon worry, and he doesn’t think he has the right to. He sets the folder down on the corner of the desk and moves closer to the taller man almost as if his feet had a mind of their own. He still keeps his distance, and he’s a bit startled when Yixing speaks unexpectedly.

“I’m trying to get through a certain case is all. It’s nothing new that I can’t handle. I’ve dealt with tough cases before.” Yixing smiles at him, and Junmyeon nearly melts.

“Well, alright then. I’ll leave you to it,” Junmyeon nods and picks up the envelope to get ready to leave. “Thank you for the contract. I’m sure Irene will call with any updates for Jieun if they don’t speak directly.”

Junmyeon bows and heads towards the door. He doesn’t understand why he grips the folder to his chest as if it were meant to protect him from something, but he does and somehow it brings him comfort. His hand rests on the door knob when Yixing calls out to him.

“Junmyeon.” 

“Yes?”

He turns, and Yixing is taking steady steps to close the space between them. “I’ve been thinking and um, I would like to know more about you.”

Junmyeon blinks slowly. “I… what do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. I want to get to know you, and see you more often. In this little time that we’ve known each other… I’ve become interested in you.”

“Yixing, you know I’m—”

“Engaged, I know.”

Junmyeon bites the inside of his cheek, and thumbs at the corner of the folder in his hands. He doesn’t know what to say, and he’s nervous to look him in the eye. “Then… What do you expect us to be other than friends? H-How would you want to get to know me?”

Yixing shifts his weight. ‘Spend a night with me.”

“I’m not going to sleep with you!”

The taller man scoffs and rolls his eyes. His hands move to rest on his hips and he gives Junmyeon an incredulous look. It makes Junmyeon shrink. “I’m not asking you to have sex with me, don’t misunderstand. I’m asking you to spend one night with me.”

Junmyeon contemplates for a moment. What could the harm in a simple night together bring? He doesn’t know what’s in store for the night, but he also knows that if Seojun can go anywhere he wants without telling Junmyeon, then he can do the same without repercussions. 

“Should I bring anything?”

Yixing chuckles, and slides a hand through his hair. He doesn’t know if the decision he just made was a good one or a bad one, but there’s no backing out of it now. Yixing’s eyes sparkle the same way that they had when their eyes finally meet.

“I only need you.”

  
  
  
  
  


Junmyeon stares at himself in the full length mirror in his bedroom later that evening. His reflection stares back at him, and he wonders if he made a reasonable decision by accepting Yixing’s offer. He has thirty more minutes until their chosen meeting time, and he’s not sure of how to feel. He’s been reading and rereading the text containing Yixing’s apartment number, cleaned his body three times in the shower, and tossed clothes all over the bedroom as he searched for something to wear. He was in the bathroom for what seemed like an hour, combing his hair back and using a small spoolie to brush out his eyebrows. Junmyeon puts on a lightly tinted lip balm in an attempt to stop biting his lip, but he starts to bite his cheek instead.

He had known about his apartment building’s penthouses when he was apartment searching with Seojun. They knew what they were looking for at the time, so they saw no need in looking at the overpriced pads. He knew that there was a chaebol who lived in one of the penthouses, but he sometimes wonders if she’s an urban legend considering that he’s never seen her. With fifteen minutes to spare, Junmyeon finally grabs his things, slips on his shoes, and leaves the apartment.

He didn’t have to worry too much about Seojun, the man letting him know that he was busy once again. Junmyeon didn’t have to lie about where he was going, knowing that he would be back home within a few hours, but he still texts Jongin to cover for him just in case.

Jongin, being the good friend he is, instantly agrees.

Junmyeon steps into the elevator, dressed in a pair of straight leg jeans with fraying on the hem and a basic white tee underneath a ribbed pink cardigan. He wore a pair of clean white sneakers, and he thinks it’s enough. He takes his time going up the five stories to the penthouse level, punching each level’s button as a means to eat up some time. With the feeling settled in his stomach, Junmyeon can’t recall ever being this nervous.

Not for his college entrance exam.

Not for his job interview.

Not for his first day with Seojun.

The hallway leading to Yixing’s penthouse seems ten miles long, so he grips the hem of his cardigan to ground himself. He can only hear the sound of his heart beating, his footsteps, and the soft _ding!_ of the elevator as someone else needs it. There are only four apartments on this level, and Yixing’s is the last one on the right. 

_PH4_ , the brass etched words read on the plaque on the wall. 

Junmyeon tentatively approaches the door as if it would sprout teeth and bite him. He knocks gently, and takes a couple of steps back as he waits. What if this was all a joke? What if Yixing was pulling a trick and sent him to the wrong penthouse while laughing in the safety of his own? Junmyeon’s left hand begins to shake, but he grips it with the right just as the door opens. 

He barely has time to think before he’s graced with the _vision_ that is Zhang Yixing after work hours. His hair is styled perfectly to show off his undercut, but the hair at the top of his head is a bit tousled. He’s dressed in a pair of light wash jeans with rips on the knees and an embroidered button down Gucci shirt that’s bigger than his usual size. One side of the shirt is tucked into his jeans, and he’s wearing a pair of plush white slippers. The only question Junmyeon has is what kind of _rare_ gem was he sculpted out of to look that good in a pair of round frame glasses?

“Earth to Junmyeon?” Yixing asks with a teasing chuckle. “Are you coming in?”

Junmyeon startles. “Yes, of course. I just… I think I’m a little underdressed.”

“You look perfect,” Yixing compliments. “Come in.”

Yixing steps aside and he steps into the apartment, which is comfortably warm and darkened. He toes off his shoes and slips on a pair of slippers that match Yixing’s, and he takes in the penthouse’s interior. They pass a small laundry and powder room in the foyer, and round the corner to enter the conjoined living room and kitchen. In the same space is the kitchen, which had dark colored cabinetry and modern appliances. There’s a massive light colored area rug that covers most of the floor in the living room and off to the side is a black grand piano. A massive light toned area rug covers the floor in the living room, adding warmth to the room. Everything in the space has a place, and Junmyeon is afraid to touch anything. 

In the kitchen, there’s a large island with slate countertops, and it’s accented by three perfectly placed bar stools. Junmyeon clasps his hands behind his back, not realizing that Yixing had moved back into the kitchen. He allows his nose to lead the way, and he swipes his sweaty palms against his jeans. 

“I didn’t know you could cook,” he says with a soft smile while sliding onto one of the bar stools. “What are you making?”

“ _Dan Dan_ noodles, and you never asked.”

Yixing expertly flicks his wrist while frying whatever’s in the wok, and Junmyeon is mesmerized. He continues to watch Yixing cook, tasing a chilli sauce that sends flavor running from the very tip of his tongue down to the soles of his feet. The two fill the food’s preparation time with small talk, Junmyeon asking about how his welcome home party went after his abrupt exit and Yixing asking about his job. 

In truth, it’s the most stimulating conversations he’s had with someone in a long time, and he can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not. Yixing cracks a few jokes and even causes Junmyeon’s cheeks to flame red a few times, but it’s never from anything that makes him uncomfortable. Just as Yixing pulls down a matching pair of bowls from the cabinet, he invites Junmyeon to join him on the other side of the island. 

“Oh no, _no_! You don’t want me in the kitchen. I can only make a small amount of dishes.”

“Come on, we’re assembling. There’s nothing to mess up.”

Junmyeon bites on his lower lip as he rounds the island with slow footsteps, not because he’s afraid of messing something up, but because of how close he’s about to be to Yixing. He steps up and Yixing slides everything they’ll need within arms reach.

“Alright, pour the sauce into the bowls.”

Junmyeon carefully pours an equal amount of the homemade sauce into the bowls, and waits for further instructions as Yixing moves the empty pot to the sink.

“Now, add the noodles.”

He picks up the cooking chopsticks, and moves the bowl full of noodles closer to himself. He tries to show off a bit, working his wrist in a way to scoop them up, but the second he raises his hand the noodles instantly slap back into the bowl. Junmyeon’s lips push out into a pout, and Yixing chuckles softly before moving in to help him. He steps aside as Yixing expertly places perfectly swirled noodles into the bowls, and takes the empty bowl away to the sink. Yixing comes back within a few moments.

“Top with the meat.”

Junmyeon clears his throat and sticks the meat into the bowls, feeling oddly comforted by how close Yixing is to him. He doesn’t have long to think before Yixing is moving their bowls to the other side of the island and grabbing metal chopsticks from the drawer. He joins him and sets his hands in his lap as he looks at the steaming bowl of food. They spark up conversation again, and he feels as though Yixing is able to see right through him. He’s able to make him laugh and whatever anxieties he had before have seemingly washed down the drain. 

He talks more than he ever does, sharing with Yixing his favorite recipes to make and where he could get the best fried chicken and beer in Seoul. The night goes on, and they haven’t moved from the island as they indulge in a few glasses of wine. Junmyeon falls into a fit of giggles as Yixing tries to argue his case on how good mint chocolate chip ice cream is, nearly falling out of the chair. 

Junmyeon doesn’t know how long they talked, but he checks the time on his phone and his eyes widen.

“Oh, it’s nearly midnight. Where did the time go?”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Yixing speaks softly as they both slide off of their chairs. “I’ll walk you to the door.” 

Junmyeon waits for Yixing to put the glasses into the sink before they walk to the front door together, and Junmyeon changes back into his sneakers. He feels that same nervousness building up in his frame when Yixing unlocks the door and he steps out into the hallway. They look at each for a few moments, sharing eye contact and sheepish smiles before they both fall into a short fit of laughter. 

“Thank you for inviting me tonight,” Junmyeon bows. “I had a lot of fun getting to know you.”

“No, thank _you_ for coming. I had a nice night with you, Junmyeon-ssi.”

He feels his cheeks warm up, and before he can stop himself, he takes a few tiny steps forward and raises himself up onto his toes. Junmyeon feels Yixing go stiff from the gentle action, and he chuckles lightly. His hand gently touches Yixing’s cheek as he kisses the other, and he steps back just as quickly as it happened.

“Let’s do this again sometime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter for ya'll! And I'm ??? nearly at 150 hits so excuse me as I cry my eyeballs out 🥺thank ya'll so much for the love! And we finally have a timeline reveal! Yep, this story is set in the future, in the spring time of 2021! 
> 
> I also made a twitter (it's bare bones rn lol) but if you'd like to follow for behind the scenes of Underwater or asking me any question's once I set up my CC, it's @jcnnierubies! I look forward to chatting with you guys!


	6. six

Junmyeon stretches blissfully like a cat just a few minutes before his alarm is due to go off. Strangely, he had gotten the best sleep of his life, and he feels energized. He sits up slowly, lips smacking together from how dry his mouth was, and he’s soon pushing himself out of bed. The bedroom door is pulled up, but the light from the living space is on. He slides on his slippers and leaves the bedroom, but he’s surprised when he sees Seojun sitting in the kitchen. Junmyeon has never woken up early enough to see Seojun before he went to work thanks to their different work schedules, but Junmyeon doesn’t think much of it.

“Good morning,” Junmyeon bites his lip. “You haven’t left yet?”

Seojun shakes his head. “I have a little more time. Come here.”

Junmyeon approaches his open arms, and Seojun laces them around his waist when he pulls Junmyeon down onto his lap. He doesn’t know where this sudden need for affection comes from, but he doesn’t question it. He settles himself on Seojun’s lap, and gently combs his fingers through his hair at the back of his head in an effort to not mess up his hair. Junmyeon presses a kiss against his forehead, then temple, and finally on his lips. He usually avoids kissing Seojun when he’s just woken up, but it’s evident that something was wrong.

The kiss doesn’t last long, one of Seojun’s hands on his waist and the other lightly gripping his thigh. 

“Talk to me,” Junmyeon mumbles. “What’s going on?”

A few moments pass before Seojun speaks. “It’s just some stuff at work as always. It’s nothing you should worry about,” he reaches to stroke his thumb against Junmyeon’s cheek. “Join me. I bought you something from that cafe down the road.” 

Junmyeon stands up from Seojun’s lap, and moves towards the bag on the counter. He’s met with a warm egg, bacon and cheese bagel and a steaming cup of English Breakfast tea. Junmyeon joins Seojun at the table, a grin on his face as he’s grateful that he’ll have more to eat other than a giant cup of coffee on the way to work. “Mm, thank you,” Junmyeon all but moans when he bites into the warm sandwich. It had been a while since they were able to enjoy breakfast together, and Junmyeon wants nothing more than for it to continue, but Seojun’s phone ringing pops the comfortable bubble that surrounds them.

His eyes flit up to the wall clock reading 7:27am, and secretly crosses his fingers underneath the table. Seojun only speaks in affirmations, and hangs up the phone not even five minutes later. He closes the box that his sandwich was in while standing up from the table, and Junmyeon feels his heart sink. Maybe he took those ten minutes for granted.

Seojun turns to him, and Junmyeon plasters a fake smile on his face. “I’m sorry, I have to go in earlier than I thought.” Junmyeon is stunned by the apology, but he doesn’t think too much into it. “I’ll try to be home early to send you off tomorrow, okay?”

Junmyeon nods as Seojun presses a firm kiss against his lips, and he’s soon enveloped in the silence of their apartment once his fiance is gone. He still has some more packing to do to leave for Paris tomorrow, so he finishes up his breakfast and throws everything away before going back into the bedroom. He packs his bag and rolls it to the front door, takes a shower and gets dressed for the day. He’s buttoning his jeans when he gets a text from Chungha.

Chungha

_ Oppa! I’m downstairs! _

He had plans to accompany Chungha on a shopping trip so she can get some new clothes for Tokyo. She’s always wanting to shop, and Junmyeon likes to accompany her as a way to get out of the house. After he slips on his coat and grabs what he needs, Junmyeon leaves the apartment and heads downstairs to meet her. 

Chungha is in the lobby, blonde locks now black as she types on her phone. She may be short in height, but she makes up for it by wearing a pair of platform boots that raise her from the ground by four inches. She looks every inch a chaebol’s wife when she has a serious look on her face, but she instantly brightens when Junmyeon comes into view.

“You’re here!” she beams. “Come on, let’s go before the stores get busy.”

  
  
  
  
  


Luckily, they don’t have to travel far as Chungha wants to shop at Galleria, a luxury department store in Gangnam. He doesn’t do much shopping for himself, instead grabbing a new bottle of cologne for Seojun and looking at clothes he likes, but he does get himself a pair of sunglasses from Gentle Monster. Now, he’s sitting in the food court with Chungha, who is surrounded by various bags from her apparent no budget shopping trip. After a few hours of shopping, Junmyeon is happy to be sitting down for lunch. He shares a barbecue chicken and cheese ciabatta sandwich with Chungha, while they have their own vanilla sweet cream cold brew and Iced Americano, respectively.

“Oppa, what’s bothering you?” Chungha asks with a tilt of her head. “You’ve barely said anything today.”

He stops gnawing at his lower lip. “I’m sorry,” he hums. “I think something’s wrong with Seojun.”

“What do you mean?”

“I woke up earlier than usual this morning, and he didn’t look happy. I don’t know how to describe it but he looked… he looked  _ defeated _ but I’m not sure why. He’s been irritable and we don’t see each other that often anymore,” he pauses to exhale. “I think something’s wrong.”

“What could be wrong, though? I thought you said that Seojun-ssi was doing well at his job.”

“He is, but I’m worried that it could be something else. He doesn’t talk to me, and I hate it. I ask him if he’s okay and he says he’s fine. Maybe I should stay home.”

“Yah!” Chungha startles him and a couple other patrons in the cafe, and he bows his head in apology. “He isn't a baby, Junmyeon-ah. I know he’s your  _ baby _ in another way, but I’ve experienced it with Sunmi, too. Sometimes you have to let go, and when they want to talk, they will. We’ll go to Paris, we’ll enjoy ourselves, and when you come back I’m sure Seojun-ssi will be ready to talk.”

Junmyeon smiles sheepishly. “How are you younger than me but so much better at giving advice?”

“I’ve been married for three years now, Jun. I know everything,” she chuckles. “Now come on. There’s a pair of Fendi boots I’ve been  _ dying _ to get my hands on.” 

The duo spend a little more time at Galleria, and Junmyeon is dropped off at home a little after two in the afternoon. He puts the small Dior bag on the dresser for Seojun and puts away his small purchases. He figures that he’ll take his new sunglasses with him, so he slips them down into his carry-on so he won’t forget them in the morning. Junmyeon doesn’t know what to do with himself since he’d taken off work, so he changes out of his clothes and into something comfortable. For a while, he entertains himself with watching a few minutes of a drama and scrolls through social media, but he eventually gets bored and drifts off for a short nap.

  
  
  
  
  


When he wakes, it’s close to eight in the evening and the apartment is cast in darkness. He brushes his fingers through his tangled locks, and pushes himself up from the bed. The sound of a slightly muted show playing on television fills the otherwise silent space, and Junmyeon carefully pulls open the door. He sees Seojun sitting on the couch, and he stays near the bedroom door when the latter turns to look at him. “Hey.”

“Hi. When did you get home?”

“About an hour ago. I came to check on you, but I didn’t want to disturb your nap. Join me, I bought pizza.”

He grabs a slice of Margherita Caprese and American style pizza with a can of beer before going to join Seojun on the couch. The latter drapes an arm around Junmyeon as he presses into his side and eats the room temperature pizza. Seojun turns up the television and they watch quietly. After watching the main character of the movie fight his way through a gang of thieves, Junmyeon looks up at Seojun. He looks tired, and as if he’s been running on fumes and coffee all day. He sinks his teeth down into his lower lip and turns his body towards Seojun. Junmyeon doesn’t know what’s going on, and he doesn’t understand why Seojun isn’t talking to him, so he’s stuck at a crossroads. Seojun reaches over and brushes a thumb against his cheek before finally looking at him.

Seojun’s touch is gentle and Junmyeon can’t stop himself from leaning his cheek into his palm. He gently kisses Seojun’s palm, and reaches up to give his hand a squeeze.

“Seojun-ah, what’s wrong?” He asks tentatively. “Is everything okay at work?”

Seojun nods. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“The way you left this morning. I got a weird feeling… like something’s going on, but you’re not talking to me.”

“I didn’t think I needed to, Junmyeon-ah.”

He blinks. “I’m not trying to argue with you. I’m just worried about you.”

“There’s  _ nothing  _ for you to be worried about.”

Junmyeon straightens his posture. “You would tell me if something  _ was _ wrong though, right?” He bites his lip. “I feel like we don’t talk like we used to anymore.”

It’s not a lie, and it’s not simply a feeling either. They shared simple conversations, enough to not ruffle each other’s feathers, but Junmyeon was more likely to bare his soul than Seojun. He hates the way that it feels like he’s having to pull teeth with Seojun whenever he wants the older man to open up to him. When Junmyeon would press, much like he’s doing now, it would lead to an argument or Seojun stomping out of the apartment like an angered child. His hands wring together as he waits for Seojun to speak.

“Stop grasping for straws, Jun. It’s annoying.”

He visibly shrinks. “I’m not trying to be annoying I just want—”

“It’s  _ aggravating _ , actually. You’re always looking for something to nag about and you  _ never _ listen when I tell you to leave me alone,” Seojun glares at him and Junmyeon averts his attention. “What is it that you want from me, huh? To come home everyday and dump everything out as if you have the answers to fix it?”

Junmyeon flinches as with every word Seojun’s voice raises. “No, that’s not—”

“Then  _ what  _ do you want from me? God, I can’t  _ wait  _ until you’re gone tomorrow. Maybe then I’ll finally get some peace and quiet in this goddamn house.”

Seojun turns back to the television, but Junmyeon remains frozen. He has never been spoken to like that, and it pierces right into this heart. Seojun is glowering at the television and Junmyeon knows better than to say anything more, so he pushes himself to sit on the other side of the couch. He pulls his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around them in an effort to make himself feel secure. The show playing isn’t all that interesting, but Junmyeon watches it to focus on  _ anything  _ else. He feels a stinging burn at the backs of his eyes, and he knows he wants to get away immediately.

Junmyeon is shell shocked, stuck in place as he watches Seojun look at the television as if he wants to throw it off of their balcony. He feels as though he’s been sucker punched, and he attempts to keep the onslaught of sniffles quiet as he stands up from the couch.

He collects his trash and disposes of it properly. His hands wipes against his cheeks when he feels a few tears escape, and turns himself towards the cabinets to hide his face. He should have taken Chungha’s advice and left the situation alone instead of attempting to get something out of his fiance. Junmyeon turns to leave the kitchen, but his steps halt to a step when Seojun rounds the corner. 

“Junmyeon—”

“It’s fine, just forget I asked.”

Seojun sighs. “So what? You press me to talk two minutes ago and now you’re pushing me away again? What do you want, Jun?”

“I’m not the one pushing anyone away, Seojun. I  _ never _ am. Every time I try to talk to you or get close to you, you find a reason to start fighting with me. You don’t… you don’t talk to me anymore and when I want you to you start being an asshole.”

“Junmyeon-ah—”

“I’m tired.”

Junmyeon moves to head towards the bedroom, but Seojun grips his forearm. He winces, stumbling backwards as Seojun pulls him back into place. He attempts to pull his arm free, but fails under his vice like grip. “Let go of me,” Junmyeon huffs.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“Nothing,” he pushes off Seojun’s hand. “I’m going to bed. I have an early flight.”

He brushes past Seojun and slips into their bedroom, exhaling slowly as he shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t bother to turn the light on as he’s able to find his way around in the dark, and dumps himself onto the bed. Junmyeon hates the sour mood that consumes him as he buries himself underneath the blanket, pulling it over his head as he curls into a ball. For about ten minutes, he lays in the silent bedroom, focusing on his breathing when the bedroom door opens and closes. 

Junmyeon remains stiff when Seojun slides into bed behind him, and the space between them seems to be miles wide. After a while of Seojun’s tossing and turning, Junmyeon is finally able to force himself into a fitful and restless sleep.

  
  
  
  


Time differences had a habit of making Junmyeon crash in the backseat of taxis, but this time around, he can only focus on the passing Parisian scenery. They left Seoul at the ripe hour of five in the morning, the five friends leaning on each other in an effort to stay awake during check in. When they leave, the skies are dark, but once they land, the sun is high in the sky and warm against their skin. Thanks to Chungha, they were able to get a chauffeured car to where they were staying, and it was a good thing considering that none of them had ever driven in Paris and they were far too tired to.

Once they arrive at their accommodation, Junmyeon climbs out of the car and grabs his bags. He attempted to pack light, but considering that he didn’t know what their plans were, he managed to have a carry-on and a large luggage filled to the brim. He bows to their driver as a thank you and speaks only the small percentage of French that he knows before following his friends inside. They were staying in an apartment in Le Marais, which was spacious and airy thanks to the massive windows. The apartment has a beautiful balcony that the friends were sure to make use of during their trip, but for now, Junmyeon could only think about taking a nap before they did  _ anything _ .

He’s hauling his luggage through the foyer when he hears Chungha squeal from the living room. He leaves his bag, shutting the door behind him as he rounds the corner to see what’s going on. Junmyeon, out of everything that’s happened, wasn’t expecting to see Yixing standing amongst his friends. His hair was styled just as it had been in his dream, hanging down in his face, and he was dressed comfortably— presumably for his flight. The clothes that he wears fit them perfectly, and although it’s basically a luxury sweat suit, it looks as though it has been tailored to fit him perfectly.

Junmyeon’s heart flutters and his cheeks go pink when he takes in the grey sweatpants.

“Oppa, look who came!” 

Yixing clears his throat and pretends as though he hadn’t been staring when Yixing’s eyes land on him. He waves cautiously, his face still on fire. 

“How about we pick rooms and relax for a while?” Kyungsoo suggests. “I can find us some coffee and pastries.”

Hwasa and Chungha pick the bedroom with the attached bathroom, while Kyungsoo and Jongin pick the one next to them. Junmyeon feels a thin layer of sweat on his skin as he heads towards the last room available, and Yixing trails behind him. The last room wasn’t as big as the others, and Junmyeon was alright with that, especially considering that he would have been in the room by himself since he was originally going to sleep in the room alone. Junmyeon pushes the door open, and sinks his teeth down into his lower lip. The light coming in from the window and door leading to the balcony bathes the room, and bounces off of the painted wall. 

He nearly trips over himself as he steps back and pulls the door closed. Junmyeon bumps into Yixing’s hard frame, and a squeak spills from his lips.

“Why aren’t you going inside?”

Junmyeon turns quickly. “Th-there’s only one bed.”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” Yixing chuckles. “Go in.”

He jumps when he feels Yixing’s hand over his on the doorknob, pushing the door open and effectively making Junmyeon enter the bedroom as well. Yixing walks to the other side of the room, opening the window and letting in a cool, but comfortable breeze. Junmyeon stays frozen near the door, watching the older man as he takes a deep breath and stresses his arms over his head. A sliver of skin appears from underneath his shirt, and Junmyeon turns away before his cheeks have the chance to flame.

Junmyeon decides to stick his clothes into the three drawers on the left of the dresser, leaving the others for Yixing. Since they were going to be staying for five days, he figured that he should be comfortable. The silence between them is comfortable, Junmyeon not really knowing what to say. He sinks his teeth into his lower lip once more, closing the last drawer before turning towards Yixing. He slowly pads over, the older man still taking in the scenery from their provided window.

“If you’re not comfortable with me staying—”

“No, no. It’s okay… I just wasn’t sure if you were. I thought I was going to have the room to myself. How did you get here so fast?”

“I was able to get a flight last night thanks to a friend. Kyungsoo invited me.”

He nods. “Well, the more the merrier.” Junmyeon hears the front door close. “Come on, sounds like Kyungsoo is back.”

The duo leave their room, where Kyungsoo is coming in with a couple of bags full of pastries and carefully stacked coffees. They all take a coffee and Junmyeon takes a croissant for himself. He settles himself on the couch beside Hwasa and Jongin, who pouts because he hasn’t had the opportunity to go to sleep again. 

“What’s the plan for today, Alcohol?”

Chungha rolls her eyes playful at the nickname. “Well, our groceries are getting delivered tomorrow, so let’s freshen up, take a tour of the Seine River and end the day with dinner and a show at Lido de Paris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter & CC : @jcnnierubies !


	7. seven

The River Seine is even more gorgeous than Junmyeon could have expected. The group walk across the  _ Pont-Neuf _ , pausing to take pictures and point at whatever they see. They probably look like the stereotypical tourists, but they don’t mind as they’re enjoying themselves. The weather is warm against the skin and although there’s a gentle breeze, it’s not enough to make them too cold. After a while on the bridge, the group has decided to walk along the Banks of the Seine, and Junmyeon is once again trailing behind with Yixing.

The leaves on the trees are firm and green as he passes under them with Yixing, reaching out and gently touching the bark. He takes a picture of the way sunlight seeps through the leaves, and takes a selfie where he only shows his eyes. 

Junmyeon nearly forgets about Yixing until the other man clears his throat, and he turns towards him with a hint of embarrassment on his cheeks. They both laugh softly, and Junmyeon falls in step alongside him. “I’m sorry. It’s my first time in Paris.”

“And do you like it thus far?”

He nods. “It’s so much better seeing all of the sights in person. I’ve been looking at pictures on my phone for months now. I never thought I’d come here.”

“Why’s that?”

“It always seemed so unobtainable. I met my friends through my fiance, and they’re the best group of people that I know. It’s not impossible to see that they’re all richer than me, though. I had to save for months to come.”

“Your fiance didn’t help you?”

“He’s such a hardass,” Junmyeon sighs. “He finds fault in my friends all the time. He says that I’ll never— forget it. I’m mad at him anyway.”

His fist clenches at his side, remembering their argument the day before. Junmyeon is not even sure if he could classify it as an argument more than a disagreement, and it’s annoying that he’s letting it bother him. He had come to Paris with the intention of enjoying his time with his friends, but Seojun is always lingering in the back of his head when he doesn’t want him to. Junmyeon has fallen silent, and he feels himself getting worked up.

“Should we scream?”

Junmyeon turns. “What?”

“He makes you want to scream, right?”

“Well, yes—”

“Then let’s scream.”

Junmyeon’s eyes stretch when Yixing yells for about two seconds, and he immediately reaches up to cover his mouth. Yixing stops screaming, and falls into a short fit of laughter behind Junmyeon’s hands. He drops his hands, gently swatting against the older man’s chest. 

“Are you out of your mind? People will think something’s wrong with us.”

“Why does that matter? Everyone needs to scream now and then.”

“ _ Yixing _ , we can’t scream like that.”

“Join me and I’ll stop.”

Yixing screams again, causing a few birds to leave the comfort of the tree behind them. Junmyeon looks around, noting that in this spot there’s no one around. He continues to watch Yixing as he yells, and he only lets a few moments pass before he’s joining in. The way that the air escapes him feels like finally relieving the faucet of a backed up sink. The vibrations travel through the air, and Junmyeon bounces up onto his toes as he feels the tips of his finger tingle. He only stops when he starts to cough, but that soon turns into laughter as Yixing pats him on the back.

“That was so— that was so much fun!” He breathes out. 

“It feels good to scream doesn’t it? I told you, everyone needs to scream.”

Junmyeon feels as though he’s floating on a cloud as his fingers continue to tingle, and he exhales heavily. A warm feeling begins to spread throughout his chest, and his cheeks grow warm. His eye contact with Yixing breaks as he turns his attention back towards the river, and nervously shoves his hands down into the pockets of his jacket. He feels heat creeping from his neck and up to his face, but he starts to walk again before Yixing gets the chance to say anything about him blushing.

A few minutes of silence pass, and he continues to take in the scenery of the Seine River. Another boat passes, and in the distance he can see Jongin with Kyungsoo and Jongin is showing off his best model poses while Kyungsoo snaps away with his camera. Hwasa and Chungha are also getting pictures, posing expertly and giggling at the results. Junmyeon digs his teeth down into his lower lip.

“I—”

“You—”

Yixing chuckles warmly as they speak at the same time, and Junmyeon chuckles as well, his cheeks burning even darker. Yixing motions for him to speak, and Junmyeon lightly clears his throat.

“Thank you for screaming with me,” Junmyeon says with a soft laugh. “I didn’t think I’d ever say that.”

“It helped you relax, though, didn’t it?”

“Mm,” he nods. “I got into a stupid argument yesterday with my fiance. I’ve been trying to forget about it, but I hate that I left without resolving things. I’m sorry, I’m dumping on you.”

“No, it’s alright and we’re in Paris. That’s not to say you’ll forget about what happened, but the least we can do is enjoy ourselves while we’re here. We could try escargot, get drunk on French wine, and eat as many chocolate croissants as we want.”

Junmyeon shakes his head. “How about we replace the escargot for tiramisu and you’ve got a deal.”

“Alright. We’ll get tiramisu, French wine, and chocolate croissants. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like you’ve got yourself a date,” Junmyeon coughs. “N-Not a date, I mean…”

“Not a date, then.”

  
  
  


The group stumbles back into their rented apartment, buzzing with excitement and too many glasses of wine in their systems. The show at Lido de Paris had captured their attention the moment that the lights dimmed, and they even left the venue without saying anything to each other for a solid ten minutes. Once in their car, they were all talking over one another while pointing out their favorite moments from Johny Boy’s sword-swallowing act to Masha’s aerial hoops performance. 

They hang out in the living room for a while, munching on a few snacks from their grocery trip while watching television. Slowly, they all break off for bed, cleaning up the living room a bit before going to their rooms. The apartment is quiet as he slips out onto the balcony as the clock strikes eighteen minutes after midnight. He knows that Seojun is more than likely at work by now, so he takes a seat at the small table while the line trills.

The phone rings for what seems like an eternity before Seojun finally answers.

“Hello?”

Junmyeon bites his lip. “Did I wake you up? I thought you were at work.”

“No, I don’t have to go in until nine,” Seojun exhales. “How’s Paris?”

“It’s  _ gorgeous _ — I hope we can come back together someday.” He pulls his feet into the chair.

“Everything alright, Jun?”

“Yeah, I just… I wanted to apologize for our fight before I left. I was being childish and pushy; that wasn’t fair to you.”

Junmyeon hears Seojun shuffling around. “Baby, _ I _ wasn’t being fair. I snapped at you for no reason and all you wanted was for me to talk to you.”

He feels his heart swell in his chest. Seojun was not the kind of man who apologized so easily, even if he didn’t explicitly use the words “I’m sorry”. Sometimes talking to Seojun was like talking to a brick wall, and Junmyeon often wondered how he was able to keep up with essentially talking to himself. He lifts his attention from picking at the invisible lint on his pajama bottoms up to the sky, where he sees stars twinkling. Living in Seoul, this was a rare occurrence since the city lights often obstructed his view.

“I should—”

“ _ Oppa _ .”

The wind is punched right out of Junmyeon’s lungs. He stops breathing as if that were to make him disappear, and his heart thrums uncomfortably in his chest. Was Seojun with someone else? Was he with someone else in  _ their  _ bed? His throat closes and the backs of his eyes begins to sting as he hears Seojun speaking, and it’s  _ not  _ to him. He wants to hang up, but the hurt building in his frame keeps him steeled in place. His lower lip begins to wobble, and he has to press his lips together to keep an audible sob from spilling.

Junmyeon sucks in a quiet breath when Seojun returns to the phone. “Baby—”

“I-I should go. It’s getting late over here.”

“Junmyeon, hold on…”

“ _ Oppa, hang up the phone _ .”

“Jun…”

He hangs up, and the phone clatters onto the table. The dam breaks then, tears spilling down his cheeks as he buries his face into his hands. His heart beats uncomfortably in his chest as he tries to catch his breath, but he’s failing. The last thing he wants is for his friends to hear his meltdown. He doesn’t want to be a damper on the mood on the first day of their vacation, but it hurts so damn bad. Maybe what hurts the most is the unknown— not knowing if Seojun is actually cheating on him or if there was something that he was missing entirely.

Junmyeon startles when he hears a door open, and attempts to rid his cheeks of the tears while turning away from view. He’s sure that his eyes are rimmed red despite only crying for all of three minutes, but he’s sure that he’s been caught.

“Junmyeon-ah?”

Yixing calling out to him is endearing, but it makes another wave of tears well up in his eyes. The older man moves over to where he is, and takes a seat in one of the vacant chairs. He feels so stupid, crying openly and with his head beginning to pound. He especially feels bad that Yixing is out here, clearly determined to find out what’s wrong. 

“You should go back to bed,” he says hoarsely. “I’m okay.”

“I may need glasses but I’m not  _ that  _ blind, Junmyeon-ah. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing. I’m being stupid.”

“Your version of nothing must be vastly different from my own. What’s going on?”

Junmyeon sighs. “I got some bad news. It was a lot for me to handle.”

He hears Yixing move closer to him and his sniffles slow to a stop when he feels Yixing’s thumbs brushing against his cheeks. Junmyeon swipes the back of his hand underneath his —chin, his neck wet with tears. His soft sniffles return, and he tries his hardest to keep his tears at bay.

“I just feel so dumb,” he admits. “I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” 

The tears that were pooling in his eyes begin to spill, and Junmyeon barely has the chance to wipe them away before Yixing is gently patting his thumbs against his cheeks. A warmth spreads throughout his chest as he does so, and Junmyeon sinks his teeth down into his lower lip. He doesn’t know why Yixing is being so helpful, or why he’s making the effort to comfort him, but he welcomes it.

Without thought, Junmyeon finds himself leaning forward to close the space between them. His lips gently press against Yixing’s, barely lasting a few seconds before he’s pulling away again. Junmyeon’s eyes search over Yixing’s face, seeing the touch of bewilderment in the older man’s eyes. He is prepared to start apologizing, cheeks flushing pale that he had kissed him. “I—”

The apology barely has time to form before Yixing is tugging him forward by the neck, and they’re kissing again. Junmyeon doesn’t know what to do with his hands for a moment before he settles for gripping the front of Yixing’s shirt. Yixing stands from his crouching position, taking Junmyeon with him, but their lips never separate. He laces an arm around Yixing’s neck, and he’s pressed closer by Yixing tightening the arm around his waist. Junmyeon peels away, chest rising and falling as he attempts to catch his breath. 

“Junmyeon-ah…”

“Should we go inside?”

He nods, pulling himself away a bit as he grabs his phone from the table. He trails behind Yixing as they enter the bedroom, and Junmyeon closes the door behind him with a soft click. Junmyeon isn’t sure if he isn’t thinking or if he’s allowing himself to work on autopilot, but when Yixing sits on the edge of their shared bed, Junmyeon is invading his space. Yixing keeps his hands on top of his thighs.

“What are you doing?”

His shoulders roll into a shrug. “Not thinking for once. I don’t want to think anymore.”

He moves to kiss him again, but Yixing gently places his hands on Junmyeon’s waist to push him back. Junmyeon’s not sure why, but the rejection hits him square in the chest. He blinks a few times, and he’s sure that it’s because his emotions have been on a never ending rollercoaster all day, but his heart beats erratically in his chest.

“Are you rejecting me now too?”

Yixing’s brows knit together. “What are you talking about?”

“Let me guess, I’m just a second thought to you too, right? You say one thing but do another. You say you want one thing, but then you take it all back as soon as things don’t go your way— I don’t know why I thought you were different.”

“Junmyeon, stop.”

“Why!?” His voice rises, but he instantly regrets it based on the look that he receives from Yixing and the fact that his friends are sleeping. “Am I not allowed to say how I feel about anything? Am I supposed to take everything in stride, shut up, never complain, and pretend as though I’m alright for the sake of other people?” 

“Jun…”

“Why am I not allowed to do what I want, huh?” 

He hasn’t even realized that he’s started crying again until he tastes the salty tears streaming down his cheeks. He has half a brain to push Yixing away when the taller man stands, gently taking his wrist to pull him in closer. He feels Yixing’s hand against his cheek, thumb brushing away tears as he presses a gentle kiss against the top of Junmyeon’s head. “Junmyeon-ah, I’m sorry. Take a deep breath, okay?”

Junmyeon inhales slowly, and his cheek presses into the soft fabric of Yixing’s sleep shirt. He feels himself finally calming down from the flurry of emotions that consumed him, and he does his best to keep his tears at bay. It takes some time before he has finally regained a normal breathing pattern, and he separates himself from Yixing to get into bed. He shifts around for a while, trying to find a place where he’s most comfortable, eventually finding comfort in the sound of Yixing’s soft snoring.

  
  
  
  


The next morning, Junmyeon avoids Yixing. He feels bad for his erratic behavior, and he doesn’t know how to apologize without sounding like a broken record. He eats his chocolate croissant and coffee without speaking much at the breakfast table, responding only when spoken to and giving small responses in affirmation as they planned out their day. He rushes to the car to get into the last row, squished between the window and Jongin who insists on manspreading as much as he can to accommodate the small space and his long legs. Yixing sits in the seat in front of him, typing away on his phone while Hwasa and Chungha chat. He stares at the back of his head as if that were to help him be able to read Yixing’s mind— as if it were to help him conjure up an apology.

The Louvre Museum is even more gorgeous standing directly in front of it, and there are no amount of pictures that will do it justice. Junmyeon is in awe, snapping pictures of the scenery like a true tourist before he’s pulled into a group photo by Chungha. They were able to get someone to take one for them, before they put Jongin’s long arms to good use for a group selfie. The group gets into the line to enter, thankfully having already purchased their tickets to avoid a longer wait. His phone pings with a few notifications.

Seojun  **7:24am**

_ Junmyeon, please call me. _

Seojun  **8:19am**

_ Baby, please… _

Seojun  **8:49am**

_ Please answer my calls. _

Seojun  **9:10am**

_ Baby _ —

“Junmyeon-ah, come on!” 

He shoves his phone down into the pocket of his jeans, plastering a smile on his face as he moves to catch up with his friends. They pick up their audio guides, and start their tour from the Richelieu entrance. He follows the tour with his friends, and they make their way around the space, admiring the seventeenth and eighteenth century sculptures. At one point, Jongin, Chungha, and Kyungsoo attempt to recreate one, but it ends with a horrible photo and infectious laughter. 

Junmyeon is busy admiring the many sculptures of the Cour Marly, but he feels as though he’s being watched. He’s looking at the “Horse of Marly” sculpture when he’s approached by Yixing, and Junmyeon feels his breath hitch in his throat. He knew that he couldn’t avoid him forever, but he still hadn't conjured up a worthy apology for his behavior the previous night.

“Yixing-ssi…” His voice trails. 

He pulls the earphones out, gripping them tightly. The older man is looking him directly in the face, and he feels his heart thrumming in his chest almost to the point of discomfort. His focus shifts elsewhere, and he’s pulled out of his thoughts when Yixing takes his hand and pulls him to a vacant corridor. Junmyeon stumbles in his attempt to keep up, and he tries to tug his hand away but Yixing pulls him around the corner before he can protest. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Junmyeon blinks. “I didn’t think that you wanted to talk to me… n-not after how I acted last night.” 

“What was going on with you?”

“Nothing,” he lies. “I told you, I got bad news and I didn’t handle it well.”

“And what was the bad news?”

Junmyeon inhales, and shifts his attention again. He doesn’t know if he feels comfortable with telling what happened, and he especially doesn’t know if what he assumed was actually the truth. His heart thrums in his chest, and he sinks his teeth down into his lower lip. “Seojun was being a jerk again, and I… I shouldn’t have kissed you last night. I was caught up in my feelings.”

Yixing’s arms fold across his chest. “Are you ever going to tell me the truth?”

“Maybe,” he looks up from his hands. “I didn’t mean to yell at you either. I was just…”

“Junmyeon-ah, it’s alright. If you want to talk, we can, but for now stop avoiding me. We’re supposed to be having chocolate croissants and French wine, remember?”

He feels his cheeks warm. “You forgot the tiramisu.”

“I was making sure you didn’t forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooooaa! 240 hits ... guys, I'm seriously going to burst into tears! Thank you so much to everyone that has read, commented, or left kudos thus far! I still have so much more up my sleeve for this story, and I can't wait to share it with you guys! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading this newest chapter! One of these days I'll write some quality smut for ya'll as soon as I gain the confidence to do so 🥴.
> 
> Twitter & CC: @jcnnierubies


	8. eight

If there was one thing Junmyeon loved about his friends, it was how much they’d become like a small family to him in the few short years he’s known them. Since his move from his small hometown to Seoul, it had been hard for Junmyeon to make friends because of his work and school schedule. He made more acquaintances than friends during his college years thanks to the various clubs that he joined, but the people he met during that time weren’t his lifelong friends.

Even now, he wonders if they’ll be going on vacations like this once they’re old and grey. He wonders if their kids will be friends like they are.

His cheeks hurt as they enjoy an impromptu picnic of various finger foods that they picked up at a local bakery, Junmyeon is at peace. They’re talking over one another, laughing and teasing, sharing stories and arguing over what minor details may have been forgotten. He munches on a madeleine and sips his rose, a look of disbelief forming on his features when he hears Hwasa’s whine.

“Yah, Kim Jongin, you can’t say stuff like that!” She scolds. “I still can’t believe you’re dating Kyungsoo when you’re so childish.”

“We all know it, Hwasa. You’ve had a crush on him since forever.”

“Shut it!”

“Wait, who are we talking about here?” Yixing chimes in after swallowing a piece of quiche.

“Hwasa has a crush on Junmyeon’s coworker,” Chungha beams. “It’s—”

“Not Baekhyun I hope,” Junmyeon visibly shivers. “He’s the—”

“It’s not Baekhyun, oh my God. It’s Chanyeol.”

Junmyeon’s jaw nearly hits the floor. “Hwasa! You guys would be so cute together!”

“I’ve tried telling her that,” Chungha nudges the woman beside her. “She refuses to talk to him even though they like each other’s pictures on Instagram all day long.”

“Who’s Chanyeol?” Yixing asks quietly.

Junmyeon smiles. “He’s on the marketing team at my job. He was the tall one with fading pink hair at the meeting with Jieun.”

Yixing nods.

“What if I’m not his type? He could like tall girls or something.”

“If he liked that thirst trap you posted, there’s no way he wouldn’t see you as his type.”

Their conversation rolls on as they people watch, making up scenarios and falling into fits of giggles. They snap more pictures for memories and for their Instagram stories, Jongin and Kyungsoo showing off trick shots with grapes and cheering when they land after the fifth attempt. Despite only recently coming into the group, Yixing seems to fall in comfortably with the chaotic crowd that is his friends.

They’re in the middle of loudly speaking over each other once again, trying to figure out which Twice song they like better, to wondering if they’ll rewatch  _ Goblin  _ once they’ve returned to their rented home, and Hwasa playfully teases Yixing when he confesses that he’s never seen it.

“Even if you don’t watch it for the plot, you have to watch it for Lee Dong Wook and Gong Yoo. Ugh, they are  _ masterpieces _ , Yixing-ssi.”

“Ahn Hye-jin,” Chungha scrunches her nose. “If you’re going to swoon, do it properly. You can’t forget Kim Go-eun.”

Jongin hums. “Or Yoo In-na. She’s a beauty.”

Kyungsoo playfully wraps an arm around Jongin’s neck in a light chokehold. “Then what am I? Chopped liver?”

The group erupts into organized chaos once again, and Junmyeon can’t help his laughter as Kyungsoo ruffles the younger’s hair despite his whiny protests. Leave it to Chungha and Hwasa to whip out their phones to take pictures. Junmyeon places a hand on his chest as his laughter calms down, and his eyes fall on Yixing. The older man is in the middle of posing for Chungha, ruffling his soft hair to lay perfectly on his forehead.

Yixing is so  _ pretty _ , and Junmyeon doesn’t stop himself from staring. 

He doesn’t know why the man makes his heart flutter the way that it does. Sure, they’ve kissed and share a bed, but Yixing’s completely different from the man who's been trying to get in contact with him all day. Each time his phone vibrates, Junmyeon wants to throw it as far as he possibly can, and he doesn’t read the text messages or listen to the voicemails as he doesn’t want to get sucked back in. He doesn’t know the full truth, and he’s not sure if he wants to, but he knows that he’ll eventually have to return home and confront exactly what he’s been trying to ignore.

“Wait, you know what we should do tonight?” Jongin asks, resting his head on Kyungsoo’s thigh. “We should go out to a club!”

“Oh, that would be so fun! I’ve been  _ waiting  _ for someone to suggest a night out.”

“You could have suggested it yourself, Alcohol,” Jongin teases.

“Where should we go?”

Hwasa is already pulling out her phone to search for a place, but Kyungsoo speaks up.

“I know of the  _ perfect _ place.”

  
  
  
  


Later that evening, after stopping at their rented home to freshen up, eat a quick dinner, and collapse in their bedrooms for a much needed rest, the group finds themselves getting out of their car in front of a packed club. The club was apparently a popular one in Paris, and Kyungsoo had known about it because he came with a few of his work friends during a business trip before. Junmyeon feels a little awkward in a pair of colorblock leather pants that Chungha basically forced him into, but the loose fitting black button up isn’t so bad. He left a few of the top buttons undone after Jongin playfully roasts him.

The club is packed once they make their way inside, dancing and slightly drunken bodies moving at what appears to be hyperdrive. Junmyeon feels a little overwhelmed, French and American songs blasting through the speakers, but there’s a shot glass thrust into his hand by Jongin before he can dwell for too long.

“Drink up!” He shouts over the music. “You’ll thank me later!”

Junmyeon downs the shot, and the alcohol is so strong that it sends him into a short coughing fit.

The friends start their night with shot after shot, loosening themselves up before heading out onto the dance floor. Junmyeon joins with the encouragement of Chungha, who’s singing along with the song playing quite terribly, but the energy that’s radiating from her is infectious, so Junmyeon falls into a fit of laughter as they dance together. Chungha goes off to dance with Hwasa after a while, and Junmyeon doesn’t mind as he’s enjoying himself all on his own.

Junmyeon is fully relaxed after the stressful and confusing hours of the past, and his movements slow down a bit when he feels his back heating up. He turns slowly, brushing his slightly damp hair off of his forehead when he locks eyes with Yixing, who is standing at the bar. It’s almost like a sea part when he looks at him, and Junmyeon feels his breath hitch in his throat. For a few moments, he’s frozen under Yixing’s darkened gaze, and his feet remain rooted to the floor as bodies continue to move around him.

He feels a magnetic pull to Yixing, and he’s sure that it’s the alcohol doing all the talking, but Junmyeon makes no attempt to stop himself. 

“Not having fun?” Junmyeon asks, signaling for another drink.

Yixing chuckles softly. “I think you were having enough fun for the both of us.”

He sips on his Mai Thai, lips smacking at the flavor. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you were flirting with me, Yixing.”

The taller’s eyebrow quips, and he sets his drink down on the bartop. “What happened to us remaining friends, hmm?” Junmyeon expects to be touched, but Yixing crowds him instead. He sinks his teeth down into his lip as Yixing places his hands onto the bar in front of him.

“Friends flirt all the time,” Junmyeon teases. “Just look at Chungha and Hwasa.”

He watches as Yixing turns toward the women, who are dancing so closely together that one would assume that they were a couple if they didn’t know that Chungha had a wife back in Seoul. The two were always touching each other at some point or other, whether they were holding hands or pressing kisses to each other’s cheeks. Junmyeon sucks his lower lip between his teeth as he takes in Yixing’s profile, which glitters underneath the spotlights.

“How much have you had to drink tonight, Junmyeon?”

He whines. “That doesn’t matter. Come dance with me.”

Junmyeon pushes Yixing away a bit before grabbing his wrist, abandoning his drink and pulling the taller man towards the dance floor. Alcohol makes the usually quiet and unassuming Junmyeon a bit bolder than usual. He feels the confidence flowing through his veins as they lose themselves in the crowd. He doesn’t drink that often, so when he did, he had a tendency to forget his own tolerance and sometimes finds himself going a little overboard.

Right now, he’s teetering somewhere between tipsy and drunk, so he  _ thinks  _ he has half a brain to work with.

The starting chords of the next song starts, and he turns around to face Yixing with wide eyes. “I love this song!”

Junmyeon moves to the beat of the music, a touch out of sync because of the alcohol in his system, but he’s enjoying himself nonetheless. He can feel the bass of the song underneath his feet as he moves to the best of his ability, turning around to pull Yixing to him. Their breaths mix with how close they are as the song swells into the first chorus. For a few beats, Junmyeon and Yixing move together carefully, but their bodies move together as the song rises, and they’re soon pressed flush together as the song falls into the refrain.

All of the elements around them, ranging from the dancing bodies and even the music, seems to slow when Junmyeon feels Yixing plant his hands on his hips, turning Junmyeon around. Junmyeon’s back presses against Yixing’s solid chest as he grinds himself back against him. He feels Yixing’s breath ghost against his ear, and his own arm hooks around the back of Yixing’s neck while his fingers slide into his hair. 

Their dancing is extremely inappropriate, but Junmyeon can’t bring himself to care. He finds himself melting under Yixing’s touch, and his grinding has slowed. From the way that their bodies move as one to how close their faces are to one another, someone would assume they were simply tourists getting lost in the music. One of Yixing’s hands leaves the safety of Junmyeon’s hip, trailing over his abdomen and up to his chest, slipping underneath the fabric of his shirt. 

A soft moan is wrapped around a whimper as it spills from Junmyeon’s lips when he feels the cold of Yixing’s hands against his warm skin, and he tightens his grip on the hairs between his fingers. The song ends, their chests rising and falling in sync, and soon Yixing is grabbing one of Junmyeon’s hands. He’s frozen in his spot despite the pulling, and Yixing turns to close the space between them once more.

“Come with me.”

Junmyeon nods stiffly, and allows himself to be tugged along.

His heart settles in his throat as he follows Yixing through the thick crowd. The alcohol within his system has seemed to dissipate when the cool air of the back of the hallway hits him. He can breathe again, but he doesn’t make the effort to pull away. Thanks to the dim lighting for people to find their way, Junmyeon is able to get a solid look at Yixing’s backside.

Strangely, he feels comfortable with his fingers laced between Yixing’s. It’s not even about comfort, but he feels safe and as if he can fully put his trust in him. He tugs on Yixing’s hand to make him stop walking. When Yixing turns around, they just barely turn down a short hallway that leads to the back exit, and Junmyeon’s eyes cast downward when he feels Yixing’s hard gaze on him once again. He keeps his attention on their intertwined hands, and when Yixing hooks his thumb underneath his chin, he’s pulled out of his trance.

He sucks in a slow breath. “I want… I want to have you,” Junmyeon admits when their eyes meet again. “I feel like being selfish.”

Yixing brushes his thumb against Junmyeon’s lower lip while closing the space between them. “Junmyeon-ah,” he sighs.

“Please?” His voice is small, but his heart is heavy. He swears that it’s beating in his ears. “Will you let me be selfish? I’ve tried being friends and I’ve tried pushing you away, but I want—”

Junmyeon’s words die in his throat when Yixing captures his lips in a soft kiss, one that nearly takes all of his breath. Junmyeon’s lips part when he feels Yixing’s tongue brush against his lower lip, and he untangles their hands to stand on his toes and wrap his arms around Yixing’s neck. He stumbles in his attempt to keep Yixing close, desperate to feel  _ something  _ as he’s consumed in everything Yixing. Their lips move together like they have been doing this for a long time, and Junmyeon sighs contentedly when he feels his back press against the wall. After a few moments, they’re separating. 

Junmyeon is the one who pulls away, and he feels his cheeks burn pink. Everything about what they’re doing is wrong and Junmyeon knows this, but he can’t bring himself to think of the consequences— not right now, anyway.

Yixing dips down to press a kiss right below his right earlobe, and it causes Junmyeon to melt on contact. The taller man keeps him upright, and a shiver runs down his spine again when he hears Yixing’s breathy chuckle. His breath fans against Junmyeon’s neck, and he fists Yixing’s shirt.

“Should we get out of here?” Yixing asks, pulling back to look at Junmyeon.

He nods, and their fingers are intertwining again. Junmyeon’s heartbeat picks up again as he follows Yixing out of the club. They’re able to hail a cab and make the short commute back to the house. Junmyeon’s face feels warm as Yixing’s hand doesn’t leave from it’s spot on his thigh. Junmyeon is sure that he’s pale in the face, and he wants nothing more than to get out of the car. He attempts to calm his nerves, but he can feel Yixing’s eyes on him while he keeps his attention on the passing scenery.

When they arrive, they’re able to keep their hands to themselves before they get to the front door, and then they’re all over each other.

Junmyeon is  _ giggling  _ as they cross from the foyer, through the living room, and to the bedroom that they share. Yixing lightly grips his hips and presses kisses against his neck. They slowly undress one another. First, Yixing helps Junmyeon out of his shirt while Junmyeon works at his pants, tugging on the loops to pull Yixing closer to him. There’s barely enough space between them to slip a piece of paper through. When he feels his back against the mattress, Junmyeon looks up at Yixing and he can see the gears turning in his head. Junmyeon sits up with Yixing standing between his thighs, and lightly pressed his lips against his chest.

“I want to,” he affirms, pressing a trail of kisses against his skin.

“Are you sure?”

Junmyeon nods, and Yixing visibly relaxes. Junmyeon takes the opportunity to push the older man onto his back, settling himself on Yixing’s lap. Junmyeon has never been this bold in bed, not even with Seojun, and his mind goes black once more when he feels Yixing’s hands on his waist. Yixing sits up, keeping his arms laced around him as Junmyeon closes the space between their lips, trailing his fingers through his hair.

Their kiss grows hungrier, hands trailing along skin and bodies pressing against one another. Junmyeon allows himself to be taken apart one touch, one kiss, one stroke at a time, and it makes his eyes roll back every time he feels the ghost of Yixing’s lips on his skin.

Junmyeon’s body shakes with pleasure as he comes down for the third time that night, his skin damp with sweat and the otherwise silent room filled with their heavy breaths. Junmyeon is overwhelmed with the feelings swirling in his chest, but not as negatively as they had before. He wiggles closer to Yixing, who is brushing his damp hair out of his eyes. Junmyeon puts on his best puppy eyes when Yixing turns his attention to him under the glow of the moonlight, and falls into a fit of laughter as Yixing covers his face in kisses before they’re tangled in the sheets once more. 

  
  
  
  
  


When Junmyeon wakes, the sun is beginning to peek over the apartments and into the bedroom. He pulls the blanket to cover his eyes, hoping that it’ll be enough before he allows his body to slip back into a sleep state. Sadly, his body is no longer asleep, so Junmyeon stretches his limbs and rolls onto his back. He’s gratefully for taking a shower once he and Yixing had gotten enough of indulging in one another, as the ache in his legs has finally set in, and he wasn’t looking to get out of bed any time soon.

Junmyeon watches Yixing’s chest rise and fall for a few moments before Yixing takes a deep breath. His eyes open slowly. “Were you watching me?” He asks, voice no higher than a whisper.

The younger shakes his head. “No, I was just…”

“You were watching me,” Yixing teases. “Admit it.”

“Make me,” Junmyeon laughs, but he’s silenced when Yixing crowds his space. Yixing leans down to kiss him, but Junmyeon covers his mouth. “Wait, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”

Yixing’s head tilts, nipping at Junmyeon’s hand. “Mm, I don’t think I care.”

Junmyeon loses himself in the kiss that Yixing presses against his lips, and he arches off of the mattress when he feels the older’s hand skim down his side to grip his hip. He gasps, and Yixing takes the opportunity to lick into his mouth. Junmyeon swallows down the moan that’s building in his frame, and his arm drapes around Yixing’s neck when his leg is hitched up at Yixing’s waist. “Yixing,” he whispers. His brain turns to mush when he feels Yixing’s hand slip down into his boxers, and when he’s kissed at the base of his throat. He’s allowing himself to be consumed again, but he’s immediately snapped out of it when there’s a gentle knock on the bedroom door.

“Oppa, Yixing-ssi!” Hwasa raps her knuckles against the door again. “Breakfast is here, come on out!”

Yixing buries his face into the crook of Junmyeon’s neck as he calls out.

“We’re coming!”

It takes a few more kisses before they’re finally out of bed, and quickly freshen up. They join their friends in the living room, where everyone is dressed comfortably in their pajamas, sipping on coffee with an assortment of omelettes, fruit, pastries, Belgian waffles, potatoes, and fresh orange juice. Junmyeon grabs one of the plates to get some of the food, and graciously thanks Yixing when he pours him a cup of coffee. 

“Alright, one more day,” Kyungsoo says while sipping his orange juice. “What do we do?”

“How about we keep it simple tonight? Spend the day at home, make some dinner, and then end the night with ”

“We should get dessert and take it to the Tower. Picnic, but make it nighttime.”

“Can we get tiramisu?” Junmyeon asks, and he feels Yixing lightly grip his thigh.

Hwasa nudges him. “Myeon-ah, what’s your obsession with that stuff?”

“Yah, don’t knock it till you try it!” 

  
  
  
  
  


That evening, after they tear themselves away from watching  _ Goblin _ , the group finds themselves at the Eiffel Tower. Junmyeon was looking forward to it, as he had never seen the monument up close. Chungha, Jongin, Hwasa and Kyungsoo decide to climb to the top, but Junmyeon decides to stay on the ground with Yixing. He didn’t have a fear of heights per say, but going so high was sure to make him queasy. The line is a little long but not too much, so they decide to walk to a local store and bakery to grab what they wanted for the nighttime picnic. While he walks beside Yixing, Junmyeon snaps a few more pictures, not wanting to forget the trip. He’s sure that he’s taken over a hundred pictures in the matter of three days, but he’s unsure of when (of  _ if _ ) he’ll be returning any time soon, so he wants to soak up the memories for as long as he can. 

His senses finally come back to him when he remembers that he’s not the only person going on this short shopping trip. He locks his phone and shoves it down into his coat’s pocket. 

“Have you had fun?” He asks, cheeks burning.

Yixing tilts his head. “I’ve enjoyed being here, and getting to know your friends.”

“I’m glad. You fit right in with everyone so easily.”

“Do I?”

Junmyeon hums. “It’s almost as if you’ve known them forever. You can handle everyone’s personalities, even when we’re being dramatic and talking over one another— I’m really glad you came.”

A smile creeps onto Yixing’s features. “You look like a kid in a candy store, you know.”

His nose scrunches. “It’s just so beautiful here. I’m not sure of when I’ll be able to do this again.”

“What do you mean?”

“We usually only take this trip once a year,” Junmyeon bites his lip. “We usually try to visit someplace new every time, but getting the money together for this trip was hard enough. It’s easier for them, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but they’re used to taking extravagant trips. I’d started saving even before we decided on a destination.”

Junmyeon looks up towards the twinkling lights in the sky, and hears the sound of a camera shutter. He turns, and feels his cheeks burn even more. “Did you take a picture of me?”

The older man looks at his phone. “You look cute.”

“Can I see it?” Junmyeon moves over, and Yixing shows him the phone.

Thanks to the lighting from the shop beside them, the lighting reflects off of Junmyeon’s tanned skin tone beautifully. His eyes are sparkling, and he suddenly feels shy. His cheeks tinge pink as he brushes his hands over the breast of his coat. He averts his attention down to his shoes, and pushes his hair out of his eyes. He feels as though they’re on a date, but he knows better than to think that far.

Yixing lifts his chin, kissing him before he gets the chance to say anything.

Junmyeon returns the kiss with ease, and gently wraps his arms around Yixing.

They stay like that for a while, wrapped up in each other and completely ignoring the fact that they’re obstructing walking traffic. He knows that they only have to hurry and get their desserts and wine for the night, but Junmyeon is completely entranced, especially once Yixing deepens their kiss. They don’t come up for air until they hear someone whistling, and Junmyeon tugs his spit slick lower lip between his teeth, and immediately feels his cheeks warm. 

“You’re a good kisser,” Junmyeon mumbles, earning a chuckle from Yixing.

The older man brushes a hand through Junmyeon’s hair, pushing his hair back before pressing another kiss against his lips. “You’re not so bad yourself,” Yixing slides a hand to rest against his hip and pull him closer. “It’s going to be so hard keeping my hands off of you once we’re back in Seoul.”

Yixing takes his hand, and throws his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders to keep him tucked into his side. Junmyeon feels an overwhelming amount of comfort wash over him, and loops his free arm around Yixing’s waist.

“Mm, Junmyeon-ah. You’re going to be the death of me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter filled with the chaos that is the friend group! I'm sure their group chat name is something chaotic, but I wonder what it would be ... 🤔.
> 
> I wrote this chapter instead of doing my final which is due in like ... less than two hours lol, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Please leave comments and kudos as I love interacting with you guys and they help inspire me for the next chapter.
> 
> If you want, you can follow my Twitter & ask me questions on Curious Cat @jcnnierubies! Until the next update! ❤️


	9. nine

Junmyeon returns to work a day after landing in Seoul, desperate to catch up on sleep. He hated that the vacation was over, but he was happy to have the mental break as well as the new memories. Those three days were needed, and although he shouldn’t admit it, he enjoyed the time he spent with Yixing. He doesn’t know if what they’ve done could be considered as the start of an affair, but for once he felt as though he was able to enjoy himself. He was able to  _ breath _ , and Junmyeon wonders if he’s making the right decisions. 

Although they lived in the same building, Junmyeon thought it was best for them to take separate taxis from the airport, as they’d be returning with luggage and it could look suspicious to prying eyes. Once their friends have taken their own respective rides home, the two taking separate cars doesn’t stop Yixing from sending him off with a searing kiss that instantly warms him up despite the slightly colder weather, and it had Junmyeon’s head in the clouds for the past twenty hours.

“Sunbae!” Jennie grins as Junmyeon comes in carrying a box of pastries and coffees from the Coffee Bay Cafe nearby. “How was your trip? Did you bring back something good?”

Junmyeon smiles. “It was great, thanks for asking. Of course I did; come on.”

Jennie helps him with the coffees, and passes them out to the editing team. He shares the pastries as well, and reaches down into his tote back to share the souvenirs that he purchased. He bought everyone Bulgari chocolates, which earns grateful bows.

“Whoa, Sunbae!” Seulgi grasps the box. “Are you rich?”

“Seulgi, that’s not appropriate.” Junmyeon greets Irene, handing her a box of chocolates and an Iced Americano, followed by giving a short bow. “Did you enjoy your trip?”

“It was great, thank you for the time off. Did I miss anything important while I was away?”

Irene squints. “Did you  _ actually  _ have fun during your trip or did you think about work the entire time?”

“No, no, I have fun,” Junmyeon chuckles while plucking his cream cheese bagel from the bag. “I’m just ready to get back into it.”

Irene almost looks as though she doesn’t believe him, but she waves it off and sips her drink. She fills him in on what he missed: the company would be holding a welcoming party soon for their newest authors and Jieun would be holding a poetry reading afterwards. Junmyeon was looking forward to both events as their Spring book readings and welcome parties had the best themes, and usually had a solid turnout in terms of ticket purchases. Strangely, he even enjoyed the organized chaos that came with looking for venues and caterers.

After greeting everyone and downing his treats while responding to emails, Junmyeon heads down to grab some book prints that were waiting for him at the front desk.

Jisoo smiles brightly as he approaches. “Oh, Jisoo-ssi. I love your hair.”

Her hair has been dyed an espresso tone with lighter toned lowlights. Her smile lights up her face while searching around her desk. “Thank you, Junmyeon-ssi. I have a date, and I wanted to try something new. The boxes are on the cart. They’re heavy, and oh, someone sent you something.” 

“I’m sure you’ll blow them away,” he compliments. He grips the cart as Jisoo grabs what she’s looking for. “Did the postman say who it was from?”

Her head shakes. “I was just about to call you to come pick it up, but here you go.”

He thanks Jisoo and wheels the cart behind him as he flips the envelope for some form of an identifying marker. There’s only a wax seal stamp of a bee, so once he’s in the elevator, Junmyeon peels the envelope open and is greeted with a handwritten note.

_ Would you meet me for lunch later? _

-Yixing

If Junmyeon had forgotten that he was in the elevator at his job, he would have screamed at the top of his lungs, but he keeps his form. Instead, his cheeks immediately burn red and his feet stomp unceremoniously against the floor, but he’s able to straighten himself out once he reaches the office floor. He passes the cart off to Seulgi so she can set up for their afternoon meeting with Chaeyoung, and he excuses himself to the stairwell to make a quick phone call.

The phone rings a couple of times before the line picks up.

“Did you get my note?”

Junmyeon blushes. “This feels so old school, Yixing. I knew you were older than me, but I didn’t think you were  _ that  _ old.”

“Yah, should I revoke the invitation?”

He nearly trips himself as he takes a seat on the steps. “No, I’d love to have lunch. Can we get chicken?”

Junmyeon feels his cheeks warm when he hears Yixing’s soft laughter. “We can get chicken,” he affirms. “Should I pick you up at noon?”

“Noon is good, and I’ll meet you a bit down the street. I don’t want anyone to see.”

He hears Yixing speaking Chinese before responding to him. “No one’s going to catch us, but if it makes you feel more comfortable, I can do that.”

“You  _ say  _ that, but we have to be careful. My fiance’s job isn’t that far from here,” his voice drops into a whisper and he looks down at his shoes. “His coworkers are kind of scary.”

Yixing hums. “How are they scary?”

Junmyeon is instantly reminded of the various events and dinners that he’s attended with Seojun over the years. At first, they were a little fun to go to as he learned about what Seojun did and got to meet his coworkers. Year after year, though, it seemed as if they continuously talked about the same thing and had the same theme for their Christmas parties. He doesn’t know how many more times he can pull a black suit out of his closet and listen to SKY university grads talk about their family’s company or the new expensive car that they bought.

“They’re all money men and dinners or events with them are so boring. We always go to these stuffy dinners and the events are always two hours too long. I feel like a child who can’t touch anything— I think they’re robots.”

The other man laughs when he whispers his last sentence. “Junmyeon-ah, I’m sure you’re cute, but stop pouting. I doubt they’re robots; my money’s on aliens.”

Junmyeon falls into a short fit of laughter, and opens his mouth to respond, but the sound of a door closing startles him. “I have to go. I’ll see you.”

Yixing hums before hanging up, and he stands to head back to the office. Before he goes, though, Junmyeon takes a peek over the staircase railing, but he doesn’t see anyone. He forces down the queasy feeling in this stomach, and heads back to work. His footsteps feel oddly light as he heads towards his desk, and he thinks there’s a spring in his step, but he clears his throat and calms himself once he takes a seat at his desk.

He reads through a new manuscript, using his pen to make editorial suggestions as he goes.

The morning passes easily, and soon enough Jennie and Seulgi are hopping up from their desk to get lunch. They’re chatting about what they want to have, and say goodbye to Junmyeon. He’d be a liar if he said he hadn’t been watching the clock since his phone call with Yixing, but even though he’s excited to see him again, he can’t shake the nervousness that was pooling in his stomach. It’s easy for one to assume that they were simply a pair of friends who wanted to get lunch together, but what they’ve done can’t be ignored.

Junmyeon slips on his coat at five past noon after finishing up his edits on a paragraph. When he leaves the building, he realizes how much colder the air has gotten, and he wishes that he had a scarf. He tightens the coat around his frame, and he keeps his footsteps quick as he looks for Yixing’s parked car, and he finds Yixing about a block away from the building. He breaks into a light jog to get into the car.

Junmyeon visibly shivers once he’s inside, and it’s not simply from the cold, but the way that Yixing’s hand slides into his hair.

He places his hands in front of the passenger side vents to warm up his hands while turning to face the older man. “Did you miss me?” He grins, leaning back after he’s warmed his hands.

“What do you think?”

Junmyeon smiles, and Yixing leans forward to close the space between them. The kiss is gentle, and Junmyeon is careful not to grip the front of Yixing’s crisp white shirt. He decides to settle a hand against Yixing’s thigh, leaning over the middle console. The kiss doesn’t last very long, but it makes Junmyeon’s chest swell. He manages to steal another kiss before Yixing pulls away completely, and they’re soon heading off to the restaurant.

The restaurant is a little further than Junmyeon was expecting, but he’s glad that they’re further away from the city. The restaurant isn’t big, but it’s comfortable without being overcrowded. It’s clearly a popular spot, and Junmyeon felt like a cartoon character floating towards the kitchen when the smell of the heavenly scented food hit his nose.

His eyes stretch when he sees the menu, and he wants to order  _ everything _ , but he thinks with his head instead of his stomach. They place an order for some fried chicken, kimchi fried rice to share, and french fries. 

The duo settled down to eat, and Junmyeon had never talked so much during a lunch “date” before. It sounds terrible, but it’s true. He’s been on lunch dates with Seojun before, but they were always interrupted or Seojun would be on a phone call for the most part of the hour. Junmyeon would be so excited to see him, but the excitement immediately deflated when he talked on the phone throughout the ride to the restaurant or while they were waiting for their meals.

“I’ve had fried chicken at nearly every restaurant in Seoul,” Junmyeon exaggerates. “But this is by far the best I’ve ever had.”

Yixing chuckles. “I’m glad you like it. A friend of mine owns the place.”

His eyes widened. “Yixing-ah, how many people do you know in the city?”

“Mm, plenty. I’ll introduce you to him someday.”

They fall into comfortable conversation once again, and Junmyeon’s cheeks hurt from how much he’s smiling. Sadly, he had gotten used to being ignored by Seojun, and he didn’t bother sparking up a conversation that he knew he’d have to keep up on his own. He never talks about his job no matter how excited he might have been about a new book he was editing, nor did he talk about what could have been bothering him. He spent the entirety of his lunch break either feeling like a fish out of water or pushing his food around his plate while obsessively checking his watch.

He’d spend the break eating a steak that was way too expensive, and sitting with his back rail straight as he watched Seojun talk on the phone. He didn’t ask why he was invited if Seojun was going to do that, but considering that it would lead to an argument and Seojun accusing him of not wanting to spend time with him, he kept his mouth shut.

With Yixing, though, Junmyeon feels at ease. Conversation flows easily between them, whether it’s Junmyeon teasing Yixing for his “old man” habits or Yixing teasing him for the way that when he smiles, he resembles a bunny.

They walk back to the car with Junmyeon’s arm wrapped tightly around Yixing’s, both for warmth and simply to be close to him. Junmyeon doesn’t want the hour to end— he wishes that he had more time to simply  _ be.  _ To ignore the problems that are waiting for him at home since he has messages and voicemails from Seojun that have gone unanswered. Junmyeon is aware that they’re being far too open right now, but he can’t bring himself to care, especially as Yixing backs him up against the side of his car and kisses him breathless. 

Yixing pulls his car up to the curb a little ways from Junmyeon’s building, and he doesn’t want to get out. It’s the most fun he’s had in a long time, and the bubble that surrounds them will burst the moment he steps out of the car. He pouts when he checks the time on his phone, and gathers his coat.

“I had a lot of fun,” Junmyeon says once he’s adjusted his coat collar. “Can we do this again?”

Yixing hums, but his expression is serious. “I don’t know. I’m working on a huge case right now, and I’m not sure of when I’ll have free time like this again.”

“Oh, well that’s okay.” He attempts to hide his disappointment with a soft smile. Their bubble causes Junmyeon to forget that Yixing has an important career. “I still enjoyed myself.”

The older man’s head tilts a little, and he reaches over to cup Junmyeon’s cheek. The touch is soft, and Junmyeon gently nuzzles against his palm. Yixing pulls him closer, and Junmyeon places his hand on the center console to steady himself. As many times as he’s kissed Yixing in the last few days, he still can’t help the way his heart flutters uncontrollably in his chest or his breath hitches in his throat when the scent of Yixing’s cologne takes over his senses.

Yixing’s lips are warm although the kiss is short, but it’s enough to make butterflies flutter in his stomach. He wants nothing more to crawl over the center console and right onto Yixing’s lap to make the most of the last fifteen minutes before he’s supposed to be at work, but he knows better than to do so. Instead, he savors their kiss as if it were to be the last. He doesn’t expect Yixing’s teasing kiss against the spot just below his earlobe, which causes Junmyeon to let out a giggle that fills the space of the car.

“I promise I’ll call you when I have free time.”

Junmyeon nods as his eyes close when a kiss is pressed to his cheek and his nose, and he finally untangles himself from Yixing to get out of the car. He waves goodbye as Yixing pulls away from the curb and merges into traffic, turning to head back to the building.

What he doesn’t see is the black clothed person standing in the distance, a DSLR in their hands, watching his every move.

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon returns home later that evening, tired and in desperate need of an hour’s relaxation before he even thinks about getting ready for another workday. He toes off his shoes and sticks his things into the coat closet before walking further into the apartment. Junmyeon heads towards the kitchen, ready to reheat his takeout when he hears the bedroom door open. He instantly freezes, and his hands suddenly feel clammy. He hadn’t spoken to Seojun in about three days, and he wanted nothing more than to keep it that way, even if they did live together. 

He feels sick when Seojun wraps his arms around him, and Junmyeon grips the handle of the fridge. “Let me go, please.”

“Junmyeon-ah…”

“I said  _ let me go _ !”

Junmyeon pushes his hands against Seojun’s arms. He wonders if he even has a right to be upset with Seojun anymore. He doesn’t even know the circumstances or the background of what he heard, but Junmyeon isn’t stupid. He wants to believe whatever story Seojun is going to come up with, and he has half a heart to apologize for being quick in his judgement, but he bites his tongue.

He turns and puts some space between them.

“Jun…”

“Who was she?”

“Baby—”

“ _ Who _ was she, Seojun? Don’t make me ask again.”

Junmyeon doesn’t take his eyes off of Seojun, who seems bewildered that he presses for answers. He doesn’t know if he should be ready to have his heart broken or what, but his anxiety is raising slowly but surely. His stomach tightens uncomfortably the more that he’s engulfed in silence, and he wants to scream. He waits, attempting to muster up some kind of courage and some kind of willpower to keep himself grounded.

“She was just a friend that I ran into. She was a little too drunk—”

“Bullshit,” Junmyeon interjects. “Stop trying to hand me  _ bullshit  _ on a silver platter. I don’t feel like being lied to right now.”

“I’m not lying to you, Junmyeon-ah. Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he responds sarcastically as his appetite fades. “Do you not remember saying that you couldn’t wait until I was gone so you could get some ‘goddamn peace and quiet in this house’? What, you couldn’t wait until I was gone to fuck someone else?”

Seojun rolls his eyes, and instantly crowds his space. “Junmyeon-ah, I’m warning you.”

“What are you? My father?”

Junmyeon scoffs and moves to brush past Seojun, but his wrist is caught and he’s pushed back towards the counter. His lower back presses into it, and his chest rises and falls rapidly. “What crawled in your ass while you were in Paris, hmm?”

Another man did, but Junmyeon squares his shoulders and keeps eye contact in a weak attempt at standing his ground. He’s not about to let Seojun try to flip the conversation onto him, and he exhales heavily when Seojun moves his face closer to his own. 

“Tell me who she was.”

“Junmyeon-ah,  _ stop _ .”

“Tell me, and I’ll leave it alone.”

His eyes search Seojun’s face, and he prays that the next thing out of his mouth is the truth or an apology or anything other than pure bullshit. Seconds feel like minutes as he waits, and he doesn’t know if he can keep up with whatever game Seojun is playing. He hadn’t even realized that his ducts welled with tears until he shook his head, and made a move to finally leave the kitchen. 

“She was a  _ friend _ , Junmyeon-ah.”

“How many more times are you going to lie to me?”

Seojun sighs. “Stop grasping for straws, Jun.”

“I’m not grasping for straws, Seojun! I’m asking for you to be honest with me for once in your fucking—!”

Junmyeon’s voice trails as he feels a sharp stinging in his cheek, and he tugs his lower lip between his teeth. He swallows thickly, and stands straight once more. His shoulders square, and he moves around Seojun without saying another word. He hears Seojun scrambling behind him as he walks toward the bedroom, and feeling Seojun’s hand against his wrist shortly before he crosses the threshold finally makes him stop. He snatches his wrist, and turns around to face him.

“Sleep on the couch.”

“Junmyeon-ah—”

“Leave me alone.”

He shuts the door as soon as Seojun opens his mouth, and attempts to keep his tears at bay, but they cascade down his cheeks like a rolling river. Junmyeon sobs, gasping for breath, and sinks down to the floor while pressing his back against the door. Seojun knocks against it, but Junmyeon ignores it as he draws his legs against his chest. His heart aches, and he wishes to be left alone, but he knows that Seojun is sitting right outside of the door. Maybe it was wrong of him to be a hypocrite— to demand answers about some faceless woman as if he hadn’t slept with and continuously kissed Yixing in the past few days. He’s overwhelmed to say the least, and he doesn’t know how to deal with the pain building in his heart. 

Junmyeon stands up from the floor once he’s calmed down, but makes the move to lock it as he stands. He doesn’t want Seojun to come into the room, not after he hit him. He dumps himself onto the bed and pulls his legs close, burying his face into his pillow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more of Sulay in this chapter, and we're getting into the angst that I love!
> 
> Who do you think is the person watching them? What's their motive? 👀 Comment below!
> 
> Thank you again for your kudos, comments, and for reading my work! It truly means a lot.
> 
> Please feel free to add me on Twitter & CC @jcnnierubies, and until the next update! 🤎


	10. ten

A few days have passed since their confrontation, and Junmyeon still hasn’t forgiven Seojun. Right about now, he could care less about the woman and more about the fact that Seojun had the audacity to raise a hand at him, and also to actually lay a hand on him. He was still forcing Seojun to sleep on the couch, locking the door behind him after Seojun showers and puts on his pajamas. Junmyeon has always been relatively petty when he needed to be, and shunning Seojun with the silent treatment was the easiest thing he could think of. 

Junmyeon buries himself into the sudden influx of work that crosses his desk. He’s been busy assisting their interns with the upcoming welcoming event and the poetry reading, while also ensuring to keep up with editing the stack of manuscripts on his desk. The silent treatment had been relatively easy considering that they rarely saw each other unless it was time for bed, so he spent a few nights sitting at the coffee table with takeout  _ jajangmyeon _ while watching an episode of  _ Running Man. _

In truth, he misses Yixing. He misses at least texting with him, and whenever he was sitting alone in the apartment, he wonders what he could be doing. If Junmyeon knows him like he thinks he does, then Yixing is probably sitting in his office with his glasses on, reading through his fancy case files, and holding conversations in either Korean, Mandarin, or English. Junmyeon had been ridiculously turned on when Yixing spoke English to one of the waiters in Paris, and he’s not sure of how he managed to keep it in his pants.

He shouldn’t be thinking about another man when he’s surrounded by elements of his fiance and (despite still being upset with him) wearing one of his shirts, but Junmyeon allows himself to get wrapped up in a fantasy.

His mind wanders to the thought of Yixing, to the way that his hands would grip his thighs, to the way he kissed him breathless, and to the way he looked at him as if he were the only man in the world. Yixing is everything that he could have ever wanted, and he does most of the things he’s always wanted from Seojun. Junmyeon doesn’t ask for much, and he especially isn’t a high maintenance person who expects to be waited on hand and foot, but he’d like to have a little bit of support. He’d like to feel as though he’s loved. He twists his ring while curled up on the couch, chewing on the inside of his cheek while playing a game on his phone.

He may be upset with him, but he’s been waiting for Seojun to come home for the better part of an hour before starting on dinner, but his stomach protests his decision. He decides to make spicy kimchi stew, but he unconsciously continues to check his phone in hopes that Seojun would call.

As the stew cooks, Junmyeon is busy washing the rice and  _ attempting  _ to distract himself with both his task and the drama playing on television. He rinses and washes the rice twice more, and he’s completely oblivious to the sound of the passcode being put in  _ and  _ the front door opening. He’s just about to put the inner pot back into the rice cooker when he feels a pair of arms wrap around him. The scent of Seojun’s cologne instantly clogs his senses, but he pushes him off with his elbow. 

“What’s up with you?” Junmyeon can hear the annoyance in his tone.

“I’m still upset with you.”

Seojun scoffs. “It’s been  _ four days _ , baby. I’ve apologized to you multiple times since then, and I wouldn’t have done that had—”

“If I hadn’t what? You think me being angry with you is enough cause for you to hit me?”

“That came out wrong, Junmyeon-ah.”

He turns on the rice cooker and turns around to face his fiance. He looks perfectly tailored as always, hair combed off of his forehead and clad in a crisp Tom Ford suit that fits his form perfectly. If Junmyeon wasn’t annoyed with him, he probably would have jumped him the moment he stepped into the apartment.

“I’ve apologized to you. What more do you want?”

“Saying I’m sorry but blaming your atrocious actions on me is  _ not  _ an apology. I did nothing to you.”

“Accusing me of sleeping with a friend is nothing? I’m not seeing the big picture here.”

“Of course you’re not,” Junmyeon sighs. “It’s not just about that, it’s about the fact that you’re always doing this, Seojun. It’s always my fault and I’m supposed to accept your piece of shit apologies every time. You’re always late or you never show up or you make promises that you don’t plan on keeping and it’s getting on my nerves.”

“What do you want me to do, Junmyeon?”

The lack of effort frustrates him. “I want you to stop being so goddamn  _ clueless _ , Seojun! You’re out with your coworkers more than you go out with me, your  _ fiance _ , and you act like you don’t care about that!”

Junmyeon is growing more and more impatient as the time goes on. He’s so used to holding his tongue in regard to everything that’s been happening between them, and he doesn’t know why this moment in particular is enough to make him finally stop holding his tongue. He doesn’t  _ want  _ to argue with him and he doesn’t want for there to be ugly tension in the apartment for the second time that week, but if he holds on to his frustrations any longer, then there’s a chance that he might explode. 

“Junmyeon-ah, we go out all the time—”

“To  _ company  _ dinners! When we’re not sitting in some boring restaurant listening to you crunch numbers with your coworkers, we’re stuck at some equally boring bar doing the exact same thing. We spend more time with them than we do with each other!”

“Baby, we’re still together when we do though, right?”

Tears well up in Junmyeon’s eyes, and he feels like screaming. “You can’t honestly think that, Seojun. You can’t think that going to a company dinner is the same as taking me out on a date. What happened to our movie nights? Us trying new restaurants or God forbid you fucking me on a nightly basis?”

It’s Seojun’s turn to get angry apparently, a huff falling from the taller man’s lips as he places his hands on his hips. Junmyeon’s body feels abnormally warm as Seojun’s eyes rake from his feet and back up to his face. Their eyes meet, and Junmyeon swallows thickly.

“Those company dinners are what can afford you all the  _ shit  _ you keep asking for, Junmyeon-ah. The vacations with your bratty friends, that eighteen million won ring on your finger. You think I got where I am by sitting in a corner?”

“I’m not talking about that, you know that.”

Seojun cuts a glare at him. “Then what are you saying, hmm? You bring up all of this when I come home like you always do— what’s your problem?”

Junmyeon sinks his teeth into his lower lip as he turns away, pretending to focus on stirring the pot of stew as he feels a few tears spilling. The couple has had arguments before. They’ve had disagreements and moments where they didn’t want to talk to one another, but Junmyeon has  _ never  _ confronted Seojun about the sudden flip when they got engaged. Seojun was never there for him in the way that he wants him to be. Junmyeon’s guilt is eating at him too, so he doesn’t know if he’s lashing out at Seojun because he’s upset with himself or because he’s simply had enough. 

His hands press into the countertop as he feels Seojun still looming around him. The tension is thick, so thick that you could cut it with a knife, but Junmyeon turns back after a moment or two.

“Seojun-ah,” Junmyeon presses, brushing the back of his hand against his cheeks. “Do you still want to marry me?” He swallows the lump in his throat. “Do you still love me?”

He waits with bated breath while keeping his eyes on Seojun. It’s sad, but Junmyeon wants his cake and he wants to eat it too. He wishes that he could make Seojun turn back into the man he used to be, but he knows that there’s no chance of the man he once knew returning. The piercing sound of Seojun’s ringtone cuts the silence in the apartment, and Junmyeon feels his chest slowly tighten as he watches him reach for the phone. Junmyeon feels more tears welling in his ducts as Seojun checks the caller ID.

“I swear, if you answer that phone I’m going to leave.”

Seojun seems to contemplate his choices, but he ultimately answers.

More tears spill over the brim, and he’s crushed even more when Seojun goes into the bedroom. Junmyeon can hear Seojun’s conversations, something about getting drinks at whatever stupid restaurant, so he turns off the cooktop and pulls on the hoodie that’s draped over the back of the couch. He slips on his shoes and stands near the front door to see if Seojun will come out of the room. He counts down from one hundred, fingers gripping the hems of his sleeves as he gets closer to zero.

Misty eyes don’t leave the door when he mumbles out the number ten, and he slows down his counting in hopes that Seojun will come out of the room and put before his work for once. Junmyeon reaches zero, and he repeats it three times more before he accepts what’s been dished out in front of him, letting out a broken sob as he finally leaves the apartment.

He’s overwhelmed by the feelings spreading within his chest, nearly feeling as though his heart isn’t beating adequately, and he tries to keep his crying at bay as he makes his way through the luxurious apartment building. He scrubs his hands against his cheeks to rid them of tears before he crosses through the lobby. The night is chillier than he had been expecting, so he pulls his sleeves over his hands as he hails a cab and slips off into the night.

  
  
  
  
  


Junmyeon drinks down the glass of soju with ease, toying with the half-eaten bowl of french fries that have kept him from getting completely hammered. He wants nothing more than to drink away the memories of the night, but no amount of alcohol will fill the void of the silence he was met with then he asked Seojun if he still loved him. The silence was deafening, and it made Junmyeon’s stomach clench tightly just thinking about it.

It was wrong of him to drink on an empty stomach, but he can’t bring himself to care. His fries have gotten cold now, and he wants nothing more than to bury himself into a hole.

He angrily pushes the bowl away from him, and drops his head onto the tabletop.

Is he really crying over cold french fries? Maybe, but he knows better than to chop it up to a bowl of cold food.

Junmyeon pulls his phone from his pocket and he’s not surprised to be greeted without a single notification. He sighs self deprecatingly, and stands up to leave, only to stumble on drunken legs into a passing man who spills a glass of red wine onto himself. Junmyeon’s eyes stretch, and he almost trips over himself to grab some napkins.

“A-Ahjussi, I’m so sorry,” Junmyeon bows at a perfect angle as he speaks, attempting to press the napkins into the expensive white shirt. The man is having none of it. 

“Don’t you pay attention to where you’re going!?”

“I’m sorry…”

His voice trails as the man slaps his hands away, and he suddenly feels self conscience when a few patrons look their way. “I’m supposed to be meeting my wife soon and all you can offer is a meager apology? Yah, do you do know how much this shirt cost?”

Junmyeon takes the verbal beating, feeling much smaller than he already had as he feels more eyes on him to see what all the fuss was about. He feels goosebumps rise on his skin all while feeling hot all over, and he grips the sleeve of his sweater, but he keeps his head bowed apologetically in an attempt to keep the man from getting angier with him.

His plan fails.

“Yah, aren’t you listening to me, you bastard!?”

He’s lifting his head when there’s an unexpected kick to his skin, and Junmyeon falters in pain.

“Ahjussi, I’ll pay to have the shirt cleaned. I can—”

“I need the shirt now, you idiot. Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?”

He instinctively flinches when the man’s hand raises as though he’s going to hit him, eyes squeezing shut as he waits for a blow that never comes. Junmyeon straightens himself and peers at the man through misty eyes to see his arm caught in someone else’s hand, and it makes his heart race when he sees who it is.

Yixing.

He’s dressed casually in an all black outfit with a camouflage Canada Goose jacket over top, and Junmyeon instantly feels his cheeks warm. 

“Were you about to hit him?” He hears Yixing ask the now stuttering man. 

“H-He ruined my shirt! I spent a lot of money on it, and today is my anniversary!”

“You seem to have spent nineteen thousand won on this shirt at best. Does that give you reason to put your hands on him?”

The man doesn’t answer then, and Junmyeon is still too nervous to look up even when he feels a hand on his wrist, pulling him up from the ground. He’s aware that it’s Yixing, but he’s too embarrassed to look him in the eye. His fingers nervously grip the hem of his sleeve, and despite his better judgement, he bows once again.

“I’m truly sorry about your shirt, sir,” he speaks, although his voice is thick. “You can send me the bill and I’ll take care of it.”

There’s a short second of silence before the man seemingly waves him off almost frantically. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

Junmyeon looks up just as the man scurries away, and he allows himself to be pulled away from the prying eyes of other patrons. He doesn’t allow himself to be pulled far, as he yanks his arm free from Yixing’s grip once they reach the lobby of the restaurant. There’s far less people there, and Junmyeon finally feels his words coming back to him.

“I have to pay my bill,” he speaks softly. “I didn’t pay…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s covered with my tab.”

Junmyeon’s jaw locks as he looks up at the taller man. He doesn’t know how Yixing knew where he was, let alone where he came from, but his chest feels tight and he feels like he’s on the verge of panicking.

If he had it his way, he’d run away and never come back.

It’s a miracle that he even has more tears in his eyes when he feels another wave drip down his cheeks, and he attempts to wipe them away before someone thinks Yixing just broke up with him or something. He feels Yixing move in closer to him, and Junmyeon steps away, but Yixing easily laces an arm around his waist to stop him. Junmyeon presses his face against Yixing’s chest, body shaking as a sob racks through him. He feels bad for both getting his shirt wet and making the other man feel as though he has to clean up his mistakes. Yixing lists the left breast of his coat to cover him up from prying eyes.

He’s not sure if it’s to protect his dignity or not, but the action makes his chest swell.

A few minutes pass, and Junmyeon finally decides to get himself together. He turns away from him as he attempts to clean up his appearance, but it’s to no avail as his eyes are still rimmed red.

“Junmyeon-ah,” Yixing hums. “Should we leave?”

He nods as he knows his voice is raw, allowing for Yixing to slip his fingers between his own before he’s gently tugged out of the restaurant. He goes through the motions of slipping into the front seat of Yixing’s awaiting car at the valet, sinking down into the leather and keeping his hands in his lap. He’s been in the luxurious vehicle a handful of times, but for some odd reason he feels like he’s experiencing it for the first time all over again.

  
  


The drive is relatively silent save for the soft R&B that fills the space, and Junmyeon keeps his eyes on the passing scenery.

“Thank you,” he speaks once he feels as though his voice is back to normal. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, that man was an asshole, and I wasn’t going to let him keep berating you like that. Most of all, he shouldn’t have tried to hit you.”

“What were you doing there?”

“I was meeting with some clients for that case I mentioned. I wanted to make them feel comfortable while we talked.”

Junmyeon nods. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere comfortable.”

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon is unsure of how long they’ve been in the car, but he wakes up to the car being parked. It’s still running, and he blinks sleep from his eyes when he notices Yixing leaning against the hood. Once fully out of his sleep haze, Junmyeon realizes that they’re at Cheongna Lake Park. He looks around the car for a minute and pulls a coat from the backseat. He slips it on over his hoodie before getting out of the car to join him.

“It’s cold out here,” he says. “We should get back in the car.”

Yixing turns to him, and brushes his dark locks out of his eyes. “What’s going on with you, Junmyeon-ah? There’s no way that you were only crying because some wine spilled on that man’s shirt.”

He feels as though he’s been sucker punched right in the stomach, and he tightens the coat around himself. He hates the way that he’s feeling, and he hates the way that Yixing was able to call him out so easily. Junmyeon feels safe when he’s with him, but he knows that can’t keep relying on Yixing when his emotions are out of whack. He bites the inside of his cheek as he attempts to string his answer together.

He doesn’t know how to answer him, he finds.

Maybe the man yelling at him was enough to make the dam break as much as it had, but he also spent the last few hours either fighting off tears that threatened to spill or roughly scrubbing the hem of his sweater’s sleeve against his cheek when a few escaped. For some reason, he can’t bring himself to lie to Yixing— it probably has to do with the fact that he’s a lawyer and could spot a liar from a mile away, but he’s not really sure.

His lips part and seal a few times like a gaping fish as he pieces his words together. The feeling of Yixing’s fingers trailing through his hair helps to calm the bit of nerves that has built up into his frame, he bites down into his lower lip.

“I’m not getting married anymore.”


	11. ten, pt. ii

Junmyeon feels his heart pound in his chest and the air leaves his lungs following his confession. He doesn’t know what Yixing’s response will be or even his reaction as the older man has seemingly mastered his stoic expression. He’s once again consumed by the desire for a giant hole to swallow him, but the desire slowly faces when Yixing’s hand moves from his hair and down the length of his arm to hold his hand. 

The gesture makes him feel hot all over, and he’s closing the space between them to press his cheek against the taller’s chest and watches the lights for a while. A few late night joggers pass them and Junmyeon’s fingers curl into the fabric of Yixing’s shirt. He feels oddly at ease despite the chaos he knows he’ll return to once he gets the courage to actually tell Seojun that he wants to end their engagement.

“Is that really what you want to do?” Yixing asks after a few moments of silence pass.

Junmyeon hums. “I’m not happy anymore, and I’m afraid that if I stay then it’ll be to say that I’m married and not because I’m in love,” he pauses and pulls back to look at the taller man. “I don’t want you to think I’m doing this because I expect something from you, though. We’re just … we’re not as much of a perfect match as I thought we were.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay, and you were making this decision with a clear mind.”

“My mind is clear, I promise,” he bites his lip. “Can we leave now? I’m so cold.”

Junmyeon’s words make Yixing fall into a short fit of laughter, and the two shuffle back into the car. The ride isn’t silent as they make their way back to Gangnam, passing the time with light conversation and whatever song was playing on the radio. He laughs when Yixing hits a terrible note, but instantly presses a few kisses against Yixing’s neck when he playfully pouts. They go back to their apartment building, and Junmyeon covers his face with a mask that Yixing had given him out of fear that someone would tell Seojun that he was with another man.

Or, that he’d run into Seojun himself.

He shrugs out of Yixing’s jacket when they enter the apartment, and is instantly engulfed by the light warmth that greets them. Junmyeon watches as Yixing goes to turn on the fireplace, and he slides on a pair of slippers.

“You should shower to warm up while I make something.”

Junmyeon flushes. “I don’t have—”

“You can borrow something of mine,” Yixing heads towards the kitchen. “Everything’s in the closet.”

Junmyeon nods and heads down the hallway towards Yixing’s bedroom. It’s warm and inviting, with a navy accent wall and a bed with an acorn finish. There’s a tall plant in the right corner near the window, and there’s a small sitting space off in the corner. It consists of two leather armchairs and a small marble topped table, and Junmyeon brushes his hands against the plush white comforter that doesn’t have a single wrinkle. Yixing’s scent is swirling through the air and Junmyeon is sure that he couldn’t get enough.

He continues on to the bathroom, and is instantly in awe the moment it comes to life. It’s just as luxurious as he thought it’d be. Off to his left is a double vanity with mirrors that are backlit by soft lighting, and to his right is a large glass shower with three shower heads. Junmyeon wants nothing more than to sit in the oversized soaking tub in front of him, but he opts for a quick shower instead. 

Using Yixing’s shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash wraps him up in the older man’s scent, and it’s enough to help him relax. He takes a little extra time washing his hair, but he doesn’t take too long, toweling off and moisturizing quickly before heading off to find some clothes. He pads through the bedroom and towards the closet, which Junmyeon is sure came straight out of a drama. Junmyeon steps into the closet, and walks through the apartment with his fingers gently brushing over the fabric of Yixing’s clothes. Everything about the closet is exactly as he believes it would have looked.

He searches through the closet until he finds what he’s looking for, and his cheeks heat up when he slips on a pair of the older man’s boxers. He pats his cheeks to rid them of color and slides into a pair of plaid pajama bottoms that are entirely too long and an old shirt from his college.

“Columbia University?” Junmyeon whispers in English as his fingers brush over the faded lettering.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

Junmyeon startles, drawing in a breath as he turns around slowly to see Yixing leaning against the doorframe. He must have changed while he was in the shower, as Yixing is now wearing a pair of navy colored pajama pants and a slightly oversized white long sleeve. Junmyeon nods his head sheepishly and Yixing moves from his place to close the space between them. Junmyeon’s fingers instantly grip the hem of his shirt.

“You went to school in New York?” He asks as Yixing brushes his damp hair off of his forehead.

“Only for law school. I went to Seoul National for my bachelor’s.”

“Is that how you got so good at Korean?”

“We can contribute that to dating.”

Junmyeon laughs and gently shoves a hand against Yixing’s chest. Yixing tilts his chin down to seal their lips in a gentle kiss. The kiss doesn’t last for long, and when Yixing pulls away, Junmyeon instinctively chases his lips. Yixing indulges him for a little while longer, and Junmyeon laces his arms around Yixing’s neck to keep him close. 

He knows that it’s wrong to seek comfort in another man so soon following his unofficial breakup with his  _ fiance _ , but Junmyeon wants nothing more than to forget for  _ one  _ night. He’s not afraid to end his relationship, and he’s not afraid of whatever Seojun will have to say, but he was mostly afraid of starting over. He’d have to look for a new apartment and buy new furniture— all of his old furniture from his college days was sold when he and Seojun moved in together— so, he wasn’t anticipating the journey to finding himself again.

Yixing places a hand against Junmyeon’s cheek before pulling away, and tugs on his hand. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

The taste of the beef and kimchi fried rice nearly melts in Junmyeon’s mouth. He’s eating for the first time in a few hours, and his stomach is thankful for the light dinner. He has greatly sobered up since leaving the restaurant, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before his stomach protested him only having soju and french fries. He ate with Yixing sitting on the floor at the coffee table, watching the twelfth episode of  _ Goblin  _ and having light conversation.

Yixing asks Junmyeon about how work is going, and it feels good to talk with someone about all of the things he was excited for. He found himself rambling about a new book about a new book he was reading, and although he hadn't finished editing it yet, he was still able to recall his favorite scenes without fully spoiling it. At one point, Yixing kisses him and reminds him to breathe.

He helps to clean up the kitchen once they’ve finished their dinner, but it doesn’t take them too long to put everything in their places. Junmyeon slips off his gloves once he’s cleaned off the counter, and he looks over to see Yixing has made himself comfortable on the couch. A show he’s never seen before is playing on the television, and he gets an idea. Junmyeon pulls his lower lip between his teeth as he makes his way over, promptly blocking the man’s view of the television.

Junmyeon slips the remote from Yixing’s loose grip, and tosses it to the other side of the couch. Yixing sits up a bit, draping an arm over the back of the couch as his eyes rake up Junmyeon’s body. Yixing reaches out, hands tightly gripping the back of Junmyeon’s thighs to bring him down onto his lap. Junmyeon slots himself comfortably on Yixing’s lap, and drops his hands to toy with the hem of Yixing’s shirt. His eyes never leave Yixing’s while his fingers creep underneath the fabric.

Yixing’s hands slip over his ass and rests at his waist for a moment, thumbs stroking the junction where his thighs and hips meet. Junmyeon squirms on his lap, a startled gasp escaping from his lips. Yixing’s hands rest on the tops of his thighs, and Junmyeon continues sliding his hands underneath Yixing’s shirt. His abdomen flexes underneath his touch, and Junmyeon leaves forward until their lips are just about to melt together.

“What do you want, Junmyeon-ah?”

He gently nips at Yixing’s lower lip. “For you to fuck me.”

He watches as Yixing’s eyes flicker from his eyes and down to his lips before his hands slide up to grip his waist once more. The gap between their lips close, and Junmyeon instantly moans. Junmyeon lets his fingers slide into Yixing’s hair, and he places a hand on Yixing’s chest to steady himself. Yixing’s hands slip underneath the waistband of the Junmyeon’s pajama bottoms, resting on his ass and squeezing the supple flesh. Junmyeon pulls from their kiss, burying his face in the side of Yixing’s neck as he continues to knead the flesh. A squeak leaves Junmyeon’s mouth, and his nails dig into Yixing’s skin.

Yixing turns his head a bit. “You’re so cute,” he whispers against Junmyeon’s shoulder. “You’re going to look even cuter when I fuck you down into the mattress.”

Junmyeon nearly chokes, but he doesn’t have the time to when Yixing presses a kiss below his earlobe. Junmyeon moans softly as the hand against Yixing’s chest grips his shirt. He gently mouths against Yixing’s neck while Yixing tugs at the strings of his pajama bottoms, and slips a hand inside. A shudder runs down Junmyeon’s spine when Yixing grips his dick, wrist moving expertly. 

Junmyeon pants and sits up as best he can, feeling weak in the legs as he presses his lips against Yixing’s in a languid kiss. He groans, his lower lip sliding between Yixing’s and his tongue slipping into his mouth with ease. When he feels the pad of Yixing’s thumb brush against the head, Junmyeon whines and pushes a hand against his chest. 

“Yixing, wait,” he sighs while attempting to catch his breath. “Take me to your room, please.”

Yixing grunts, sliding his hand from Junmyeon’s pants and scoops him up. Junmyeon tightens his legs around Yixing’s waist and Yixing’s hands slide back down to grip under his thighs as he makes the trip down the hall to the bedroom. They kiss the whole way there, but it breaks unceremoniously when Yixing drops Junmyeon onto the bed, and simultaneously pulls his shirt over his head.

Junmyeon’s legs subconsciously drop open as Yixing lowers himself down onto the bed. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the sight of Yixing without a shirt on (or without clothes at all), and it’s enough to make his breath hitch in his throat. He leans up to kiss him while Yixing pulls off his shirt, tossing it aside as he’s pushed back to settle onto the bed.

“Junmyeon-ah.” Heat surges through him as Yixing trails kisses from his lips and to his neck, finally down to his stomach. “You’re so fucking breathtaking.”

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon wakes slowly, and a gentle tremor pulses through his legs as he sits up in the bed. Yixing sleeps peacefully beside him, and he can’t resist pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead as he tugs on one of the shirts from the floor and the boxers he wore earlier. He doesn’t think he’s ever had sex like that, and although it wasn’t their first time together, Junmyeon could feel his orgasm rip through him and spread from his head and down to the tips of his toes. He draws his knees up to his chest as he finally takes in the last few hours.

He had gotten so comfortable in his relationship with Seojun for so long that someone like Yixing coming along was enough to make him realize that he wasn’t living a normal life. He doesn’t really know where his perception of love and relationships came from, but considering that his parents have been married for over twenty years, Junmyeon would like to believe that such a relationship was meant for him too. Yixing was nice— beyond nice, made him turn beet red from a simple look, and he wants to actually have a conversation with him. He had gotten so used to one-sided conversation, to talking to himself and pretending as though what he said wasn’t of importance when Seojun finally tuned back into the conversation. Yixing seems interested in what he has to say, even when he’s rambling about work, and he’s able to bring him from the brink as he had been able to do only a few hours before when he couldn’t stop crying.

Junmyeon knows better than to put so much emphasis on what’s happened between them in the last few weeks— he doesn’t know what to call what he’s feeling, and he doesn’t know if he even deserves to. Although he has plans to end his engagement with Seojun, it doesn’t erase the fact that he’s been cheating on him for a little over a month. Of course, Junmyeon didn’t think of himself as holier than thou, but he would like to assume at point that he wasn’t someone who would have cheated on his significant other.

He likes to be with Yixing, and he likes spending time with him, but he also wonders if ending his relationship is a good idea. 

He’s been with Seojun for  _ years _ , and it had only been since the last year that he became so distant, but he knows he can’t keep up with the facade anymore. He’s tired of constantly telling lies to his friends, that Seojun is too busy and that he’s too tired to come to their events. He hates that he’s made excuses, and that he’s foolish enough to have believed that their relationship has been the same since their engagement. He has supportive friends who have wanted nothing more than to see him marry the man of his dreams, but how is that supposed to happen when he’s not even sure if the man he’s with loves him anymore?

“What are you thinking about?”

Junmyeon twists while Yixing stretches out his limbs before sitting up slowly.

“Nothing, just enjoying the moonlight. Did you sleep okay?”

“As best as I could after what we did,” Yixing jokes, pressing a kiss against his neck. “You’re more vocal than before.”

“Hush,” his cheeks burn. “You’re making me blush.”

“Oh, yeah?” Yixing continues to press kisses against his neck. “You blushed all over when I made you come for the third time.”

Junmyeon moans softly. “You’re so—”

“So what?” Yixing stops kissing his neck. 

“Incredible,” he mumbles. “You’re so incredible.”

Yixing moves his head a bit, closing the space between them once more as they kiss gently. Junmyeon moves until he’s on Yixing’s lap and kisses each other breathless. His arms lace around Yixing’s neck, fingers trailing into his hair as Yixing’s arms lace around his waist. He pulls away a bit when Yixing stands from the bed, legs tightening around his waist. He presses a kiss against the bridge of Yixing’s nose and speaks against his lips. “Where are you taking me, Zhang Yixing?”

“To the edge,” Yixing kisses him.

Junmyeon nearly chokes, the air sucked out of his lungs. Yixing walks a little ways down the hall and into this office, the cool air of the room making goosebumps rise on his thighs and arms. He’s placed on top of the oak desk after Yixing shuts the door behind him, and goes to pull the curtains open to let in the moonlight. Junmyeon decides to move the papers near him elsewhere, not wanting anything important to get ruined thanks to the deflowering that’s bound to happen. He’s just about to settle himself into place from moving around as Yixing approaches him, but his eyes land on the heading of one of the documents.

_ THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA, Plaintiff v. PARK SEOJUN and Seoul Financial Group, Defendant _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I started that sex scene and didn't finish it ... when will my confidence persist? 😔
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and that it was a continuation of the previous! I felt like Ch10 couldn't end where it did, so I hope this chapter was both entertaining and is leading towards answering any lingering questions.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for comments, kudos, and for reaching 500 hits! The way I'm so soft thinking about the fact that people are reading my story 🥺ya'll are going to make me cry! 
> 
> If you'd like, follow me on Twitter & ask questions/tell me about your theories on Curious Cat @jcnnierubies.
> 
> Until the next chapter! 🤎


	12. eleven

The steam from his microwaved bowl of ramen tinges the side of Junmyeon’s face as he zones out. While he may have been nearly split in half and didn’t go back to sleep until the sun began to come up, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he found. The night he saw the heading on that document scared the living hell out of him, but he hoped that it was nothing more than a weird hallucination or something that he could ignore.

Sadly, now three days later, Junmyeon can’t forget. 

He tried to think of it as a joke, but who would do something like that?

What could Seojun have that’s so bad there’s a pending case against him?

Although Junmyeon had plans to end his engagement and perhaps never see Seojun again, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it because one, he’s been far too busy getting tangled up in the sheets with Yixing and two, he doesn’t know how to approach him with this new information lingering over his head. Even being in the apartment to get clothes when he knew Seojun was at work led to sweaty palms and an overwhelming fear that Seojun was going to figure out where he was staying.

He was only a few floors above him, after all.

Junmyeon feels like such an asshole, and he doesn’t know why. He’s been slithering between the sheets with Yixing only because he made him feel good (at least, that’s what he’s been telling himself), and for once he felt like someone worth paying attention to. Don’t get him wrong— he has confidence in himself with his career, with his choice of friends, and with the idea that he’s going to be  _ okay  _ once he officially ends his engagement, but right now it feels like being pulled in a million different directions.

He’s had a headache for a few days which has since turned into a dull pulse, and he’s more stressed out than ever.

He wonders when he’ll start sprouting grey hairs.

Junmyeon snaps out of his trance and takes a few bites of his food before it gets too cold, eating quickly before tossing the rest. He leaves the break room, still not up to finishing his work day, but he knows that he can’t put all of his work on Jennie, Seulgi, or the rest of the team. His head continues to swim with hypothetical questions and theories until his body is ramming into another.

“I’m sorry,” he immediately apologizes, crouching down to clean up the spilled documents scattering on the floor. He hopes that they’re not too out of order. “I’m a little out of it today.”

“Do you ever pay attention to where you’re going? Sometimes I wonder why you’re still here.”

Junmyeon stiffens when he hears Baekyun’s voice, as he didn’t need someone else to worry about, but he continues to clean up his mess. Perhaps if he hands off the papers with an apologetic bow, the other man would leave him alone. He stacks the papers quickly, but neatly in an attempt to hurry away from the shorter man, but Junmyeon knows better than to believe that Baekhyun would let him leave without saying something else.

Junmyeon presses his lips together and shoves the papers towards the other. “I’m not going to leave my job just because you don’t like me.”

“I’m sure you have a reason to leave, though,” Baaekhyun snatches the papers. “Who was that you were getting into a car with last week? Last I checked, Seojun drives a Hyundai, not a Porsche.” 

Junmyeon is sure that he’s turned as white as a ghost when the words leave Baekhyun’s mouth. Could he have been the one in the stairwell, too? He feels as though the food he’d eaten only a short while ago is ready to come back up, and he knows that he can’t keep a little sneak like Baekhyun waiting on an answer. Of course, Junmyeon can’t say that the man in the Porsche was someone that he was cheating on Seojun with, that would be plain stupid. Not saying anything at all, though, could lead to Baekhyun running off with a theory.

He squares his shoulders and gently bites the tip of his tongue.

“Who I spend time with is none of your business. I didn’t know that I was only allowed to have four friends.”

“I never said it was, don’t put words into my mouth. I do know that  _ whoever  _ it was, it definitely wasn’t Seojun.”

Junmyeon swallows. “Yah, Baekhyun, you’re so funny.”

“You know how much I love jokes,” Baekhyun grins. “You’re my least favorite one, though.”

He’s fully aware that the shorter man doesn’t like him. It’s not news to Junmyeon, and he’s aware that he’s not going to be liked by everyone. Baekhyun has held a grudge against him for the last few years, and he doesn’t know why he’s the one catching all of the grief. Seojun was his ex-boyfriend, not Junmyeon, so why did he think it was okay to keep badgering him about Seojun’s misgivings? If he had an issue with Seojun leaving him, wouldn’t it make sense to be angry with him? 

“Can’t you leave me alone?” Junmyeon’s teeth grit together. “If Seojun didn’t want to be with you anymore then maybe it’s because of you or maybe it’s because I was able to give him something you couldn’t. Did you ever think about that?”

Baekhyun’s jaw flexes. “Stay in your place?”

“Or what? What’s my place, Baekhyun? I take all of the bullshit you spew about me and about my relationship every time we see each other. You think I  _ stole  _ Seojun from you, but instead of being mad at him for  _ leaving  _ you, you’re mad at me and I’m sick of it. If it’s not about work then please leave me alone. Stop finding reasons to step on me.”

He doesn’t wait for a response and harshly bumps past Baekhyun as he can’t get into a verbal argument with him. He already has too much on his plate, and possibly getting suspended from work because of Baekhyun’s inability to shut up isn’t something he wants to deal with right now. There are way too many thoughts swimming around in his mind to be bothered with someone who clearly has an impenetrable hatred towards him. 

Junmyeon releases a deep breath and buries his face in the palms of his hands once he’s back at his desk. He believed that eating  _ something  _ would help with his headache, but apparently that wasn’t helping at all. He has too much on his plate, and his head is throbbing for the second time that afternoon. He digs down into his desk drawer for some of the medication he keeps there, and swallows it down with what’s left of his cold coffee.

He attempts to fill the next hour with continuing to read through the manuscript he started earlier in the week, but the throbbing in his head has yet to subside. He feels tired, as though he can barely keep his eyes open and when did his body start to ache? He tries to keep the sudden onslaught of sniffles quiet, gently wiping at his nose and giving the weak answer that it was from his spicy noodles when Seulgi looked at him suspiciously. 

A hard cough wracks through his system when Jennie pops up from her seat.

“Sunbae, are you sick?”

Before he has the chance to deny it, she’s already pressing a hand against his forehead and her own. He knows that he’s sick with the way that her cool hand feels against his clammy skin. Jennie shakes her hand as if she’s been burned.

“Yah, Sunbae!” Seulgi scolds. “How could you come to work sick?”

“I didn’t know that I was, Seulgi.”

“If you give me your germs I’ll burn that manuscript!”

The three are soon talking over one another as Jennie and Seulgi fuss, scolding him for not taking better care of himself. He knows that he should blame his cold on himself for leaving the apartment without the proper clothing on before leaving the apartment, but there’s nothing he can do to change that now. He attempts to negotiate at least finishing his shift, but Irene is the one who promptly kicks him out of the office once she catches win that he’s not feeling well.

Junmyeon visibly pouts as he makes his way home, thankful that he had a mask stuffed down in his bag to keep his germs to himself. He knows that it’s nothing more than the common cold, but he becomes utterly useless when he gets this way. His legs ache and he wants nothing more than to sleep all day, but he can’t wait to curl up on the couch. He does make sure to stop at the pharmacy for some medicine before continuing his journey home.

He wishes that Yixing were at home so he wouldn’t be alone, but right now he simply wants to sleep. He changes out of his work clothes as quickly as he can but without making himself dizzy, and slips into whatever his hands land on. He lowers himself down onto the couch, downing some of the medicine while attempting to get some rice porridge delivered. He’s barely able to make it to the checkout before he passes out. 

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon awakens a while later, the apartment blanketed in darkness, with his mouth dry and body aching. He shifts himself to down the glass of water on the coffee table, feeling somewhat better as the cool liquid runs down his throat. He sits up and brushes his hand over his face, but he’s squared half to death when he sees Seojun sitting on the arm chair.

“W-Why are you sitting in the dark like that?” He sits up slowly to avoid making himself sick.

“Where did you stay when you left?”

Junmyeon’s breath hitches. “I stayed with my friends. You know, the  _ bratty  _ ones that you don’t like? Why are you asking me that anyways?”

“Then explain to me why you were with him.”

Junmyeon is blinded when Seojun turns his phone towards him, and he prays that him being sick hides the color that has drained from his face. He wasn’t expecting to be confronted with a far off, but perfectly high definition image of himself with Yixing in the front of the latter’s car the day they had gotten lunch together. The picture is innocent enough as it hadn’t captured them kissing, but Junmyeon wonders if Seojun was showing this picture to get his guard down.

Surprisingly, Junmyeon doesn’t need to lie too much.

“He’s our new author’s lawyer,” he speaks after a few moments. “We got lunch together to talk about her contract since I’m her editor. There’s nothing more to that, and this was days before our fight!”

He waits with bated breath and a weight on his chest as he assumes that Seojun is about to show him a picture of them in a much more intimate light, but he instead locks the phone and tucks it away. Junmyeon prays that he doesn’t notice the way he exhales out of relief.

The gears in Junmyeon’s already stuffed brain finally start to turn, and he’s suddenly annoyed. “Did you have someone following me?”

Seojun scrambles at Junmyeon’s inquiry. “They weren’t following you, specifically. They’re following the lawyer, Zhang Yixing.”

Hearing Seojun say his name almost makes him feel sick to his stomach, and he presses his lips together to keep himself from saying something stupid. He wonders, though, if this has anything to do with the case documents that he saw on Yixing’s desk. Junmyeon presses on, but keeps what he knows to himself.

“Why do you need to tail a contract lawyer? Is something going on?”

“He’s not a contract lawyer, or at least that’s what Sung-ho said. He works for the SPO.”

Junmyeon follows, but the answer doesn’t fill any gaps. “What does that matter, though? You haven’t done something have you? So, what's the concern?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Junmyeon inwardly groans. “It’s probably best if we don’t talk about it.”

He knows better than to press Seojun for more information as this is the most they’ve spoken to one another in a week, and he wasn’t in the mood for the man to be irrationally mad at him for whatever reason. It’s in this moment that Junmyeon remembers his plan to break off his engagement with him, but he decides to pocket the conversation for another time since he really doesn’t feel like being thrown out on his ass when he can barely breathe through his nose. 

Junmyeon should get the conversation done and over with, but he’s still a little nervous to see Seojun’s reaction. It’s evident that the man can easily flip through emotions at the drop of a hat, and Junmyeon doesn’t want to deal with it. 

Would he attempt to beg Junmyeon to stay?

Would he get upset and kick out on the spot?

Junmyeon’s brain starts to overwork itself, and he presses his fingers against his temples in an attempt to alleviate some of the throbbing. He truly hates the way that he’s fine with Seojun not asking if he needs anything, but he doesn’t let it get under his skin.

When Seojun leaves the living room, Junmyeon pulls out his phone (and turns down the brightness to avoid getting  _ another  _ headache) before sending Yixing a text.

Junmyeon

_ Can I come over? _

_ I need to tell you something. _

Yixing

_ Of course. _

_ We need to talk. _

Junmyeon stands up from the couch slowly, but he has to move quickly so he can change without his cold telling him to take a break after putting on his pants. His body protests against his movements, but he tugs on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie while telling Seojun that he’ll be back through the bathroom door. 

Hopefully Seojun doesn’t get suspicious of his sudden need to leave.

Junmyeon grabs his phone and slips on his shoes before leaving the apartment. He takes his time, barely able to get much air into his lungs as he takes the elevator up to Yixing’s apartment. Junmyeon’s stomach turns from both his sickness and from whatever Yixing has to tell him, and he tries his best to move slowly to avoid emptying his stomach in the hallway.

The trip up to Yixing’s apartment takes a little more time than he wanted it to, and he doesn’t even have to knock before the door swings open. Yixing looks oddly frazzled as he ushers Junmyeon inside, and he takes off his shoes. He looks up at the taller man, and he feels a ball of anxiety building up in his frame. He has  _ never  _ seen Yixing this stressed out before— it looks like he’s been continuously brushing his hands through his hair. He looks towards the living room, where he sees papers spread out on the coffee table. Junmyeon curiously makes his way over, but he wishes he hadn’t.

A stack of pictures is strewn all over the table, a few of them crumpled and ripped. It’s pictures of  _ them _ , where he’s grinning up at Yixing with stars in his eyes or with their lips together as if they didn’t have a care in the world. The most recent pictures are of them at Cheongna, and Junmyeon doesn’t know what to do. He keeps one of the pictures, the one of them kissing in the front seat of Yixing’s car in his grip as he turns towards Yixing while attempting to find something to say, but his knees grow weak, and everything goes dark.

  
  
  
  


A harsh cough wakes him up for the second time that evening, and Junmyeon groans at the slight ache that lingers in his body. The bright red numbers on the alarm clock reads 2:14am, and he barely even knows how long he’s been in the bed. His body feels like lead, and he pulls the cooled towel off of his forehead. On the bedside table is some pain medication which he takes with the awaiting glass of water, and he’s thankful that his hoodie has been removed to keep him from sweating too much. 

He carefully pushes himself out of the bed, and makes his way out of the bedroom. The light in Yixing’s office is on, so he walks up to the door and knocks gently.

Yixing looks up from whatever he’s reading as he closes the door behind him. “Are you feeling better?”

He shrugs. “My nose is still stuffed, but I feel better. I think I was just moving too fast, is all,” he bites his lip and sinks down into one of the chairs in front of Yixing’s desk. “I figure it’s the pictures that you wanted to tell me about?”

Yixing nods. “I also got a note with the pictures…” 

Junmyeon takes the paper that’s handed to him.

_ Zhang Yixing, _

_ Drop the case against Seoul Financial and Park Seojun. _

_ We know about your relationship. _

_ You have forty eight hours, or your reputation won’t be the only thing that gets hurt. _

“Are they talking about hurting you? Or hurting me?” Junmyeon swallows thickly. “You should go to the police!”

“I can’t go to the police without proof of who sent this to me. What does Park Seojun have to do with these picture of us?”

Junmyeon averts his attention, sliding the note back onto Yixing’s desk. It’s then what Junmyeon realizes how much his two worlds are about to clash. “He’s my fiance. We’ve been together for a few years, but I don’t know what he’s doing or why he would be threatening you like this. I don’t…”

His voice trails as Yixing leans back in his chair, pinching the skin between his eyebrows. Junmyeon wants nothing more than to shrink down into the seat until he disappears. He feels more and more like an asshole when he comes to grips with what he’s been doing, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Yixing kicked him out right now. He wouldn’t blame him either— he’s engaged to someone who would openly threaten him, a lawyer! Junmyeon doesn’t want Yixing to think negatively of him, but he can only wait for what the older man has to say.

He’s pulling his legs closer to his chest when he hears Yixing clear his throat. “You’re included in these pictures, Junmyeon-ah. If they have pictures like this, then I’m sure they know where you work and where we both live. I don’t care about what happens to me— this isn’t the first time I’ve been threatened, but the last thing I want is for you to hurt because of Seojun’s selfish actions.”

Junmyeon bites the inside of his cheek. “What did he do that’s so bad? I tried asking, but he’s not saying anything.” 

“Seojun-ssi,” Yixing pauses as if to think over his choice of words. “Seojun-ssi and Seoul Financial is nothing more than white collar crime operating in broad daylight. The company looks legitimate from the outside looking in, and the loans that they allow their clients to take out seem good because of their pretty words, but within a year they’re upping the interest rates to amounts that their clients can’t afford. The interest does nothing more than line their own pockets.”

Junmyeon inhales. “So, he’s a loan shark?”

“That’s a pretty word for it, but not him particularly,” Yixing sighs. “He’s not out destroying the property and livelihoods of the people taking out these loans  _ physically _ , but him being a ‘team leader’ means that he’s reaping the benefits of one. His car, the apartment, those lavish dinners and vacations that he takes with his colleagues— it’s all paid for by the interest his company gets.”

Junmyeon is slightly overwhelmed by the information as he takes it all in, breathing slowly to avoid passing out again. “Why is this person threatening you, though? What are they gaining from doing this?”

“I’m sure it’s because of my position as lead prosecutor. I’ve been working on gathering enough evidence for this case for over a year with the help of my partner, and I can’t let you get hurt because of this.”

Unexpected tears begin to well in Junmyeon’s ducts. “What are you going to do? You’re not… you’re not pushing me away because of this are you?”

“Junmyeon-ah,  _ no _ ,” Yixing moves around his desk to crouch in front of him. “I’m not pushing you away because of this. I never would leave you vulnerable like that. I want to make sure you’re safe— I don’t know Seojun like you do, but I don’t even want to think about what he would do if he sees those pictures of us together. Between that and the note, it’s clear that they’ll stop at nothing to ensure that Seojun gets away with this.”

“Wait, what are you saying?” He brushes his hand against his cheek. “Th-that he would hurt me over some stupid case?”

Yixing gently cups his cheek and presses a gentle kiss against his forehead. Junmyeon feels his anxiety bubbling as all kinds of thoughts and possibilities run through his mind, but the reassuring squeeze that Yixing gives to his hand calms him down a little.

“I’m going to keep you safe, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹SPO: Supreme Prosectors' Office of the Republic of Korea
> 
> AAHHH a new chapter finally! My final year of college has officially started so this took me a little while to finish, but a new chapter is finally here for you guys! 
> 
> More will be revealed as the chapters go on, but those of you calling Seojun a snake ... we love to see it KFNDJSFD. 
> 
> Follow my Twitter & ask me questions on CC @jcnnierubies! 
> 
> Thank you for your comments, kudos, and hits! 🤎


	13. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I just wanted to add a trigger warning for today's chapter as Junmyeon suffers from a panic attack shortly thereafter meeting with Kyungsoo. Particularly, the panic attack starts at "Thank you" and ends at "I'm sorry", if you want to skip it! It's not /too/ detailed, but I still wanted to add a Trigger Warning just to be on the safe side.
> 
> Happy reading! 🤎

Junmyeon doesn’t know how he feels.

Well, he does know that he feels like shit because of his cold, but his world has seemingly collapsed on itself in the matter of a few hours. He has never questioned Seojun’s job because it all made sense— he works at a bank providing loans for people who needed them with a fancy corner office, so him living the lifestyle that he did wasn’t out of the ordinary. Sure, he wasn’t cruising around town in a one hundred and seventy three million won car like Yixing, but his Hyundai was still a nice car. 

Their apartment may have been a penthouse, but Junmyeon had fallen in love with it the moment they stepped into it with their realtor. It was the windows that provided a gorgeous view of Gangnam that instantly reeled him in, and he was instantly drawn to them like a child at an amusement park. He barely wanted to see the rest of the apartment as he knew that he wanted it from that very moment, and it took Seojun pulling him into the bedroom to look at everything else. 

Seojun talked numbers with the man as Junmyeon trailed his fingers over the countertops and envisioned what their new home would someday see. He pictured them having dinner at the dining room table with their friends, entertaining their parents whenever they came into town, watching soccer matches on the couch, and simply being madly in love with each other when they returned from their honeymoon. They were barely in the apartment for a full twenty four hours before Seojun backed Junmyeon up against their bathroom sink that morning, and they promptly christened nearly every surface— Junmyeon had never been happier.

He believed that there would have been tiny feet running across the floor someday, cheerful giggling filling the air as he scoops a tiny body into his arms, but he doesn’t think that dream will ever come true. 

Junmyeon looks down at the ring on his finger, feeling a punch to his heart with the way that he knows Seojun is wearing a matching one right now. Junmyeon had never told him that he had taken his ring to get engraved on the inside, permanently marking that he had given his heart to _PSJ_ , as the engraving read. He wonders if the ring had been purchased with dirty money, and he feels tears welling up in his eyes. Junmyeon feels so stupid and his head is swimming as he draws his legs up to his chest. His stomach has been growling uncomfortably for the better part of the last hour, but he hasn’t been able to get himself out of bed.

He did attempt to eat some rice porridge after his talk with Yixing, but he threw it up almost as soon as he finished the last bite. He purposefully ate slowly to avoid doing that very thing, but his stomach was clearly going to reject it regardless.

It was nothing short of embarrassing to cough and end up throwing up in front of the man who found him attractive, so he promptly spent the rest of the night pouting while swimming in the oversized sweater that Yixing let him borrow. 

When the growling gets to the point of being annoying, Junmyeon pushes himself out of Yixing’s bed and leaves the bedroom. He follows the sound of water running, and comes across Yixing washing a few dishes. His footsteps are tentative as he approaches the kitchen.

“Are you feeling any better?” Yixing asks while drying his hands.

He’s not sure how to answer. “As far as my cold, I’m still feeling a little nauseous. As far as everything else… I could be better.”

Yixing nods knowingly. “Here, have this.”

Yixing turns away for a minute to pull down a bowl and fill it with whatever is on the stove as Junmyeon slips onto one of the stools. Yixing places a bowl in front of him.

If Junmyeon were a five year old, he would have started to cry.

He’s twenty eight, so he pouts instead.

“Broth? There’s nothing in it!”

“That’s the _point_ , Junmyeon-ah,” he deepens his pout when Yixing chuckles. “The last thing you need is to throw up again, so drink this slowly. It’ll help.”

Junmyeon sips the broth carefully to avoid burning his mouth, and the two make light conversation. His mind is still reeling from the load of information that had been dumped on him in the hours prior, and he wonders if he should be scared. The most that Junmyeon knows about loan shakes comes from dramas— they’re greasy men who wear ugly Hawaiian shirts while harassing, berating, and abusing the people who owe them money. They’ll take their abuse out on _anyone_ who they come into contact with, no matter their age.

They’re not the people who wear luxury suits, take lavish vacations, and live a seemingly normal life— Seojun is the kind of criminal who hides in plain sight, and Junmyeon wonders how long he would have kept his up had he not been caught. Both his heart and his head hurt at what Seojun was doing to the people who were struggling to get ahead, or help their business keep its doors open. He had seen a number of small restaurants close, families losing their livelihoods, after the owners could no longer afford the upkeep and Junmyeon felt sick to know that they could have been dealing with loan sharks too.

After he finishes his broth, Junmyeon rests on the couch and sips down some of the medicine that Yixing bought. He doesn’t know if he came down with a twenty-four hour bug or what, but he’s slowly starting to feel better. His nose is still stuffed and he has the occasional cough, but it’s not as bad as it had been the evening prior. After he awakens from a short nap, Junmyeon gets off of the couch and goes off to find Yixing.

Of course, he’s working in his office. 

Junmyeon pushes open the door slowly, and closes it behind him. He lingers at the door for a minute, and is greeted with a gentle smile before Yixing continues typing on his computer. He knows that the man is busy, but he doesn’t know how to feel in this current moment— it’s calm and serene, especially with the minimal lighting in the room, but all he wants right now is to forget.

So, he rounds the desk with determined steps, and Yixing looks up from his work with a confused expression as Junmyeon stands in front of him. Yixing pushes back his chair, and Junmyeon moves to sit on Yixing’s lap. Much like before, Yixing’s hands slide against the backs of his thighs, gripping gently behind his knees. Junmyeon loosely drapes his arms around Yixing’s neck.

“Junmyeon-ah, what are you doing?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I came to get distracted.”

“From what?”

Yixing’s hand comes up to brush his hair out of his eyes, and his thumb kisses Junmyeon’s cheek. It’s a comforting gesture, and he instantly feels at ease.

“ _Everything_. I’m so stressed out from what you told me last night. It’s only been twenty four hours and I’m tired of being sick,” he sighs. “ Are you busy? Am I bothering you?”

Yixing chuckles. “You could never bother me. How do you want me to help?”

Junmyeon thinks for a minute. “I want bubble tea.”

“Then it’s bubble tea that we’ll get.”

  
  
  
  
  


Junmyeon feels like a kid in a candy store as he sips his Brown Sugar Boba Milk with Cream Mousse. The taste of the boba popping in his mouth gives him the extra boost of serotonin that he has been desperately craving, and he feels himself relaxing a little more. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Tiger Sugar was surprisingly empty for this time of day, so they were able to get a comfortable post inside— Junmyeon didn’t need to be exposed to the cooler temperature for long anyway.

When Yixing joins him at the table after picking up his drink (a boring Green Tea Latte), they’re able to fall into comfortable conversation.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Junmyeon’s cheeks tinge pink. “I think I needed a change of scenery.”

“Of course, Junmyeon-ah. Anything to make you happy.”

“Stop,” he whines playfully. “I swear you’re like a prince.”

Junmyeon would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling anxious while being out— ever since Yixing showed him the note, he’s been on edge. He needed to get out of the apartment for a while, and he was definitely craving bubble tea, but his chest still feels tight. He doesn’t know what the letter retained as far as what this person would do, but he feels protective over the man who has taken this note as if it were a piece of junk mail.

Then again, Yixing has been practicing law for a few years, and like he mentioned, this isn’t the first time that someone has threatened him. Junmyeon tries his best not to let his concerns sour the pleasant mood that surrounds them. Once again, they’re in their bubble again, the one that seems completely impenetrable by outside factors. Not so surprisingly, when Yixing has to take a quick call, Junmyeon isn’t as upset as he would have been had this been Seojun. Junmyeon continues to sip on his bubble tea as he waits for Yixing to come back, and he can see Yixing talk with whoever is on the other end of the line at the back of the shop. 

He can’t hear a word of the conversation, but his face instantly warms up when they make eye contact. Yixing’s gaze is fiery, and a shiver runs down Junmyeon’s back. Junmyeon squirms in his seat, and quickly averts to a passing couple outside. Suddenly, the woman’s tote bag is the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.

Yixing returns to the table after about five minutes, and Junmyeon takes a small bite of their shared chocolate cream cake that they picked up from another cafe. He watches as Yixing finally gets his share of the dessert, sipping at his bubble tea, and hoping that the sudden warmth in his cheeks will fade. Junmyeon pulls on the brim of his hat in order to hide his face, but it doesn’t work. Yixing’s hand gently grips his wrist, and stops him from pulling on it any further.

“Junmyeon-ah, are you hiding from me?”

“N-No, I was fixing my hat.”

Yixing’s head tilts as he closes the space between them. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“I am not!” He squeaks. “I was never a terrible liar to begin with.”

Yixing presses a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“That’s a lie, but I’ll let you believe it.”

“That’s not—”

Junmyeon’s protest is swallowed when Yixing captures his lips in a soft kiss, but he pulls away.

“Wait, I’m still sick.”

“I don’t care.”

Junmyeon gently swats at Yixing’s chest, but he’s still kissed again. Yixing’s lips taste like a combination of the dessert and his latte, and it makes Junmyeon nearly have a sugar overload alongside the sweet kiss. Now, he’s _definitely_ grateful for them finding a table towards the back of the cafe since their kiss has moved from gentle lip touches to the soft slide of his bottom lip getting captured between Yixing’s. Junmyeon’s hand rests on Yixing’s thigh, fingers gripping the fabric before they’re abruptly pulling apart.

“Hyung, is that you?”

Junmyeon’s heart is just about to fall out of his ass at the sound of the voice, and he wants nothing more than for the floor to open up.

“Oh, Kyungsoo. I didn’t expect to run into you.”

Junmyeon pulls on the sleeves of his sweater, hiding his hands as he keeps his head pointed down. If Kyungsoo can’t see his face, then he won’t know who he is, right? His stomach tightens, and he doesn’t want to be in this situation anymore. He’s so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he’s tuned out whatever Kyungsoo and Yixing have been saying to one another.

“We’re casually seeing each other, yes.”

Junmyeon stiffens, 

“I don’t think your date likes the sound of that.”

He relaxes by a half fraction when Yixing places a comforting hand on his thigh. He doesn’t want Kyungsoo to know it’s him— he had seen them kissing! His mind is scrambling as he keeps his attention on his hands, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation. He doesn’t know how Yixing is able to keep calm at the moment, but Junmyeon can’t stop thinking of an exit strategy. He knows that he probably seems rude by not greeting Kyungsoo, his friend at that, so Junmyeon lifts his head to whisper to Yixing.

“I’m going to the restroom.”

Yixing pats his thigh in acknowledgement without breaking the conversation with Kyungsoo, and he scurries off towards the restroom in hopes that he can escape without being caught. He moves as quickly as he can without snapping an ankle, dashing towards the restroom while faking (but not really) a cough in order to cover his face. He slips into one of the stalls and takes a few deep breaths. He feels as though he’s on the verge of panicking, his stomach clenching tighter as he fans his face. He can’t believe that he allowed himself to get wrapped up in such a public kiss with Yixing, but he can only pray that Kyungsoo gets what he came for without asking too many questions.

The restroom door squeaks open, and Junmyeon holds his breath as he crosses his fingers that it’s another customer.

“Junmyeon-ah, come out.”

His heart pounds erratically in his chest and loudly in his ears as he hears Kyungsoo’s voice. He wants nothing more than to shrivel up and die. Junmyeon unlatches the stall’s lock slowly, and pulls the door open while his other hand grips his sweater’s sleeve. He hangs his head, knowing that he’s been caught. Kyungsoo is only older than Junmyeon by a little less than seven months, but he feels like he’s about to get scolded by his father.

“What are you doing here with him?”

He wrings his hands together. “I-It’s not what you think…”

“I’m not stupid, Junmyeon-ah. _What_ are you doing here with him? Have you broken up with Seojun? Is that why you won’t tell us anything about the wedding?”

Junmyeon’s breath hitches in his throat. Despite how comfortable he had gotten with Yixing, there wasn’t a second where he wasn’t aware that what he was doing was wrong. Even if he did have plans on leaving him, he hasn’t made the effort to talk to Seojun, and he probably would have never had the thought to leave had he not begun sleeping with Yixing. Instead, he ran off and into another man’s arms while seeking comfort, effectively ignoring all the signs telling him not to. His comfort had surpassed seeing each other in the safety of Yixing’s apartment, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he runs into Kyungsoo or that someone is able to talk pictures of them.

“I’m… I’m still with him. I’m going to break up—”

“So, you’re still with him? You’re having an _affair_?”

The judgement laced in Kyungsoo’s tone makes Junmyeon flinch. He’s sure that his eyes have rimmed red, and he feels tears starting to well up in his ducts. He knows better than to lie to the man, so his head nods slowly before he hangs his head once again in shame.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. I just wanted to be friends with him in the beginning, but one thing led to another and—”

“So, that’s enough reason for you to cheat on your fiance?”

“It’s not…” his voice trails. “Promise me you won’t tell everyone else, please. Especially Seojun. _Please_.”

Junmyeon is desperate and he’s willing to get down on his knees in the grimy restroom to beg his friend not to say anything. Kyungsoo looks skeptical, and he bites the inside of his cheek as he waits for him to say _anything_ , and he hates the way that a tear spills over when Kyungsoo exhales.

“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over.”

“Thank you, Hyung.” 

He bows graciously as Kyungsoo leaves the restroom, and his heart beats uncomfortably in his chest. He takes a few minutes before leaving the restroom himself, scrubbing his cheek when a few tears start spilling down his cheeks. He nearly trips over his feet. He made a beeline for the door, praying that he doesn’t run into anyone else from his social circle. Junmyeon thought he was fine, but his breath is caught in his throat, and he doesn’t stop when he hears Yixing calling out to him. He bumps into a passing couple, but his throat constricting stops the chance for any sort of apology to come out of his mouth. He hears Yixing apologize for him, and he finally stops walking when he feels Yixing take his hand gently.

“Junmyeon-ah, hey. It’s okay, look at me.”

Junmyeon’s head shakes. “N-No… _no…_ ”

His breaths are short, choppy, and in rapid succession. He feels as though he might faint. Junmyeon wants nothing more than for his panic to stop, but he doesn’t know how. Kyungsoo has been one of his best friends since they met during their college years, but he also knows how close they all are with one another. Secrets within their group don’t last very long as they made it one of their “rules” to never keep secrets from one another, so the thought of Kyungsoo telling everyone else about his affair has him gasping for air.

“Can you breathe with me? Deep breaths?”

Yixing demonstrates taking in a slow, deep breath through his nose and exhaling out of his mouth. It takes a few times and efforts from a shaking Junmyeon, who struggles with keeping up. His breaths are originally shaky and unsure, but Yixing keeps talking to him and brushing his thumb against the back of his hand as he calms down. Soon, Junmyeon has regained his normal breathing pattern, and the feeling of Yixing’s hand stroking his back helps to ease whatever tension is still lingering.

“I’m sorry,” Junmyeon mumbles.

“Shh, no it’s okay. Don’t apologize for that, alright?”

Yixing hugs him gently, and a few more minutes pass before they separate and make their way back to Yixing’s apartment. Junmyeon keeps a hand laced within Yixing’s even once they’re in the car, and it’s helping ease his anxiety. Once they’re back in Yixing’s home, Junmyeon toes off his shoes and sheds himself of his borrowed coat before curling up on the couch. He buries his face into one of the pillows and squeezes his eyes closed when he feels Yixing place a blanket over him.

He shifts a bit while Yixing brushes his hair off of his forehead.

“Will you lay with me for a while?” 

Yixing wordlessly joins him on the slightly cramped couch, with Junmyeon sticking himself against Yixing’s side and sliding a leg between the taller’s. He rests his head against Yixing’s chest, and his fingers fist into the older man’s shirt. Yixing’s even breaths are calming as they lay tangled together on the couch, and as Junmyeon tries to push intruding thoughts of his head for at least an hour of peace, they’re still continuously nagging at him. He wants to believe that there’s nothing happening between himself and Yixing, that their relationship is nothing more than a fling that will soon find an end as well, but there was no denying it.

Junmyeon was catching feelings.

  
And he was falling, _hard_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an early chapter since I have a TON of assignments to do this week, so I hope you guys enjoyed the touch of humor in this one! We also got some soft Sulay moments, and I'm soft too 🥺.
> 
> As always, you can follow me on Twitter & Curious Cat @jcnnierubies!
> 
> Thanks so much for kudos, hits, and comments. Until the next chapter! 🤎


	14. thirteen

Junmyeon works up the courage to finally leave the house since waking up that morning, and determination was written all over his face. He came to the conclusion that he had a panic attack not only out of fear that Kyungsoo would tell their friends about what he discovered, but the guilt was continuously eating away at him. He had forced the guilt down in order to avoid confronting it, but he knew that he couldn’t keep doing that.

After he managed to disentangle himself from Yixing, he sat up in the bed and mentally gave himself a small pep talk. He doesn’t tell Yixing what his entire plan is, but he knows that he can’t keep trying to live this double life where he was with Yixing, and still wearing Seojun’s engagement ring. He knew that it was time to let go of his relationship, even if he was sad to see it come to an end. Junmyeon didn’t allow himself to get too distracted from the mission he was determined to complete, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t steal a kiss or two.

It’s these minor instances where Junmyeon realizes just how deep into this he truly is. For the past couple of days, they’ve been doing things that normal couples do. Junmyeon is woken up by a kiss to the neck or the forehead, Yixing showers, he makes a small breakfast with coffee. They’d talk while brushing their teeth, and then he’d borrow something of Yixing’s before going to work. It was a little weird, he could admit, going to work wearing clothes owned by his lower that smelled exactly like the Saint Laurent cologne that Yixing loved. Their relationship has been strictly sexual for the most part, and Junmyeon doesn’t know if his growing feelings would be reciprocated, but he knows better than to say anything about it right now. He needs to end his relationship with Seojun,  _ officially,  _ before things get worse, and he especially needs to be honest with himself.

Junmyeon wants to believe that his relationship only recently started to take a turn for the worst, but that was his wishful thinking getting in the way. It seems as if the second he slipped the ring on his finger, Seojun had become an entirely different person, and for the worst. He could understand the pressures of work and constantly wanting to impress, but Junmyeon didn’t understand how Seojun could allow himself to change his  _ entire  _ personality. Junmyeon was the team leader at his own job, but he didn’t act like an asshole to Seojun— in fact, he went above and beyond for him!

He constantly cooked Seojun’s favorite dinners, but would find himself eating alone.

He washed his clothes without receiving a simple thank you.

He was the perfect little fiance who kept his head down and only spoke when spoken to.

Seojun wanted Junmyeon to be a house husband. He wanted someone who would wait on him hand and foot, but could look pretty on his arm when he needed to impress some stuffy executive. Junmyeon didn’t mind doing domestic duties, but he wasn’t put on the planet to be subservient to a man who barely acknowledged his presence unless he was drunk.

And how Junmyeon  _ hated  _ when he would come home drunk!

It always seemed as though it was a thin thread separating Seojun’s emotions, and although he could come home happy, if Junmyeon so much as asked him a question, then he was catching the short end of the stick. He hates the way that he would have to forgive him so easily the mornings after, letting Seojun easily break down his walls by pressing a few kisses against his neck, or by promising to take him to some place he mentioned months ago.

Junmyeon’s face scrunches in disgust, hands tucked down into his raincoat’s pockets as the elevator arrives at his destination.

Seoul Financial is an ominous building that fits right in to those surrounding it. The building is tall and sleek in the heart of Seoul’s financial district, standing at sixteen floors tall and with black accents. The employees who swiped their badges to access the elevators wore clothes that could easily cost someone’s rent, but that’s no surprise considering that they were all mostly SKY graduates with wealthy parents. When Junmyeon came for the first time when he first started dating Seojun, he felt so out of place wearing his trusty Nike sneakers in comparison to the very judgemental man who was standing with him in the elevator. He glued himself to Seojun, hand clasped in his as he looked as Seojun as if he had all the answers in the universe.

Junmyeon had worn his guest pass with pride back then, nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet every time he was going to meet with Seojun for lunch. Then, they would sit on the roof of the building while they enjoyed their lunch, and it was during those moments that Junmyeon truly felt like he had fallen in love. They laughed and joked so easily, constantly teasing one another and barely able to separate when Junmyeon had to leave. 

Now, Junmyeon wants nothing more than to throw a brick through the glass doors that are taunting him, but he swallows his anxiety as he swings open the door. The receptionist tells him that Seojun is in a meeting, and he immediately earns protests from her when he takes off towards the conference room. The room is glass encased, and filled with men who could chew him up and spit him out within a second, but Junmyeon was determined to be heard.

He shoves the door open and suddenly, all eyes are on him. Some of the men look annoyed with him, and some looked downright angry, and despite the way that his mouth runs dry, he wasn’t going to back down. He promptly interrupts whatever Seojun is saying, and the man tucks a hand down into the pocket of his trousers. Junmyeon’s back feels hot with the way that everyone is looking at him, but he stands firm.

“Mr. Park, I’m so sorry,” the receptionist bows. “He wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Somi, it’s alright,” Seojun pauses. “What are you doing here, Junmyeon-ah?”

“We need to talk— in private.”

Seojun clears his throat and excuses himself, plastering a faux smile on his face that clearly reads that he’s annoyed by Junmyeon’s sudden appearance. For the time, Junmyeon doesn’t care if he’s inconveniencing the other man.

Junmyeon is uncomfortable with the way that Seojun drops his free hand to his lower back as they walk towards his office. He isn’t looking to stay for long. He wants to say his piece, return the ring, and leave.

Seojun leads them into the office, and Junmyeon curls his hands into the hem of his coat as a means to ground himself. 

“I’m… I’m breaking up with you,” he says the moment the door seals shut. 

“What?”

“This— I can’t do it anymore. The relationship… the  _ engagement.  _ It’s suffocating, and I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re not the same person that I met four years ago and I think it’s best if we end it here.”

His hands grip his sleeves tighter, and the ring in his pocket feels abnormally heavy. He had taken it off during his cab ride, and he’s ready to chuck it at the back of Seojun’s head when he notices how eerily silent the other man had gotten. 

Then, he’s laughing.

Junmyeon swallows thickly, but remains firm despite the small falter in his demeanor. Of all things, he hadn’t expected to be laughed at. Why isn’t Seojun taking him seriously? 

Junmyeon sinks his teeth into his lower lip, eyes scanning around the office as he waits for the laughing to stop. The confidence that he had is slowly beginning to leave his system, and he worries that he’ll end up backtracking. 

“I’m serious—”

“Yah, Kim Junmyeon-ah,” Seojun grins, still laughing. “You’re not breaking up with me.”

Junmyeon’s heart sinks. He wants nothing more than to end this, so he tries to regain his confidence.

“I’m breaking up with you, Seojun. I’m not changing…”

His voice trails when Seojun is suddenly crowding his space, and Junmyeon stumbles to keep the distance between them. He’s looking at Junmyeon as if he’s a fragile bunny let alone in the woods, and Junmyeon is positive that if given the opportunity, Seojun would snap his neck. His stomach cramps as Seojun boxes him in between his body and the large desk, and Junmyeon sets his hands against his chest in an effort to push him away.

“Baby, you know you don’t want that,” Seojun grips his wrists. “We’re getting married. End of discussion.”

Junmyeon attempts to pull his wrists free. “I don’t want to marry you anymore.”

Seojun crowds him more, and to alleviate the pain of the desk’s edge digging into his back, Junmyeon lifts himself onto his toes, but Seojun takes it as an opportunity to push him onto the desk. If someone were to walk by the office, they would assume that Junmyeon said they needed to “talk” just to canoodle with Seojun in his office. However, Junmyeon doesn’t like it. 

“Junmyeon-ah, you and I both know that’s not how you feel. Have your bratty little friends started planting lies in your head? Where’s this coming from?”

He feels Seojun’s grip tighten. “Stop talking about them like that and I’ve had enough of your flippant behavior.”

“Oh baby, think about it for a second,” Seojun chuckles darkly. “If you break up with me, would they even want to be your friend anymore? It’s Chungha who’s married to the chaebol, right? I’m sure she doesn’t need to do anything more than hold her hand out, but what happens if you break up with me? Maybe you’ll have to pick up night shifts at the convenience store again, or maybe, you might have to start turning tricks.”

Junmyeon snatches his wrists out of Seojun’s loosened grip, hand swiftly moving through the air and slapping Seojun against the cheek. His hand stings from the force and as Seojun falters, he shoves him away and gets off of the desk. He promptly reaches into his pocket and tosses the ring at Seojun, which bounces off of his chest with little fanfare. 

“You are not going to keep talking to me like that, and I am  _ done  _ with this relationship.”

“And what will you do if I don’t, hmm?” Seojun moves to close the distance between them once more. “You’re going to regret leaving me, you know that?” He grips Junmyeon’s wrist before he can react, tugging him closer.

“Seojun, let me go.”

“Is this really what you want?” Junmyeon stumbles when Seojun yanks on his arm and slides his hand into his hair. His grip tightens in Junmyeon’s hair.

“I said to let me go.” 

Seojun harshly shoves Junmyeon away, and he has to act quickly before he falls to the floor. “You know, I should’ve listened to everyone who told me not to pursue you. I should have known you were ungrateful— I could have given you the world.”

“Ungrateful for what?” Junmyeon argues. “A fiance who doesn’t spend time with me? Who only acknowledges me when he needs to play the facade that his life is so perfect? If you wanted to give me the world you could have done it for the last four  _ years _ !”

“Watch it.”

“No! I’m done holding me tongue and I’m done with you. You get to say what you want about everything that I do wrong, but I’m not allowed to call you out when  _ you’ve  _ fucked up. I’m not important to you anymore. The moment we got engaged, it’s like your love for me disappeared, but I kept holding on because I loved you. I was in love with you, I wanted to marry you, and I wanted  _ you _ . But you… you don’t love me anymore. You love the idea of me.”

“Junmyeon-ah…”

“Don’t try to talk down to me like I only stuck with you because you had money, Seojun. I’m not as stupid or as naive as you think,” he feels tears welling up in his eyes. “I can’t and I won’t do this with you anymore. I can’t keep letting my heart get broken by you.”

Seojun’s jaw ticks. “I want you gone in two days.”

“Fine. That apartment hasn’t felt like home in months.”

Junmyeon straightens himself out as he reaches for the door handle to leave, and he finally feels as though a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. Seojun’s colleagues are looking at him as if he had horns growing out of his head, and he knows that his eyes are rimmed red. As he leaves the office, though, an overwhelming sense of calm washes over him. Two days isn’t very long for him to get his stuff out, but he’s happy that it’s sooner than later. He’ll take some time to find an apartment he likes, but he has no problem finding temporary housing until then. He can check one box off of his to-do list, but he’s not done yet.

  
  
  
  
  


Junmyeon taps his fingers against the table, nervously awaiting the arrival of his friends. They were always supportive of him, and he did his best to return that support. He orders everyone’s favorite drinks and a few desserts for the table, knowing that they were the type of group who needed food and drinks whenever they met up.

He was surprised that they were all able to meet up on such short notice, and he feels his heart swell when their messages come in. So, he sips on his vanilla cream cold brew as he waits at the table. He only has to wait about twenty minutes before Chungha and Hwasa arrive together, Hwasa’s Aston Martin announcing their presence before they’re even out of the car. Chungha skips ahead of them, and in the time since they’ve last seen each other, she dyed her hair blonde once more.

“Oppa!” She beams, throwing her arms around him. “I’ve missed you!”

“Chungha-yah, you’re always so loud,” Hwasa teases as she greets Junmyeon as well.

A little while after he greets them, Kyungsoo and Jongin arrive. He’s wrapped in a tight bear hug from Jongin, and Kyungsoo gives him a short nod as a greeting. Everyone settles into their seats, enjoying the dessert and drinks while catching up. Sunmi recently upgraded Chungha’s wedding ring as a “just because” gift, Hwasa and Chanyeol went on their first date (talking about it made Hwasa red in the face), and Jongin was beaming with joy since Kyungsoo officially agreed to be his boyfriend. Junmyeon was happy that his friends were doing well in their love lives, especially with the way that there seems to be a light glowing around all of them— he’s receptive of the joy overflowing at their table.

“Wait,” Jongin’s laughter dies down. “What did you mean in your text, Myeon? You had something to tell us?”

Junmyeon bites the inside of his cheek once all eyes are on him again, and he inhales slowly before speaking with confidence. “I broke up with Seojun.”

They’re all looking at him as though their eyes are going to fall right out of their heads, and a small smile stretches across his face. It tugs on his heartstrings the way that his longest relationship has ended, but at the same time he can’t get over the overwhelming happiness that is spreading through him. It’s Hwasa who speaks first.

“Junmyeon-ah, are you okay?”

He nods. “I mean, it’s only been an hour since, but I’m okay. It’ll be an adjustment, but I’m ready for it.”

Hwasa offers a small smile, and takes his hand across the table. In a way, he was thankful to have had his affair. That sounds completely wrong, but it forced him to recognize that his relationship wasn’t healthy, and that he deserved more than what he was getting. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get wrapped up the way that he did, but Yixing was willing to listen to him even if he was complaining, ate with him, and he especially managed to make him feel better when he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Junmyeon knew the reason for this, but he knew better than to say anything too soon.

“Well, I can admit that I’ve always hated Seojun,” Chungha speaks bluntly.

Hwasa swats his arm. “Chungha!”

“What, she’s not the only one.” Junmyeon chuckles when Jongin’s face twists.

“See, I’m not alone in my dislike!”

“Why didn’t you like him?”

“He seems to devious,” Jongin hums. “Always looks like he’s up to something or that he’s waiting for the right time to be an asshole for no reason. He has that look in his eye.”

Chungha nods while sipping her cold brew float. “You know, the look that he’s watching everyone and crazy possessive? He made me feel so weird sometimes.” 

Hwasa hums. “Junmyeon-ah, are you sure you’re alright? Wait, where are you going to stay?”

“I’m not sure,” he shrugs. “I’m sure I could stay in a sharehouse for the time being.”

“I can hook you up with the best realtor in Gangnam,” Jongin boasts. “His name’s Jongdae, and he helped me find the place I’m in now.”

“If you need anything or a shoulder to lean on, you know you have us, alright?”

Junmyeon feels his chest swell when Kyungsoo finally speaks up, and he feels at ease. Although he hadn’t (and definitely won’t) admit that he was sleeping with Yixing, he was sure that it would come in due time. Maybe he’d tell them that he and Yixing were something more, but that’s him getting ahead of himself. Junmyeon knew that he didn’t  _ have  _ to tell them anything, but it's what made their friendship work for as long as they have; they didn’t keep secrets to avoid having a falling out. The last time that happened, Jongin and Chungha didn’t speak to one another for two weeks, but they turned into a blubbering mess when they found out that their grudges were over a complete misunderstanding.

They spend the rest of their time together, laughing and conversing, before they all had their individual events to get back to. Junmyeon knew that he needed to get back to the apartment to start packing up his things, so he left the cafe with them, but Kyungsoo polls him aside.

“Junmyeon-ah, I—”

He shakes his head. “You seeing me with Yixing proved that I couldn’t keep pretending like there was nothing happening. You had every right to be judgemental, I was being dumb and careless.”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being like that. I just… I didn’t expect it at all. You look happier, though.”

His cheeks flame. “I feel happier, and thank you for coming.”

“Anytime, and someone is here for you.”

Junmyeon’s brow furrows as Kyungsoo motions behind him, and he turns quickly to see who it is. A smile instantly stretches across his features when he sees that it’s Yixing, but he turns back to Kyungsoo in confusion. “How did he know we were here?”

“I told him. I saw how you left Tiger Sugar yesterday and I felt bad.”

“Hyung—”

Kyungsoo’s phone vibrates incessantly. “Jongin’s rushing me, go.”

Junmyeon says his final goodbye to his friend before turning and heading towards Yixing, a bit of a bounce in his step. Yixing meets him halfway, and he’s soon engulfed in all things Yixing when his cologne consumes him, and he nuzzles his face into Yixing’s chest as a wide grin spreads across his face.

“You look like you’ve accomplished something today,” Yixing compliments.

“I did, and it feels good that it’s done.”

“What did you do?” Yixing takes his hand as they head back to the car. “Something fun?”

“I guess you could say that, but it’s even better. I’ll tell you about it someday.”

Yixing chuckles. “Are you being sly right now?”

“Only because I like messing with you.” He gently tugs Yixing’s arm to make him stop, and stands up on his toes to press a kiss against his lips. Yixing hums before pulling away.

  
“Come on. We’ve got an episode of  _ Itaewon Class  _ to finish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little more dialogue heavy, but another early chapter because I couldn't resist, and I'm about to do those assignments I said I would right now despite it being 12AM. Big things happened in this chapter, but I promise that you guys have no clue what's coming next. 🤫
> 
> As always, thank you so much for comments, kudos, and hits!
> 
> If you'd like, following me on Twitter and Curious Cat @jcnnierubies.
> 
> Until the next chapter! 🤎


	15. fourteen

Ever since taking off his ring, Junmyeon has felt weightless.

He returns to work with a clear head despite the lingering thoughts of where he’s going to live and how he’ll adjust, but he was looking forward to meeting with Jongdae this upcoming weekend. He couldn’t wait to have a space that he could decorate and call his own. With Yixing’s help, he was able to find a temporary sublet to stay in for a month while searching for his apartment, but Junmyeon was happy to be away from Seojun. He no longer felt as though he had a weight bearing down on his shoulders or a dark cloud over his head— for once, Junmyeon could breathe.

He’s thrown himself into work with full force, getting through manuscripts, emails, and meetings like there was nothing to it. He’d been busy for the last few days attempting to find a venue for the welcoming party with Jaemin and Chaeryeong, often setting up in one of the small meeting rooms so they could go over the locations that they found. They were able to officially decide on a cafe with ample seating and a beautifully lit patio space, so Junmyeon was going to run the decision by Irene before emailing the owner.

Junmyeon softly knocks on her office door, she waves him in, and takes a seat in front of her desk. She’s busy ending a conversation with someone, so he quietly opens his laptop and pulls up the venue.

“Yah, Baekhyun-ah. I pay you to get your clients into the media, not take the company car for your lunch dates.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know how Baekhyun responds, but Irene pinches her forehead.

Her eyes squint, and she smooths her hair behind her ear. “Bring the car back in thirty minutes and I’ll rip up the termination papers. You wouldn’t want to say goodbye to that cushy salary of yours, right?” There’s a pause. “I don’t care if you were forty-five _hours_ away— bring the car back!”

She hangs up, and allows her lips to stretch into a genuine smile.

“Hi Irene.”

“Hi Junmyeon. I want to kill him.”

“I know.”

“I miss us getting lunch together,” Irene pouts. “Have you been alright? Nothing too serious has happened right?”

“Some minor changes is all,” Junmyeon chuckles. “We can get lunch tomorrow. I don’t have any plans other than answering some more emails.”

“Good! I would like to have pizza, and what did you come to tell me?”

Junmyeon hands over this computer. “We figured out a place for the welcoming party. We talked with the owner and she said we could get the venue a month from now, but she wanted to get confirmation from you that this is the one you want.”

Irene clicks through the pictures, and her eyes light up.

“Junmyeon-ah, this place is perfect! Thank you so much for working with Jaemin and Chaeryeong— I need to buy them lunch. You guys are truly a lifesaver. I thought we were never going to find a place.”

Junmyeon smiles. “It’s no problem. I know you assigned them with the task, but they asked for help and I decided to see it through. The owner’s name is Yong-sun, and she’s waiting for your call.”

Irene folds her hands on top of one another, and beams at Junmyeon when he stands and collects his laptop. “You have no idea how much I was stressing out about this. Is there anything I can do? Do you want to go home early?”

“No, that’s okay,” his head shakes. “I have some stuff I need to finish, but thanks for the offer.”

He bows politely before leaving Irene’s office, and heads back to his own desk. Junmyeon fills the last few hours of his work day with minor tasks that he had been meaning to finish, but never got around to. He set up a meeting with the art director and staff to see how book designs for Chaeyoung and Jieun were coming along, and he was able to tease Chanyeol about his red tipped ears in their meeting earlier that morning (after a phone call with Hwasa) while they were talking through the office’s instant messaging system.

  
  
  
  
  


His workday ends uneventfully once he’s completed all of his tasks, and although he leaves a little later than planned, Junmyeon doesn’t let it ruin his evening. He makes a quick stop at the pharmacy to get more medicine as his cold is finally in its ending stage, and picks up the ingredients to make a light dinner of kimbap. He also grabs a bottle of wine on a whim. He was looking forward to a quiet night in with his food and whatever movie he chooses, so he beeps in the code once he finally arrives at his destination, and drops his purchases off in the kitchen.

Junmyeon showers quickly and slips on an oversized shirt that nearly swallows him whole and a pair of sweat shorts so he can get to cooking. He cuts some beef, fishcakes, and vegetables after giving the rice a little bit of a head start. Soon, savory scents are filling the space of the kitchen. He watches the television from his place and gets his prepping station ready, laying out the bamboo roll and a few sheets of nori.

He was at ease knowing that he wasn’t waiting for someone who had no intention of showing up, and that he could enjoy his night. The rice finishes, so he mixes in some sesame oil and salt before he starts preparing the kimbap. A soft smile appears on his features when he hears the door opening. 

Junmyeon rides himself of his smile as he pretends to focus on his preparation, pretending uninterested as a pair of arms circle around his waist.

“I gave you the door code for emergencies,” Yixing steals a slice of beef. 

“This _is_ an emergency. I haven’t had kimbap in forever. Plus, it was only fair if I shared.”

“You spoil me, Junmyeon-ah.”

Junmyeon playfully swats at Yixing and tells him to get comfortable; he feels so at peace that he can’t get over it. His cheeks burn a soft shade of pink when Yixing kisses his cheek and heads off to change out of his work clothes. He finishes up with the food and sets it on a plate at the breakfast bar when he returns. They eat together, Junmyeon overflowing with excitement as they talk about his work day, and he listens intently when Yixing shares what little details he can about his case against Seojun.

He could understand why he can’t be told much, and even then, he wonders if he knows too much. Junmyeon doesn’t know what’s going to happen to Seojun once everything is finished, but he’s crossing his fingers that Seojun gets what he deserves. Even when he went to Seoul Financial a few days prior, everything was operating as normal— as if there wasn’t a pending case against them. He’d be lying, though, if he said that he wasn’t afraid of what was to come. He knew Seojun like the back of his hand, and considering that his ex was used to a cushioned life where he didn’t have to worry about anything, he’d stop at nothing to ensure that he kept it that way. 

Damn, it feels good to call Seojun his ex.

The couple move from the breakfast bar to the couch, where they indulge in a few glasses of the wine that he picked up while watching a random movie. The wine was nothing special, but it tastes good. They only chat when they’re playfully debating over who the bad guy is and attempting to discover their movie, but eventually both the wine and the movie is forgotten when Junmyeon is tugged onto Yixing’s lap. Yixing teases him, gently brushing his tongue then biting his lower lip before their lips seal together, and Junmyeon loosely drapes his arms around Yixing’s neck.

Junmyeon can’t get enough of the sweet strawberry and cherry flavor that lingers on Yixing’s lips from the wine. He’s getting intoxicated, drunk on the way their lips slide against one another and how Yixing grips his hips.

He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol flowing through his veins or some other factor that’s contributing to his confidence, but Junmyeon shifts as he deepens their kiss, fingers gently gripping on Yixing’s hair. There’s minimal fabric between them as Yixing’s hands slide underneath his oversized shirt, brushing over his skin and making him jolt when his fingertips brush above the hem of his boxers. Junmyeon whimpers against Yixing’s lips, fingers pulling on Yixing’s hair, earning a groan from Yixing.

His lips leave Yixing’s trailing featherlight kisses against Yixing’s cheek before settling on the junction where Yixing’s neck and shoulder meet. Yixing’s scent makes Junmyeon dizzy, nipping the skin gently. Junmyeon barely has time to get sober from being drunk on everything about the man underneath him, and Yixing’s hand slides to the back of his neck to bring their lips back together. Their lips only disconnect for a fraction of a second when Yixing lifts his shirt over his head.

Yixing leaves a burning trail of kisses from his lips down to just below his earlobe, causing Junmyeon to giggle and squirm as Yixing tosses his shirt over the back of the couch. Yixing shifts, and Junmyeon’s back presses into the cool leather of the couch. His fingers remain tangled in Yixing’s hair, and Yixing cages his head as his legs lace around his waist. 

“Y-Yixing,” he stutters while pulling away to catch his breath. “ _Please_.”

“Please what?” He can hear the smirk in the man’s tone. “Use your words, baby.”

The pet name rolls off of Yixing’s tongue with such ease and Junmyeon huffs. His hips roll as Yixing begins to kiss down his chest, but his hips are gripped tightly to make him stop. His grip on Yixing’s hair loosens the further that he moves down, and his back arches from the couch.

“Don’t make me beg.”

“I said nothing of begging,” Yixing’s breaths fan against his abdomen. “Tell me what you want.”

“I-I…” His words melt into a moan as Yixing kisses just below his belly button, and his fingers grip his hair once more. “Stop teasing.”

“Tell me what you want and I’ll stop.”

Yixing doesn’t stop his mission, moving down and hooking his fingers into the waist of Junmyeon’s boxers. He kisses Junmyeon right over the fabric, and Junmyeon pulls Yixing’s hair a little too tight, earning a grunt from the man. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologizes, promptly pulling his fingers out of his hair. Yixing chuckles and moves to begin kissing and nipping the supple skin of his thigh. 

Junmyeon squirms, but he’s held in place. Yixing gently sinks his teeth down into his thigh, and a moan spills from his lips. “Please, _fuck_. Fuck me.”

The words are enough for Yixing to pull his boxers off completely, tossing them onto the floor before swallowing down Junmyeon's length with ease. The action makes Junmyeon’s breaths pick up, a chorus of moans flowing past his lips. Junmyeon draws his legs up in an attempt to push away from the sensitivity that he’s feeling, but Yixing’s grip moves from his hips to his thighs. His backside slides uncomfortably against the leather couch, and Yixing hooks Junmyeon’s legs over his shoulders. This is a new position for him, groaning as he’s tipping closer to the edge.

“Yix—”

His words are captured in his throat when Yixing concentrates on sucking the tip. The back of his hand presses against his mouth, trying to quieten the shallow moans that escape. Junmyeon’s eyes meet Yixing’s just as he begins to run his tongue from the base to the tip, and it makes blood shoot right to his dick. His hand falls on Yixing’s wrist when his hand wraps around him, But Junmyeon is so close to coming that he feels too weak to do anything more. Yixing keeps up with his movements for a few strokes, pulling his mouth off to lean up and capture Junmyeon’s lips once more. His legs move from Yixing’s shoulder as he moves up and they feel like lead. Junmyeon tastes himself on Yixing’s tongue, whimpering against his lips as Yixing’s hand slows down.

Junmyeon’s head is swimming, floating on cloud nine as he slows down his breathing and gingerly cups Yixing’s cheek. He has never had so much pleasure wash over him, and he shivers as he sits up, Yixing’s hand trailing up his spine. Junmyeon pulls away from Yixing, lids half closed thanks to his lust filled haze. They separate, but there’s barely any space between them when Junmyeon finds his words.

“Your room,” he whispers.

Yixing presses a chaste kiss to his lips, wrapping one arm around his waist and sliding the other underneath his ass as he stands from the couch. Junmyeon instantly wraps his legs around Yixing’s waist. He kicks the door closed behind him, and Yixing lowers himself down onto the bed, Junmyeon’s legs folding beside his thighs. They continue to kiss languidly and Junmyeon grips his shirt. 

“You’re wearing too much.”

“Undress me then.”

Junmyeon whines quietly, gripping the hem of Yixing’s shirt and pushing upwards. Yixing raises his arms to help, but his hands are instantly back on his skin. He moves to swiftly pull off his pants, Yixing easily raising his hips before kicking them off onto the floor. He’s swept up in another kiss and Yixing reaches into a bedside drawer to pull out what he’s searching for. A cap flips open and Junmyeon knows what’s to come. Yixing’s finger presses against his entrance, slowly sinking in. Junmyeon rocks back and a weak cry spills from his lips. 

A second finger slips into him, and his nails scratch into Yixing’s chest, earning a groan from him. Junmyeon drops his hand to wrap it around Yixing’s length, grip firm as he twists his wrist. Junmyeon’s hand size was relatively normal, he must say, but with Yixing’s dick in his grip, they looked smaller than usual. He watches the way that Yixing’s hips buck into his hand, and gets an idea.

“Let me ride you,” he whispers.

A glimmer of deviousness reflects in Yixing’s eye. “Be my guest.”

“But,” he moans when Yixing slips his fingers out of him. “You’re not allowed to touch.”

“ _Fuck_.” 

Yixing directs him to the drawer where the condoms are, and Junmyeon slips from over him to retrieve them. He finds what he’s looking for, but sinks his lower lip between his teeth as he sits on the edge of the bed. He can hear Yixing shifting up further onto the bed, and soon, a hand brushing against his spine snaps Junmyeon out of his trance. Riding someone was not a usual sex position for him, although it was something he greatly enjoyed, so he wants nothing more than to back his words up with confidence.

He turns back to Yixing, crawling over and setting himself lightly on the tops of the man’s thighs as he rips the condom packet open with his teeth. Junmyeon slides it down Yixing’s length and gives it a few strokes as he moves up to his knees. Yixing’s hands twitch from where they rest at his sides, and Junmyeon rests his free hand at the side of Yixing’s head as he leans down to press a chaste kiss against his lips. Yixing chases him when he pulls away, and Junmyeon takes this as an opportunity to sink down onto Yixing’s length. He moves slowly, getting used to the stretch until he is fully seated. 

They both moan in satisfaction, small shocks shooting up Junmyeon’s spine, resting a hand against Yixing’s abdomen in order to ground himself. “You’re so big, fuck,” he moans out.

Junmyeon has had sex plenty of times— he has seen stars enough to know what he likes and how he likes it, but Yixing somehow manages to exceed expectation every time. They’ve had sex multiple times, but he feels like it’s the first time all over again as Yixing looks up at him as if he’s holding the universe in his hands. Junmyeon starts to move his hips, rocking slowly as he builds towards a rhythm. His head falls back, hips rolling and sweet moans spilling from his lips when he feels Yixing’s hands slide over his ass. Junmyeon’s head snaps up almost immediately, prying Yixing’s hands off of him and planting them above the man’s head. 

He doesn’t stop rolling his hips, though.

“I told you not to touch,” Junmyeon sighs.

“Can you blame me?” Yixing looks up at their hands. “You’re a little kinky, aren’t you?”

Junmyeon falters when Yixing thrusts into him. “Sh-Shut up.”

“Make me.”

Junmyeon takes that as a challenge, keeping Yixing’s wrists in his hands as he starts to move his hips with much more vigor than before. The feeling of Yixing fucking up into him has his eyes rolling back into his head, and he moans when he sees his stomach bulge with each thrust. The moans turn a little less melodious as Yixing keeps up with his thrusting, panting as he starts to bounce on Yixing’s cock. He whines, doing his best to keep up with Yixing’s perfectly timed thrusts, eventually letting one of his wrists go in order to brace a hand against the bed. 

Yixing takes the chance, reaching down to wrap his hand around Junmyeon’s length, and he instantly falters, falling forward until their chests stick together. He’s warm all over as Yixing sits up from the mattress, continuing to thrust into him while jerking him off slowly. Tears began to well in the corners of his eyes, and he attempts to blink them away as he buries his face into Yixing’s neck. His breaths fan against Yixing neck, and the friction he’s experiencing is beginning to feel euphoric. 

“I-I’m gonna…”

“Come for me.”

Yixing’s thrusts pick up speed then, drilling into Junmyeon without abandon and Junmyeon’s nails scratch into Yixing’s back. The sound of Yixing moaning directly into his ear has Junmyeon on edge, working his hips as best he can with his orgasm pending. He pulls himself from Yixing’s neck, fingers slipping into the older man’s damp locks as he seals their lips together. He knows he’s not far from coming, hips jerking erratically as the overwhelming sensitivity that he felt before becomes too much to bear.

“Yixing!”  
  


Junmyeon’s head falls back as he comes, pitched moans spilling out of him as Yixing continues to chase his own high. Yixing cups Junmyeon’s cheek, pulling him back down for a kiss despite his heavy panting, and their teeth click together while Junmyeon swallows down Yixing’s moans. It takes a few more thrusts, and soon, Yixing is stiffening underneath him, spilling into the condom. 

They’re both quiet save for their heavy pants as they come down from their highs, and Junmyeon remembers the mess of stickiness between them. He erupts into laughter, and Yixing does too, slipping his fingers between Junmyeon’s.

  
  
  
  


The clock strikes 3:23am as Junmyeon sits in a hot bubble bath with Yixing. With the door closed and the chill outside, the steam builds on the window and the mirrors, enveloping them in a Mallow Extract scented heaven. They managed to peel themselves away from each other once Junmyeon regained feeling in his legs, but even then, Yixing carried him into the bathroom. They lazily kissed while the tub filled with Junmyeon pouting dramatically when Yixing stepped away for all of five seconds to put in the bubble bath. They had been enjoying the added heat that both of their bodies provided to the tub, Junmyeon’s back resting against Yixing’s chest as Yixing gently washes his hair. They share light conversation, voices barely above a whisper, kissing without breaking sentences.

Junmyeon has his eyes closed as Yixing rinses out his hair, sighing contentedly. “Why did you pursue me?” He asks, eyes opening.

“Because you were cute,” Yixing teases, and Junmyeon nudges him.

“I’m being serious!”

“I am too!” Yixing kisses the side of his head. “It’s because you rejected me.”

Junmyeon looks like a deer in headlights. “What?”

“You rejected me when I’ve been so used to getting what I want, and that includes you. I don’t know, it was… humbling? Unexpected? It knocked my ego down a notch or two, which may have been a good thing. You’re the first person in a long time that I’ve had genuine interest in. When you told me to fuck off, I couldn’t get enough.”

“You could have chosen anyone else, though,” Junmyeon sits up. “I’m not all that interesting.”

“Says who? Junmyeon-ah, come on.”

Junmyeon twists around so he’s facing Yixing, but averts his attention down to the bubbles in the tub. “You’re just saying that because you’re sleeping with me.”

“Jun—”

“I don’t mean that in a self deprecating way,” he corrects himself. “It’s just… it’s been a long time since someone asked me about my day or ate with me or tell me if I looked nice. I rejected you because I was engaged, but also because I was afraid of someone else giving me the things that I wasn’t getting from my fiance. It’s partly why I picked that fight with you after I got off the phone. I, um… I thought Seojun was cheating on me, but I never got proof or a confirmation. I think I was more upset with myself then, you know? For not seeing the signs and for not getting out quicker. I felt guilty because I cheated on _him_ , and being with you felt right, even though it was so wrong. I felt like I used you.”

There’s a short moment of silence. “Junmyeon-ah,” Yixing pulls him close. “You didn’t use me, so don’t feel like that. I understand why you did what you did, but even if I’m not that person, you deserve to have someone who won’t hurt you like that.”

Junmyeon swallows down the lump in his throat, and leans forward to gently press his lips against Yixing’s. The kiss doesn’t last long as Junmyeon pulls away almost as soon as it began, and sinks his teeth into his lower lip. He looks into Yixing’s deep brown hues and opens his mouth to speak again, but Yixing cuts him off with another gentle kiss,

“I know what you’re going to say,” he mumbles while tugging the younger man up onto his lap. “I know what you’re feeling because I’m feeling it too, but we should wait, alright? You only recently ended your engagement, and I don’t want you to rush. We have time.”

For the first time in a long time, Junmyeon feels tears well up in his ducts, but they’re not the bad kind. He tightly wraps his arms around Yixing's neck as he buries his face into the side of it, never wanting to let him go. Junmyeon was willing to wait for however long he needed before he was ready to open his heart to someone new, even if Yixing managed to break the shell around it long before he wanted to admit it to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shi...take mushrooms, we're nearly at 900 hits! 😱 I can't thank everyone enough for reading my 'lil work. I was so nervous going into this, but I'm so happy that you guys are reading and enjoying it! Thank you so much!
> 
> And also ... that wasn't too bad was it MFJDNSNFDS when I tell you guys it took me like two days to write that scene but I constantly felt like I was sinning I'm not even kidding JFNDSBHFDS, but I hope you guys enjoyed nonetheless!
> 
> Since my semester is rolling, I'm thinking about making Sundays (even though it's 3am on a Monday hehe) my official upload day, but then again I suck at keeping a schedule.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this extra long chapter this time (a whopping 4.2k in comparison to my usual 2.6k), and I can't wait to read your comments! Update 201130 a bit of a shorter chapter because I shortened the sex scene to make it a little better KFDNSFH.
> 
> As always, if you want, please follow me on Twitter & Curious Cat @jcnnierubies.
> 
> Until the next chapter! 🤎


	16. fifteen

Although it was nearly five in the morning when he and Yixing finally went to sleep, Junmyeon somehow managed to wake up in enough time to go to work. He didn’t have time to stop and grab a change of clothes from the apartment, so he borrowed something of Yixing’s that would actually fit. He doesn’t know how he was able to squeeze into a pair of the taller man’s pants (if the cuffs he had to hold were any indication) and a soft blue Champion sweatshirt. Luckily he had worn white sneakers to work, so he was able to make his outfit look somewhat decent.

His talk with Yixing was still fresh on his mind as he rode in the backseat of the cab from the apartment, fingers swiping a bit on concealer over the dark circles under his eyes. Their “talk” lasted for all of ten minutes before they were kissing each other again, and they remained like that until the bubbles deflated and the water got cold. 

He was excited to know that he wasn’t the only one who was catching feelings. Really, he hadn’t been expecting to hear it, so his chest warmed and he’s sure that his cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. There was still some nervousness lingering over him considering that it hasn’t been very long since he ended his engagement. 

Junmyeon didn’t think that he was ever going to have feelings for someone other than Seojun. For the last few years, he believed that Seojun was the only man for him. Their relationship was the furthest from perfect, but he believed that they were a good match. Seojun made him laugh, took him to places he never would have tried, and kissed him breathless. He wanted to believe that they’d have the dream wedding that he’d always wanted— getting married in an intimate, but gorgeous ceremony and honeymooning wherever the wind took them. 

When they got engaged, Junmyeon had been the happiest man on the planet.

_ It had been a few days after their anniversary when Junmyeon and Seojun decided to go out. Their anniversary fell during the week, so they decided to celebrate on the actual day with something small, ordering takeout and a small cake to share. They exchanged gifts, Seojun getting Junmyeon a glittering watch from Piaget, and Junmyeon getting him a pair of Andy Palladium-plated cufflinks from Berluti. The couple decided to keep things simple for that night, and although they weren’t able to go out on an actual date because of their work schedules, Junmyeon couldn’t have been happier. _

_ Despite it being cold out (snowing, actually), Junmyeon’s gloved hand gripped Seojun’s tightly as they were walking along a path at the Han River. He loved to see the Banpo Bridge fountain whenever he got the chance, and the cold weather wasn’t going to deter him from seeing it. He and Seojun made small conversation, with Seojun stealing a few kisses whenever Junmyeon started rambling. _

_ “She’s an incredible worker, though, baby. Everyone else was so against her because she clearly comes from a wealthy family, but she went to Yonsei! I got the chance to talk to her after her interview and she really knows her stuff _ —”

_ “Junmyeon-ah,” Seojun chuckles. “I thought we were celebrating our anniversary, not a new employee.” _

_ His cheeks flame. “Sorry. I keep rambling.” _

_ “Yah,” Seojun scolds him teasingly. “I love hearing you talk. It’s okay.” _

_ “Even when it’s boring work stuff? Or me talking about absolutely nothing?” _

_ Seojun grins and nods, brushing his fingernails against Junmyeon’s scalp. He always found his fingers in his hair to be one of the most calming things a person could do, so he relishes in the feeling of Seojun’s fingers raking gently through the locks. _

_ The couple start to walk again to keep their bodies warm, and Junmyeon manages to sneak in a few selfies. He takes a moment to look at the pictures, and although they’re slightly blurry, Junmyeon loves the way that they turned out. He’s so busy moving through the motions to upload the pictures to his social media that he doesn’t realize Seojun is no longer holding his hand, or standing beside him. _

_ “Baby _ — _?” _

_ Junmyeon nearly drops his phone, mouth falling open in shock as he sees Seojun down on one knee. His hand immediately flies over his mouth, stomach in knots, and heart pounding as he watches Seojun reach into his pocket. He’s fully aware of what’s coming next, but he’s on the verge of screaming. If there's one thing Junmyeon knows, it’s that he and Seojun were  _ terrible  _ at keeping secrets from one another. _

_ He wonders when he even had the time to buy a ring, or how long he had been planning to propose, but Junmyeon’s eyes are misty either way. His heart is racing in his chest, and tears are welling up in his eyes. _

_ “Junmyeon-ah, for the past three years, you have made me the luckiest and happiest man in Seoul. I have never loved someone the way that I love you, and I wanted nothing more than to have you by side forever,” his voice breaks, but a smile appears on his features. “I want to be the man that you call when you’re happy, sad, or when you’re drunk and a restaurant didn’t make your chicken extra crispy the way you like it,” Junmyeon giggles. “I want nothing more than to someday carry you over the threshold of our new apartment with you as my husband. Will you marry me?” _

_ Junmyeon stands frozen, the tears in his eyes spilling over. His nose starts running, but he’s sure it has to do with the cold winds nipping at his face. He looks down at the glistening gold rings in the red velvet box, and Junmyeon throws himself at the still kneeling man. _

_ Seojuns stands quickly and manages to catch Junmyeon, who wraps his arms around the taller man’s neck as a soft cry leaves his lips. “I would love to marry you!” _

_ His now fiance wraps his own arms tightly around his waist, keeping a firm grip on the box in his hands, and kisses Junmyeon square on the lips.  _

_ “I love you, I love you, I love you.”  _

_ Junmyeon presses a kiss against Seojun’s lips after each love fueled statement, and he’s soon placed on his feet so Seojun can slide their rings on. The gold ring looks gorgeous alongside Junmyeon’s tanned skin, and the diamonds reflect the surrounding light beautifully. He looks up at Seojun when he feels the man’s fingers gently wiping against his tear tracked cheeks. _

_ “How did you pull this off? You suck at keeping secrets!” _

_ Seojun grins. “I kept it hidden at work. You’re always reorganizing something in the house, so I knew you’d find it.” _

_ Junmyeon looks down at the ring again. “You know me very well, baby.” He squishes himself against Seojun and beams up at him. “Thank you.” _

_ Seojun’s brows knit together and he wraps his coat around Junmyeon to provide extra warmth. “What are you thanking me for?” _

_ He nuzzles his cheek against the taller’s shoulder, and draws in a breath. _

_ “For loving me. I’ve never loved someone more than I do right now, and that’s saying a lot because you’re my first real boyfriend. Um, fiance,” they chuckle quietly. “I love you. You’re the only person that I want to be with for the rest of forever. Promise that you’ll always be with me?” _

_ Seojun gently touches the back of Junmyeon’s hair, kissing the top of his head.  _

_ “Oh, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” _

Junmyeon gently fingers at the space where his ring once was, the skin a bit lighter than the rest of his hand. He knew that ending his relationship with Seojun was the best for him— there was no reason for him to stay with a man who no longer had interest in him, but he was hurt by what had transpired. 

He had fallen in love for the first time with Seojun, right as he was coming out of being a broke college student who didn’t have time for relationships. Junmyeon had his fair share of hookups with random boys at parties in Hongdae, but they never went past fierce making out and touching, with Seojun leaving the room as soon as he saw the opportunity. 

Seojun was different in the sense that he never pressured Junmyeon. It took six months and fourteen dates for Junmyeon to finally invite Seojun into his small studio apartment, and it took about an hour of watching a random movie for him to work up the courage to go further than kissing. Junmyeon had been comfortable with Seojun, but he hates that his heart had to be continuously broken to learn that the man he loved wasn’t the man he thought he was. 

Junmyeon was entering the building’s lobby when his phone rings, and an unknown number comes up on the screen. He has half a mind to not answer, but decides to anyway. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Kim Junmyeon-ssi?” 

He swallows. “Yes, this is him. May I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Kim Minseok, I’m Zhang Yixing’s partner in a particular case. I wanted to reach out because your name has come up a few times, and I was hoping that I could ask you a few questions. Are you available to meet with me?”

“Sure, um, I’m available after six. Should I meet you at the office?”

“If that’s not too much trouble. I’ll let Lisa and Yeji know you’re coming in tonight, and thank you. I can’t wait to speak with you.”

Junmyeon hums in acknowledgement as the line goes dead, and he shoves his phone into the pocket of his jeans as he steps into the elevator. He hopes that his workday will calm the sudden onslaught of nerves that come onto him, and he wants nothing more than to get through the day without incident.

  
  
  
  


The day drones on, but Junmyeon is barely focusing. The energy that he had a few days ago has suddenly disappeared, and he’s barely able to focus on typing out the emails that required at least eighty percent of his attention. He figures that grabbing a cup of coffee would help, so he drafts the email he’s working on and heads off towards the breakroom. 

He makes a cup of instant coffee, moving through the steps with minimal thoughts. The scent of the warm coffee comforts him as he sips on it, but he still can’t concentrate. His mind keeps getting filled with what his meeting with Minseok may bring. He doesn’t know what they want to know from him— he’s been kept in the dark as far as what Seojun did at work, but he was willing to help where he could. In all honesty, he’s afraid to know what information they have on Seojun. If they’ve been building a case for over a year, there’s no telling how much evidence they have. 

Junmyeon wasn’t ridiculously torn up about his relationship ending, but he had every right to have some feelings towards it. However, he’s heartbroken that the man he spent four years of his life with treated others so poorly— like they were dirt on the bottoms of his Italian leather shoes. His parents were among those who needed a loan to get by at a point in their life, when they were starting their small coffee shop. His parents both had careers that they weren’t happy in, his mother being a violinist and his father a financial analyst, but they always wanted to have a business of their own. 

They were in their late twenties when they kneeled in front of their parents, apologizing deeply for their selfish actions. His parents gave themselves a year, and they worked tirelessly, using up nearly all of their savings to open their store. The first couple of months was a struggle, having late nights as they couldn’t afford to hire employees yet so they worked everyday from nine in the morning to eight at night, and they had to take out the loan when they were faced with the inability to pay their rent after one of their espresso machines suddenly broke.

They were in their forties by the time they had Junmyeon, and never shied away from telling him about how hard it had been for them. Their store didn’t start to consistently get business until about eight months after opening, and that was thanks to shifting their appeal to college students with the introduction of their coffee stamp, allowing a free coffee after six purchases. His mother would often recount how they sometimes had to choose between paying the rent for their store or paying rent for their apartment, which was yet another reason why they had to take out a loan. 

Slowly, they were able to pay back their loan and even went on to open three more stores, now living a comfortable life in a beautiful villa in Yongsan. Although his parents were able to come out on top, Junmyeon knows that not everyone has that same outcome.

He wonders what tempted Seojun, or had he been doing this the entire time he worked at Seoul Financial? Junmyeon was never able to get much out of Seojun whenever he came home, but he never thought to question the lack of an answer.

_ Junmyeon is busy cleaning up the bit of dishes from breakfast a little while after returning home from work. He’s wearing something much more comfortable than trousers and a sweater, and he was anticipating the dinner on the stove that would be finishing soon so he could relax. About fifteen minutes prior, he had gotten a phone call from Seojun that he was on his way home, and Junmyeon couldn’t wait to see him. _

_ He had a particularly hard day at work after being berated by the editorial team leader, who insisted that Junmyeon had taken the wrong image to the print shop. Junmyeon tried to explain that he was only following the instructions given in an email and used the image that was attached, but  _ apparently  _ they were now stuck with forty thousand copies of the wrong cover. His correction of the team leader (back talk, as she would put it) led to him getting kicked in the shin. He can still feel the ache in his leg, and he’s sure that an ugly bruise will form by morning. _

_ Junmyeon is so wrapped up in his thoughts and tasks that he doesn’t hear the front door opening, nor does he hear Seojun calling out to him. He finally snaps out of his trance when Seojun wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him close, and enveloping him in the warm scent of his cologne. Junmyeon sighs heavily and visibly relaxes, keeping his hands on the edge of the sink as Seojun kisses his temple. _

_ “Hard day?” Junmyeon nods. _

_ “Do you want to talk about it?” He shakes his head. _

_ “If I talk about it I’m sure I’ll only end up with a headache again,” Junmyeon dries off his hands and turns around in Seojun’s arms, standing up on his toes to wrap his arms around the taller man’s neck. “You should go get changed. I’m almost finished with dinner.” _

_ Seojun kisses his temple. “I’ll be back.” _

_ Junmyeon relishes in the soft kiss, needing the gentle act after his day. Seojun heads off to their shared bedroom as he checks on their dinner in the oven. He made the simple dish of Seafood Cheese Tteokbokki, as he hadn’t been in the mood to make anything too elaborate. He’s carefully placing the hot pot onto the table with two bowls of kimchi, and Seojun comes out of their bedroom dressed in his loungewear. He’s been growing his hair for a while now, so his dark locks are pulled from his face with an elastic. _

_ Junmyeon is about to grab chopsticks and their bowls of rice, but Seojun beats him to the punch. He gets out a can of beer for Seojun and a glass of water for himself, sinking down into his chair. _

_ “How was your day at work?” Junmyeon leans back in his chair after swallowing down his third bite. “Anything interesting happen?” _

_ Seojun shakes his head. “It was the usual: crunching numbers, unfortunately turning couples down for home and car loans. The team leader taking credit for our work. Sometimes I question if I actually love my job or not.” _

_ “Yuck, what a jerk and it’s not your fault that it’s hard getting approved for a loan these days—” _

_ “Did I say that it was my fault?” Seojun suddenly snaps. _

_ Junmyeon is taken aback, but he quickly disagrees. “No, no! I was just trying to _ — _ ” _

_ “What were you trying to do, hm? You’re so goddamn condescending sometimes, and I wonder if you actually listen to yourself.” _

_ “Yah, Park Seojun!” Junmyeon scoffs. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you or what happened to you at work, but don’t take it out on me. You’re not the only one that has had a hard day today, but you don’t need to talk to me like that. You’re such an asshole sometimes.”  _

_ The metal chopsticks in his hands clank unceremoniously against the dining table, and the legs of his chair scrape noisily as he stomps out of the kitchen. He leaves Seojun alone and stalks to their bedroom, slamming the door behind him and dumping himself onto the bed. He’s fuming at the fact that Seojun blew up on him like that, arms folded across his chest uncomfortably as he lays on his side. _

_ The moment replays in his head a few more times, and he mutters angrily to himself at how aggravated he was. Junmyeon makes short eye contact with Seojun when he shuffles into the room, and Junmyeon turns away with a huff.  _

_ “Baby…” _

_ “You’re an asshole,” he huffs, sitting up. “You doing that was so unnecessary when all I was trying to do was comfort you. I had half a mind to punch you.” _

_ Seojun moves closer to the bed and settles in front of Junmyeon. He gently reaches over to touch his knee, and Junmyeon feels the pressure between his ears slowly release. He’s sure that steam is escaping from his ears. He wasn’t really looking to have another headache. _

_ “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m under a lot of pressure at work and it wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you.” _

_ Junmyeon watches him warily. “I had a bad day too, but I’m not taking it out on you. Don’t be so mean to me, especially when I did nothing to deserve it.” _

_ “You’re right, and I’m sorry.” _

_ Junmyeon gently takes Seojun’s hand and pulls him close, allowing the man to slip between his thighs. Their lips pressed together in a warm kiss, and Junmyeon tastes the bit of spice from their food that lingers on Seojun’s lips. They kiss languidly for a while, and it’s when Junmyeon lets out a needy “please” that their actions move further. _

_ He’s firmly fucked down into the mattress, Seojun seemingly releasing his frustrations, his head draped over the edge of the bed. Seojun slows his thrusting to lean down and kiss Junmyeon, who had to take deep breaths in order to steady himself. The breaths are sucked right out of him as Seojun kisses him, and lazily drapes his arms around Seojun’s neck. Seojun begins to move his hips again, and Junmyeon’s eyes roll back with a groan. _

_ “Tell me you’re mine.” _

_ Junmyeon can barely focus, lips gently wrapping around the tip of Seojun’s thumb when he feels it brushing against his spit slick lower lip. Seojun pulls his thumb from Junmyeon’s mouth, and he leaves a gentle kiss against the pad of it as he gathers his words. He looks deep into Seojun’s lust filled hues. _

_ “I’m yours.” _

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon is grateful for the small umbrella he keeps stowed away in his desk drawer in the case of rain. It had been raining off and on for the last few days, which he didn’t complain about as he got to cuddle with Yixing on the couch while enjoying movies. He was just about to leave the building for his meeting with Minseok when a previously impeccably dressed Jennie came back in soaking wet. She shoots Seulgi with a sharp cut of the eye when the older woman fails to stifle a laugh. He was able to provide Jennie with a bit of shelter under his umbrella as he walked her to her cab, and she thanked him profusely despite how upset she was that her new Louis Vuitton bag had gotten wet. 

He’s sure that his evening can’t get any weirder (taking in the account of all the memories that keep flooding his head), but a particularly rude office worker runs into him and causes his phone to clatter onto the soaked sidewalk. Junmyeon wants nothing more than to berate the man, but seeing as though it’s clear that the man wasn’t going to care, he lets it go. Thankfully, his phone has no real damage other than a shattered screen protector, but that’s an easy replacement. 

Junmyeon quickly waves down a cab, carefully peeling off the protector and tossing it before he attempts to order another one. He slips into the car, completely unaware that he’s sitting in the front seat. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he locks his phone to stop being rude. “I can get—”

His mouth runs dry and the hairs at the back of his neck stands up when he sees that it’s Seojun sitting in the front seat. He stumbles to grip the car handle, and no matter how many times he pulls on it, the door won’t budge. Junmyeon attempts to shove his shoulder into it a few times, and he’s  _ praying  _ that it’s just sticky, but his hopes are dashed.

He’s trapped.

“Let me out,” he tries to say with confidence.

“Oh, baby. That’s not going to happen. We need to have a little talk.”

Junmyeon’s breaths are choppy and he’s sure that he’ll throw up if he doesn’t find a way to calm himself down. A panic attack is sure to come, tears welling in his eyes as he frantically tries pulling on the door handles again. Seojun is impeccably dressed as always, chin length locks styled perfectly. The smile on his face is perhaps meant to be comforting, but Junmyeon is growing more and more uncomfortable, especially with the devilish look in his eyes.

“Let me out of the car,  _ please _ ! I don’t want to talk—!”

Junmyeon's mouth burns, his upper lip clipping his tooth as he feels his front teeth throb. He looks down at his hand, spotted with blood, and then that he realizes he’s been punched. A soft sob leaves his lips, and out of everything he could have expected as a response, he didn’t think that he was going to be punched in the mouth. His hand continues to dab at his mouth as a few tears spill down his cheeks.

Suddenly, his phone begins to vibrate, but he doesn’t dare to reach for it.

Seojun grabs the device from his grip, and looks down at the screen. “Kim Minseok,” he reads aloud. “You’ve got a thing for lawyers, huh? Are you fucking him too?”

Heat runs down his back, and he looks up out of shock, lips parting. “How did you…”

“Oh, baby,” Seojun grips his jaw. “I’m not as stupid as you must have thought I was a fucking week ago. You really lied to my face, and don’t worry about how I found out.”

Junmyeon flinches as Seojun reaches over into the glove box, promptly tossing a stack of photos onto his lap. His stomach is just about to fall out of his ass as he sees himself kissing Yixing the day they were at Cheongna Lake Park and at Tiger Sugar. His lower lip wobbles, and he wants nothing more than to disappear.

“P-Please don’t hurt him. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Seojun grins wickedly, pulling Junmyeon’s face closer to press an unwanted kiss against his lips. The force of the kiss makes his mouth throb even more, and he tastes the metallic of his blood. He roughly shoves Junmyeon away and settles back into his seat, switching the car’s gear and getting ready to pull away from the curb when he rolls down the window.

  
“We’re going to have  _ a lot  _ to talk about,” Seojun drops his phone onto the concrete. “We can’t have  _ any  _ distractions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀 and I oop!
> 
> Hi guys, I'm back with another chapter! This one is coming out a little bit later than I planned because I had a minor case of writer's block and a stack of homework to barrel through, but we're here with another one! This chapter had a few flashbacks of Seojun and Junmyeon's relationship, so please tell me how you felt about them! They're definitely not going to recur much, but it was fun to explore!
> 
> As I'm typing this chapter note, we're at 993 hits and ... you guys are gonna make me cry 🥺. This fic is nowhere near over and I only started it about a month ago, but I'm super grateful for everyone who has read, left a kudos, or left a comment thus far! I'm so, so appreciative of each and every one of you.
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter & ask me anything on my Curious Cat @jcnnierubies.
> 
> Until the next chapter! 🤎


	17. sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm here with another trigger warning. This chapter includes features of kidnapping, violence, and mentions of death. 
> 
> Please read with caution, and I'll be updating the tags to ensure that everything mentioned is tagged accordingly.

Yixing checks the time on his watch, and it’s nearly thirty minutes past six.

He checks his phone and sees that he has no missed notifications. He knows that Junmyeon’s job isn’t far from the office, and nearly forty minutes ago he had gotten a text from Junmyeon letting him know that he was on the way. Yixing has called Junmyeon four times in the last half hour, but each call goes straight to voicemail. He had gotten used to the younger man answering the phone on the second ring, voice blanketed with a grin when he spoke, so it’s getting under Yixing’s skin that he hasn’t answered or called him back.

Yixing doesn’t know what’s happening, but it’s not sitting well with him.

He’s aware of the meeting that Junmyeon was going to have with Minseok, but he’s beginning to worry the longer that it takes for him to show up. Yixing can’t focus on the email that he’s typing as the minutes tick by, constantly checking his phone even as he leaves his office. He stands there for a few minutes, eyes trained on the elevators in the lobby as he hopes to see a wet Junmyeon coming in. The weather has taken a turn for the worst, rumbling thunder rolling and lightning striking in the sky. He wants to blame Junmyeon’s tardiness on getting caught up in the weather.

“Mr. Zhang,” Lisa speaks up as she hands up the phone. “I tried calling Mr. Kim again, but he’s still not answering.”

Yixing’s hand slips into the pocket of his trousers as he nods in acknowledgment. “Thank you, Lisa. You can head home for the night, drive safe alright?”

Lisa gives a small smile and begins to collect her things as Yixing turns on his heel and heads toward Minseok’s office. Minseok, much like himself, worked as a prosecutor at SOP. They often worked side by side in various cases, and they were known for their ninety-eight percent conviction rate. They were a force to be reckoned with, and it was rare for them to ever lose a case, but they were also the type to never shy away from a challenge. 

It’s just getting under his skin that Junmyeon is not answering his phone calls.

He pushes open the door of Minseok’s office, and the shorter man looks up from his computer. “Has he still not arrived?”

Yixing shakes his head. “It’s not like him— I think something’s wrong.”

“What could be wrong?” Minseok leans back in his chair. “Where did you say he works again?”

“Hanuel Publishing. It’s barely five miles from here, and even if the weather is bad, he would have called to let us know he’d be late. I’m getting a bad feeling, Seok.”

“Has he mentioned his ex at all? Other than ending the relationship with him?”

“No, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Yixing is careful not to mention the true intimacy of his relationship with Junmyeon, but simply  _ thinking  _ about Seojun was making his blood boil. He knows that they started seeing each other before Junmyeon knew about the case, but he couldn’t risk it. An unwanted thought crosses his mind, and he has to pinch the bridge of his nose in order to get rid of it. The last thing he wants to believe is that Seojun could have done something, but he’s not going to have that kind of thought and not act on it.

“I’m going to look for him,” Yixing blurts. “I’ll go to Haneul and see if someone is still there; maybe he got caught up with work. Stay here in case he shows up?”

“Of course, and keep your phone on.”

Yixing leaves the office as quickly as he entered, and heads off towards his own to slip on his coat. He grabs his keys, phone and wallet, not bothering to grab anything else. The only thing on his mind is figuring out where Junmyeon could have gone. He doesn’t care if Junmyeon calls him from a payphone, or from his own, but he knows that the longer he goes without hearing from him, the more his heart begins to ache.

He would be a liar if he said that Junmyeon didn’t tug on his heartstrings. From the way that his cheeks burned pink whenever Yixing teased him, or the way that Junmyeon would drape his arms around Yixing’s neck when he was seeking comfort, Yixing couldn’t get enough. He could tell that Junmyeon liked skinship, and his eyes expressed how he was feeling long before he ever opened his mouth.

It had been a few years since Yixing’s last relationship, and although what he and Junmyeon had currently was more casual than anything, he knew that he couldn’t lie to himself forever.

He forgoes taking the elevator, long limbs barreling down the stairwell and towards the parking garage. Yixing jogs towards his car, the lights flickering twice as he unlocks the car from the key fob. He slips in and starts up the car, peeling out the parking garage as if he was on his way to put out a fire. The rain is much heavier than he was expecting, especially considering that the office’s building had noise cancelling elements to it. Yixing’s not sure if one has the ability to drive both recklessly and as safely as they can considering the thunderstorm, but he  _ has  _ to find Junmyeon.

It takes no time for him to reach Haneul’s building, and from the looks of it, no one is there. He knows that the building itself would be closing soon, so he turns on his hazard lights and takes long strides to the entrance. The weather is so bad, though, that he still gets soaked. He’s about to push the door open, but a particularly tired looking security guard is already locking the doors. Yixing brushes his wet hair out of his eyes and pulls on the door out of frustration, but he knocks on the glass when the guard doesn’t move.

“Have you seen Kim Junmyeon?” He shouts over the sound of the rain.

The security officer seems to pay him no mind, and he knocks again, louder than before.

“ _ Kim Junmyeon _ , he works at Haneul!” He flips through his wallet, and shoves his ID badge from the prosecutor’s office against the glass in hops that it will sway the guard in his favor. “Was he here!?”

The security guard laughs and rolls his eyes, and if Yixing had the strength, he would have broken the glass on the door. He probably would have punched the smug security guard in the face, but the last thing he needed was going to jail. He slides his fingers through his soaked hair, scratching the back as he thinks. The only other person that he could contact is Irene, but he’s sure that she’s already gone for the night. He has no idea what to do outside of attempting to call Junmyeon again, but the phone goes straight to voicemail.

He wants nothing more than to hear the other say that he’s okay. He’ll accept being told that his phone died or that he wanted to get chicken because he was craving it. He doesn’t care what kind of excuse he was to hear, he just wants to know that Junmyeon is safe.

Yixing decides to call Junmyeon one more time, not caring that he was soaked to the bone. He’s just about to hang up when a familiar sound catches his ear. It’s only for a brief moment and for about as long as the final ring before his phone went to voicemail. Yixing quickly dials the number again. He walks to the end of his car, following the tone, and then he sees it.

Junmyeon’s phone.

He doesn’t know how it has managed to survive in this weather, but it’s blaring some song he’s never heard, and it answers the question that Junmyeon  _ had  _ been here. But, where is he now? He crouches to pick it up and his name flashes on the shattered screen for barely thirty seconds, and Yixing feels a cold chill run down his spine at the sight of all the missed calls and text messages he had.

_ Yixing (6) _

_ Kim Minseok (3) _

_ Chungha (4) _

_ Choi & Associates (2) _

_ iMessages (9) _

  
  


Yixing grips the phone and goes back to his car, slipping inside and angrily banging a fist against the steering wheel. If Junmyeon’s phone was here, where he was, then  _ who  _ was he with? Yixing takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down, and he’s careful as he touches the cracked screen. 

Junmyeon has a simple four digit passcode, and he tries everything that he can think of.

Junmyeon’s birth date and month.

His anniversary with Seojun.

Junmyeon’s birth year.

His old apartment number. 

His favorite idol is Taemin, so he tries his birth date and year, but  _ nothing _ .

Yixing sighs heavily, knowing that he only had one more chance, so he goes out on a limb. He punches in the code for his own home, and he’s surprised when the phone unlocks. He has to squeeze his eyes shut when he feels the backs of his sting, knowing that he can’t let his emotions get in the way— not right now. The screen switches from the default iPhone wallpaper to a picture of himself with Junmyeon when they were in Paris. It had been from their impromptu picnic, Junmyeon’s grin wide and holding up a signature v-sign as he leaned his head on Yixing’s shoulder.

He would do  _ anything  _ to see that smile again.

It’s a long shot, but he searches through Junmyeon’s phone for any idea of where he could potentially be. His photos give up nothing, and his recent outgoing calls are to the people that he works with. When he gets to his messages, Yixing scrolls down until he finds Seojun’s name. He doesn’t read deeply into them, but they’re short and mostly blue bubbles; Yixing crosses his fingers that Seojun’s location is on.

It takes a while to load, and Yixing can feel himself becoming more antsy as the seconds tick by. Eventually, he’s able to get his location. Yixing doesn’t know if Junmyeon is with him or not, but sends himself the address as well as a contact in his phone. He’s peeling away from the sidewalk as the phone rings, and he’s sure that other drivers are pissed with the way that he cuts them off, especially with the flurry of horns honking behind him.

His phone rings from the car’s speakers, and he quickly accepts the call. “Did you get the address I sent you? I need you to meet me there,  _ now _ !”

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon’s head is throbbing as he sits in the car. Seojun has been driving erratically, voice changing in tone and pitch as he continuously berates Junmyeon. He finds fault in everything about him, and even gets angry with Junmyeon because  _ his  _ mouth had bled. He has never gotten car sick before, but Seojun even gets upset when Junmyeon needs to throw up. The rain continues to drench Seoul as he’s dragged up from his knees, and he stumbles into Seojun’s arm. His queasy stomach clenches as the other keeps him up with an arm around his waist, and he nearly trips on multiple occasions as he’s unwillingly tugged up the stairs.

“Seojun-ah, please, just let me go.”

Junmyeon attempts to shove his arm off of him, but Seojuns grips tighter and digs his nails into the exposed flesh of Junmyeon’s abdomen. Junmyeon stops his struggling, whimpering in pain, and Seojun pulls him close enough to talk directly into his ear.

“You said you’d do whatever I wanted, baby. Are you backing out?”

He whimpers again and looks up at him as best he can through the thick rain. He shakes his head.

“That’s what I thought.”

Junmyeon tries to hide his grimace when Seojun kisses his forehead, and he follows the man to wherever they’re going. They climb the stairs for a few minutes more before Seojun redirects them to a gate and pushes it open. Junmyeon’s footsteps slow as he takes in the house in front of him. It’s large and a few of the lights are on, but Junmyeon is wondering who’s house this is. He doesn’t make the effort to ask, though, instead letting himself be pushed ahead of Seojun. He shivers from the rain as Seojun forces a key into the lock, and Junmyeon looks around to see if he could make a run for it, but he doesn’t know what would happen if he tried.

He enters the house following Seojun, feet shuffling against the floor. He doesn’t think the heat is on with the way that a chill washes over him immediately, but he still takes off his shoes, leaving them near the door. The house’s interior is new and modern in comparison to the outside, and he remains near the front door despite the puddle of water forming at his feet. He has no idea whose house this is. The impeccably clean home is scaring him even more the longer that he stands in it, and he wants to run away screaming.

He has never seen Seojun like this before, and he was afraid that if he said or did the wrong thing then he was going to be hurt even more.

“Yah, go sit down!”

Junmyeon quickly pads across the floor to the living room, but he sets himself on the floor and wraps his arms around his knees. The living room is so unwelcoming, with everything having a place and seemingly untouched. He doesn’t know what’s to come next or what Seojun is planning, but he’s growing increasingly unsettled, especially with the way that the wall clock ticks ominously.

“S-Seojun,” he speaks when the man enters the living room. “What are we doing here? Is this your house?”

“Oh, baby,” Junmyeon inwardly grimaces at the pet name. “This is  _ our  _ house. I bought it for us since we’re going to get married.”

Junmyeon clenches his teeth. “We’re  _ not  _ getting married anymore.”

Such a simple statement earns him a backhanded slap, and then another in rapid succession, which causes him to close his composure. The diamonds on Seojun’s ring leaves a superficial cut across his cheek. He falls over, eyes spilling over with tears as an ugly sob spills out of his mouth. He knew better than to say that, but he needed Seojun to get it through his thick skull that he didn't want to marry him. Seojun raises his hand again, and this time Junmyeon flinches, legs curling in and hands raising in an attempt to shield himself if he were to be hit again.

“We’re getting married whether you want to or not, you understand?” 

Junmyeon remains hidden behind his hands. “W-Why do you want to marry me so much?”

“For many reasons,” Seojun strokes his hair. “Mostly, you can’t testify against me. It’d be a  _ shame  _ if Yixing couldn’t use you to his advantage.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Spousal privilege, baby. When we get married, all you’d have to do is refuse to testify against me and that’s the end of that. I can put you fucking him behind me so long as you agree to do that, alright? If you don’t… well then, it won’t be pretty. Understand?”

Junmyeon swallows and nods weakly. His left hand is gripped roughly, as though Seojun had been waiting for him to agree, and he feels his ring being slipped back into place. The weight is suddenly on his shoulders again, more tearing spilling down his cheeks as he wants nothing more than to be away from him. Seojun leaves him alone again, and he pushes himself into the nearest corner and hugs his legs close to his chest.

All he wants right now is Yixing. 

He’s never been so terrified in his life, especially not knowing what Seojun is doing when he disappears into another part of the home. In any other instance, Junmyeon would have been touched that his significant other purchased a home for them to start their life as a married couple. Now, though? He doesn’t want to step foot into another house. He would have loved the idea of hosting dinner parties in the backyard and to decorate the house for the holidays, but it’s a shell. It’s a shell of what could be and what may happen, but Junmyeon doesn’t want this anymore. 

He wants Yixing to wrap him up in his arms.

He wants Yixing to cover him in kisses and tell him that it’s going to be okay.

He doesn’t have his phone, though. There’s no way for him to hear his voice one last time, and there’s no way of knowing if he’s ever going to see Yixing’s face again. Even though he’s wearing his clothes right now, they’re so soaked from the rain that his scent is no longer there to comfort him. His cheeks sting as he grips the sleeves of the sweater, curling his fingers into the fabric in a feeble attempt to ground himself. His chest hurts as he keeps his sobs quiet, not wanting to face Seojun again. It’s clear that anything will set him off, and he’s afraid that the next time won’t be as minor as what he’s experienced thus far. He shrinks further into himself when he feels Seojun looming over him, and the man tsks gently.

“Baby, you want  _ him _ , don’t you? You want him to burst in here like some knight in shining armor, hmm?” He roughly grips the hair on the back of Junmyeon’s head and pulls his head up to look him in the eyes. “Sadly, baby. If I can’t have you, then neither can he.”

A glimmer catches Junmyeon’s eye when Seojun raises his hand, and Junmyeon could only imagine what Seojun has planned. Junmyeon thinks quickly, throwing his body weight forward as hard as he can to knock the other man off balance. The grip on his hair loosens, and despite his best efforts, the knife stabs into his sweater and about two centimeters into his shoulder. He cries out, but he knows that if he doesn’t move now, then he’s trapped for good.

He shoves himself away from Seojun despite the pain in his shoulders, and attempts to run to the front door, but somehow Seojun is faster. He makes quick work of a detour, but he has no idea where he’s going. Junmyeon’s maneuver isn’t fast enough though, and the knife manages to knick his other arm right above the elbow when Seojun swings it wildly. Junmyeon grabs whatever he can (in this case, a couple of vases) throwing it behind him in hopes that it would stop Seojun from chasing him. He makes it into the kitchen, and he runs around the island a few times, stopping when he needs to catch his breath.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Junmyeon sees how much his shoulder is bleeding onto the light colored sweater. “Why are you doing this!?”

“I love you, Junmyeon-ah. No matter where you go, where you try to run to, or who you think you love, just know that you’re mine!”   
  


Junmyeon yelps when Seojun lunges at him, and he makes quick work of running towards the stairs as best he can in slippery socks. He slams into the hallway wall from too much momentum, and Seojun manages to slice the knife into his thigh. Junmyeon sucks his teeth from the pain and he can’t dwell on it for too long, and manages to kick Seojun in the shoulder, which makes him stumble back down the stairs. He can’t relish in his triumph for long as he knows that he needs to get away and get away  _ fast _ .

He manages to throw himself into one of the first rooms he comes across, slamming the door and locking it. It’s then that he looks down at the wound of his leg, a proper cut that may need stitches. The cuts and wounds on his body sting with discomfort, but he can’t let that take away from his focus. Junmyeon makes his way to the window, afraid that Seojun had a key to the room. With the way that his adrenaline is pumping, he’s unable to figure out how to unlock it, but he tries to make quiet movements. A silent cry falls from his lips when Seojun calls out to him. 

“Junmyeon-ah, baby, come on out! I’m sorry, okay? I promise I’m not going to hurt you, but you need to come out.” Junmyeon hears something clatter onto the carpeted floor, but he knows better than to believe that gesture. “I’ve gotten rid of the knife, alright? We can… we can forget all about this if you come out and we talk.”

Junmyeon manages to unlatch the window, and when he pushes it open, a heavy gust of wind blows into the room bringing in some of the heavy rainfall. Junmyeon can’t see past his hand, but he knows that this is the only way an escape is guaranteed. He pulls himself up onto the windowsill, holding on to the window, but a loose piece of roofing snaps free underneath his weight. He doesn’t realize that he’s started crying again from the fear, but he knows that he needs to take the plunge.

He has no other choice. 

“You’re not getting away from me!”

He hears Seojun banging on the door and then his fleeting footsteps, and he knows that he’ll be downstairs in no time, so Junmyeon lets go of the windowsill. His body slides unceremoniously thanks to the rain, and by some grace of something above, he rolls off of the roof without hurting himself too much. He does land on his wounded shoulder though, and he rolls for a second in pain. It wasn’t a far drop off, but he knows he’ll be feeling it in the morning.

“Junmyeon!”

He quickly pushes himself up after snatching off his socks, and despite his body protesting, he takes off running. Junmyeon doesn’t know where he’s headed or what he’s looking for, but he wishes that he grabbed the car keys to make a quicker getaway. He doesn’t dare look back. The last thing he wants is to trip— he’s already running in weighted down clothes and in the middle of a thunderstorm, so he doesn’t want to trip and end up in Seojun’s possession again. If he thought his last cold was bad, then this one would be far worse.

He nearly slips down the steps as he runs in the direction towards the car, and he prays that if he keeps going, then he’ll be on the main road. Junmyeon whimpers when his ankle gives, and he nearly drops to his knees at the feeling which shoots up his leg. He doesn’t stop, running with a limp until his ankle returns to normal, but he doesn’t get very far until his body is crashing into another.

“No, no! Get away from me!”   
  


Junmyeon hits the person, not caring where his hands landed. He doesn’t know if they’re talking to him or not, but he can’t stop. He  _ has  _ to keep running. 

“Junmyeon-ah, it’s  _ me _ ! It’s Yixing!”

His fighting stops, the words breaking him out of his tunnel vision, and it’s then that he realizes the blue lights flickering not too far in the distance. Junmyeon visibly shakes, face soaked from the rain and his own tears, and his eyes finally concentrate on the fact that it’s  _ actually  _ Yixing standing in front of him and not a hallucination. Junmyeon’s knees grow weak but Yixing catches him, instantly throwing his arms around Junmyeon’s waist to pull him close. He buries his face into the side of Yixing’s neck, and they’re soon covered with an umbrella.

“Yixing, he had a knife and I thought I was never going to see you again,” he sobs. “Please don’t let him get me. Don’t let him hurt me,  _ please _ .”

“It’s okay, I’m here. I won’t let him hurt you.”

  
  
  
  


A few hours pass, and Junmyeon is settled in a guarded hospital room with Yixing by his side. He managed to get in a shower and have his wounds bandaged— he could barely look at himself in the small mirror in the bathroom, knowing that his cheek is covered by a small steri strip. He lays on side in the bed, not wanting to put any pressure on his wounded shoulder. Yixing holds his hand as they talk quietly.

He can tell that Yixing is attempting to keep his mind from wandering back to his ordeal, but it’s looming in the back of his head, so Yixing’s attempts aren’t really working. He’s appreciative of the effort, though. The feeling of Yixing stroking his fingers through his hair is comforting, but he jumps every time he hears doors opening and closing with force.

A soft knock interrupts Yixing from telling him a silly story that makes him chuckle a few times, and in walks a plain clothes officer, which Junmyeon could only assume is a detective of some kind. His badge is hanging around his neck. Yixing seems to know the man with the way that they greet each other informally, and Junmyeon sits up slowly.

“Junmyeon-ah, this is my good friend Lieutenant Oh Sehun. He’ll be the one investigating what happened tonight with Seojun.”

Junmyeon greets the man politely with a bow, and motions for Sehun to take a seat. It’s clear that he has something important to discuss with them.

“I hate to be the one to say this, but Seojun got away. He must have seen the cars before you did and took off in the opposite direction. I know that you’re scared and quite possibly in shock, but we’ll do everything that we can to make sure he can’t get to you, alright?”

Junmyeon nods. “Was that house… was it really his?”

“From what it appears, yes. I’m not sure of where he bought it, but it’s his home. We’re still treating it as a crime scene, so we don’t think he'll come back any time soon. Once we figure out more, we’ll let you know,” Sehun pauses. “I know that this is hard for you, but you want to press charges, correct?”

He feels Yixing touch his leg comfortably, and when tears well up in his eyes he knows just how fucked this entire situation is. He nods his head. “W-What should I do while he’s still out there? He knows where I work, and I’m sure he can find out where I’m staying. He already threatened Yixing and they stay in the same apartment building—”

“Yah,  _ yah _ ,” Yixing soothes him. “I was able to talk with Irene, and you’re taking some time off, okay? We’re going to go away for a while, and I promise that he won’t be able to find you.”

Junmyeon is still nervous, but he nods anyway. Yixing departs with Sehun after pressing a gentle kiss against his temple, and Junmyeon draws his legs up to his chest. Rain is still blanketing the city, and he’s terrified that Seojun could get to him again. He’s afraid that Seojun would somehow be able to get past all of the police officers and nurses just to finish what he’s already started. He can see Yixing speaking softly with Sehun right outside of his door, and he wants nothing more than to disappear with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a rollercoaster or WHAT, my friends?? And we're still not finished yet 🤫. 
> 
> A double update because I was feeling super motivated, and I hope you guys liked the inclusion of Yixing's POV at the beginning! 
> 
> AND 1000 HITS KNISFDBSIFDUBSFDSFDS there's no way that I could thank everyone enough for reading my lil ol' fic, and I really appreciate all that you guys do! Thanks so much for the kudos and comments as well, those truly inspire me with writing the next chapters.
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter & ask me questions of CC @jcnnierubies.
> 
> EDIT: i'm literally running on like 27 hrs of no sleep and originally had Jongin as the lieutenant when it was supposed to be SEHUN i can't believe myself it's time for bed KNFDJBSFDS
> 
> Until the next chapter! 🤎


	18. seventeen

Junmyeon was looking forward to getting out of Seoul for a few days, but he didn’t think that Yixing was able to plan so much in a little more than twenty-four hours. He was able to get discharged from the hospital a little earlier than he was expecting, but he was happy to be out of the hospital. The sterile environment and sitting in one place made him feel sick to his stomach, so he was happy when Yixing showed up with a change of clothes. He was perfectly content with Yixing keeping their destination a secret until they arrived at the airport, when Junmyeon realized that they were going to Shanghai. He had been expecting a little trip to Jeju or even to a hotel in Itaewon, so he pouted for the most part of their flight telling Yixing that he spent way too much money.

He was promptly shut up when Yixing kissed him and stuck a piece of beef short rib in his mouth.

When they arrived at their rented villa, Junmyeon was blown away by the contemporary style and beautifully decorated space. He’s especially stunned by the master bedroom, and his jaw drops to the floor. Three walls of the bedroom are made up entirely of floor to ceiling windows, and even the ceiling is a window, showing off a gorgeous sunset. A white free-standing tub is settled across from the front of the king sized bed, and it was something that Junmyeon had never seen before.

The windows give a gorgeous view mostly of a small bunch of trees and the surrounding area around the villa, but Junmyeon is stunned by the beauty.

He stretches his arms over his head as he finally wakes up, the clock ticking closer to the afternoon. He and Yixing made a short pit stop at his rental to get some clothes, and they were immediately on the plane right after. They were both beyond exhausted once they finally got themselves settled. Yixing ordered food for them, and they both crashed as soon as they were finished. 

Junmyeon relishes in the quiet for a little while, birds chirping and a few cars driving down the short street. His body aches just as bad as he thought it would and his cuts sting painfully when he needs to clean them, but Junmyeon knows his ordeal isn’t something that will be solved within a few days at a hospital. They’re only spending three days in Shanghai, and he knows that once he returns home then he’ll have to face reality all over again. He’s  _ terrified _ to return home, though.

The last thing that he wants is for Seojun to show up at his work again or figure out that Yixing lives above him. It makes his stomach tighten at the thought of Seojun hurting Yixing because of him.

He scoots back in search of the warm body behind him, and his back presses gently against Yixing’s chest. An arm drapes over his waist, and Junmyeon rolls over to burrow himself in closer. The older man was always so prim and proper, hair slicked back and dressed impeccably. Junmyeon preferred him like this: his jet black hair hung down below his eyes, the ends resting at his cheekbones and mussed from sleep. His cheeks are a bit flushed and puffy, and his usual stoic expression is replaced with a soft demeanor.

“Are you watching me sleep?” Yixing’s rough voice cuts the silence. 

Junmyeon smiles. “No, I was admiring you.”

“Why, do you think I’m handsome?”

“I think you’re pretty.”

“What’s the difference?” Yixing tightens the arm around his waist, pulling Junmyeon closer against him. “Aren’t they both a compliment?” His face is soon covered with gentle kisses.

Junmyeon has to calm down his giggling. “Of course!” He tilts his chin up and gently touches Yixing’s hair. “I like your hair like this. You should wear it like this more often.”

A soft smile spreads on Yixing’s tired features, and he gently cups Junmyeon’s cheek for a gentle kiss. Junmyeon knew that Yixing was tired after searching for him and staying up with him— he had to repeatedly tell him to sleep while in the hospital, and even then, Yixing’s sleep had been fitful. It’s a gentle kiss, more of their lips simply pressing together if anything, but Junmyeon slides himself up to return the kiss at a better angle.

Yixing brushes his thumb tenderly against Junmyeon’s cheek, just below the small cut, and he can see the concern in the man’s eyes. Junmyeon’s lips were still a little swollen, both from sleep and the punch from Seojun, skin littered with bruises. It took hushed words from Yixing to calm him down when the concealer he tried before the flight didn’t cover up the marks. “Are you okay?” Yixing asks softly.

Junmyeon nods. “I’m a little sore, but I’ll be okay.”

Yixing appears as though he wants to say more, but Junmyeon kisses him.

“I’m alright, promise.”

  
  
  
  


The two get out of bed once they’ve gotten enough kisses from one another, and decide to head into the city for a little exploring. They stopped for breakfast at the Starbucks Reserve Roastery for breakfast, munching on a cinnamon roll, avocado toast with salmon, and a mixed fruit salad while chatting about any and everything that comes to mind. Junmyeon was happy that he was able to cover up the mark on his face without getting frustrated, and although it wasn’t Yixing that he was worried about, he was more worried about other people looking at him.

After breakfast, they spent a few hours sightseeing and took a few pictures. Junmyeon knows better than to upload them to his social media, but he does finally text his friends back to let them know that he’s alright and relaxing well.

He has yet to tell them about his “relationship” with Yixing, and he was worried that they weren’t going to take the news well. In truth, they were only seeing each other casually. Although Junmyeon has caught feelings since they started seeing each other, he hadn’t admitted them to anyone but himself. As much as he hates to admit it, he’s afraid of starting a new relationship with someone, even if that person it’s Yixing. He’s afraid that someone would only treat him the way that Seojun did, and that it’d be a vicious cycle of never getting the love he believes he deserves. 

Junmyeon hated that he felt this way, though. He didn’t want to believe that everyone he may encounter in his love life is out to hurt him. The last thing he wanted to do was bring them in close only to push them away when he thinks the relationship will sour. Even though he tries to pretend like he isn’t, Junmyeon is a romantic, and he likes being in a relationship, but he doesn’t want his heart broken like this again.

He doesn’t want his trust to be broken.

Junmyeon pulls himself out of his thoughts and realizes that he had fallen behind Yixing, and takes quick strides to catch up. He slides his hand into Yixing’s just as they dip into the Louis Vuitton flagship store.

The store’s interior instantly bathes him in a soft orange glow. There are accents of yellow, brown, and the distinguishable Louis Vuitton orange placed around the store. Handbags are displayed on shelves with lighting that shows off the superior craftsmanship, while other accessories are placed in glass boxes with bright lights meant to draw in new customers looking to spend a pretty penny.

He immediately feels out of place with the people who clearly look as though they belong in such a store. A woman talking to a sales associate is wearing a pair of sunglasses that nearly hide the entire upper half of her face, and there’s a Chanel bag settled in the crook of her arm. A couple are chatting with one another in the far left corner, and she’s trying on shoes while getting her counterpart’s opinion. Junmyeon wonders how much he’d have to save for even  _ look  _ at the shoes displayed on the walls.

“Yixing,” he speaks softly. 

He hadn’t realized that Yixing was no longer standing next to him, now looking at a pair of crisp white sneakers with the iconic monogram on the collar and tongue on the shoe. His face feels hot.

“I can’t afford anything here,” he mumbles, irrationally afraid that he’ll get kicked out if someone overheard. “Are you looking for something?”

The older man shrugs. “Not in particular. Tell me, do you like anything?”

Junmyeon’s face flames as he moves to take a look at the expensive items. It’s almost intimidating looking at the luxurious pieces, and he’s not even sure of where to start. He walks back and forth, taking in everything at least twice while Yixing trails behind him without saying a word. Finally, Junmyeon sees something he likes.

“This one,” he says.

Yixing steps forward to see what Junmyeon has pointed out, and a grin spreads across his features before he spills into a gentle laugh. Junmyeon is positive that what he’s chosen couldn’t be  _ that  _ expensive. It’s a tiny key charm that looks like a much smaller version of a suitcase, and Junmyeon likes how cute it is. Besides, it had been a long time since he had gotten a new wallet, so he figured that there was no harm in this one.

A pretty sales associate with long black hair slicked back into a high ponytail and long legs takes what they plan on purchasing to the register until they’re ready to checkout. The two continue with their shopping, and Junmyeon shoots down every offer of Yixing buying something else for him considering that the keychain is already enough. This doesn’t stop Yixing from passing items off to the sales associate behind his back.

Despite his best efforts, Junmyeon finds himself in the dressing room wearing a pair of slim fit cigarette pants that tapered off right at his ankle, a white tee shirt that he’s sure would never wrinkle, and a navy blue monogram bomber jacket. He must admit that he looks good.

He steps out of the dressing room.

“How do you feel?” Yixing asks.

“Like I’m wearing someone’s tuition,” Junmyeon twists as he looks at himself in the mirror. “You shop here all the time?”

“Mm, it’s not that expensive.”

“Yah, that’s something that a rich person would say!”

Yixing chuckles and moves to stand behind Junmyeon. He sets his hands on his waist, moving him a bit while taking a look for himself. It feels a little weird being under the watchful eye of someone who is wearing expensive clothing all the time, but Junmyeon won’t lie. He likes the way that he looks a little more elevated, as his usual uniform was a pair of his favorite ankle jeans and a sweater from his endless collection.

He’s pulled from his thoughts when he feels Yixing’s lips against his neck. “Stop,” he says with a playful whine. “Someone might see.”

“Fine.”

Junmyeon yelps when Yixing pulls him away from the mirror, and nearly shoves him into the dressing room. He barely has any time to register what’s going on let alone form a question, but it’s all answered once Yixing is pressing their lips together. A pleased hum falls from Junmyeon’s lips as he moves up onto his toes, but he nearly slips thanks to a perfectly polished floor and his socks.

He’s walking backwards soon enough, and feels his back press against a wall in the dressing room. Junmyeon’s hands loosen their grip on the front of Yixing’s shirt before sliding to rest at the waist of his pants. He gives them a gentle tug to pull the older man closer, and he feels himself getting lost further and further into their kiss. 

Soon, his breath hitches in his throat when he feels Yixing’s hands slide under his shirt, and short sparks shoot up his spine as his cold fingertips move across his skin. Yixing gently pushes the expensive jacket from his shoulders, tossing it onto the small orange armchair in the corner of the room.

“We’re going to do this here?” Junmyeon asks in a harsh whisper.

His eyes nearly fall out of head as Yixing sinks down in front of him, and Junmyeon feels his cheeks burning. He can hear other people using the other dressing rooms, and he’s never been intimate with someone in public before. He’s sure that this would do nothing more than get them banned from the store.

“I would like to suck you off in public, yes.”

“You’re so vulgar,” Junmyeon hisses when he feels Yixing kiss a thin strip of skin that’s exposed. “It’s really hot.”

Yixing chuckles and continues to slowly push up his shirt, and Junmyeon instantly snaps out of his trance. Although Yixing’s eyes are closed, Junmyeon begins to see the edge of the bruises that litter his sides and upper chest thanks to his fall while trying to escape Seojun. They’re even on his hips and thighs, which explains why he hasn’t worn anything other than long sleeve clothing and pants— he has the overwhelming fear that Yixing would find them disgusting.

“Wait, wait.” He pushes Yixing’s hands off, and immediately tugs down his shirt. “I’m not… I’m not feeling too well.”

“Yah, Junmyeon-ah, “he can tell that Yixing’s tone is teasing. “Are you playing hard to get?”

He continues to pull on the hem of the shirt, and Yixing stands up as he keeps his attention down on the floor. His head shakes in response to Yixing’s question, and he feels like such an idiot. If there’s one thing Junmyeon likes, it’s sex with Yixing. He enjoys the intensity and the intimacy, and he especially enjoys the post-coital bliss where he could drape himself on Yixing’s chest and convince the man to buy him chicken.

Now, though, Junmyeon feels  _ ugly _ .

Yixing was a man who liked to praise, and he was a man who liked to touch. He likes to leave kisses all over Junmyeon’s body, anywhere that his lips could touch, and Junmyeon enjoyed every moment of it. He feels tears welling up in his eyes as he feels his anxiety rising, and it appears that Yixing has caught on.

“Hey, Junmyeon-ah,” he says softly as he touches the younger man’s cheek. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Get changed, we can head back to the villa.”

Junmyeon opens his mouth to apologize, but Yixing slips out of the dressing room before he gets the chance to. He feels bad for making Yixing feel rejected and as if he made him uncomfortable, but he’ll attempt to tell him once the moment has cooled. He neatly places the clothes in a pile before handing them off to Yixing, and he hears the man’s sneakers fade away as he can assume that he’d headed towards the register.

He quickly changes back into his own clothes, and hurries to catch up. It’s awkward when he returns to Yixing’s side, but he tries to play it off by giving the curious associate a reassuring grin. If anything, he was attempting to reassure himself.

Junmyeon nearly chokes when Yixing spends twenty-five thousand yuan on the items, and he may not be that good at math but he knows his bank account would be crying had he made a purchase like that. The drive back to the villa is silent and tense as Junmyeon doesn’t know how to apologize. He didn’t mean to reject Yixing like that, but he didn’t know how to explain his sudden feelings either. It’s a short drive, so once they’re back in the driveway of the villa, and Junmyeon has the courage to speak again, Yixing is out of the car before he can open his mouth.

He remains stunned in his seat as he watches the older man grab the bags from their shopping trip and haul ass towards the house, and it makes his stomach tighten. There was no way that he was  _ angry  _ with him, right? Junmyeon slowly unbuckles his seatbelt, gets out of the car, and goes into the villa. The bags have been placed near the front door, and Junmyeon toes off his shoes before going any further.

He finds Yixing standing in the kitchen.

“Yixing,” he says softly. “Can we talk?”

The man blinks a few times. “Of course.”

Junmyeon goes to sit at the dining table, and Yixing soon joins him with two glasses of water. He gently wraps his hands around his own glass in order to ground himself, and feels his heart settle in his heart settle in his stomach. He knew that hard talks were bound to happen— their relationship wasn’t always going to be perfect, but Junmyeon wanted to talk things through instead of constantly bottling everything up inside. He had done enough of that. He’s seeking all of the things he’s been craving, and he worries that he’s asking for too much. He doesn’t know where the sudden insecurity is coming from, but he has to let it out.

“This morning, you asked me if I was okay,” he speaks softly. “I said that I was fine because I want to enjoy my time here with you, and I didn’t want to worry you. You’ve been worried about me enough these last couple of days and I didn’t want to do that again, so I lied. M-Maybe I was lying to myself, but I—”

“Junmyeon-ah,” Yixing interjects. “Take a breath.”

He chuckles softly and distracts himself when Yixing takes his hand across the table.

“I’m not okay. I’m… I don’t know what I am, but I’m  _ terrified _ , Yixing. I’m afraid that he’ll come back and finish what he’s started and I’m especially afraid that he’ll do something to you. I didn’t mean to push you away earlier at the store, but I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel so ugly because of the cuts and the bruises, and I didn’t want you to see because I thought you were going to be disgusted…”

“Yah,  _ yah _ .”

Junmyeon doesn’t notice the tears that have begun to pool in his eyes until he looks up from their hands, and a heavy droplet slides down his cheek. He was afraid that Yixing would see him as damaged goods, and that he had only brought him on this vacation out of pity, but once they returned to Seoul then he’d turn him loose. He had no reason to think this way as Yixing was risking everything looking for him that night, but he was still afraid of the possibilities.

Yixing closes the space between them and brushes a gentle thumb against the back of his hand, and Junmyeon is nervous to look into his eyes. He’s waiting for Yixing to say something, to say  _ anything _ , and the fear was eating him up.

“Junmyeon-ah, if I found you having bruises to be disgusting, then that’s a reflection of my character. If anything, I’m pissed off at him for doing this to you. For making you feel unsafe and anything less than confident. I may be an asshole, but I’m not that much of an asshole to where I would be upset with you,” Yixing chuckles softly to break the tension. “You went through something traumatic, and something that you never would have expected. Seojun was wrong to do that to you, and he was wrong to make you feel as though someone wouldn’t be attracted to you whether it be physical or mental scars.”

Junmyeon sniffles softly, and uses his free hand to scrub against his cheeks to rid himself of the tears. “I don’t want to feel this way forever,” he says. “I just… I got scared and I didn’t know what to do other than push you away. I’m sorry.”

Yixing stands but doesn’t release Junmyeon’s hand, pulling him up to stand with him. The older man doesn’t say anything as he cleans off the tears that collected at his jawline. He presses a gentle kiss against his lips. “You have  _ nothing  _ to apologize for,” he mumbles. “You’ll always be as attractive as you were on the first night I met you.”

“Stop it,” Junmyeon whines. “You’re just saying that because I’m sad.”

“It got you to smile, though, didn’t it?”

Junmyeon smiles gently as he pushes himself up onto his toes, pressing his lips against Yixing’s. He feels himself melt against the taller man’s chest, fingers gently curling into his shirt as Yixing presses his closer. Yixing’s scent is strong, overwhelming Junmyeon until he’s mesmerized by his cologne and the way that Yixing nips at his lower lips. Junmyeon welcomes in his tongue without a second though, and their tongues slide together as if never wanting to forget how the other tastes.

One of his hands releases the fabric of Yixing’s shirt, and slides down to the front of his jeans. It takes Yixing by surprise, who jolts slightly, but doesn’t pull away. Junmyeon makes quick work of the button and zipper, shoving his hand down Yixing’s pants, but still remaining a tease as he gives Yixing’s cock a squeeze through his boxers.

“You little tease,” Yixing breathes out.

Junmyeon has no time to respond before Yixing is moving, and he feels himself bump into the table. It shakes at the impact, the glasses nearly spilling over, and a moan falls from his lips. He continues with his gentle teasing, never one pulling his hands away as he loses himself in another kiss. He’s sure that his lips will be swollen before the night is over, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Yixing grips Junmyeon’s hip, taking advantage of their height difference to shove a leg between Junmyeon’s. The younger man groans, but it’s barely audible as Yixing traps him in another bruising kiss.

They remain like that, teasing one another through skilled finger movements and the slow drag of Yixing’s leg, but Junmyeon doesn’t want to stop here. He gently presses his hands against Yixing’s chest to push him away, but it’s not enough to put even an inch of space between them.

“T-Take me,” his voice falters into a moan when Yixing shifts his leg.

“Hmm? That’s what, baby?”

If his brain hadn’t been so fogged, he would have pinched him. “Take me upstairs, please.”

Yixing says nothing more, and instead leans down to wrap his arms around Junmyeon’s legs. A short shriek falls from his lips as he’s hauled over Yixing’s shoulder, and the older is soon heading off upstairs. Junmyeon has no other option than to dangle like a rag doll as he’s taken up the two flights of stairs to their bedroom, and he’s soon dumped onto the plush sheets.

“That wasn’t sexy,” Junmyeon chides playfully.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s what your mouth says.” 

He doesn’t get the chance to protest as Yixing is all over him then, hands grabbing at his waist as he occupies him with a kiss. His hands slide up into Yixing’s hair, messing up the perfectly tousled locks as Yixing rolls them over. The older man sits up, and gently pushes Junmyeon until he’s standing between his legs. Yixing legs are wide and inviting, and Junmyeon suddenly feels shy with the way that the man is looking at him with lust filled hues. 

“Strip.”

Junmyeon digs his feels down into the floor at the one word command, and all of the blood in his body seems to shoot straight down into his pants. His hands slowly reach down to unbutton his trousers, working at them with a slowed pace. He likes the feeling of Yixing’s eyes on him, and he would do  _ anything _ to keep them there. Junmyeon pushes at his trousers, and the light material drops down to his feet in one fluid motion before he’s kicking them off to the side. 

He gently grips the hem of his shirt, and despite the nervousness lingering in the pit of his stomach, Junmyeon pulls the material over his head. The cool air of the bedroom causes goosebumps to arise on his pale skin, and he waits.

He waits for the sound of disgust or the sound of Yixing leaving the bedroom. 

Instead, he’s greeted by the feeling of Yixing’s slightly calloused hands on his hips to gently tug him forward, and Yixing is pressing kisses against his skin. His skin where the bruises are is still a little tender, so he jolts a bit, but when Yixing looks up at him with concern he’s able to nod that he’s okay and truly mean it this time. He leans down to capture Yixing’s lips in a kiss once more, and he’s soon helping the older man out of his clothes.

A shirt is tossed this way and a pair of pants are tossed in another, while Junmyeon whimpers when he feels Yixing’s warm hands sliding between the fabric of his boxer and skin. It soon joins the rest of the clothes on the floor, and he climbs into Yixing’s lap. 

He doesn’t know when and he doesn’t know where Yixing got a bottle of lube from, but he doesn’t feel like asking, While his own hands are busy working Yixing’s cock to full hardness, he feels Yixing’s fingers gently probe at his hole. He squeaks, but Yixing manages to swallow it down with a kiss. Their soft moans fill up the space of the bedroom as they work at one another, and Junmyeon moans into Yixing’s mouth as he adds another finger, and then a third.

The sound coming from Yixing finger fucking his ass are completely obscene, and when he unintentionally presses his thumb against the bright red head of Yixing’s cock, it earns him a bite to the lip. Junmyeon yelps and Yixing apologizes quietly while continuing to suck on his lip.

Yixing withdraws his fingers from Junmyeon, and he gives Yixing’s cock a couple more strokes before he’s moving up onto his knees. He sinks down slowly, moans leaving both of them until he’s settled on Yixing’s lap again.

Junmyeon’s moans are nothing short of pornographic, turned on more by the possibility that someone could see them from the massive windows in the bedroom. He works his hips at a steady pace, rolling up and shifting back down as Yixing’s hands never leave his hips. They’re so close that Junmyeon can feel Yixing’s sporadic breathing against his chest, and his moans grow louder when the older man slaps his ass and grips at the supple skin.

“Oh fuck,” Junmyeon whines. “Your cock feels so good.” 

With that, Yixing begins to shift his hips in an effort to meet Junmyeon’s movements, and it causes Junmyeon’s head to drop down into the crook of his neck. Yixing sucks and bites against his neck, and brings Junmyeon closer as he picks up speed. The younger man bounces on Yixing’s cock as if it’s the last time that the two will have sex, and he feels tears prick at the corner of his eyes when Yixing wraps a hand around his cock.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous,” he grunts. “All fucked out and spread open.”

“Yixing,  _ please _ .”

He feels Yixing’s hand slide into his hair at the back of his knees, fingers gripping the hair while bringing him down for a kiss. Their teeth knock against each other from their movements, and he does his best to keep up, but he’s faltering. 

Suddenly, though, Yixing stops.

“Wh—”

His protest is captured in his throat when Yixing pulls out of him, and he whimpers at the cool air. “Turn around.”

Junmyeon stands on jellied legs but does as instructed, turning around as Yixing shifts back a bit onto the bed. With Yixing’s help, he moves back until he’s sinking down on Yixing’s cock again and his back is flush against his. A loud moan falls from his lips as his feet push down into the mattress, searching for some place to purchase. Yixing picks up his thrusts from where he left off, biting gently at the side of Junmyeon’s neck. Junmyeon can do nothing more than take it, his body becoming more limp as the time passes.

“Spread your legs wider,” Yixing whispers. 

Junmyeon shakes his head. “I can’t, I can’t.” 

Yixing’s hand wrapping around his cock once more makes staccatoed moans fall from his swollen lips, and he spreads his legs as directed. He’s sure that he’ll snap in half if Yixing continues with this pace, but he can’t form the words to protest— he doesn’t  _ want _ to. 

Junmyeon falls forward when he feels himself grow weak in the knees, but he catches himself on his hands. His fingers grip the sheets as Yixing continues to pound into his ass, but he brings himself back down to earth, and soon his hips as moving back to meet Yixing’s. He moves his hips in a circular motion all while Yixing’s hands are on his hips once more. Junmyeon is quite literally throwing his ass out for Yixing, and he feels his orgasm building.

“Y-Yixing,” he whimpers. “I’m gonna cum. P-Please  _ let me _ .” 

Yixing lets out a breathy groan as he slaps a hand against Yixing’s ass. “Fuck, come with me, baby.”

Junmyeon speeds up the movement of his hips as he chases after his orgasm, and the coil in the pit of his stomach  _ snaps _ , screams laced with heavy moans spilling from his lips. Yixing continues to fuck him through his orgasm, and gasps loudly when he has his own. Junmyeon moans at the feeling of being filled, and carefully leans back until he’s able to capture Yixing’s lips in a messy kiss. 

His come has collected on the sheets and on Yixing’s hand as his thighs shake, but he makes no effort to move. Instead, he occupies himself with kissing Yixing breathless, fingers curling into his hair as Yixing makes shallow thrusts, pumping his come further into Junmyeon.

“Yixing-ah,” he moans. 

“This is all mine,” he feels Yixing’s fingertips slide from where they’re connected to the tip of his cock. “ _ You’re _ all mine.”

“I’m yours. I’m all yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Long time no see!
> 
> This update is /much/ later than I planned due in part to midterm szn being upon me, so I wasn't able to focus on writing the chapter as much as I would have liked. Alas, I was able to get it done and I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> I have to hope back into completing homework as always, but I wanted to thank you guys for being patient for this update, and for reading as always! Thank you so much for your kudos, comments, and hits as they mean the world to me.
> 
> If you'd like, you can follow me on my Twitter & Curious Cat @jcnnierubies. 
> 
> Until the next update! 🤎


	19. eighteen

“Junmyeon-ah…”

He stirs, squeezing his eyes tighter.

The voice is distant, and he’s sure it has to do with him coming out of sleep. He decides to get a little playful, tugging the blankets over his head to burrow down further. A small, playful grin appears on his features as he feels the dip of the mattress around him, but he continues to pretend that he’s sleeping.

“Aw, babe. Are you hiding from me?”

A hand slides along the length of his legs, and he knows that he can’t pretend forever, so a short fit of giggles spills from his lips. A pair of legs soon straddle his waist, and Junmyeon keeps himself hidden. He makes a feeble attempt to keep the blankets tugged over his head, but the person on top curls their fingers around the edge of the blanket and pulls it down gently.

“Come on. I want to see your pretty face.”

Junmyeon chuckles. “Tell me I’m pretty again.”

“You’re the prettiest.”

He pulls down the blanket, and the cool air bathes over him. He barely has the chance to open his eyes before he’s being kissed, and he instantly melts. Junmyeon’s hands instantly move to the person’s waist, hands sliding underneath their shirt to feel the warm skin underneath. Junmyeon likes being woken up this way, considering the playful and teasing nature of it all.

A gentle moan falls from his lips as the other begins to trail kisses down to his neck while pushing the blanket further off of his body. His fingers slide into their hair and groans when fingers dig into his thighs.

A hand snakes around his neck, and although the feeling was foreign to him, he raised his chin to better accommodate. “Ah, Y-Yixing,” he moans softly at the pressure around his neck.

“You like that?”

He’s kissed just below his earlobe, and the hand begins to grip tighter. With each breath, he feels as though he can’t let anything in. HIs hands grip the shirt, and his fingers dig into their skin. “W-Wait, I can’t—”

Junmyeon’s hands push against their chest, and the hand slowly begins to crush his windpipe.

“Yixing… let… go…”

He begins to beat his hands against their chest, albeit weakly, and the blood in his head begins to make him feel like it might explode at any moment. He can barely get in breaths, and he’s growing weaker.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

Junmyeon’s eyes grow wide when the person above him leans back. His hair is much longer, brushing against his jawline and swinging in the air as he remains settled above Junmyeon. He has the manic look in his eyes like that night all over again, and Junmyeon attempts to kick in order to get away. His attempts are futile considering that he’s trapped underneath the man sitting right on his torso, and despite his hands squeezing around Seojun’s, the man doesn’t let go.

Instead, he places his other hand around his neck, and  _ tightens _ .

“Did you really think you were going to get away from me? That you could hide away as if I would never find you?” Junmyeon attempts to hit his hand against his face, but the deranged man only laughs if off. “Don’t you remember what I told you? You’re  _ mine _ , Junmyeon-ah. No one else can ever have you.”

“Seojun, please stop,” Junmyeon begs. “ _ Please _ .”

“Oh baby. It’s too late for begging.”

  
  


Junmyeon gasps as he wakes, hand immediately flying to his throat as his body shakes and he coughs. He doesn’t know when he managed to tuck himself closer into Yixing’s side, body curled while resting his head on the man’s shoulder. He sits up slowly, swallowing down some of the water on the bedside table as a few droplets of tears spill out of his eyes. This wasn’t the first time that Junmyeon had a nightmare since his encounter, but this was the first time where he actually encountered the monster. The nightmare felt entirely too real and it made Junmyeon feel sick. He drags his fingers through his hair, and turns slightly to see the time.

4:28am.

The room is still blanketed in darkness and the silence surrounding him is suffocating. The only other sound he hears is Yixing’s soft snoring, and he misses the warmth that the other provided. He pulls the blanket up onto his body a bit more in order to hide himself, resting his head on Yixing’s shoulder. Junmyeon holds his breath as Yixing rolls over, hoping that he hasn’t woken him up, but Yixing simply laces his arm around his waist and continues with his soft snoring. It’s far too early for either of them to be awake, especially considering that they’re meant to be relaxing, so Junmyeon squishes himself closer and slips into a sleep state once more.

  
  
  
  


If there was one thing Junmyeon hadn’t expected, it was meeting Yixing’s friends. He wasn’t sure of when or how they learned of where they were staying, but Junmyeon doesn’t mind. He was in desperate need of  _ anything  _ to take his mind off of his nightmare, and if that included meeting new people, then that’s what he’d take. Besides, Yixing has met all of his friends, so what could be the harm?

He helps Yixing set up the food on the back patio, and although it’s all mostly ordered from a local restaurant, they set the food onto plates to make it look a little more put together. He was in the middle of wiping off his fingers when the doorbell rings, and Yixing goes off to answer the door. He suddenly feels self conscious, scampering down the hall to check his appearance in the mirror. Since the weather is a little warm, he decided to wear a pair of light wash ankle jeans and a white button down with the sleeves folded back a bit.

The commotion of Yixing’s friends talking over one another makes Junmyeon a little more nervous, but he knows he can’t remain hidden in the hallway for the rest of the afternoon. After he finishes messing with his hair as if it would help relax his nerves, he calmly walks from the hallway as if he hadn’t been hyping himself up.

“Wait, is this him?”

He startles when all eyes are on him, and they’re no longer speaking. Standing before him are three women and two men, all looking at him as if he were an artifact in a museum. He bows in greeting, and speaks in the little Mandarin that he knows.

“Hello, I’m Kim Junmyeon—”

“Yah, no need,” the woman with waist length black hair speaks in clear Korean. Junmyeon’s eyes nearly pop out of his head.

“Wait, you guys know Korean?”

“Of course!” The woman with half of her short hair tied into a bun grins. “We went to college in Korea with Yixing. He’s the only one of us who actually returned after graduating. I’m Luli, and you’re  _ so _ cute.” 

Junmyeon blushes. “Thank you…”

“Luli, you’re going to make him uncomfortable.”

Luli rolls her eyes. “You’re such a buzzkill, Meifeng.”

Meifeng and Luli begin to bicker with one another, and Junmyeon bows again to the third woman. In comparison to Luli and Meifeng, she’s wearing a pastel blue midi dress instead of jeans and atee, and her hair is straightened to perfection. He sees the glistening of a ring on her left ring finger.

“Those two are such children,” she scolds, but it’s clear that her tone is playful. “I’m Yuyan, and this my husband, Yifan.”

Junmyeon greets Yifan once he turns to him, and Junmyeon wonders how the hell Yixing ended up with a group of friends who looked as though they too belonged on the cover of magazines. 

He meets Yixing’s last friend, Liang, he reminds Junmyeon a lot of himself. He’s also married, but his partner was unable to come since he was away on a business trip. Eventually, everyone is in the backyard and Junmyeon’s initial nervousness has since faded. They’re chatting about any and everything under the sun, ranging from sharing memories from their college days to catching up on their current lives since Yixing moved back to South Korea.

Yuyan and Yifan are trying for a baby, Liang and his husband recently celebrated their three year anniversary in the Maldives, and Luli recently got a promotion to marketing manager at her job. Junmyeon joins the conversation occasionally, but is mostly amazed to see Yixing in such an element. He’s used to seeing him in the privacy of the penthouse or at the office. Now, he’s arguing with Liang and Yifan about who the better soccer team is, dark wavy locks split down the middle as he sips on a beer. He’s dressed casually, and it’s astonishing how the three of them slip from Korean to Mandarin to English all within a single sentence.

He’s never been so comfortable around a group of new people before, and laughs openly when eating a dumpling much spicier than he expected and when Luli told a joke that didn’t land. His cheeks burned pink each time Yixing’s eyes lingered on him for a second too long or when he would kiss him unprovoked, which called for his friends to tease them as if watching their favorite television couple be lovey dovey with each other.

“I never thought I’d see Yixing with someone else,” Yuyan says after sipping her wine. “Who was the last one, again?”

The group has settled around the table once more after refilling wine glasses and bringing out more food. 

“Wang Jing Fei,” Luli speaks while popping a piece of shrimp into her mouth. “I still don’t like her.”

Junmyeon blinks. “What went wrong with her… if you want to talk about it.” 

Yixing clears his throat quietly. “It was over six years ago, so it’s alright,” he reaches for the half of the steamed pork bun that Junmyeon didn’t finish. “She was… not a compatible match for me. We met a year into undergraduate studies at Columbia, and we were both foreign exchange students, so we kind of clicked from that. We never met prior to that because she went to a different university. For an entire semester, we were just friends, but once we returned to China, I confessed to her.”

“It was so sickening how in love with her you were,” Yifan quips. “Remember her birthday that one year?”

“Yah,” Yixing chuckles. “I like to forget about that. Anyway, I thought she walked on water. She was incredible and so fiercely independent— it’s what I loved about her.”

“She wasn’t like that all the time, though,” Liang picks up a dumpling. 

Yixing rolls his eyes. “You can’t put the demise of our relationship completely on her. We were together for four years, and at first I thought it was great. We went on trips and spent a lot of time with each other’s families. I loved being with her, but she had a side to her that only I would see sometimes. One birthday in question, she got upset with me because she didn’t get this Chanel bag she had been wanting,” Yixing sighs. “We came from different social classes. We weren’t poor by any means, but buying a Chanel bag was not something we could freely do. I worked in the law library to give myself some extra money alongside what my parents could give, but I had things I needed to buy. Luxury purses weren't one of them.”

Junmyeon blunders. “Wait, you worked at your school’s library and she expected a Chanel purse?”

“I couldn’t really blame her since she came from a wealthy family. They spoiled her, and who was I to deny her something she’d been used to?” Yixing shrugs. “I got her to calm down, and I figured I could make it up to her the next year. So, I saved and got her whatever was popular on the market that year.”

“She was so ungrateful,” Meifeng rolls her eyes.

“She got even angrier than she did when she didn’t get what she wanted the previous year. I had gotten her a pair of shoes that I thought she would have liked, but apparently I was dead wrong. Jing Fei gave me hell over those shoes, but as soon as we went around her parents that same day, she was gushing about how much I loved her and how much I listened to her all. I don’t know if she was trying to make me look good in front of her parents or what, but every time she did it, it threw me off.”

Junmyeon bites his lip. “Why did you two break up?”

It takes a second for Yixing to respond, scratching the back of his head as he tries to find the right words.

“We were living together for about a year since I got a job at a law firm in Beijing. Things were going well, and Jing Fei was happy too. You know how moving in together can push people away from each other? It brought us together, instead. We didn’t have some penthouse in the city, but it was ours. One Christmas, her present to me was a positive pregnancy test. I don’t think I ever felt that kind of joy, then. We didn’t say anything to our friends yet because we kind of wanted to enjoy it before we told anyone, so I didn’t say anything until she was five months along.” 

Junmyeon reaches between them and gently squeezes Yixing’s hand in his own when he hears the break in his voice. For the few months that he’s been seeing him, Junmyeon was so used to Yixing being put together, so the small pool of tears welling up in the older man’s eyes made his own heart break.

“She miscarried at eight months. We went to the doctor for her usual checkup, and we found that the baby didn’t have a heartbeat anymore. We both had our own ways of grieving— I wanted to be there for her any way I could because I knew I lost a baby too, but I knew this was harder for her. She wanted her space and I don’t know, I guess I pushed too hard for her to lean on me. We tried to make it work, but we broke up six months later. Losing a baby and who I thought was the love of my life was the worst thing I had ever experienced at that time. I found solace in pretending like everything was okay during the week and then getting hammered at a bar or at home on the weekends. I was hurting, but I was being stupid too. I didn’t let anyone in, and if I did, then it was only for a night or two— I was spiraling and I knew I had to fix it before it was too late.”

Junmyeon bites the inside of his cheek. “What happened with Jang Fei?”

“We ran into each other shortly before I moved to Korea to start law school. She had moved on to someone else, and I could tell that she was happy. She told me that she dropped out of the law path, and found success in owning a flower shop. Plus, she said that the shop helped with her grieving process. We talked for a while, and we were able to finally get closure. Our breakup had been so volatile since neither of us wanted to talk about why we were hurting, so getting closure with her had been nice.” 

Yixing turns to Junmyeon then, and gently touches his cheek. He holds his breath as he feels all eyes on them. For a moment, it’s like his friends have faded away and it’s only the two of them sitting at the table. Junmyeon’s heart hammers in his chest as Yixing kisses him gently. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly become so nervous, or why his chest tightens the way that it does, but he returns the kiss with ease. They keep it relatively tame considering that they’re sitting in front of his friends.

“Having you in my life, though, has made me happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

“Aww, you guys are so cute!”

“Way to ruin the moment, Luli.”

  
  
  
  


The friends leave a few hours later, leaving Junmyeon and Yixing to do a minimal amount of cleaning. Luckily, they were helped with cleaning up outside, so they were mostly washing a few dishes and taking out the trash. Luckily, the atmosphere isn’t heavy between them despite the story that Yixing shared earlier, and they’re able to talk to each other with ease. He liked that Yixing felt comfortable enough to share it with him, but he definitely hadn’t been expecting it. 

Junmyeon would have never assumed that Yixing had gone through something so traumatic, and he wouldn’t even have known what to ask. He figured that Yixing’s past was his own, and unless he wanted to tell him, then there was no reason for him to. Junmyeon knows that Yixing has dropped right in the center of his tumultuous relationship with Seojun, but the day that he took off his ring, Junmyeon was hoping that that would be the end of it. He would have never guessed that Seojun could be so violent, nor so threatening. Junmyeon has wanted to confess his feelings since that day. However, he had to admit them to himself— he had to realize that he caught feelings for another man quicker than he ever had with Seojun.

Before they officially confessed to one another, Seojun often teased him and wondered when he was going to be his boyfriend. It took Junmyeon nearly five months to officially say that he loved him, and they were seven months into seeing each other when they became boyfriends. Seojun was a charming man, too. He made Junmyeon laugh and knew how to make him red all over, but Junmyeon saw the signs, and he wanted to believe that they weren’t true. He prayed that they weren’t true, but it was right in front of him the entire time and he should have ended the relationship as soon as Seojun’s behavior changed towards him.

Junmyeon dries his hands once he’s finished washing the dishes, and he turns to Yixing, who’s coming back in from shutting off the lights outside. He sinks his teeth down into his lip, and steadies himself. His heart is hammering in his chest the same way that it had a few hours ago, and he knows that it’s now or never. He moved over him, closing the space between them as he rolled up onto the balls of his feet to press a kiss against Yixing’s lips. The older man is taken aback, nearly stumbling, but lacing an arm around Junmyeon’s waist.

He kissed Yixing with all of the passion that he could muster, with all of the pent up emotions he was too nervous to say, that tickled the tip of his tongue whenever he was with him. They separate after a few moments, and their chest rise and fall as they attempt to catch their breaths.

“Where did that come from?” Yixing asks softly.

Junmyeon draws in a breath. Yixing is looking at him with so much fondness that it makes his heart beat erratically. He gently takes Yixing’s hand, and the gentle stroke of a thumb against the back of his hand helps to build his confidence.

“Yixing-ah,” he calls gently and it makes a smile spread on Yixing’s features. “You’ve been everything I could have ever asked for since I met you at the club. I didn’t expect to feel this way so suddenly, but you showed me what love should actually be and I don’t know how I would ever repay you for that,” Junmyeon pauses. “I’ve known that I felt this way since that night in the bathtub at your place, since we were in Paris, and I know it now. I didn’t think that I would be saying this too soon, but I can’t keep pretending like the feelings aren’t there. I love you, Zhang Yixing.”

He waits with bated breath as Yixing’s eyes scan over his face, and the longer that he doesn’t say anything, the more that his heart begins to sink down into his stomach. The fond smile that Yixing has doesn’t fade, but instead gets bigger, showing off his dimple as he dips down to kiss Junmyeon again.

“I love you too, Junmyeon-ah.”

Junmyeon instantly throws his arms around Yixing’s neck, joyous laughter spilling from his mouth as Yixing brings him in closer. His heart is fluttering in his chest and there’s butterflies taking over his stomach as he’s spun around, and tucks his face into the side of Yixing’s neck. The emotions that have built into his frame is released through giggles and a few tears that fall; he wraps his legs around Yixing’s waist as he’s placed on the countertop. Yixing brushes his hair out of his eyes, pressing a trail of kisses from his forehead to his neck and down to his collarbones.

Yixing pulls back to squish his cheeks gently, and the grin on Junmyeon’s face is so big that his cheeks are beginning to hurt. Junmyeon knows that with his own case building against Seojun and Yixing’s as well that they were in for a world of trouble when they return to Seoul, but right now, this is all he cares about: the way that Yixing is looking at him like he’s the brightest star in the sky and that he knows his confession wasn’t in vain.

His heart is overwhelmed and so is his mind, but all he can think about is the man who kisses him silly. The man who showed him what he deserved, the man who’s able to make him laugh even when he wants to cry, and the man who loves him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A super early chapter because I enjoyed writing this chapter so much! We finally got to meet some of Yixing's friends and a confession! My heart? Is super full. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I loved writing it, and I can't wait to read the comments!
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments, kudos, and hits as always.
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter & my Curious Cat @jcnnierubies.
> 
> Until the next update! 🤎


	20. nineteen

Ever since the two confessed, they’ve been incapable of putting more than an inch between themselves, as if they haven’t been doing so all along. Junmyeon wasn’t prepared for their kissing to turn into desperately peeling clothes off of one another, or being taken right on the kitchen table, thighs jumping as Yixing brushed his fingertips along his skin. He especially never expected for them to move to the floor. They were too enthralled with one another to care about how their knees and backs would feel after sex on hardwood.

They break-in the bathtub that’s nestled in the bedroom, water and honey scented bubbles splashing over the edge as their hips collide. At one point, Junmyeon knocks his head against the porcelain and his headache barely has the chance to form before the tension in his body finally releases. He swallows down Yixing’s length when they showered together later that evening, eyes burning from the hot water that pelts his face and eyes, and consumed by arousal with the way Yixing’s deep voice echoes in the bathroom.

They finally end up on the bed, hair still damp from the shower but too invested in the other’s lips to truly care. They kiss until their lips are swollen, until they’ve left a burning trail of featherlight touches on each other’s skin, and they’ve whispered those three little words to each other again and again and  _ again _ . Junmyeon’s brain is completely fogged as he’s pressed down into the mattress, legs hooked on either sides of Yixing’s waist and kissed as if he’s Yixing’s only source of oxygen. They’ve been at it for hours, and as much as Junmyeon wouldn’t mind going again (despite the dull ache in his lower back and the way that he can’t be looked at without moaning), he reluctantly waves the white flag.

Junmyeon settles down beside Yixing as they’re surrounded by a variety of snacks, candies, and drinks, replenishing after marathon sex. They’re munching on a shared packet of strawberry flavored cookies and Junmyeon is tucked safely into Yixing’s side as they watch a random drama with Korean subtitles. He “borrows” one of Yixing’s shirts that he had yet to wear, and it’s so big that the short sleeves of the neon yellow shirt stops below his elbows. He wondered why Yixing bought a shirt so big, but the question was promptly forgotten when the older man returned from the convenience store with two bags filled with junk food.

He instantly tore into the package of peach flavored Hi-Chew and sipped down a full can of Sprite that Yixing bought like his life depended on it. It’s safe to assume that Junmyeon had a full blown sugar rush that ultimately led to a sugar  _ crash _ , which is how he ended up tucked in Yixing’s side. He watches the show as if he hadn’t fallen asleep, and although he’s confused as to why the female protagonist just slapped the male lead, he doesn’t really mind it. He curls up into Yixing’s side, feeling at home and at peace when he’s with him

Yixing is half heartedly brushing his fingers through Junmyeon’s hair and snacking on some of the remaining cookies, but Junmyeon wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. He bites his lip and pushes himself up.

“Everything alright?” Yixing asks softly.

“My head’s been swimming is all, but in a good way. In the  _ best  _ of ways,” he pauses. “I know we confessed and I’m not taking that back, but… you don’t think we’re moving too fast, do you?”

It’s Yixing’s turn to sit up. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. I’m probably being insecure for no reason. I just… I really care about you and I want you to know that what I’m feeling is real. It’s so real that it’s almost scary, I want nothing more than for us to be together, but I’m afraid that I have too much baggage. I mean, you didn’t ask to deal with Seojun and his bullshit.”

Yixing turns his body towards Junmyeon and it’s clear that he’s taking their conversation a little more seriously. His nerves were starting to get the better of him, and although he’s completely sure of what Yixing has to say, there’s still that small percentage where he could say something else entirely. Junmyeon was so in love with Yixing that if he said he wanted to leave Seoul behind to buy a tomato farm in the countryside, then he’d follow him. He could want to live a life at sea and Junmyeon wouldn’t see a problem with it as long as they’re together.

“Junmyeon-ah, I have baggage too. Everyone has baggage, not just romantically, and it’s something that we can through as a couple. No matter how small or how big, we all deal with it— even the people who appear to be perfect. Like me.”

Junmyeon laughs.

“What I’m saying is… even if we met and you had two horns sticking out of your head or you had a snake tail instead of legs. I’d want to be with you,” he chuckles. “You have something significant to heal from, just like I did, and I want nothing more than to be by your side through it all.”

Junmyeon is sure that his eyes are sparkling, and he sinks his teeth down into his lower lip to steady himself. “Are you saying you want to be my boyfriend?” A goofy grin appears on his face.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, baby.”

Even though the two had done it enough in one day, he can’t resist kissing him again. It’s a flurry of movements and Yixing is flat on his back with Junmyeon nestled on his lap. They kiss languidly, Junmyeon gently cupping one of Yixing’s cheeks while Yixing rests a hand at Junmyeon’s waist. 

He feels Yixing’s teeth sinks down into his lower lip, and just as his lips are parting, he’s pulled away by his phone ringing. He extends his hand to reach the phone on the nightstand, and it’s surprising considering that his phone hasn’t really rang since arriving in Shanghai. Nonetheless, his eyes scan over the caller ID and he nearly screams.

_ Momma Kim _

Junmyeon shrieks and sits up on Yixing’s lap, clearing his throat a couple of times while Yixing watches him with a confused glint in his eye. He shoves Yixing back down when he tries to sit up, earning a soft  _ oof  _ when his back hits the mattress. He adjusts his clothing (or lack thereof) and pats down his hair despite the fact that it wasn’t a video call. He clears his throat one last time as Yixing settles his hands on his thighs.

“Mom…”

“Junmyeon-ah, when were you going to call your mother?” Kim Yeojin speaks calmly. “It’s been almost a month since we last spoke.”

Junmyeon’s shoulders slump. “I know, Mom. I’ve been meaning to call, but it’s been a little… hectic right now. Is everything alright?”

“As good as they could ever be without hearing from my favorite son.”

“I’m your only child.”

“That’s exactly my point!”

A gentle smile appears on Junmyeon’s face. His mom has always had a slight flair for the dramatics, and she had a strong habit of making herself the center of attention even when she doesn’t mean to. Yeojin always looked as if she stepped right off of a magazine shoot every time she left the house, and since her hair has turned grey, it only accentuated her beauty. Sometimes, when he’d visit his parents’s home and have a beer with his dad, the older Kim man would always sigh and say, “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

He gently bites down into his lower lip, and runs his fingers through his hair. She tells him all about the vacation she has planned with a group of her girlfriends, and about the recent renovations that they’ve completed on the house. Junmyeon promises to come and visit soon, but his heart nearly leaps right out of his chest when he feels a kiss pressed against his neck. He has seen people do this before, the whole thing where someone is on the phone while their partner gets frisky, but it has only ever been on television. Junmyeon reaches up with his free hand, fingers sliding into the silky tresses of Yixing’s hair in an attempt to get him to stop, but his plan is futile.

Yixing pulls the hand out of his hair, and places it down between their bodies.

He’s not sure if it has to do with the fact that he’s on the phone with his mother, but the feeling of Yixing kissing, licking, and gently nipping at his neck to form a mark turns him on even more than it usually does. Junmyeon effectively zones out of the conversation, and doesn’t hear when his mom asks a question. 

Junmyeon sobers. “S-Sorry, Mom. Could you say that again?”

“I was asking when you’d think you could meet your father and I for dinner. There’s a new steakhouse in Gangnam that we want to try.”

Junmyeon clears his throat, and feels himself melting against Yixing’s chest. “I’ll have to check my schedule at work, but I think we could go sometime soon. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten dinner together.”

He inhales sharply, taking the phone away from his mouth when Yixing’s warm hand circles around his front. His mom has begun to talk to his dad, and Junmyeon takes it as an opportunity to turn his head and seal his lips with Yixing’s, The hand holding his phone drops, and he nearly forgets that he’s even on the phone. Yixing pulls away and speaks against his lips. “Put the phone to your ear, Junmyeon-ah. You’re being rude.”

Junmyeon pouts. “ _ Yixing _ .”

He raises the phone once more and sighs deeply, flicking his tongue against his lower lip as he hears his mom return from talking to his dad. “Are you going to bring Seojun?”

He shakes his head, although she can’t see that. “No, probably not. I have to talk to you about him anyways… can I tell you over dinner? I’ll text you a date and time.”

Yixing’s hand slips under his shirt, and Junmyeon hisses.

“Junmyeon-ah, are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, sorry. I stubbed my toe.” 

He’s not prepared for the feeling of Yixing’s hand slipping into his boxers, and he has to press his face into the side of Yixing’s neck to prevent himself from whining. Junmyeon lays his hand on top of Yixing’s thigh, squeezing gently as a way to ground himself. His lips part when Yixing lightly nips at his earlobe.

“Is everything alright with you two?” His mother continues on without missing a beat. “I hope he hasn’t done anything stupid.”

“I-It’s nothing,” Junmyeon lies to save his mom from finding out over the phone. “It’s best if we talk about it in person, alright?”

“Well, okay then. Junmyeon-ah, you sound out of breath. You better not be getting sick.”

His hand squeezes into Yixing’s thigh a little more, and he wonders how the man had gotten so good at teasing. It’s been a few hours since the two last had sex (a total of four hours), and despite that fact, Junmyeon’s still as sensitive as ever. Keeping his hand on the phone, Junmyeon reaches down to grab Yixing’s hand, attempting to stop him from making him cry out. 

“Mom, I’m alright. I’ll stop by a pharmacy to be safe, promise. I’ll make sure to treat you and Dad to a nice dinner, okay?”

“Alright, and call me more! I miss hearing your voice.”

Junmyeon hums, and he doesn’t know if it’s out of habit or from the way that Yixing is touching him. “I will, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, Junmyeon-ah.”

He nearly throws the phone when he finally hangs up, and he wants nothing more than to wrangle Yixing by the neck. He feebly attempts to push his hands off, and he pushes his hands against Yixing’s chest playfully. Yixing flops back onto the mattress, and Junmyeon settles a hand against his chest. 

“You’re not finished yet,” Junmyeon says.

“Oh? Says who?”

Junmyeon plants his hands on the mattress and slides himself up until at eye level with Yixing. His hands slide to grip the hem of his shirt, and he pulls it over his head before tossing it onto the floor. He leans down to press their lips together in a heated kiss with Yixing’s hands sliding from his thighs and up to grip his hips. Junmyeon lowers himself down to his elbows and trails his fingers through Yixing’s hair. He pulls back a bit, and Yixing gently nips at his lower lip as he speaks.

“Says me. You should finish what you started.”

  
  
  
  


When Junmyeon wakes up again, the sun is beginning to set. The sun bathes the room in soft hues of pink and orange, and when he reaches over to find Yixing, he finds the otherside of the bed to be cold. He pushes himself up to get out of bed, slipping on the boxers and the shirt that was thrown onto the floor before leaving the room. There’s a warm aroma spreading throughout the villa, and he allows his nose to lead him. Junmyeon doesn’t know what’s being cooked, but it leaves a spicy scent in the air, so he continues through the house and finds Yixing at the stove.

Yixing is shirtless, clad in only a pair of windowpane patterned pajama bottoms from Ralph Lauren, and he’s busy mixing something on the stove. Junmyeon is ridiculously attracted to the sight of the man in the kitchen, back and shoulder muscles on display as he mixes the food in the pot and focuses on his task. A few moments pass by, and Junmyeon makes his way over, wrapping his arms around his waist. He peeks around Yixing, and gets a sight of what the older man is cooking. 

“Ooh, this looks so good,” Junmyeon beams.

“Want a taste?”

Junmyeon unlaces his arms from around Yixing as the older man dips the wooden spoon into the pot, blowing on it a few times before Junmyeon slurps it up. He smacks his lips a couple of times as the flavor spreads on his tongue, and he instantly feels inside. Yixing has made beef dumpling in hot and sour soup, and some scallion pancakes, which are cooking on a plate nearby. Yixing chuckles at the way Junmyeon’s eyes are wide from the flavor of the food, and asks him to help move the food to the dining table.

They set up everything, and Junmyeon finally sits after bringing over bowls and utensils. Yixing fills up their glasses with wine, and they settle into eating. They’re no sound between them other than soft noises of approval as they slurp up dumplings and sip on wine. Junmyeon happily munches on a piece of pancake, ready for a second helping, when Yixing speaks.

“I heard your mom mention Seojun.”

Junmyeon’s chewing slows down. “I was hoping she wouldn’t. I’m kind of nervous to tell her that we’re not together anymore. She was so excited about the wedding.”

“What are you going to say?”

Junmyeon shrugs. “I’ll probably leave out the whole ‘he kidnapped me and tried to kill me’ thing. My mom likes Seojun, but she’d probably kill him if she found out—”

“Maybe that’d be a good thing.”

Junmyeon laughs and nearly chokes on a dumpling. He covers his mouth to cough, and settles back in his seat. “I’m sure she’d love to if she found out, and I’m sure my dad wouldn’t like the sound of it either. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen them, but I know I should tell them, especially since I’m pressing charges.”

Yixing reaches a hand across the table, and Junmyeon slips his own into it. “Are you nervous about that too?”

He nods. “I’m more nervous to see him again rather than pressing charges. I’m sure he’ll try to hire the best lawyers he can to try and get out of it. I hope I hear something from Lieutenant Oh soon.”

“I’m sure you will.” Yixing gently strokes the back of his hand with his thumb. “We have one more night in Shanghai before we return home. What do you want to do?”

Junmyeon hadn’t thought about it, if he’s being honest. He was thankful simply to be out of Seoul for a few days in order to clear his mind, and although the physical scars are still there and it’ll take some time for the mental scars, he’s happy to be with Yixing. For once, he felt as though he could breathe and enjoy himself without Seojun looming over his shoulders. No longer did he feel like he had to be the perfect little boyfriend who sat with his hands in his laps and entertained whenever Seojun’s boring work friends were over. He enjoyed meeting Yixing’s friends, and he hopes to see them again soon.

Yixing makes him feel so safe. He makes him feel like he can say what’s on his mind without being scrutinized, and he doesn’t fear that Yixing will break his heart in the same way. Of course, he doesn’t know what the future holds for them— but Junmyeon can say that he’s never been happier. It was wrong of him to cheat on Seojun, he knows this, but Junmyeon had been disappointed one too many times. He should have paid more attention as Seojun continuously pushed back when they’d get married. There were always the excuses of it not being the right time, or that Junmyeon could have found a better venue, and if he’s being quite honest, Junmyeon wouldn’t have cared where they got married.

They could have gotten married in their pajamas, trading their vows on the couch and celebrating with cheeseburgers from McDonald’s.

Every time he tried to bring their wedding to Seojun’s attention, he was cast aside as if it were unimportant. Seojun always had to go meet his friends, or there was some never again mentioned ‘problem’ at work. Junmyeon spent too many hours, days,  _ years _ running after Seojun while trying to be the man he wanted. 

With Yixing, he doesn’t feel that stress. 

He makes him laugh, looks at him as though he were the only person in the world, and always listens to what he has to say. Yixing made sparks shoot across his skin with his touch, and could make his brain turn to mush the moment that they kissed. He feels at peace, and Junmyeon wouldn’t trade the feeling for the world.

So, he sits on a rooftop with Yixing, overlooking the beauty of Shanghai. The lights around the twinkle under the darkness of night, and Junmyeon enjoys the view. They decided to stop at a local bakery, picking up an assortment of desserts ranging from chocolate croissants, maple syrup flavored lamb horns, slices of truffle cake and tiramisu, and a lemon square that Junmyeon inhaled the second they were in the backseat of their taxi. 

It’s funny how loud the city is while walking down the sidewalk, but while they’re seemingly sitting on top of the world, it’s quiet. After Yixing and Junmyeon have shared their desserts, they sit with one another and simply enjoy each other’s company. Junmyeon tells terrible jokes which Yixing laughs at, and Yixing continuously gets icing or fudge or chocolate on his lips, and Junmyeon wonders if it’s a ploy to get kisses out of him. Either way it goes, Junmyeon doesn’t mind— he would kiss Yixing a million times if he asked. 

“I don’t want to go home,” he pouts. “Let’s stay in Shanghai forever.”

“Yah, don’t say stuff like that.”

Junmyeon can hear in Yixing’s tone that he’s teasing. “Why not?” He presses. “Is it a bad thing if I do?”

Yixing shakes his head. “You’ll start giving me ideas.”

“What kind of ideas? Do you want to get an apartment in the sky with me, Yixing-ah? We could make Shanghai our new home and I could get a job here.”

“You barely know Mandarin,” Yixing speaks playfully. “Let’s just make the best of Seoul, yeah?”

“Fine,” Junmyeon grins as he stands up. “Let’s get a picture.”

He reaches out for Yixing to take his hand, which he does after wiping off his fingers and mouth with a napkin. Junmyeon passes the phone to Yixing to snap the picture considering his longer arms, and he fits himself into the taller man’s side. Junmyeon throws up a signature peace sign, ready for Yixing to take the picture as he counts down from three. He doesn’t expect for Yixing to kiss his cheek, so his smile turns into a laugh when his ear is tickled by Yixing’s hair. The camera shutter goes off, but the picture itself is blurry.

It does capture the lights behind them and the scrunch of Junmyeon’s face when Yixing kisses his cheek. Taking anymore pictures is soon forgotten as Junmyeon stands up on his toes to press his lips against Yixing’s once more, fingers tangling into his dark locks as Yixing grips the back of his neck. The kiss is slow and soft, and Junmyeon never wants to let him go. 

They separate after a few minutes, and Yixing presses a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Promise me we’ll come back soon?”

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um.... cute 🥺
> 
> Hi friends! I'm back with another early chapter since this week wasn't too hectic in terms of coursework. I was aiming for a soft chapter before they're back in Seoul, and then all the drama starts coming back and I'll give you a teeny, tiny hint: the promise plays a huge part in what's to come 🤔
> 
> I have a lot to read this week and a couple of midterms to take, so I'm not sure of when the next update will be, but I hope that this fluffy chapter will suffice until then! My eyes are literally stinging and I'm yawning like crazy, so I'm signing off. As always, thank you guys so, so, so much for your comments, kudos, and hits! I know I always say it, but they truly mean the world and I love interacting with you guys.
> 
> If you'd like to listen to me ramble about albums, comebacks, and my WIPS, feel free to follow me on Twitter or ask me questions on my Curious Cat, @jcnnierubies.
> 
> Until the next update! 🤎


	21. twenty

“Sunbae, you’re back!”

Seulgi’s grin turns her face into a perfectly shaped mochi as she turns to Junmyeon, who is entering the office. Since returning from Shanghai, things had been going well for him— he was able to apologize to Jongdae for suddenly cancelling his appointment to tour apartments, but Jongdae was understanding and willing to reschedule, so he was going to see potential new homes over the weekend. He couldn’t wait to get out of the small sublet he was staging in, and he _especially_ couldn’t wait to have a new place to call his own.

In truth, he was nervous to be back at work. Yixing had to reassure him that it’d be alright when he dropped him off a little over fifteen minutes ago, and reminded him of the plain clothes officer that was in the lobby, acting as an interim receptionist. He hates that he still cares about Seojun’s well being despite all that he has done, and he prays that the feelings will pass. He doesn’t know where Seojun has disappeared to and he doesn’t _want_ to know, but it’s upsetting that he’s constantly having a battle in his head.

He doesn’t want to forget, not that he ever would, but he wants to at least come to peace with it. Junmyeon can only cross his fingers that Seojun is found.

Jennie and Seulgi flounce over to him with looks of worry on their faces.

“Did you rest well?”

“Are you okay? Not in pain?”

“You’re not leaving up like that again are you?”

Junmyeon chuckles softly. “I rested well, I’m not in pain, and I don’t have plans on leaving like that again. If I do, I’ll make sure to tell you two first.”

“What did you do while you were gone?”

Junmyeon immediately blushes at Jennie’s question. He had done nothing all that exciting other than officially having Yixing in his life, but they had no plans on telling anyone about their relationship yet. He still needed to talk to his parents, and Junmyeon didn’t want to spring on them that he ended his engagement and jumped into a relationship with someone else. One thing Junmyeon will admit to is the overwhelming happiness that he’s been feeling. Sometimes he finds himself in his head a little too much, thinking over what ifs and maybes, but Yixing is able to put a smile on his face almost as soon as the thoughts start to become too much. He likes that they’re so open with one another, that Junmyeon can voice if something is bothering him without the fear of repercussions, and he especially likes that Yixing showers him with love.

He stayed at Yixing’s place when they arrived back in Seoul unable to stop himself from falling into the clingy boyfriend role. He continuously tucked himself into Yixing’s side, kissed his neck, and touched him at all times. He wonders if he was ever annoying him at any point, but Junmyeon couldn’t help himself. For the lack of a better word, Junmyeon is whipped. 

“I had… a lot of fun.” 

Junmyeon makes himself useful for the next couple of hours, moving through his work morning by providing as much help as he can. He feels bad for his constant disappearing act over the last month, so he helps Jennie with the layout for the company newsletter and assists Seulgi with a manuscript that’s giving her a hard time. He’s happy to be at work, to say the least, ready to take his mind off of anything that may have been bothering him and putting his energy into something else. He does wish that he was still in Shanghai, and that he had more of those lemon squares, but he needed to return to Seoul.

Reality was always a doozy to deal with, and although Junmyeon had spent the last few days ignoring it in his bubble with Yixing, he knew that he couldn’t keep running away from it. He was hoping to receive a call from Lieutenant Oh soon about Seojun, but this was wishful thinking. It’s been _days_ , and it’s becoming a build up of anxiety in his system that Seojun hasn’t been apprehended yet. He tries to remain calm for his own sake, knowing that if he lets it eat away at him too much then he’ll end up having another panic attack. 

So, he focuses on what he's copying for a meeting later that afternoon, full on the fried chicken lunch that Irene treated the office to. The copy room is silent save for the mundane sounds of the copy machine working it’s magic, so he’s startled when the door opens and in walks Baekhyun. He feels a shiver run down his spine, not really looking to have his positive mood go sour, but Baekhyun’s usual aura of confidence is overrun by something more rare. 

Baekhyun is a little shifty, hands tucked into the pockets of his Burberry coat. He hadn’t gotten lunch with the rest of them as he had to go meet with some clients, but it’s apparent that he has something to say.

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon speaks slowly as he picks his words correctly. “Are you okay?”

Baekhyun startles. “Yeah, um, I know it’s an odd request, but can we talk on the roof? I don’t want anyone in the office to know.”

Junmyeon presses his lips together and nods, which Baekhyun takes as a cue to leave. He wants to say something more, Junmyeon can tell, but it’s clear that he wants to say it where prying ears aren’t lingering around. Junmyeon has _never_ seen Baekhyun as anything less than confident. He’s always walking around with an aura of dominance— he commanded a room as soon as he stepped into it, and he had no problem with exerting himself at the alpha. Sometimes, it would annoy the shit out of Junmyeon, but now his sudden switch in personality has him worrying.

He sets the papers onto his desk and asks Jennie to sort them, letting them know that he’ll be back. Junmyeon grabs his coat and makes his way up the stairwell, putting his coat on before pushing the door open to access the roof. Baekhyun is sitting on one of the benches up there, the chilly air whipping around him as he looks out at the city. Junmyeon takes a deep breath and walks over to join him, sitting down and sliding his hands into his coat pockets. The two sit in silence for a moment, and it’s Baekhyun who speaks first. 

“Did Seojun do that to you?” Junmyeon is taken aback and Baekhyun turns to him. “The scar on your cheek.”

Junmyeon’s fingertips touch the scar that’s nearly healed. “How did you—”

“He did the same to me,” Baekhyun sighs. “That sick bastard.” 

“What are you talking about? Did he... _hurt_ you?”

Baekhyun tilts his side from side to side. Junmyeon hadn’t been expecting to _ever_ have this kind of conversation with him. He always attempted to keep things civil between them considering that they worked together, but he never anticipated that Baekhyun would be vulnerable in front of him— hell, he never expected Baekhyun to be vulnerable in front of anyone. Junmyeon bites the inside of his cheek.

“He hates when someone talks back to him,” Baekhyun continues. “It’s always his way or there’s going to be hell to pay.” 

Junmyeon stutters for a second, sinking his teeth down into his lower lip as he tries to think about what’s happening right now. Is Baekhyun, for once, actually being nice to him? Is he actually wanting to have a conversation with him?

“Wait, wait,” Junmyeon blinks. “Baekhyun, I’m confused.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Yah, listen to me.”

“I am, I just… I’m not sure of where you’re going with this right now. Why did you want to talk to me?”

It takes a minute for Baekhyun to speak again. He rolls his shoulders and seemingly glares at the scenery around them, all while getting his words together.

“I hated you,” Junmyeon groans. “Don’t misunderstand me. I hated you for having a _nice_ Seojun. Every time he came here and looked at you like you had rainbows shooting out of your ass, I got angrier. I kept wondering why he didn’t look at me like that. Why he got annoyed by every small thing I said— how he could suddenly break up with me for you. We were together for two years, and I thought he loved me. I thought he was going to propose, but from the moment you two met, I knew I lost him.”

“Baekhyun, I’m sorry—”

“It’s not your fault. It never has been,” Baekhyun sniffles quietly. “He always had a wandering eye. We’d go out and he’d openly flirt with the wait staff or bartenders. I was so stupid then I thought he was doing it for the sake of a free drink, but I never saw him accepting their numbers on the back of receipts or napkins. I think I just… ignored it. ‘He comes home to me,’ I’d say. ‘He loves me’. I made up every excuse in the book except that he didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

Junmyeon gnaws at his bottom lip, averting his attention down to his shoes. He wasn’t expecting Baekhyun to open up about his relationship with Seojun. 

“When he met you,” Baekhyun pauses. “When he met you, he had instantly fallen in love with you and I could see it. He used to look at me with that same stupid, starry eyed look as if he’s holding on to every word you said. One night he came home late, and I just— I just _knew_ that he was cheating on me, so I confronted him about it. I wanted to know why he was coming home so late, and who he was so busy fucking that he couldn’t come home on time. I felt in my gut that it was you, and that was so fucked up of me, but I told him to tell me— I _demanded_ him to. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor and my face burned like hell.”

Junmyeon looks up from his hands, and his eyes are wide. He hadn’t realized how much his own presence had affected Baekhyun, nor did he think that Seojun actually left Baekhyun for him. He always assumed that they met by chance in that club, and that Seojun was just as interested in him as he was in Seojun. He was seeing the parallels in their relationship: Seojun being nice in the beginning until they’ve gotten comfortable with one another, Taking in all of this information is making Junmyeon’s head hurt, and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to be feeling right now.

Junmyeon inhales slowly. “Why are you telling me this, Baekhyun?”

“Because I thought Seojun had finally learned his lesson when he met you, and that made me angry. My hatred towards you had more to do with him seemingly acting like the perfect boyfriend— like the perfect fiance, once he broke up with me. After I accused him of cheating on me, it’s like he became a different person that I didn’t want to know. He’s _dangerous_ , Junmyeon-ah.”

Junmyeon presses his knees together, and bites down into his lower lip. This was the first time that Baekhyun has spoken to him so casually, and blinks away the tears in his eyes.

“He’s the reason why I was gone for those few days,” Junmyeon mumbles.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say he did a lot more than hit me, and I needed to get away.” Junmyeon purposely avoids mentioning Yixing. “I’m, um, I’m pressing charges against him.”

Baekhyun seemingly lets out a sigh of relief.

“Have you talked to anyone about it?”

“Not formally; I needed to get away first. I’m meeting with someone later in the week. I’m just… I’m more afraid that he wasn’t arrested after what he did. He’s still out there and I worry that he’ll try to hurt me again.”

“You did better than I ever did,” Baekhyun says with a soft smile. “I just… When I saw your scar I had a gut reaction, and I’m sorry that I’ve been so shit towards you for the past few years. I was so wrong to ever talk to you the way I did.”

“Thanks for the apology, and it’ll take some time for me to fully accept it, but it’s a good start. I’m sorry that Seojun treated you that way, too. Turns out he wasn’t as good as either of us assumed.”

Junmyeon smiles softly as they head back into the building as the cold nipping at their cheeks becomes too much for them to handle. As they step back into the stairwell, Baekhyun takes the lead and heads down the stairs.

“Yah, Junmyeon-ah. Let’s get lunch some time.”

Junmyeon nods. “I’d like that.”

  
  
  
  
  


Junmyeon finally leaves work at six on the dot, wrapping himself up in his coat and sliding his things down into his tote bag before leaving. He wanted nothing more than to go home, but he knew that he had some unfinished business to handle. After a short cab ride, Junmyeon is in front of his destination, and he asks the driver for five minutes before he gets out. His stomach is tightening on itself as he builds up the courage to go inside.

Finally, once he climbs out of the car, Junmyeon makes his way towards the building. It was about six stories high and fit right in with the other sleek buildings surrounding it, and Junmyeon is instantly feeling intimidated. Or, maybe it’s his fear wanting to take over. He looks down at the card in his hands, tucking it down into his pocket as he makes his way inside to avoid being late for his appointment. 

He walks inside and takes the elevator to the fourth floor, walking down the hallway and entering the office space. Junmyeon bows to the receptionist, and he does the same. The receptionist’s striking black hair is styled off of his forehead, and Junmyeon can tell that he’s completing some schoolwork. 

“Hi, do you have an appointment?”

Junmyeon nods. “Yes, for 6:30.”

“Kim Junmyeon?”

The door to the office opens behind him, and Junmyeon steps away a bit from the desk. The woman’s dark hair is pulled out of her face and into a sleek bun that shows off her face. She smooths her hands over the front of her black dress, and although there’s a bright smile on her face, she scolds the receptionist.

“Taeyong-ah, I told you to go home an hour ago!” 

Taeyong’s face flames. “I was only finishing up my work, I’ll be gone soon.” 

She seems skeptical, but decides to let it pass. “Fine. Finish up and I’ll see you on Thursday, alright?” 

Junmyeon feels the warmth between the two as it’s apparent that they’re the only two working in this office, and the environment is comfortable. The office, in any other capacity would have been unwelcoming with its large reception area, large windows, and high ceilings, but the woman’s aura is more than enough to make up for that. Junmyeon had also booked the last available walk-in appointment, so everyone else who needed to see her was gone for the evening.

He walks into her office and sets himself onto the plush leather chair, putting his bag down on his lap in an effort to ground himself. This was his first time ever experiencing something like this, and he knew that he needed to talk to someone before his head explodes. She walks over to him, smooths the back of her dress against her legs and sets herself down in the chair in front of him. She writes on her keyboard for a moment before she’s speaking to him.

“I’m Kwon Bo-ah, and I’m so glad that you came to see me, Junmyeon-ssi.”

He nods sheepishly. “I’m kind of nervous. I’ve, um, I’ve never been to therapy before.”

“Well, I applaud you for taking the step. I also want you to know that therapy is important, and it’s open for everyone. Sometimes, people just need someone they can talk to who won’t have a biased opinion. If you want, we can talk about something specific, or we can chat about anything. Please, start whenever you’re ready.”

Junmyeon bites his lower lip and fiddles with the strap of his bag. He doesn’t want to get into the details yet— it’s only his first appointment, but he doesn’t know where to start. Junmyeon had come here after Yixing referred him to Bo-ah, and he wasn’t really sure of how he was feeling at that moment. His mind couldn’t seem to focus, and his heart races as he conjures up something to say.

“I’m,” he starts. “I’m just getting out of a really bad relationship and it’s… I didn’t realize how much it was weighing on me until it was over. For a long time, I was putting my feelings aside to make him feel good and I was accepting all of his misgivings because—”

Junmyeon’s chest pangs as he tightens his grip on the bag’s strap. He hadn’t realized how much he was truly hurting until now, and although he was only ten minutes into this appointment, he feels tears welling up in his eyes. Bo-ah hands over a tissue box, and Junmyeon swipes up a few to wipe his nose. His chest tightens as he finally looks up at her again.

Bo-ah silently encourages him.

“I wanted him to love me, and I think he did in the beginning. He was nice and he said all of the right things, and I loved him so much. We were going to get married and I wanted nothing more than to be his husband. I wanted to have a child with him and do all the stuff we said we would, but he was so _awful_ to me during the last year of our relationship, and I was so stupid to try and ignore it.”

“Junmyeon-ssi, you weren’t stupid. We all want to keep the love that we have for as long as we can, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Then why do I feel like all of this is my fault?” Junmyeon inhales sharply. “Everything that he did to me, it feels like _I_ pushed him to his limit. What if I didn’t nag him? What if I didn’t say anything? Maybe if I didn’t say anything then he wouldn’t be so mad at me. Why was I… why was I _stupid_ enough to believe that he wanted me? That he ever had more interest in me past sex and my willing to do whatever he asked just so I would get an ounce of the love that I was giving to him?”

Silence consumes the office save for Junmyeon’s sniffles and Bo-ah’s pen scratching against the paper. She sighs silently through her nose.

“Junmyeon-ssi, nothing that he did to you, whatever it may be, is _not_ your fault and I want you to know that. No matter if he raised his voice or raised his hand, those were _his_ choices and I’m sorry that he ever made you feel this way.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. “I just want— I just want this feeling to pass. I don’t want to feel like this forever and I don’t want him to have power over me. All I want is to be happy and to move on.”

The tension that Junmyeon was feeling throughout his body slowly began to release from his system the more that he talked to Bo-ah. She listened to him without interruption and gave small pieces of advice whenever she saw fit. When Yixing recommended her, Junmyeon wasn’t totally against the idea, but he had a stereotypical view of therapy. He didn’t think that he needed it, and that the feelings he was experiencing would eventually go away, but he knew deep down that if he wanted to _actually_ do that, then he needed to express everything that had been bottling up. That didn’t only mean what’s happened in the last few months either. He needed to talk about the last five years of his life, since meeting Seojun and having him in his life as both a friend and a partner. Seojun had been a large part of his life, someone that he believed to have loved him unconditionally, but Junmyeon knew that he had to let him go.

Junmyeon leaves the session with a little less weight on his shoulders, having laughed and cried out his emotions. An hour long session wasn’t going to do much, but he liked Bo-ah, so he made another appointment with her before leaving the office. By that time, Taeyong had already left, and Bo-ah left for the night. He bows to her as she heads towards the building’s parking garage. Junmyeon makes his way to the front, and a grin stretches across his features when he sees Yixing waiting in the lobby. Junmyeon tip toes over and throws his arms around Yixing, but his attempt to surprise him fails.

Junmyeon notices that Yixing has a look of worry on his face as he unwraps his arms around him, and his smile fades. He has only seen Yixing with this look on his face a few times since they’ve been seeing one another, and it always brings him great stress.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks softly.

Yixing sighs, tugging his lip between his teeth. “Junmyeon-ah…”

“J-Just say it, please.”

“Sehun, he— he was attacked about an hour ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long. Time. No. See! My friends, after a month and a few days, "Underwater" is officially off semi hiatus and I'm so happy to be back! It took a little while longer to update the chapters, mostly stemming from the end of the semester (and I did so well!!), but now I can update as I please without the stresses of coursework weighing on me.
> 
> That being said, I have officially come to the conclusion that "Underwater" will be ending at 30 chapters, so please stay tuned! This isn't the end, and we definitely have not seen the last of Seojun. 😉
> 
> Please feel free to follow me on Twitter & CC @jcnnierubies.


	22. twenty one

“ _ Yixing _ ! Yixing, slow down.”

Junmyeon stumbles over his shoes as he attempts to keep up with the taller’s hurried footsteps, keeping a firm grip on his hand. He’s not sure as to why they’re at the police station instead of a hospital, but he doesn’t question it as they make their way through the moving bodies. Junmyeon has never walked so freely through a police station (nor has he ever gone into one other than for a minor car accident a few years ago), but he does his best to keep up with Yixing as they search for Sehun.

They round the corner, and Yixing pushes open an office door. He nearly barrels into Yixing’s back when he suddenly stops, and peers around the taller man. Before them is Sehun, settled on the leather couch in his office while a paramedic bandages his side. Junmyeon’s eyes stretch at the sight of the blood underneath the bandaging, but he’s especially more shocked at how calm Sehun is in this moment.

“Sehun-ah,” Yixing sighs. “Why didn’t you go to the hospital?”

Sehun exhales. “You know better than to believe some pocket knife is enough to kill me.” The paramedic finishes with what they’re doing and bows to them before leaving. “I hope you didn’t think I was going to let him get away. Johnny’s with him now.”

Junmyeon and Yixing sit down on the opposite couch as Sehun pulls on his shirt. He moves slowly as he does so, throwing back a couple of pills without water as he settles onto the couch a little more. Junmyeon sinks his teeth down into his lower lip, and he doesn’t know where all of this is heading.

“Do you know who that was?” He asks when Sehun gets comfortable.

Sehun flips open a manila folder. “In his report, Johnny said that his name is Kim Hwan. He works as a financial planner at Seoul Financial. Does that name ring any bells to you?”

“Not really, but I’m sure we’ve come across each other at some point, thanks to those dinners and parties over the years,” Junmyeon sighs. “Why would he attack you though?”

Sehun looks down at the folder again. “Apparently, he was bought off by Seojun. I don’t think he thought someone would sell him out so fast. The only thing he won’t tell us is where Seojun is at this current moment. He talked about everything but that.”

Junmyeon releases a breath when he feels Yixing's hand against his back. He wants nothing more than for this entire ordeal to be over. The fear that he’s constantly feeling surrounding this situation has made him more paranoid than he’d like to be. He hates to walk places alone, has an irrational fear that any dark figure is following him, and he’s started leaving the television on at night because he fears the sounds of people moving around outside of his sublet. 

He doesn’t know how much longer he can handle the stress. Seeing a therapist has helped as much as one appointment can, but it’s stressing him out that Seojun hasn’t been found. Junmyeon wants to heal, and he wants to move on with his life, and he’d like to have Yixing in his life once all of this comes to an end. There’s another fear that’s looming over him.

That Yixing may leave.

He doesn’t want to believe that it would happen, but it’s still a possibility that continues to tighten around his heart. There’s the chance that Yixing is just biding his time— waiting until he closes his case against Seojun and then Junmyeon will be let go. He wants nothing more than for Yixing to stay, and to be with him, but as much as he doesn’t want it to happen, he wouldn’t be surprised if it does. Junmyeon’s baggage weighs down so heavily onto his shoulders that he’s not sure of how much more he can take.

“...all of this isn’t making sense,” Sehun sighs. “All of this to protect some kind of image that he’s put on for himself? How does one go from white collar crime to hurting your ex fiance to beginning to hurt the people around him? It doesn’t make sense.”

And Junmyeon doesn’t know what the motive is either. He feels uneasy, not knowing what Seojun’s next move is going to be. Every move he’s made thus far has been erratic and completely unexpected. Junmyeon sinks his teeth down into his lower lip as he continues to listen to Yixing and Sehun’s conversation. He can barely focus on what they’re talking about— throwing theories at one another— when he abruptly stands and leaves the office. Junmyeon doesn’t hear Yixing calling after him, ears ringing uncomfortably as he walks a little ways down the hallway.

Junmyeon doesn’t know where he’s headed, but he keeps walking until he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. He visibly flinches as he’s snapped out of his trance, and it’s then that he notices he reached the dead end of a hallway. Yixing is standing a little ways behind him, hand wrapped gingerly around his wrist as if to keep him grounded. He feels heavy droplets cascade down his cheeks, and he tries to keep his sniffling quiet, but he knows that he’s failed when Yixing moves to stand before him. Junmyeon doesn’t dare to look up, instead keeping his attention on their shoes. He tenses when Yixing gently cups his cheek.

“Junmyeon-ah,” he calls softly. “Look at me,  _ please _ .”

Junmyeon’s eyes, swimming with unshed tears, flit up to meet Yixing’s. His chest constricts uncomfortably, and his hands shake to the point where he has to clench them in order to make them stop. He bites the inside of his cheek as Yixing gently pats his thumbs against his cheeks. Junmyeon licks his dry lips and exhales raggedly, attempting to bring himself down, but it doesn’t work.

“Yixing-ah,” he mumbles. 

He feels a kiss against his forehead. “Talk to me.”

“You should,” he exhales. “You should let me go.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You should let me go, Yixing-ah. I’m doing nothing more than bringing chaos into your life. Sehun just got attacked, you had to take time off work because of Seojun’s mess, and who knows what else is going to come out of this. I can’t… I  _ won’t  _ let you get hurt because of me.”

“Junmyeon-ah—”

“No, you should. I can’t let you get hurt. Enough has already happened and you—”

“Yah,” Yixing’s tone makes Junmyeon flinch and he feels his hands drop from his face. “Junmyeon-ah, I meant what I said when we were in Shanghai. I love  _ you _ , baggage and all, and if you think that that asshole is enough to make me run away then you’re wrong.”

Junmyeon sniffles, and Yixing brings him in close. “I don’t want anything to happen to you because of me, though.”

“ _ Nothing _ is going to happen to me  _ because _ you. All of what has happened is Seojun’s fault, no one else’s. You aren’t to blame for what he’s done and I’d never blame you in the first place.”

“It just—”

“Do you love me, Junmyeon-ah?”

He’s taken aback by the sudden question, and he stares up at Yixing with wide eyes. Junmyeon sobers at the expression on Yixing’s face. It’s one of passion— fire in his eyes and determination written all over his features. Junmyeon nearly wants to melt underneath his fierce gaze.

“Of course I love you.” 

“Then don’t let Seojun get in the way of that. I meant what I said to you, Junmyeon-ah. You are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, and I’m not letting go of you that easily,” Yixing gently cups his cheeks then, guiding his attention to him. “Do you understand me?”

Junmyeon nods. “I do, and I’m sorry. I’ve been getting into my own head these days.”

Yixing brushes a hand over Junmyeon’s hair and kisses the top of his head. “It’s okay, come on. We’ll head home.”

  
  
  
  


Home is exactly how Yixing’s apartment feels when he steps inside. Yixing suggested that he stay over for the night since his anxiety was getting the better of him, and he didn’t protest the suggestion. They stopped at his sublet to pick up some clothes for the night, and they made their way to Yixing’s place. He toes off his shoes near the front door and takes his bag to the bedroom. Junmyeon changes into some comfortable clothes, opting to shower in the morning, and leaves the room to join Yixing. Yixing hangs up the phone as Junmyeon joins him on the couch, and laces an arm around his shoulders as he squishes himself into Yixing’s side.

“You’re warm,” Junmyeon sighs contentedly as he rests his head on Yixing’s shoulder. “And you smell nice. It’s comforting.”

Yixing kisses against his neck, and laughs softly when his lips tickle against Junmyeon’s skin. He tries not to let himself get sucked in, but he knows better than to believe that he can resist Yixing’s charms (and lips). Junmyeon gasps lightly when he feels Yixing gently nip at his neck, and he raises his chin to allow Yixing more access. 

Honestly, this had been the last thing on Junmyeon’s mind when he came over that night. However, he’s not going to deny the chance to clear his mind for an hour or two. The way that Yixing touches him always makes his mind go blank, and the only thing that he can focus on is the way that Yixing sinks his teeth down into the junction where Junmyeon’s neck and shoulder meet. Junmyeon welcomes the distraction, small jolts spreading throughout his frame while Yixing works at sucking a bruise against his neck.

Junmyeon has dealt with more emotions in the last twelve hours than he has in the last few days, and he would have accepted  _ anything  _ as a way of calming his nerves down. His fingers slide into the hair at the back of Yixing’s head, which helps in getting Yixing’s attention. They stare into each other’s eyes for a minute before Junmyeon closes the space between them, kissing Yixing gently and closing the space between them. He shifts himself a bit, and Yixing slips between his legs as he’s pressed down into the couch cushions. 

He loses himself in their kiss and feels himself melting further into the cushions. Junmyeon is just about to hook his legs around Yixing’s waist when he hears a knock against the door, and Yixing reluctantly pulls away. 

“Wait, don’t go,” Junmyeon teasingly whines and grabs Yixing’s hand before he gets too far. “One more.”

Yixing chuckles and leans down to crowd Junmyeon’s space. “You’re a spoiled brat.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

Yixing kisses him chastely, nipping at his lower lip before pulling away completely. “Yeah, I do.”

Junmyeon’s cheeks burn pink once Yixing goes to answer the door, and he feels a warmth spread through his chest while he lays on the couch. He hears Yixing making small talk with the delivery driver, and rolls over to sit up when the door clicks closed. Junmyeon feels at peace when Yixing joins him again, and they decide to eat on the couch so as to not burst the bubble that they’ve created. Wanting to keep dinner light, the couple opted for a variety of maki and temaki rolls. With neither of them in the mood for alcohol, Junmyeon grabs two cans of Coke from the fridge. 

He munches on a California maki roll that Yixing fed to him as the movie they turned on plays without their attention. Junmyeon is too caught up in watching Yixing in the low light of the living room to realize that he’s been staring at him for the better part of three minutes. He swallows down his food and watches as Yixing picks up his third shrimp tempura maki roll, entranced by the way that his jaw clenches when he chews and how his head nods at the flavor. Junmyeon has not only fallen in love with the man in front of him, but also with the mannerisms that he has gotten used to over the last couple of months.

Yixing has a tendency of chewing at the corner of his lips when he’s focusing, running his fingers through his hair to avoid his cheeks flaming, and his lips turn up into a small smirk when Junmyeon teases him. He always managed to kiss Junmyeon as if there were a thousand words left unsaid, touched him as if he were made of porcelain, and made love to him until he was falling apart right in his arms, body shaking gently and toes curling in on themselves until Junmyeon feels as though he may snap right in half.

Junmyeon snaps from his trance when Yixing wipes off his mouth with a piece of tissue, and he quickly averts his gaze as if he hadn’t been staring. 

“You know,” Yixing hums. “I was wondering why my face was getting so hot. You were burning holes into the side of my head.”

Junmyeon’s cheeks flame. “I was doing no such thing.”

“Are you sure?” Yixing leans closer to him until his breath is against the shell of his ear. “Are you lying to me, Junmyeon-ah?”

“I was just thinking.”

“About?”

Junmyeon bites his tongue. “How much I love you, and how much I love  _ being _ with you. I was inching closer towards the edge of the cliff earlier today and you managed to bring me back to reality. The reality that— that I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. That there’s no one else in the  _ world _ that I’d rather be with. You’re everything I could have ever asked for, and more.” 

He finally turns to look at Yixing, who has a smile spreading across his features. Junmyeon leans over to close the space between them for the second time that night, kissing Yixing and instantly crawling up onto his lap. Yixing’s hands settle themselves at his hips, gripping them in an effort to bring him in closer. Sitting on the older man’s lap is one of his favorite positions to kiss him, as neither of them have to strain much because of their height difference. Junmyeon licks his tongue into Yixing’s mouth, which deepens the kiss further, and he finds himself melting into his chest as one of Yixing’s hands slides up to the back of his neck.

Junmyeon is pressed down into the leather of the couch, and it’s a flurry of movements as they peel off each other’s clothes. After each article is removed, their lips are connecting to whatever piece of exposed skin they can get their lips on. Their heavy breaths and moans fill the expanse of the living room, their food long forgotten as they lose themselves in one another. Junmyeon’s hips rise and fall as he grips the back of the couch, and comes with his cheek pressed into the leather. His skin is coated with sweat as he’s carried to the bedroom, body lifeless as he’s laid into bed, and Yixing cleans him up a bit before slipping into bed beside him. The last thing that Junmyeon feels before slipping into a state of unconsciousness is Yixing kissing just above his brow.

  
  
  
  
  


When Junmyeon wakes, the sun is beginning to rise. He doesn’t open his eyes until he reaches over to Yixing’s side of the bed and finds the space to be ice cold. Junmyeon sits up in the bed, scrubbing at his eyes when an uncomfortable sense of stillness takes over his frame. The soft sheets have tangled around his frame as he peeks over at the clock, and it has just barely touched six in the morning. Junmyeon untangles himself and slides on the first pair of boxers and shirt that his hands land on. The house is as quiet as he should expect it to be, but it’s far too early for Yixing to have gone to work, unless he was called to come in earlier.

There’s something unsettling about the silence, though.

Junmyeon carefully pads out of the bedroom, and takes a peek into the door of the office, and finds it to be empty. Carefully, he looks into the living room and sees that the food had been cleaned up from last night, but as Yixing’s apartment is open plan, there’s no sign of the other man anywhere. He tries not to think much of it, and heads into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He has about forty five minutes until he needs to start getting ready for work, so he makes himself a matcha latte and finds the ingredients for a vegetable omelet, tofu, and rice. Junmyeon measures out the rice, and turns to rinse it in the sink, but an audible gasp spills from his lips when he sees a broken glass in the sink.

The glass had spots of blood on it. 

The rice pot clatters noisily against the floor when it falls from Junmyeon’s hands, and rice spills all over the kitchen floor. Junmyeon gasps and nearly slips, but he catches himself on the counter. Where the hell could Yixing have gone and why is there broken glass in the sink? With his weapon in hand (a pair of kitchen shears), Junmyeon tries to calm himself down enough to think rationally. If someone was there to hurt them, then why would they only hurt Yixing and not him too? Unless, Yixing had been targeted. Junmyeon shakes his head, not wanting to believe the thoughts that are crossing his mind. His breath hitches in his throat when he hears the front door click open, and he grips the shears tightly as he hears approaching footsteps. 

Junmyeon’s heart nearly wants to jump out of his chest as the figure rounds the corner, and whatever confidence he had immediately falters as he crouches down into a ball. His body visibly shakes while awaiting his fate, and he swears that his heart is going to fall right out of his chest when his name is called.

“Junmyeon-ah?”

He finally looks up, and whimpers when Seojun rounds the corner. Seojun tilts his head, greasy hair sticking to his face as he slowly approaches him. Junmyeon attempts to back up more, but he does nothing more than press uncomfortably into the cabinets behind him. Seojun closes the space between them, and crouches down before him. Junmyeon’s breaths become choppy, heart hammering in his chest as Seojun reaches out to cup his cheek. The look in his eye is even more terrifying than what he had seen that previous night, and he digs his nails into his palms in an effort to ground himself.

“H-How did you get in here?”

Seojun shrugs. “Don’t worry about that, babe. Just know that I’m here for you.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Junmyeon whines when Seojun grips his arm, sharp nails digging into his arms as he pulls him in closer. He sinks his teeth down into his cheek as he scans his eyes over Seojun’s face. Seojun’s hand moves from his wrist and up to his cheek, where a warm liquid collects against his cheek. 

“You have to stop denying me, baby,” Seojun brushes his thumb against Junmyeon’s lips. “All you have to do is come with me, and this all ends now.”

The metallic taste that hits his tongue causes an irrational fear to spread throughout his body, but he won’t fall for Seojun’s games. “I’m not going  _ anywhere  _ with you—”

“That’s too bad.”

  
  
  


A scream rips from his chest as he feels a sharp pain in his back, and he sits up in the bed as he clutches at his chest. His naked frame is one again covered in sweat, and takes in deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. He barely registers Yixing sitting up beside him, and flinches when he places a gentle hand against his back. Junmyeon doesn’t know how much more of these terrifyingly realistic dreams that he could take, but he presses his face into his hands in an effort to calm himself down. 

“Hey, deep breaths, alright? Here.”

Yixing reaches over for the glass of water on the nightstand, and presses the glass to Junmyeon’s lips. He sips down about half of the glass before he pushes it away, still gasping for air as he slowly feels his heart beat slow down. Yixing’s hand rubs against his back, and he takes a solid deep breath before he even attempts to speak.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up. I had—”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Yixing wraps his arms around him in a firm but comforting hug, and Junmyeon rests his head against his shoulder. “Come on, let’s lay back down.”

Junmyeon rests his head against Yixing’s chest, and uses Yixing’s steady breathing to calm himself down enough to fall asleep again. It takes a little bit of time, but with the feeling of Yixing’s fingers gently stroking through his hair helps in him finally relaxing enough to fall back asleep. 

His forgotten phone in the living room vibrates on the coffee table, clattering onto the carpeted floor as it rings three times more.

**Momma Kim**

_ Junmyeon-ah, call me! _

**Momma Kim**

_ I forgot to tell you. _

_ Seojun-ah stopped by earlier today and told me the details of the wedding. _

_ Why haven’t you said anything?  _

**Momma Kim**

_ And I got your reservation for dinner, I’ll see you tomorrow night! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're inching closer to Seojun's big return; what do you think is gonna happen? 🤔
> 
> And, even though we've still got a ways to go before hitting 2k hits, I just want to thank everyone who has read my lil fic, left a comment, or a kudos! It truly means the world to me, and it motives me to put my heart and soul into the new chapters. We have nine more until Underwater comes to an end, and I still have tons more up my sleeve. 
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter & send me questions on CC @jcnnierubies!


	23. twenty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with explicit mentioning of revenge porn. Please read with caution. The tags will be updated for proper warning.

Yixing’s eyes open four minutes before his alarm is set to go off.

His apartment is still blanketed by the early morning moonlight, coating the bedroom black as he reaches over to turn off the alarm. He had fallen into bed a little after midnight the previous night, having been consumed by yet another case that landed on his desk. His case against Seojun and Seoul Financial would be one of the biggest cases of his career, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not constantly looking at whatever cases detectives are working on. In fact, he and Minseok have turned away a few of them for insufficient evidence, but there was still a heavy stack on his desk. In relation to the Seoul Financial case, more and more witnesses (or, colleagues of Seojun who just want to save their own asses) have been coming forward with information. 

It’s incredible how many of them believe that sharing this information  _ now  _ will somehow grant them immunity, but Yixing will let them sing like birds until they’re red in the face. 

He moves to get out of bed, but the figure resting on him stirs. His eyes shift down to Junmyeon, who is still sleeping soundly as he usually doesn’t have to get up for another hour. Junmyeon is naked save for a shirt that’s a little too big since he woke Yixing up at close to three in the morning with gentle kisses against his neck. Both of them were too tired to even open their eyes when Junmyeon straddled his waist, and they fucked lazily, Junmyeon working his hips as best he could while burying his face into the side of Yixing’s neck.

They came shortly after one another, and after Junmyeon moved off of him to tuck himself into Yixing’s side, the two were once again consumed by sleep. Yixing knew that Junmyeon was stressed — it was written all over his face. He knew that Junmyeon was pretending that he was okay, and that he had picked up the pieces, but this was why he suggested for him to go to therapy. Prior to moving back to Seoul, Yixing had gotten himself a therapist in Shanghai, and made the effort to understand why he was experiencing newfound emotions or how to deal with high volumes of stress. For the most part, Yixing found therapy to be what he needed; he needed someone, not a friend, who would listen and give him their unbiased opinion. Of course, there was only so much that Yixing could do or say to help Junmyeon. Even now, he doesn’t know the full details of what happened to him that night, as Minseok has control over the case. 

He’s not really sure if he  _ wants  _ to know. 

When he’s sleeping, Junmyeon is void of any tension. His shoulders relax and his eyebrows aren’t knitted together out of frustration or heavy focus, but he grips the sheets in his loose fist while his head rests on Yixing’s chest. Yixing gently smooths a hand over Junmyeon’s hair, and presses a kiss against his forehead before easing out of bed. He pauses when the younger man whines, but Junmyeon only rolls over and gets comfortable in a new position. 

Yixing showers and has breakfast, and leaves for the office. He greets Yeji on his way up, and sees that Lisa has had a brightly colored bouquet of flowers delivered to her. She’s nearly red all over as she’s playfully teased by Sooyoung, one of their junior associates, and Yixing makes his way over.

“Sunbae, it looks like our little Lisa here is in love,” Sooyoung jokes.

“Who’s the lucky person?” 

Lisa blushes as she hands a stack of papers to Yixing, and he begins to lazily flip through them. He peers up at the receptionist as she stumbles over her words.

“I mean… it’s really… it’s so  _ new _ ,” she gushes. “I didn’t think he was going to send me flowers. We’ve only been on four dates!” 

Yixing closes the folder in his hands. “Sometimes that’s all a person needs to know when they like someone.” Minseok signals him to come to his office. “Let me know if I need to beat him up, alright?”

Sooyoung giggles, and Lisa blushes crimson. “I hope I won’t have to.”

Yixing gently knocks his knuckles against the desk before taking his leave, dropping off his bag and the folder before going to Minseok’s office. It wasn’t unheard of for Minseok to get to the office this early, but when Yixing steps into his office, it appears that something has Minseok on edge. It’s only eight in the morning, and there’s already two empty coffee cups in the trash. In most instances, Yixing would have teased him about getting constipated if he keeps drinking this much coffee (which has happened before), but he can tell that Minseok is not in a joking mood.

He barely has a chance of sitting down before Minseok is turning to him with an accusatory finger pointed at him.

“When the  _ fuck  _ were you going to tell me that you’ve been sleeping with Junmyeon?”

_ Shit.  _

Yes, it was wrong of Yixing to not tell Minseok that he was seeing Junmyeon, but it was mostly because of the fact that they were already seeing each other prior to Junmyeon knowing about their case against Seojun. Either way, no matter how much he tries to justify it, he should have said something. It appears as though Minseok has been wracking his brain about this information for most of the morning, so Yixing closes the door to his office before their associates hear anything else they’re not supposed to.

“Minseok, relax—”

“How the fuck am I supposed to  _ relax _ , Zhang? You’re handling the case that could send his ex or whatever the fuck to  _ prison _ , possibly for the next decade! Even if the guy is a weasel, you still should have told me this.”

Yixing exhales heavily. “You’re right, I should have told you, and I was being stupid. He’s been through so much in the last couple of months…”

“And I get that,” Minseok sighs as dumps himself into his chair. “I have to commend him on his desire to put the bastard in jail. He rips off the poor, hurts someone he claims to love, has a detective stabbed? He’s got a personal place in hell.”

Yixing blinks. “How did you find out?”

“About?”

“Junmyeon and I. Did someone tell you?”

Minseok shakes his head. “I got a package this morning with no return address.” He moves some things on his desk, and picks up a small stack of photos. “It had these pictures in it, and for whatever reason, you’re being followed.”

Yixing takes the pictures that are passed to him, and he shuffles through them. The pictures were from about a week ago, when he and Junmyeon had something equivalent to a date night. Speaking of which, Yixing needs to take him on a formal date soon.

They had driven to what they assumed to be a secluded spot, which gave them a view of the city while eating their food and chatting. Junmyeon enjoyed two cans of beer while Yixing had sparkling water due to driving, and it’s then that Yixing discovered how much of a lightweight his counterpart was. Junmyeon was tipsy almost the second he finished the second can, which emboldened him, if Junmyeon climbing onto his lap was any indication. They kissed lazily for a while, Yixing’s hands gripping his hips and Junmyeon gently pulling his hair. Their kissing became heated as time went on, to the point where Yixing reclines his seat to better accommodate Junmyeon when he sheds his clothes. It was a sight to behold — Junmyeon fully naked on top of him while he was still clothed, and he had never seen Junmyeon in such an element before. Despite knocking his head a few times on the low roof of his Porsche, Junmyeon’s hips never stilled and despite the tint on the windows, his car was still a fucking fishbowl. 

The sight of the pictures  _ disgust  _ him. Seeing Junmyeon in such a vulnerable state and with his body on display makes Yixing’s blood boil. Who gets off on wanting to spread images like this around without the subject’s consent?

“Do you know if someone else got these pictures?”

“Based on some note in the shittiest handwriting ever, apparently, it got sent to Seojun’s defense attorney.”

“So, the son of a bitch can get an attorney but  _ not  _ turn himself in? Who the fuck is taking these pictures?”

“It’s the world we live in now. Apparently, some hotshot named Seo Junghoon is representing him. You know the type: they win a couple of cases and suddenly think they’re the best attorney alive. He lives in UN Village like he’s got a billion won in the bank.”

“Where did he graduate from?”

“Seoul National, but I heard he was a shit student. I don’t think he would have gotten in if it weren’t for his father.”

“A nepotism kid?”

“He’s Justice Seo Kyuchul’s kid.”

Yixing leans back in his chair, and tosses the pictures back onto Minseok’s desk. Justice Seo Kyuchul is presiding over the case, and having Junghoon representing Seojun could be risky. Justice Seo is highly respected for being fair and honest, but Yixing can only hope that he continues to do so when it’s his son at the defense’s table. Taking the information that’s been given to him, Yixing leaves Minseok’s office and goes into his own. It’s clear that if Seojun has an attorney, then Junghoon must know where he is. Sehun and his team have been working around the clock to find him, but it’s like he became a ghost in the wind. It’s only five minutes from nine in the morning, and Yixing is already tired despite having another nine hours of work ahead of him.

  
  
  
  
  


Yixing’s day is filled with bail hearings and action planning for his assigned cases but he can’t stop thinking about those pictures. He should tell Junmyeon about them, however, he also knows that it could incite an upset in Junmyeon that he doesn’t want him to deal with. The vulnerability of Junmyeon in the photos is what angers him the most, and he knows that Seojun is behind the pictures — he just doesn’t have proof. What is Seojun getting out of blackmailing Junmyeon in the first place? Before his mind has a chance to wander, his phone vibrates on the desk.

**Junmyeon**

_ Hi, are you busy? _

**Yixing**

_ No, I’ve got a break between cases. _ _   
  
_

**Junmyeon**

_ Oh, okay.  _

_ … _

Yixing knows that something is wrong, but he won’t press. 

**Yixing**

_ Did you need something? _

**Junmyeon**

_ To talk for a minute… _

_ Today’s been stressful already. _

**Yixing**

_ What’s going on? _

Junmyeon’s answer doesn’t come in the form of a text, as his caller ID pops up on the screen. Yixing answers, and his heart sinks. On the other end of the line is a sniffling Junmyeon, and based on the slight echoing in the background, he can tell that Junmyeon is in a restroom. He patiently waits a few minutes to see if Junmyeon is ready (or able) to speak, but he can instead hear another wave of quiet sobs wrack through him. Yixing is out of his seat before Junmyeon has even had the chance to say anything — the sound of him crying is enough. He tells Lisa to clear his schedule for the rest of the day, and it’s when he gets into his car that Junmyeon has calmed down enough to talk.

“S-Someone sent… they sent p-pictures of us… of-of  _ me _ …”

Yixing’s heart sinks into his stomach at how broken Junmyeon sounds, and draws his lower lip between his teeth. His heart beats uncomfortably in his chest, and he finally musters up asking where he is. Junmyeon tells him that he’s at work, hiding away in one of the restrooms on some random floor where his office isn’t even located. Although neither of them say anything while Yixing drives over, he can feel the hurt that Junmyeon is experiencing. The pictures are making his blood boil all over again, and he could only imagine what Junmyeon was feeling. 

He parks his car at the curb and heads into the building, taking the elevator to the fifth floor. Yixing searches for the restrooms near an orange couch as Junmyeon directed, and he hangs up the phone when he slips inside. He can hear Junmyeon’s soft sniffling in the last stall, and gently knocks his knuckles against the door. He hears a couple of footsteps followed by the lock sliding, and he pushes the door open once Junmyeon has stepped back. Junmyeon makes eye contact with him for all of a half second before his eyes are looking elsewhere, but that miniscule time is enough for Yixing to see that Junmyeon is  _ hurt _ . His eyes are rimmed red and tear tracks are stained on his cheeks. Junmyeon’s arms are laced protectively around his torso, as if to hide himself from prying eyes.

Yixing locks the stall door, and he’s glad that he stuck the idle “closed for maintenance” sign on the restroom door. He holds out his hand for Junmyeon to take, and for a while, his hand is hanging in the air. Junmyeon tentatively takes his hand, and Yixing takes that as an opportunity to pull him close. At first, staggered breaths wrack through Junmyeon’s body, but the second that Yixing cradles the back of his head and laces an arm around his waist, he’s crying all over again. 

“They sent the pictures to Irene,” he sobs while his fingers lace into the back of Yixing’s shirt. “They were sent to my parents! Irene is sending me home for God knows how long and my mom hasn’t stopped calling me. Who hates me this much?”

Yixing wishes that he had an answer. He wishes that he could hurt whoever is doing Seojun’s bidding — hell, he’d do  _ anything  _ to get his hands on Seojun. He does his best to comfort Junmyeon as he calms down, kissing away the tears that cling to his eyelashes and whispering soft words in hopes that it will help. It takes a few minutes of Yixing gently dabbing away his tears, rubbing his back, and reminding him that he’ll be there for him. Of course, Yixing didn’t think that any of this was going to happen when he met Junmyeon in that club. In truth, he hadn’t thought that he was going to want to know him or fall in love with him as quickly as he did, but Junmyeon’s aura was inescapable. 

He wouldn’t dare that Junmyeon had an innocence about himself. While Yixing is known to be the one to sometimes initiate sex between them, it’s more than likely that Junmyeon will slide a hand into the front of his pants while he’s cooking or riddle his neck with soft kisses and bites. Yixing helps him clean up his tears, and presses a gentle kiss against his lips.

“How about we get out of here?” Yixing asks softly.

Junmyeon nods. “Please. It stinks in here.”

  
  
  
  
  


Once back at his penthouse and with Junmyeon resting in the bedroom, Yixing decides to work in his office. He couldn’t believe that Junmyeon had any more tears left in him, as he heard the younger man sniffling quietly while he laid in bed. Yixing remained near the door of the bedroom, and it took a little over twenty minutes before his soft sniffling turned into soft snoring. He hated to see Junmyeon so hurt, especially while still healing from Seojun’s botched attempt to cause him physical harm. Yixing sets a glass of water and aspirin on the bedside table for him as he knows that he could have a headache when he wakes up, and shuts the door so he won’t be disturbed. 

While Yixing works, his mind won’t stop thinking of who could be taking these pictures, and why Seojun so clearly wanted to hurt Junmyeon in any way possible. He attempts to take his mind off things as he focuses on the other cases on his desk, and manages to focus on a meeting with Minseok and two other prosecutors. He reads and responds to emails, listens to the pleas of a mother who lost her son to a drunk driver, and completes three other tasks on his to-do list. Every now and then, he’ll stop his work to go check on Junmyeon, who hasn’t woken up from his sleep in the last three hours. 

He’s in the middle of a rather childish instant message exchange with Minseok when his phone vibrates, and at first, he ignores the call as it’s coming from an unknown number. The call goes to voicemail, but his phone vibrates again immediately after.

“Yah, whatever you’re selling I don’t—”

“Zhang Yixing.”

He leans back in his chair. “Who is this?”

“The man you’ve been looking for.”

Yixing swears that he’s stopped breathing. There’s no way that  _ Park Seojun _ would be calling him directly, and speaking to him casually at that. It’s times like this where Yixing is glad that he closed the door to his office in case Junmyeon were to wake up. His mouth runs dry as he thinks of what to say, but Seojun beats him to it.

“Did you see those pretty pictures?” His blood boils. “I never took Junmyeon to be such a whore—”

“Shut  _ the fuck _ up. Who are you to talk about him like that?”

“I could barely get him to kiss me in the mornings, and here he is, getting fucked by you like some common slut.”

Yixing rolls his eyes. “Why are you calling me, hm? You know there’s a warrant out for your arrest.”

“I felt like hearing the voice of the man he left me for,” Seojun’s words are laced with sarcasm. “What do you think?”

“Enlighten me.” 

Seojun sucks his teeth. “Give me Junmyeon, and I’ll turn myself in.”

It’s then that a laugh rumbles in Yixing’s chest, and he has to prevent himself from snorting as he laughs out loud. He pulls the phone away from his ear in disbelief, and gathers himself before speaking again.

“Yah, do you think he’s an object? Something you can possess and place on your mantle? If you haven’t turned yourself in thus far, then I know you won’t do shit if he went back to you.”

“I’m sitting in front of the police headquarters now,” Seojun sighs. “Don’t even think about telling that detective friend of yours, or he won’t be able to tell you who hurt him again.”

“Threatening a police officer, now? Let me see— kidnapping, domestic violence and attempted murder thanks to Kim Hwan not being able to hold water; let’s not forget racketeering. Want to up your charges? Keep talking.”

It’s Seojun’s turn to laugh then. “Come on, stop making this hard on yourself. Give me Junmyeon, and I’ll walk right into the agency. Sehun himself can put handcuffs on me.”

“You smug bastard.”

“Or, how about this? I want to meet you.”

Yixing stiffens. “What the fuck for?”

“I’ve seen you thanks to these pictures. I know what you look like, and therefore, I could ruin your career.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“One  _ fucking _ phone call,” Seojun snarls. “One phone call to Justice Seo Kyuchul and he’ll have your ass debarred for being with a witness.”

“Perhaps on suspension, but not debarred. Stop talking out of your ass.”

“Do you really want to keep playing with me, Yixing? I got my hands on Junmyeon before, and I won’t hesitate to do it again. Where is he?”

“None of your fucking business. Accept that he doesn’t want you anymore, and all of this will be over. Get your head out of your ass, and I  _ might _ recommend twenty year to Justice Seo.”

Seojun scoffs. “I’m texting you an address. If you don’t show up in an hour, there will be hell to pay.”

“And if I refuse?”

Yixing waits with bated breath. Seojun is a man who clearly doesn’t understand boundaries, and all he can hope is that justice prevails. Not only for Junmyeon, but for anyone else who had to deal with his crazy antics. 

“I know where you live, dickhead. You don’t know that someone is there watching you, but they know where you are. I know that Junmyeon is with you, so if you don’t show up— Junmyeon won’t be there to greet you  _ if  _ you return home.”

“Fuck you.”

“ _ One hour _ , asshole. I’m hanging up.”

Yixing doesn’t have the chance to say anything as the line cuts, and he pounds a fist down onto his desk. His phone vibrates once, and he sees that he’s received a text message containing the address. He wants nothing more than to wake Junmyeon up and tell him that they’re leaving. He’ll run off to Shanghai again, or to the States. He’ll attempt to smuggle Junmyeon out of the backdoor of the building, but he doesn’t know how many people Seojun could have here. Hell, he doesn’t even know if the bastard was telling the truth. He quietly pushes open the door of the bedroom open, and sees Junmyeon’s sleeping form. Quickly, he changes out of his slacks and dress shirt, replacing the clothing with a pair of jeans, a dark colored hoodie, a denim jacket, and a pair of sneakers.

He tiptoes over to Junmyeon, and crouches down. His cheeks are flushed and his lips are poked out in a slight pout. Yixing reaches up and gently strokes his thumb against his exposed forehead, kissing the spot gently. His eyes stretch when Junmyeon stirs, and his body stretches as he changes positions. Yixing decides to take his leave then, and stands to go. He’s stopped, though, when Junmyeon’s hand grips his fingers loosely. The sight is enough to make his heart skip a few beats, but it ends just as quickly as it began when Junmyeon’s hand drops to the mattress.

Yixing makes a quick stop in the office before grabbing his keys and phone, going into the parking garage and peeling out of the space.

  
  
  
  


When Junmyeon wakes, his head is pounding. The amount of stress that he’s experienced in the last twelve hours was enough to make him want to sleep for a week. He sits himself up and turns on the lamp, and he’s never been so grateful to see aspirin in his life. After downing two pills with the entire glass of water, he manages to get himself out of bed. The house is relatively silent as he pulls open the bedroom door, and he sees soft light coming from underneath the door of Yixing’s office. He knocks softly, and when he receives no verbal response, he figures that he may be working with headphones in.

“Yixing-ah?” He calls while pushing the door open, and he’s surprised to see that he’s gone. 

Could he have gone back to the courthouse? Maybe he went out for food? 

Junmyeon walks over to his desk, and searches for any sign of where he may have gone. The house may be big, but he could see that the rest of the lights were off, so there’s no way that Yixing could be elsewhere in the penthouse. Junmyeon’s eyes fall on a folded sheet of paper with his name on it, and he sits himself down while he picks it up. He’d only seen Yixing’s handwriting a few times before, and each time, it was always neat.

This time, his writing is scratchy and hastened.

Flipping open the paper, Junmyeon reads what he’s written. His heart begins to hammer in his chest, and he flies out of the chair with speed he didn’t realize he had. Junmyeon’s breathing is rapid as the letter flutters down to the floor, and scrambles for his phone. He sees that his mother has called him seven more times since he arrived at Yixing’s place, but the only thought he has is to get in touch with Yixing.

_ Junmyeon-ah, _

_ If you’re reading this note, I’ve gone to meet Seojun. Please do not worry about me, and please don’t look for me. _

_ I promised you that I would keep you safe, and if meeting him ensures that you’re not hurt, then that’s what I will do. I’m not sure of when I’ll be coming back to you. Will you wait for me?  _

_ Junmyeon-ah, I love you. I love you so much. _

_ I will come back to you, I promise. _

_ Yixing _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am .... a month later. yikes.
> 
> i have no excuses other than writers block, the holidays, and starting my final semester of college. did you enjoy the chapter in yixing's pov? i struggled so hard with writing from junmyeon's, but switching over to yixing's helped to progress the story along. that being said, we have eight chapters until the end, and there's still so much more to unpack! i hope that the next update doesn't take me as long as this one, and i hope to see you guys there too!
> 
> pls leave me kudos, but i would especially love comments. i love interacting with you guys and seeing how you like the story! thank you for reading! 🤎
> 
> twitter & cc: @jcnnierubies


	24. twenty three

The backseat of a tinted Hyundai is always oddly stuffy for Junmyeon. He watches the lights and citizens of Seoul as the car passes them, and he wishes that he were one of them. Don’t get him wrong — he’s not upset about getting dressed up or spending time with his fiance, but sometimes these galas can be uncomfortably suffocating. The idea of having to sit with his back rail straight while listening to boring men talk about boring numbers is enough to make Junmyeon want to jump right off a cliff. However, he’ll do this as he knows it means a lot to Seojun. So, with no complaints, Junmyeon gelled his hair, pulled out his trusty tuxedo, and dabbed concealer under his eyes since he hasn’t been getting much sleep lately thanks to a new book he was editing.

He keeps his eyes on the passing scenery until he feels a hand take his own, and he’s finally pulled from his thoughts. Seojun looks as handsome as he always does, with his longer locks brushed back and wearing a tuxedo that fits him perfectly. If this car wasn’t a rental, and if they didn’t have a driver, Junmyeon would have spread his legs in the backseat to spice up their night. His hands feel clammy in comparison to Seojun’s, and he smiles softly when Seojun gently strokes the back of his hand with his thumb.

“What are you thinking about?” 

Junmyeon shrugs. “Anything and everything, if that’s possible. I’m not going to know anyone there.”

“You’ll know me,” Seojun kisses his knuckles. “I know how much you hate these kinds of things, but let’s stay for an hour tops, okay? Then we can do whatever you want afterwards.”

“I don’t  _ hate _ the galas. They’re just … incredibly boring. I’m a words man, not a  _ numbers  _ man. I want to get chicken afterwards.”

Seojun chuckles. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less. Whatever you ask for, you know I’ll get it for you. What else do you want?”

Junmyeon decides to tease him then. He squints his eyes, and tilts his head. 

“I want a baby.”

Their chests press uncomfortably into their seat belts when the driver suddenly slams onto the breaks. The sound of the horn honking fills the otherwise silent car, and the driver mutters a few obscenities under her breath about the person that suddenly cut him off. He apologizes to them, and Seojun gently (and robotically) pats the man’s shoulder. Junmyeon’s eyes travel over Seojun’s face, and the man is flushed of all color as he leans back into his seat. He wants nothing more than to keep up with his facade, but Junmyeon can’t help himself. His chest rumbles with soft giggles that soon turns into a boisterous laugh, and he’s sure that if he laughs any harder then he’ll end up with a bad case of hiccups. 

“I’m messing with you!” 

Seojun lets out a heavy breath. “ _ Yah _ , you can’t scare me like that!”

Junmyeon calms down his laughter and slides across the backseat to close the space between them. “Maybe we’ll have kids of our own someday, but you have to marry me first,” his thumb absentmindedly strokes against Seojun’s ring. “Before we even  _ think _ about an adoption agency, we’re going to get married and you’re going to take me to Paris.”

“You want to go to Paris?” Seojun gently cups his cheek and pulls him in closer. “We’ll go to Paris, baby.”

Before Seojun gets the chance to kiss him, the car is actually stopping. Junmyeon reels back, and sees that they’ve arrived at their destination. 

“We’ll finish this later.”

  
  
  
  
  


The ballroom of the Four Seasons hotel has been beautifully decorated with black and white accents for Seoul Financial’s gala. Circular tables with black tablecloths and intricate white centerpieces are placed strategically in front of a stage with a crystal clear podium settled on top. Women float by on staggering heels and in dresses that cost more than what he’s willing to think of, and the men wear perfectly pressed tuxedos and enough cologne that could choke someone. Junmyeon feels so out of place, and even though he’s been doing this with Seojun for the better part of three years, he can’t seem to shake the feeling that he doesn’t belong.

Junmyeon was used to team dinners, where he got a little too drunk with his team and cried over how much they loved one another while simultaneously making their meat too crispy. He’s used to laughing a little too loud and tripping over his words while Jennie and Seulgi break into song while using their fists as microphones. Irene would promise to put butterscotch candies on their desks while her husband smoothed her hair out of her face and gently kissed her forehead (prompting a flurry of awes from the rest of them) before helping her out of the restaurant. He’d stand on the corner waiting for a cab, and Junmyeon would mistake Seojun for a cute cab driver every single time. 

He’s far too nervous to do anything other than stick to Seojun’s side, and bow into a perfect ninety degree angle whenever Seojun introduces him to his colleagues. At one point, he’s even too nervous to ask one of the bartenders on duty for two glasses of champagne, but he eventually starts to gain his bearings. 

He plasters on a faux smile when Seojun’s colleagues tell a story that sounds completely made up and his smile immediately fades whenever he takes a sip of champagne. At one point, Seojun rests a gentle hand against his lower back, and although it’s comforting it doesn’t help the boredom that has immediately set in. Conversations of foreign cars and lavish vacations soon turns into which clients gave the best ‘thank you’ gifts, and Junmyeon has had enough. He excuses himself from the small circle by whispering to Seojun that he’ll be back, and the part with a soft kiss. Junmyeon returns his empty champagne flute to one of the waiters walking around the space, and the second he steps out onto the balcony, he finally feels like he can breathe.

The gala was on the sixth floor of the hotel, and although there was no balcony for him to step out onto, the lobby had large windows that gave a view of Jongno-gu. Junmyeon sets himself down on one of the plush leather couches, and releases a soft breath as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. He pokes around social media for a minute, and is then drawn back to his messages when he sees how much fun his friends are having.

**SEOULMATES**

**Jongin**

_ Hyung, you should come with us! _

_ Blow off the gala! _

**Chungha**

_ Boo, he hasn’t responded. Maybe he’s getting … you know…? _

**Jongin**

_ Dicked down? You can say it, Alcohol. _

**Chungha**

_ Ew, no thanks!  _

**Hwasa**

_ Myeon-ah, where are you? There’s no way you’re having fun! _

**Kyungsoo**

_ You guys are the worst.  _

**Junmyeon**

…

**Chungha**

_ Ooh, he’s typing! _

**Junmyeon**

_ I’d love to come, but I promised… _

“Are you avoiding the gala too?”

Junmyeon startles, and nearly drops his phone. He looks up at the person who has spoken to him, and the man holds his hands up in surrender as he approaches. The man looks to be about the same height as Seojun, and his hair is styled off of his forehead. Compared to everyone else’s plain black tuxedos, he wore a blazer that had colorful dragons emblazoned on the back and sleeves. Junmyeon wonders if he’s even a part of the gala, and not a member of some underground mafia ring.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The stranger’s smile is gentle as he speaks, and Junmyeon feels his shoulders relax. 

“It’s okay, and is it bad if I say yes?” They both laugh lightly, and Junmyeon gestures for the man to sit with him. “Did you come with someone?”

“I came on my own. I’ve been working overseas and recently got transferred back. You?”

Junmyeon blushes. “I came with Park Seojun. I’m not sure if you know him.”

The man seems a little stunned by what Junmyeon says, and takes a sip of his drink. Junmyeon can tell that it’s from the hotel’s bar, and not from the champagne and water only bar that’s inside of the ballroom. The man’s index finger taps against the side of his glass.

“We worked together for a little while before I transferred,” he leans back. “Are you two together?”

Junmyeon’s face reddens even more. “We got engaged four months ago.”

His eyebrows quirk. “Congratulations.”

A silence blankets over them, and Junmyeon returns his gaze towards the open door to the ballroom. He can see an older couple slow dancing with one another and there’s a few boisterous laughs that escape from the room, but Junmyeon has no interest in rejoining the party just yet. He skids the toe of his dress shoe against the carpet, and it kind of sucks that despite his need for some air, Seojun hadn’t come out to see if he was alright. Of course, Junmyeon chops it up to knowing how important this night was to Seojun, and who was he to make him sit in the lobby just because he’s bored? Junmyeon sinks his teeth down into his lower lip as he gently scratches the back of his head.

“Um, I’m Junmyeon,” he extends his hand. “I didn’t properly introduce myself.”

“Jung Yunho. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Junmyeon visibly flinches when Yunho kisses his knuckles, and he’s especially startled when someone clears their throat. His head turns so fast that he thinks it’s going to snap, and he sees Seojun standing there with two glasses of water in his hands. Junmyeon snatches his own back and stands up from the couch while Yunho remains settled on the couch, legs spread lazily as he takes another sip of his drink. Junmyeon is already tripping over his words, and he closes the space between himself and Seojun.

“Seojun—”

“ _ Hush _ ,” he responds harshly. 

Junmyeon has never shrunk back so fast in his life. His lips press together firmly, and he hangs his head as he steps out of the way. He knows that Seojun is mad, and he’s especially nervous that this small action will cause a big scene. Junmyeon doesn’t want Seojun to potentially put a sour taste in the mouths of the big wigs in the ballroom, so he lifts his chin and squares his shoulders.

“Seojun, let’s go.”

“Not when this  _ fucker _ is sitting here,” Seojun’s words are sharp. “How could you let him do that?”

“I didn’t know he was going to. I just wanted to shake his hand!” 

Junmyeon feels Yunho’s looming presence behind him, and he visibly shrinks again. He hadn’t realized how tall the man was, and he moved to step beside Seojun. He easily takes the glass from Seojun’s hands to prevent the drink from being tossed (or the glass from being broken). This wasn’t the kind of  _ event  _ he had in mind, and he was going to diffuse the situation the best way that he knew how. 

“What are you doing here?”

It’s evident that Junmyeon gently tugging on Seojun’s hand isn’t enough to distract him from Yunho. Junmyeon doesn’t know what their problem is with one another, and he doesn’t want to find out either. 

“I came to annoy you,” Yunho answers nonchalantly. 

“Seojun, let’s  _ go— _ ”

“You’re a real asshole, you know that? Showing your face here after what you did.”

“ _ I _ didn’t do anything. You can’t be upset about him moving on, especially when you’ve already gotten yourself someone new.” Junmyeon shivers under Yunho’s gaze. “Don’t worry. When he came to visit me, I fucked him nice and slow. He whined so much I knew you weren’t fucking him like you should have.”

“Quit talking about him like that,” Seojun and Yunho are the same height, so Seojun looks the other man directly in the eyes. 

Yunho chuckles. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“You knew how I felt about him leaving me, and yet you still went after him like the sleeze you are.”

“He left  _ you _ ?” Yunho asks incredulously. “Based on what he’s told me, and in his words, ‘he left me for some  _ whore _ that probably doesn’t know the difference between Gucci and Prada. He looks like he only knows how to lay on his back while someone else does all the work’. No hard feelings.”

Junmyeon feels his hands beginning to sweat when Yunho speaks to him, and he hopes that he didn’t notice how hard he flinched when that word was directed towards him. He half expects for Seojun to say something, but he continues on without skipping a beat.

“I loved him, you asshole. You knew how much I loved Baekhyun-ah and slept with him the second you saw an opening. Had you been waiting on your chance knowing that you couldn’t get him any other way?”

Junmyeon’s grip on Seojun’s hand suddenly relinquishes. He hadn’t realized that  _ Baekhyun  _ was the topic of this conversation, and he feels a mile wide distance between himself and the two men in front of him. His ears are ringing as he sees the two mutter angry words at one another, but Junmyeon can’t hear anything. Seojun looks like he’s ready to have steam come out of his ears, and Yunho is as cool as a cucumber, but Junmyeon feels sick. He’s been getting Baekhyun’s short end of the stick for the last year and a half since Seojun openly kissed him at a work gathering, and Seojun knows how much Baekhyun gets under his skin. 

So why was he defending his honor like some knight in shining armor?

For Junmyeon, the armor he thought Seojun wore for him  _ rusts _ , and he feels tears beginning to prickle the backs of his eyes. His eyes flit between Seojun and Yunho one last time, and it’s evident that Seojun isn’t paying attention to him at all. He flicks away a tear that slides down his cheek, and maneuvers himself around the duo to get away. He wants to get  _ far  _ away. Junmyeon doesn’t expect for Seojun to follow him, and he doesn’t expect for him to call out after him— Seojun doesn’t do either of those things. He attempts to keep himself calm with deep breaths, but he knows that he can’t hold out much longer. His finger jabs at the elevator button although doing so doesn’t make it move any faster, and draws the inside of his cheek between his teeth as he keeps his tears at bay.

He texts the driver, asking him to meet at the front of the hotel. Junmyeon crosses through the lobby of the hotel, and he’s just about to reach the revolving doors when he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. He whips around, and sees that it’s Seojun, who is speaking to him but Junmyeon can’t hear a word that he’s saying. Junmyeon wishes that he could stomp his feet into the ground to prevent himself from being pulled into the unoccupied lounge. 

“Let go of me,” he grits, but his voice shakes. 

“Junmyeon-ah, listen—”

“You are the  _ worst _ , Park Seojun. You’re defending Baekhyun-ssi like you two are still together, and you ignore me when I tell you to walk away,” Junmyeon lets out a shaky breath. “What’s so special about him, huh?”

“Junmyeon-ah—”

“Tell me!” His voice rises. “Don’t try to sweet talk me right now. What’s so special about him that you feel the need to get up in arms about the prospect of him being fucked by someone else?”

“Baby, it’s not what you think.”

“Then stop with the vague answers and  _ tell me _ ,” Junmyeon’s frustration is building. “I’ve told you so many times how I felt about him, and you say how much you loved him as if I wasn’t standing next to you. You didn’t even try to defend me when you heard him say that Baekhyun-ssi has called me a whore, and that’s not the first time either! He’s said it to my face on numerous occasions and the only reason I’ve never said anything to Irene is because I’m not trying to step on any toes. I have never felt more insecure than I do when he’s always making jabs at me, and telling me how I’ll never matter to you as much as he did or how I won’t be as good as he was.”

Seojun’s eyes flicker up to his.

“I know you know what I mean when I say that. I can’t compare to him, no matter how much I try to puff out my chest and pretend like I am or push myself to try something new in bed because  _ he  _ put it into my head that you’d get bored of me,” Junmyeon hadn’t realized how much he was crying until he felt Seojun’s thumbs gently wiping against his cheeks. “I-I… wonder all the time if I’m good enough for you, but each time I have some semblance of confidence he knows how to drain it from me all over again. What does he have that I don’t? Why am I not… why am I not enough for you?”

Junmyeon hates that he’s become nothing more than a puddle of tears within the last ten minutes, but the ache he feels in his chest is almost too much to handle. The couple have had their fair share of disagreements, but this ran so much deeper than that. Junmyeon was never the type for confrontation as he took everything dealt to him with stride, but if his own  _ fiance  _ was more willing to defend his ex-boyfriend, then where does that leave Junmyeon? His insecurities had a habit of eating away at him, and he knew how to swallow them down long enough to avoid them taking over his emotions, but it felt as though he was poked too many times to count. 

The feeling of Seojun gently stroking a hand along his spine isn’t as comforting as Junmyeon was hoping it would be, but he doesn’t make the effort to push him away either. They stay like that— Junmyeon’s crying now reduced to gentle sniffles while Seojun’s arm tightens around his waist. It takes a couple of minutes for Junmyeon to collect himself, and Seojun untangles them to grab a napkin from one of the tables. He ushers for Junmyeon to sit before gently dabbing the napkin underneath his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Seojun finally speaks once he’s finished. “There’s no excuse for me to have done or said those things. I just… I wasn’t thinking and I wasn’t thinking about your feelings. That was fucked up of me.”

Junmyeon keeps quiet for a minute in case Seojun had something more to say, but Junmyeon guesses that he can’t complain that he was given an apology. It’s silent between the couple before Junmyeon is the one to speak up again.

“Should we go back to the gala? We could just avoid him or something.”

Seojun checks his watch. “We’ve been here for an hour and thirteen minutes. I don’t think they’ll miss us if we leave.”

He blinks a couple of times, and leans forward to softly press his lips against Seojun’s. Perhaps he was moving too fast and wanting to clear his mind of the last few minutes the best way that he knew how, but Junmyeon didn’t want to think anymore. The kiss starts off innocently enough, and Junmyeon closes the space between them as he slides over the leather of the couch. His cheeks feel incredibly warm as he draws himself closer to Seojun and slinks an arm around his neck. He pulls back just enough to talk, but he can still feel Seojun’s soft breaths on his skin.

“We should stay.”

“You  _ actually  _ want to go back?”

His head shakes. “We should stay here… at the hotel.”

It seems to take a minute for Seojun to get what he’s hinting at, and while Junmyeon thinks he’s going to grab his hand and whisk him off to the front desk to book a room, he’s sadly mistaken. Seojun adjusts his posture, and when he straightens his back, Junmyeon pulls himself out of the small bubble that’s been created between them. The bubble bursts, and the bedroom eyes that Junmyeon had put on in an effort to think of  _ anything  _ else are put away. His eyes scan down to his feet, and his fingers start to curl into the fabric of his pants. He stops when Seojun slides his hand into his, and rubs his thumb over the back of Junmyeon’s hand.

“Come on.”

Junmyeon follows Seojun, but his jaw ticks in an effort to keep himself from tearing up again. He keeps up with him, though, and swipes a hand against his cheek when he feels a tear escape, but he’s snapping his head up so fast he’s afraid he has whiplash.

“One room for two.” 

The receptionist looks between the two of them for a minute, and a soft smile spread across her features. “Are you celebrating your wedding?”

Junmyeon squeaks, remembering their tuxedos.

“We’re not married yet,” Seojun answers calmly and hands over his credit card. “I just have some apologizing to do.”

Junmyeon is sure that his face has burned red with the way that the receptionist looks at him, and she passes back Seojun’s card along with the key to their room. “Well, I hope you have fun. You’re in our City View Executive Suite, room 2120 on the twenty first floor.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Here, drink this.”

Junmyeon whines as he keeps his eyes screwed shut, and barely relaxes when Seojun brushes his hair off of his forehead. He doesn’t know what time they finally fell asleep after tangling in the sheets for what felt like  _ hours _ , and he could feel the gentle thrum of a headache starting in the back of his head. He can feel Seojun gently pushing a pill against his lips, but he pushes his hand away and tries to roll over.

“Baby, take this medicine.”

“I don’t want to. I just want to sleep.”

Seojun chuckles. “Come on, take it. I’ve already ordered breakfast.”

Junmyeon whines and slowly sits up to avoid making the dull ache in his head any worse. He accepts the medicine from Seojun and takes it with a glass of water while gently rubbing his hands against his eyes. The morning sun was beginning to peek into the room from behind the curtain, and Seojun sat down beside him on the other side of the bed. He still feels small shocks shooting up his legs, thighs, and back when Seojun pulls him against his chest. Junmyeon is thankful for the blankets that are draped over his lap when the gentle morning chill kisses his skin. 

“Junmyeon-ah,” Seojun calls to him gently. “Last night got so out of hand and that was wrong of me. I didn't realize much talking about him hurt you.”

He stops fiddling with Seojun’s fingers then, and rolls over to face him. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Maybe it’s not fair of Junmyeon to shut down the conversation when it meant so much to him the night before, but he’d rather not dredge up those feelings again. “Let’s just … let’s be together for however long we have this room.” He crawls up onto his knees, and Seojun’s hands rest on his hips as he settles on his lap. “Can we do that for a little while longer?”

Instead of verbally answering him, Seojun kisses his lips and down to his neck, hands gripping Junmyeon’s waist as the space between them diminishes. The blankets are pushed away and his back presses down into the bed once again, but he’s barely conscious of what’s happening. He moves through the motions almost robotically, but enough where Seojun hasn’t noticed his change in demeanor. His head turns towards the windows, and the sun peeking from behind the curtain shines right into his eyes, but it’s the only thing that he can bring his mind to focus on. 

He feels Seojun kiss against his hip. “Junmyeon?”

“Junmyeon-ah…”

“Junmyeon-ssi!”

  
  
  


He snaps out of his thoughts, and drags his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t know how long he’s zoned out of the conversation, and he can tell by the looks on everyone’s faces that they’ve been waiting for a while. Before him sits Minseok, Chungha, Jongin, Hwasa, Kyungsoo, and Sehun. It had been a little over three hours since he read the letter from Yixing, and it was a blurred flurry of actions between crying on the phone with Chungha (which prompted her to cry as well) and finally revealing to his friends that he was in a relationship with Yixing.

He skipped the part about him cheating.

The judgement that he feared from them was almost nonexistent, but they barely had the time to smother Junmyeon since they knew they had a bigger task at hand. They had to find Yixing, and they had to find him now.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guessed yunho being u know of tvxq! then you'd be correct, haha! i wanted to do a long form flashback since they were fun to write in an older chapter, and i hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> and sorry to leave you guys wondering for a little while longer about where yixing is, but i didn't want the reveal to happen too soon. the next chapter is gonna be a fun one! 
> 
> i held out on my workout to finish this chapter, so i'm off to do that now! as always 🥺 please leave kudos but /especially/ comments as they give me feedback and because i love interacting with you guys. 
> 
> until the next update! 🤎
> 
> cc & twitter: @jcnnierubies.


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